Untamed

by S. C. Stephens

  I was handed back to my wife after all the well-wishers had given me their congratulations. I clamped on to her like she was fresh air and I couldn’t breathe. “Can you believe this, Anna? We’re gonna be okay.”

  She ran her fingers through my hair while she held me. It calmed me. “I knew we would be, baby. I always knew we would be.” I didn’t see how she could have possibly held on to that belief during all of this, but I didn’t call her on it. Pulling back, Anna stared deep into my eyes. I could have gotten lost in the brilliant jade of hers. “I told you you could do it, Griff. I told you they’d recognize your talent, that they’d give you your chance. You just had to be patient.”

  I let out a steadying exhale. She’d been right all along. “Have I told you how amazing you are today? How lucky I am to have you in my life?”

  Biting her lip, she nodded. “Yes, once this morning and once on the way here.”

  “Good,” I said with a smile. “I don’t want you to ever forget how much you mean to me.”

  Anna was silent as we locked gazes with each other, then she leaned down to kiss me. Just as our lips met, I felt a tug on my pant leg. Looking down, I saw Gibson standing with Onnika. While Onnika seemed happy as a clam with a balloon in each hand, Gibson looked confused. “What’s the party for, Daddy?” Her expression brightened. “My birthday?”

  Since her birthday was still a ways off, I shook my head. “No. This is for Uncle Liam’s new job…and mine.” I squatted down to her level. “Daddy’s getting his old job back. I’m going to be in a band again. Tour the world with Uncle Liam, Uncle Matt, Uncle Evan, and Uncle Kellan. That cool with you?”

  Gibson’s lips pressed into a look of concentration, until finally, she nodded. “Yes. That’s okay. Can Onnie and I come too?” She looked between Anna and me with hope in her eyes.

  I glanced up at Anna before returning my eyes to Gibson. “We’ll see, honey. It depends on how Mommy feels. She’s going to have another baby soon. Did you know that?”

  Gibson’s face fell. “Another baby? But you just had one.” Her voice was both whiny and incredulous. I laughed at her statement. Onnika wasn’t exactly a baby anymore.

  Anna smiled as she looked down at us. “Well, there’s another one coming, so you better start preparing yourself.”

  Gibson groaned as she sat down on the confetti-strewn floor. “Goddammit,” she muttered.

  I brought my fingers to her chin and made her look up at me. “You’re too young to talk like that. I don’t want to hear any more swearing from you, understand?”

  She pursed her lips in annoyance, but she nodded. Anna beamed at me, and I suddenly realized just how much the swearing had bugged her. I made a mental note to try to hold my tongue around little ears more often. Whatever I could do to make Anna happy. She deserved that…and so much more.

  Epilogue

  Awesome Returns

  The first thing the guys and I did was decide the best way to incorporate the new sound. Matt and Evan wanted to focus on new material, but Kellan and I wanted to remix a couple of the most popular D-Bags songs. Liam’s vote ended up being the deciding factor, which instantly made me appreciate having an odd number of members; no more stalemates.

  Once we decided on the music, we started practicing it. We met every day, and for once, I didn’t mind. In fact, I would have met twice a day if the guys had asked me to. I was ecstatic for the new album to be out—people were going to flip when they heard it! Plus, the sooner we released it, the sooner I could pay off my debt. Then maybe Anna and I could eat something other than macaroni and cheese or Top Ramen for dinner. I was rapidly getting sick of pasta.

  Maybe seeing that I was starting to lose weight, since I generally only ate once a day, Kellan approached me one afternoon when we were done rehearsing for the day. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure,” I said, carefully setting my new guitar on its stand. “Is this about Bella’s gift? ’Cause I know I said I’d get her something when she was born, and I will, it’s just things are a little tight right now. We spent the last of Anna’s paycheck on Gibson’s birthday…but we are so thrilled for you and Kiera.” I elbowed him in the ribs. “Little girls are awesome. You’re gonna love it.”

  Kellan gave me one of those smiles that only new dads could create. It was a mixture of pride and exhaustion. Kiera had given birth to their daughter last week, and the entire house was still adjusting to the new addition, but it was a happy adjustment.

  Kellan shook his head and clapped my arm. “No, no, don’t even worry about that. Kiera and I don’t care if you get her anything, and honestly, Bella has more stuff than five newborns need.” He pursed his lips as I laughed.

  “Get used to it. From my experience, girls accumulate a lot of shit.”

  He smiled, then looked around to see if we were alone. “I know things are tight, and I want to help.”

  I immediately rejected his offer. “No. Things are the way they are because I was an idiot. I don’t need a bailout for my own stupidity.” Not anymore, not since hope was on the horizon. I just had to suck it up a little longer.

  Kellan didn’t back down. “You made amends, you deserve a fresh start.” I could tell by the look in his eye and the way that he was studying my ragged appearance that there was going to be money in my account tomorrow, whether I asked for it or not.

  As guilty as I felt about Kellan spending his money on me, I was touched by his offer, and I felt a bond being strengthened. A brotherly bond as tight as family. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I sucked up my pride and told him, “Thank you, it’s been…hard. I’ll pay you back, of course. Double, triple, you name it.”

  Kellan’s smile was soft when I pulled my hand away. “You only need to pay me back what you borrowed, Griffin. Family doesn’t charge interest.”

  I felt like I could breathe freely after that. Sure, even with that monkey off my back, things were still tight living on just one income, but it felt good to know we were making it. And it felt even better to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel. The fact that our lives would change when the album released helped tremendously. Although I didn’t mind our modest life. Quite the opposite. I loved every minute of it.

  The album released in April. There was a lot of hype behind it, thanks to the show, and to the announcement that the band had made early on—that the four original members were reuniting, but Liam was still in. We were expanding, in every way possible. That had everyone talking about us, and about the new album. It was quite easily the most anticipated album of the year. And because it was so different from the rest of our stuff, I was a nervous wreck. Oddly, I was the only one who was nervous.

  Matt, Evan, and Kellan were as calm as could be. Liam was just giddy. He wanted to start playing live. He wanted to go on tour. He wanted his rock star life to start. And about four weeks before the album dropped, he got his wish. The five of us headed out on a massive promotional tour.

  The first stop of the tour was back in L.A. Mom and Dad came down to the radio station with Matt’s parents to listen to their kids perform. Because I thought it would be fun for them to see behind the scenes of the radio station, I got them passes to join us inside the conference room where we were playing.

  I texted Anna for support a few minutes before we played the first single off the new album. Anna had stayed home with the girls. Promotional tours were even more chaotic than regular tours, and with her about to pop in a couple months, I felt it was best for her to stay home. Anna was fine with it, she had a job that she loved to keep her busy. Gibson was pissed though. I’d never seen a true tantrum from her until the day I’d told her she couldn’t go on tour with me. Needless to say, I’d given my word that she could come on the regular tour with us when it started this summer.

  Anna texted me back the encouragement I’d needed to hear, and just seeing her words made me feel calmer. You have nothing to worry about. The song kicks ass! It’s the best song the band has ever done…and it’
s all because of you. I wasn’t sure about that last part, but it felt good to hear it.

  Before we played the new single, the DJs asked us some questions. Surprisingly, most of them were directed at me. “So, why did you leave the band and what made you return?”

  It seemed like that should be an easy question, but it really wasn’t. There were so many factors. I decided to simplify it though. “I left because I was an effing idiot. I came back because I…well, I think I grew up.”

  The DJs laughed while Matt nodded like he agreed with me. Then one of the DJs said, “You technically didn’t win the right to join the band. How did it feel to lose to your brother?”

  Again, a complicated question. Again, I answered as simply as possible. “I’d never expected to win, and my brother kicked ass during the competition, so I had no regrets over him winning. He earned it.”

  Liam grinned at me and I fist-bumped him. The DJs shifted their questions to the guys after that. “What made you guys decide to take him back and expand the band?”

  Matt, Evan, and Kellan all looked at each other, then Kellan pointed at Matt. “Go ahead. You take this one.”

  Matt looked down, then up at me. “We saw Griffin’s growth and his potential.” He smiled at me, then shifted his eyes to the DJs. “We could have gone on without him, but it would have felt incomplete.” Smirking, he added, “The D-Bags just aren’t the same without their biggest D.”

  The DJs laughed again, then we set up to play our new song. I was so nervous, I was shaking. But as soon as the intro started, the familiarity of playing hit me and all my nerves evaporated. It was just like we were back at rehearsal—no pressure, no one but us listening, nothing but good times and good music.

  Our new song was extra special to me; I’d helped Kellan write it. We’d been talking one night about everything I’d gone through, all the ups and downs, and he’d said my story, my struggles, would make an awesome song. It was about having it all, then losing it, and trying to work your way back. It was probably the first D-Bags song that actually meant something to me…plus, I got to rap in it, which was freaking awesome.

  Evan and Liam started us off with a mellow intro, then Kellan came in real quiet. But just one line. After that, I started my rhythmic rap. The DJs clearly weren’t expecting that, and seeing that I’d caught them off guard almost made me smile. I would have, if I wasn’t concentrating so hard. This beginning part was all me; in essence, Kellan was just singing backup. As the song started building to the first chorus, I swear I could feel the entire world listening. It was intense. Kellan killed it on the chorus, and all of us played full bore. Then it quieted down to another mellower rapping section, where I poured out my heart, my fear, and my sins. It was odd to be singing about something so personal, but it made me feel cleansed too, and I suddenly began to wonder if all the songs the D-Bags sang were personal for someone in the band. Probably.

  After the second chorus, the instruments mellowed again, but instead of me rapping, Kellan came in with a smooth solo. Listening to him made me appreciate his talent. He really was incredibly fucking good at this. The instruments kicked in again and Kellan took his voice up a notch—it gave me goose bumps. We rode out the song on a high note, and when it was over, all I wanted to do was play it again.

  Everyone in the room clapped when we were done, and Mom even wiped some tears from her eyes. The texts and messages the station received were all positive, but I really wasn’t sure what the fans thought of the song until we stepped outside. The crowd had been listening to the radio station’s outdoor speakers, and the screams and cheers they let out when they saw us was damn near deafening. I immediately texted Anna. They loved it!

  Her response was instant. Of course they did! I’m so proud of you, baby. She included a kissy face after that, and I suddenly wished I was home with her and the girls. All of this meant nothing without them.

  We went back home after the promotional tour ended. The tour was a mammoth success, and the album debuted at number one. I was excited that the fans were eager for our new bigger and better sound, but I was even happier to be home in Anna’s arms again.

  Denny and Abby threw a private party for the band at Pete’s the following week. It was a huge event, and anyone who had ever supported the band was there—Holeshot, Avoiding Redemption, Poetic Bliss, my family, Matt’s family, Evan’s family, and even Kellan’s family. Plus all of our friends and all the current and former staff of Pete’s were there.

  It was a party for the record books, and even though it felt good to have my banishment lifted from my favorite bar, I spent most of the night attached to Anna’s side, rubbing her lower back. Just as she murmured that she was ready for me to start rubbing other parts of her body, Denny approached us. Smiling wide, he extended his hand to me. “Congratulations, Griffin. The album is well on its way to being the best D-Bags album yet. The reviews everywhere have been outstanding. Fans and critics agree, which is rare. And they’re all saying the same thing: You’re amazing.”

  I shook his hand, but his compliment made me uncomfortable. “It’s a group effort. I’m only one part, a small part really.”

  Denny blinked at me, then laughed. “It still blows me away that you’re capable of being modest.”

  Crooking a smile, I shrugged. If there was one thing I’d learned through all of this, it was that I couldn’t do it on my own. My success depended on others, and vice versa. We were a team, and I was learning how to be a helpful, supportive member of that team. I wasn’t perfect, and I still had the occasional slipup, but I was getting better.

  Anna wrapped an arm around me, squeezing me tight. “He’s capable of many things.” From the suggestive way she wriggled her eyebrows, it was obvious just what she meant by that. I laughed as I squeezed her tight. Gotta love my horny girl.

  My family approached me after Denny went off to dance with Abby. Liam was beside himself. “Number one…the album is number one!”

  With a nod, I told him, “I know. I got the call too.”

  Awe on his face, he shook his head. “It’s the top-selling album…in the world.”

  “Yeah…that’s what number one means.”

  Turning from me, he faced Mom and Dad. “The album is number one…”

  I shook my head as he got into a conversation with them about it. Liam just couldn’t wrap his mind around the sudden success. Well, sudden to him. His reaction reminded me of when the D-Bags first hit it big with Sienna Sexton. I’d probably reacted the same way. No…I’d probably acted like I’d expected nothing less, but inside I’d been freaking out.

  Chelsey and Dustin were dancing the night away in the center of the bar, and it was surprisingly good to see my sister dancing again. I hoped Dustin took her out as often as he could, and knowing him and his character, I was sure he did. When their song was over, Chelsey twirled my way. “Hey, little brother, care to dance with your big sister?”

  With a huge grin, I told her, “Sure.”

  Even though it was a slow song, I spun her around and dipped her like a madman. She adjusted to everything I did though. Chelsey was a natural on her feet. Around halfway through the song, I stopped goofing off and danced with her normally. Arms around my neck, she gave me a grin full of sisterly pride. “I’m so happy for you, Griffin. And I knew you could do it.”

  My eyes shifted to the ground before returning to her face. “You knew I could impress the guys enough that they’d take me back?”

  Chelsey shook her head. “The band was never the steak, Griffin.” She pointedly looked over my shoulder and I followed her gaze. Anna was talking with Dustin; she shot me a wave when she noticed us staring at her.

  I was nodding when I shifted back to Chelsey. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re always right. It’s fucking annoying.” Chelsey laughed and I joined in. It felt so good to be on the other side of our grief.

  When Anna and I took the girls back to our tiny apartment at the end of the night, I felt complete. Nothing in my life could
get any better.

  But I was wrong.

  Three weeks later, my wife gave birth to our newest child, and my life became even more perfect. We’d wanted the sex to be a surprise, and I was definitely surprised. I’d fully expected to be adding another girl to the family, but instead, my wife gave me a boy. A beautiful boy, with the palest blond hair and eyes that already had a hint of green to them.

  As I held him in my arms, I asked Anna, “You still want that name we decided on?”

  With a tired smile, she nodded, “It seems only fitting, since he was conceived on a stage. I like it spelled with an E though…so it’s a little different than the band he’s named after.”

  I thought that was a great idea, so when the guys and my family came in to meet him, I proudly introduced them to the newest Hancock. “Everybody, I want you to meet my son…Linken. Linken, I want you to meet…everybody.”

  It was hard to give him up to pass him around, and I almost felt more protective of him than my girls. Maybe that was because he was so tiny, and they were getting so big. I think I even told Kellan to watch his head, which was ridiculous, considering he’d just gone through the newborn stage with Bella. What could I say, I was an anxious dad. Besides my wife, nothing meant more to me than my kids.

  Matt looked nervous when it was his turn to hold Linken. The look in his eye made me not want to hand my son over. Matt had butterfingers written all over him. “Dude, you don’t have to take a turn if you don’t want to…if you’re scared.”