by Adele Hart
“Deal.”
Five
Jess - One Month Later
"It's like heaven and hell all at the same time," I say to Dina as we sit on the swings and watch Ben play in the sand with the kids she babysits. "I mean, he's amazing. The way he looks at me is…just like something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie, you know? He's so romantic and dreamy and careful with me. And when we make-out, it's like the rest of the world and all of my problems just disappear."
Dina looks at me, her face screwed up in confusion. “What’s the hell part, then?”
“Because I can’t sleep with him even though I want to so bad it’s making me crazy.”
“Why not? You’re over eighteen. It’s a free country. You both want each other.”
“Yeah, but I can’t get pregnant My mom would murder me. And when she was done, I’d be left just like Carla. Stuck in this stupid town. Stuck raising a child on my own.”
“There are other options, you know.”
I shake my head. "I can't go see Doc Taylor. Not with my aunt working there."
“Condoms are pretty reliable.”
“Pretty reliable isn’t enough for me. I come from ridiculously fertile stock. Plus, I just can’t. I promised myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as my mom and Carla and I’m going to hold strong. If I knew this was going to be more than a summer fling, I’d go for it. But, there’s no way to be sure.”
“Sure, there is. Does he talk about the future?”
"Yes, as much as I'll let him." I let my bare feet drag in the warm sand. "It makes me feel kind of scared."
“You’re scared to believe him in case he’s lying.”
“Or he changes his mind. I mean that can happen, too, right? He goes back to college, or gets signed by an AFL team and forgets about me. We’re just from such different worlds, you know?”
“I know. But, most things aren’t worth doing if they aren’t a little bit scary.”
I laugh. “Thanks, Oprah.”
"I'm serious. That's one of the things I know for sure," Dina says, lightly punching my arm as she swings forward.
Ben comes running up to me. “Auntie Jess, I’m hungry.”
“Again? We just ate lunch, little man.” I muss up his hair.
“I’m a growing boy, Auntie.”
“Okay, let’s go get you some food, then.”
That night, Ethan sneaks me onto his parents’ yacht. When we get there, he lights some candles that sit on a table for two on the deck. The moon is full and shines brightly over the calm water. I’m so glad that I decided to wear something pretty tonight. I’m in a flirty red dress that I borrowed from Dina and, with her help, I managed to tame my hair into submission. It sits on my shoulders in smooth waves instead of wild curls shooting out from every angle. Ethan can’t seem to take his eyes off me which makes the effort worth it. He puts on some John Legend music and holds out his hand to me.
“Wow, for a football player, you’re very romantic.”
“Only for you. I’ve never done any of this before.” He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me, then we dance together until the song ends and a new one begins.
“I never want this moment to end,” I say.
“Me, neither. You feel so perfect against me, Jess.” He leans down to kiss me on the lips. It’s a slow, long kiss that tells me how much he cares.
When he pulls away, I whisper, “Is this really happening?”
Ethan smiles down at me and nods. “I wanted to make tonight one that you’ll never forget.”
“I won’t. This is all so perfect.”
"Good, because I wanted the first time I tell you I love you to be a moment you'll always remember."
My heart pounds in my rib cage. “Did you just say…”
“I love you, Jess. I love you so much it feels like my heart could burst sometimes. You’re all I think about, all day. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. I know we’re young, but I want to start a life with you.”
I watch him as he talks, he looks almost scared to be saying all of these beautiful things and I understand how he feels because I'm afraid to hear them, to trust those words. Tears fill my eyes and I lift myself onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his, then say, "I love you, too. You're everything I want, Ethan."
The way he kisses me now, with his hands on my cheeks, is exactly the way a groom should kiss his bride. It’s sweet and tender and filled with longing and passion. I want to give him everything. I want to give him myself. I kiss him back hard, pressing myself against his sculpted body, feeling his erection pressed against my stomach. Reaching down between us, I cover his bulge with my hand and run my fingers down the sides, then fumble my way to the button on his jeans and undo it, then unzip them. He moans, a deep growl that comes from his chest and I know he wants this, too.
I frantically lift his shirt over his head and toss it onto the deck, then gaze at his rippling muscles in the moonlight. He’s perfection. I kiss and lick his smooth skin, exploring every ridge, every dip and valley of his abs as I lower myself onto my knees.
I tug at his boxer briefs, freeing his enormous cock so I can see it for the first time. I want this. I lick him from the root to the tip, then swirl my tongue around the head of his cock while he stands over me watching. I've never been this girl, this wild, in-charge, sexy girl, but he brings out a side of me I didn't know was there. I plunge my mouth over his cock and suck him in as deep as I can. I only manage to get about halfway because he’s too long and too thick for my mouth and I’m a little more than scared about how he’ll feel inside my tight pussy. Pulling back, I run my tongue along his cock, then take him in deep again.
His hands go to my hair but he doesn’t try to control me, he doesn’t force me to go farther than I can, and I know I can trust him. I keep going for a long time until my mouth goes numb, until he comes in long waves, shooting hot bursts of liquid down the back of my throat. I hold him there until every last spasm is over and he pulls out. Swallowing, I lick his cock clean before he lifts me to my feet like I’m a sack of sugar.
Ethan kisses me hard on the mouth, his tongue finding mine. Our kisses are urgent and frantic like he's going off to war and this will be our one chance to be together. His hands glide down my body and he lifts my dress, skimming the backs of my thighs with his fingertips until he gets to my panties. I'm suddenly a little embarrassed because I don't have any sexy lingerie, only cotton briefs, but he doesn't seem to mind because his cock has gone rigid again so quickly.
He pulls back and tugs my dress over my head, then stares down at me in my bra and panties, smiling at what he sees. He tosses my dress, then grips my hips and then lets his hands travel up to my breasts, running his thumbs over my already hard nipples. Within seconds, my bra is on the boat deck and his mouth is over my right breast. He does the most delicious things with his tongue and teeth that I almost come. Moving over to my left breast, he does the same thing, driving me wild with each passing second.
Dropping down to his knees, he kisses his way down my tummy and then slides my panties off, leaving me exposed to him and the hot summer air. He nudges my legs apart, then licks my folds slowly, carefully, moaning as he gets his first taste of me. He lifts my left leg and positions it over his shoulder so he can get deeper with his tongue. I want him to thrust his tongue inside, but he teases me instead by sucking on my sensitive skin and licking me everywhere but where I want him to. I let out a pouty groan and buck my hips, trying to force his tongue inside my pussy but he keeps teasing me until I can't take it anymore.
I stare down at him as he works his magic, loving me with his mouth, taking his time. Finally, he brings one hand up and runs his fingers along my slit, then spreads me open and thrusts his tongue deep inside my pussy. I’m so wet already and my pussy is throbbing so hard with desire for him that I come immediately, grabbing his head and pressing myself against his face as I buck and my breath catches.
I cry out his name and feel the most wonderful pulsing of satisfaction ripple through my body.
When it's over, he pulls me down with him onto the deck and I lay on top of him, our naked bodies pressed together. I can feel his erection between my thighs and I want him inside me more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I suddenly understand the urgency that Carla gave in to. It's like nothing else in the world is as important as this. It's a deep, primal need that I can't fight. I rub myself over his thick, long cock, feeling the heat between us as we kiss and grope each other.
I bring him in just an inch and my body explodes with pleasure. Pressing myself onto his cock, I try to bring him into the hilt but he stops me. "No. We can't."
“I want to, Ethan. I want you now,” I pant, shameless in my desire for him.
“Not yet, Jess. I’m not going to let you break your promise to yourself.” He holds me still so I can’t move, I can’t bring him in any farther. I can feel the tip of his hard, smooth cock and I want it so badly I could cry out of frustration.
Ethan lifts me off him and lays me down on my back, then rolls so he’s on his side. He runs one hand lazily down my body, between my breasts and along the center of my tummy, smiling at what he sees.
I lift my head up so I can kiss him, hoping he’ll change his mind and give me what I want. Biting his bottom lip, I then thrust my tongue inside his mouth and we kiss like there’s no tomorrow. He brings his hand down between my thighs and presses his palm to me, rubbing me and sliding two fingers inside my hot, wet pussy. His pace picks up, more frantic, more urgent as he pleasures me. His stone-hard erection presses into my side and I want it but I’ll take what I can get.
Kissing his way from my lips to my earlobe to my neck, he then moves down to my breasts, sucking and nipping at my nipples, plunging his mouth over each one as he finger fucks me. I come in hard jolts, the sky turning black for a second, losing myself in the incredible pleasure he’s giving me.
When it’s over, we make-out some more. He wipes the come out from between my legs and uses it to wet his cock, then takes my hand and places it over him, covering my hand with his and showing me how he wants me to stroke him. Our mouths meet and he kisses me some more as we work together bringing him the same kind of satisfaction Ethan just brought me until finally, he comes, liquid spilling on my tummy and spraying my breasts as he calls out my name.
Once he’s done, he presses his forehead to mine. “You make me so hot, Jess. I can hardly stand to be around you without touching you.”
“Me, too. I want this, all of it,” I say, my voice coming out breathless and thick with emotion.
We lay together for a while, under the stars and the shifting moon until he gets up and gets a cloth to clean me up with. He wipes my tummy and breasts lovingly, then folds the cloth over and wipes between my legs.
“I have to go home. My mom will know I didn’t go to a movie if I’m not back soon.”
“I know. I just wish we could stay here and wake up in each other’s arms tomorrow,” he says with a deep sigh. Then he runs one finger along my cheek and says, “Someday, Jess. Someday soon we’ll wake up together in the same bed every morning and no one will be able to say a word about it.”
“God, I hope so.”
Six
Ethan - One Month Later
I lay on my back doing bench presses, the entire time my mind on Jessica. I have to leave for college soon, and there is no part of me that wants to go without her. But I can’t bring her to live in my dorm at Penn State. Hell, no one even knows we’re a couple. I wanted to bring her home to meet my family when my dad finally came to town last weekend but she refused. She doesn’t want anyone to know about us because she knows no one will approve.
She’s not wrong about that. My parents won’t want me with her. They want me with someone who was raised like I was, with money and every opportunity, someone refined and graceful. Jess may not be those things, but that’s what I love about her. She doesn’t have that sense of entitlement that most of our generation has. She knows that the only thing that matters is what’s inside a person’s heart, not the cost of their car.
Finishing my last set, I get up and wipe the sweat from my brow. The gym is quiet today, as it has been all summer. I'm one of the only people who has to keep training this time of year, but if I make it to the AFL, it'll all be worth it. Then no one can stop us from being together. We'll be set financially and we can get married and start our life.
“There he is,” my dad’s voice calls across the gym.
I turn and give him a wave, glad he’s here. “Hey, Dad. What’re you doing here?”
He strides over to me and sits down on the bench next to mine, facing me. “Your mother wanted me to check on you.”
“Why?” My Spidey senses are tingling and I know whatever he’s about to say isn’t good.
“Well, we know you’re seeing someone and you’ve got your mom really worried that you might be taking things more seriously than you should.”
I shrug and wipe my face with a towel. “Tell her not to worry.”
“Who’s the girl, Ethan?”
I drop the towel and get up to take the plates off the bar. “Who says I have a girl?”
“Drop the crap. We found the candles on the yacht.”
I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment, then sigh and turn to him. When I look at his face, he’s wearing a knowing grin. “I was nineteen once, you know.”
“Her name is Jess. She’s really smart and sweet. You’d love her. Mom would, too.”
“Is it serious?”
"I'd like it to be, but we're both smart enough to know better than to get too caught up too fast. She's got plans, and so do I."
“Good,” my dad nods. “That’s good. We didn’t put in all this effort just to have you give up on your dreams now.”
“I won’t. And to be honest, I don’t think Jess would let me. She’s a bit of a hardass.”
“Good. In that case, you should bring her by the house for dinner so we can get to know her.”
“I’ll see if she’ll come. She’s…really shy.”
He gives me a hard look, then says, “Well, ask her anyway. And make sure you take it slow, all right? No sense in getting tied down when you’ve got the whole world at your feet.”
An image of her tying me down flashes through my brain and I have to force myself not to smile. “You were my age when you met Mom.”
“That was different. People were older back then.”
“What?” I laugh. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
"Sure, it does. Everybody got married when they were twenty. Nowadays, kids are smarter. They play the field a bit, grow up before they make commitments." He stands and pats me on the shoulder. "Trust me on this. Don't let yourself miss out on a whole lot of fun that's waiting for you."
That night, Jess and I lay on a blanket in the secret park, staring up at the stars, wrapped up in each other’s arms. “My parents know about you.”
She freezes her hand that was tracing the stubble on my jaw. “Oh, how did they…”
“The found the candles on the boat.” I turn my head to look at her and see that she’s burying her face in her hand.
“Oh, God! I’m so embarrassed. Do they think we did it?”
“No. I told him we’re both too smart to rush things, but I don’t know how much they believe that.” I run my hand up and down her arm to warm her skin. “They want to meet you. They’re really nice, Jess. They’ll love you, I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. No matter how wonderful they’d think I am, they won’t want you getting involved with someone right now. Not when you’re so close to getting everything you’ve spent your life working toward.” She sighs. “Besides, I’m not exactly from the same side of the tracks as you.”
It bothers me to hear her talk like that—like she’s some trailer trash. “I hate it when you talk like that about yourself. You’re so much more than you think. You�
��re beautiful and smart and fun and you’re going places, Jess. I know it.”
“Oh, please. I pump gas for a living. I’ll probably never get out of this town.”
“Don’t say that. I’m going to get you out of here. I promise. We’re going to build a life together and you’re going to have everything you’ve ever wanted and all the stuff you never dreamed you could have.” I kiss her gently on the lips, then press my forehead to hers, hoping she knows how I feel.
"You're going to leave here in a couple of weeks and you may come back or you might meet somebody better, someone more like you. And that's okay, Ethan, because, for this entire summer, I've felt special. I felt like I mattered and, even if it's all I get, it'll be enough for me to know someone loved me."
“I do love you and nothing’s going to change that. I’m going to show you that you’re special every damn day of your life, Jessica Anderson.”
We kiss and hold each other until the air cools down and she starts to shiver a bit. The nights are getting colder now which means our time together is coming to an end. As we make our way toward her street, she tells me that she can't face the idea of meeting my parents and I agree to let it go, afraid to push her too hard and have her take off on me. She needs everything to go slow until she can learn to trust me, to trust our love. I walk her home and this time, she lets me walk her almost to her house. We stop a few doors down and she points to her home. It's a narrow, two-story clapboard house. The lawn and weeds grow wild and even in the dark, I can see it's pretty rundown. I turn her to me and give her a long hug, then whisper, "I'm going to get you out of here, Jess. I promise."
Seven
Jess - Two Weeks Later
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” I pant as he kisses my neck.
“I can’t hold back any longer, Jess.” He stops kissing me long enough to look me in the eyes, his gaze is intense—so full of emotion that it breaks my resolve. “I need to have you.”