by Adele Hart
Even though I always promised I would never do this, I can’t stop myself. He leaves tomorrow and I have to feel him inside me before he goes. I have to consummate our relationship so that when he’s so far away, he’ll remember this moment, this feeling, our connection and love for each other.
Ethan crushes my mouth with his and pushes me up against the outside wall of the boat shed. We met here at the docks because my mom is totally onto me. She knows I’ve been seeing someone and she’s already furious without knowing that he’s a richie and that he’s leaving. I block out her voice that tells me to say no and not to go looking for a prince charming that doesn’t exist. It’s different with Ethan. He’s so in love with me that he’s waited the entire summer to be with me instead of moving on to some girl who would put out.
All the things we've done won't compare to what we're about to do. We've spent weeks driving each other wild and he's taken such good care of me every day and night. But, this moment is everything. It's real and it's pure and it's completely ours.
My right leg lifts on its own accord and wraps around his waist. He bends his knees a little so that his huge bulge is rubbing me through the fabric of our jeans. And I want it. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. The fact that I shouldn’t have it makes me so much more desperate.
A cool breeze kicks up and I shiver a little. Ethan wraps his big, muscly arms around me to warm me up and I feel so small for the first time in my life. I feel feminine and beautiful when he looks at me. How could any guy who can make you feel so good be wrong for you?
Our tongues tangle together and I can taste cinnamon gum. Something about it makes me moan with desire. My head is swirling with lust and longing—lust for his well-toned, perfectly-trained body and hunger to be held, to be seen, to be truly loved for the first time.
Since he showed up in Cape Williams, my entire life has been turned upside-down. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t concentrate on anything other than Ethan. I’ve made more mistakes at the boat dock in the past five days than I have in my entire life here. But I don’t even care. I only care about being with him. Talking to him. Having him smile at me and reach out to tuck my wild, blonde hair behind my ear. Having him kiss me like he is right now.
This is so much more than a summer fling. What we have is forever and for once in my life of being a very good girl, I feel like I deserve something like this. Something wild and beautiful that will keep me warm on a cold winter night when all the tourists have gone back to their real lives and this town is left as empty as I am. He'll be back for me. I know it.
“I want you, Jess.” He leans his forehead to mine and we both pant for a second. “Not just for tonight, but forever.”
“I want you, too, Ethan. So badly it hurts.” I stare into his ice blue eyes that seem to almost glow in the moonlight.
“If we do this, there’s no turning back. I won’t be able to let you go.” His lips hover over mine while he waits for an answer.
“Good. I don’t ever want you to let go,” I whisper.
And then his mouth is on mine again, pleasure exploding inside me as my heart feels like it could burst. His hands are on my waist and he’s lifting my shirt over my head. Then his shirt is next. He takes it off while I tug at the button fly on his jeans, my hands fumbling in my hurry. When I get them open, I yank them down and free his giant, rock-hard cock to the late August air.
He pulls my bra down so he can touch my breasts, now heavy with desire. My nipples peak as a breeze hits them, then I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall, as he lowers his mouth over my left breast, teasing and nipping at the hard bud, then sucking it deep into his mouth. I fight the urge to cry out, knowing that if we got caught, I’d be in major trouble, not to mention the fact that this would all be over before it can begin.
Ethan’s words ripple through me. He won’t be able to let me go. There will be no turning back. Suddenly, I’m in such a rush to feel him inside me that I can hardly stand the wait, even though what he’s doing to my body right now feels so frigging amazing that my pleasure is now pooled between my legs.
He drops to his knees, then tugs my jeans and panties down and off, taking my flipflops with them. The cool grass pokes the bottoms of my feet as I step out of my pants and I shiver again.
Ethan pulls me down with him, then on top of him so that he's laying on the grass and I'm straddling his huge cock. I stare down at his perfection, my heart pounding out of my ribs as I allow myself a moment to really understand what we're about to do. I almost chicken out but the look he's giving me tells me to go on. I lower my face to his and we kiss some more, as he grips my hips and pulls me to him, so our bodies are fully against each other. The smooth warmth of his sculpted chest is the exact opposite of my curves.
The way his hands move over me make me wild. His touch is the one I want forever. His kiss is the one I want to feel for the rest of my life. I know it’s too much to ask that I could find the one when I’m only nineteen, but here he is and he’s telling me this is real. Maybe, for once in my life, I won’t be let down. Maybe I’ll be the lucky girl for a change. Whatever happens, I’m about to get so lucky right now that it makes me grin like a fool.
I drag my pussy over his cock, warming him between my folds as I wiggle my body until his tip is just inside where I want it. It’s so big that it stretches me but in the best way I’ve ever known.
He stops me from going farther. “Wait, Jess. I should put on a condom.”
I still my body and nod. He’s right. Even though I don’t want anything between us, I know he’s right. We can’t be reckless about this.
He sits up a bit and tugs his jeans over to him, then digs in the front pocket, retrieving a foil wrapper. Within a few seconds, he’s sheathed and ready to go.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and push down until he’s in to the hilt, his cock perfection inside me even though he’s too big and it hurts. I want it to hurt. I want to feel him tomorrow after he’s gone away. I want to remember this moment, this love. There’s nothing between us now. Just the two of us, moving together, kissing and holding each other.
Our hands are everywhere as we memorize each other’s bodies. I ride him slowly as I get used to the feeling, then I start to move faster, letting him guide me with his grip on my ass. I pull back and look down at him to make sure this is real. He smiles up at me then lifts his head so he can kiss me again. “You’re so beautiful, Jess. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before.”
His tongue is inside my mouth before I can say anything. I don’t know what I would say, anyway. My brain is a scrambled mess, pulsing with feelings that threaten to drown me. As we move together and I drench his big cock, we become one. One love that will be shared for the rest of our lives.
I can feel my orgasm coming on, but then he stops me and flips us over so he's on top of me now and I'm on the ground under him. I gasp in shock, then tilt my hips up to let him get in even deeper. He thrusts his way in even farther in long, deep, hard thrusts that lift my ass off the ground. I wrap my hand around his neck and lift my upper body up so our chests meet again. His tongue dances inside my mouth, mirroring what his cock is doing inside my tight pussy.
Our breathing becomes ragged and I know he’s close now by the way he’s moving. He’s like a man possessed. Like he’s gone away to a different world and only I can go there with him as he fucks me over and over, rubbing that sweet spot each time until I can’t take it anymore. I come, biting down on his shoulder to stop myself from making any noise. Ethan grunts and impales me with his cock as hard as I can take it, spilling himself into me in long, hot pulses.
My eyes roll back in my head and the world disappears as I almost lose consciousness for a second. Then I catch my breath again and he’s kissing me senseless as he finishes, slowing down his body’s motions and mine with it.
When it’s over, he collapses onto me and I cling to him with my legs locking behind his muscular back.
I hold him tightly with my arms tucked under his and feel his cheek against mine as we recover.
I’m terrified for a moment that he’s going to get up and walk away but when he lifts his head, he smiles down at me and says, “You’re mine, Jess. All mine.”
Tears fill my eyes and happiness mixed with relief flow through me. He got what he wanted but he still wants more. He still wants me. “I don’t want you to leave,” I whisper.
“We’ll find a way to be together, even if I have to sneak you into my dorm room at Penn State.”
I grin at the thought of hiding in his closet, then I realize that I don’t have the first clue how to make this work. My smile fades and he seems to know that I’m getting scared again.
He runs his thumb along my bottom lip, his cock still buried inside me. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll figure it out. We’re going to be back together before you know it. And it’ll be forever.” He lowers his mouth to mine and gives me a slow, sweet kiss. “Do you believe me?”
“I do.”
“Good, because I can make things happen, Jess. I can make a good life for us. You just have to trust me.”
I reach up and kiss him to show how much I trust him. Soon kissing turns into something more and we’re doing it again. By the time we’re done, the air has grown too chilly to ignore. We get up and dress, stopping to kiss as we both pull our shirts over our heads, and button up our jeans.
He leans his forehead against mine. “God, I wish we could wake up together in the morning.”
“Me too.” A rush of sadness overcomes me as I think about what the morning really will bring. It’ll bring a loneliness like I’ve never known before.
We walk hand-in-hand back to my house, slowly, stopping every few minutes to make-out. Then, he takes me around to the back door and waits while I unlock it. Before I twist the handle, I turn back to him and he takes my face in both hands.
“I’ll be home by supper time tomorrow. I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?”
I nod, searching his face for the truth. And I believe him. He will call. We will be together again soon.
“I leave for college on Tuesday. Start getting yourself ready to meet me there, okay? I can come and pick you up when I get it all sorted out. I’ll figure out a place for us to be together there.”
“Okay. I’ll come as soon as you find a place,” I whisper, my heart in my throat at how terrifying and wonderful this is.
He kisses me again. This time it’s gentle and careful, then it grows to something full of sorrow and passion and love. A light goes on inside the house and we break apart so we won’t get caught by my mom.
He holds my hand for a second longer. “I love you, Jess. I always will.”
My heart leaps as I whisper, “I love you, too.”
“What we’ve got is forever. Don’t let anyone tell you different.” He gives me another quick kiss, then he disappears into the shadows just as the kitchen door is wrenched open behind me and I stumble backwards into the house.
Time to face the music. I turn to see my mother's disapproving face. She looks me up and down and I know there's no way to hide the signs of sex that are written all over me in my messed-up hair and the whisker burn all over my face and my rumpled clothes.
“I taught you better than to go whoring with some rich boy.” She shakes her head. “You were supposed to be the good one, but somehow I’ve managed to raise two sluts.”
My protest dies in my throat as she grabs my cheeks with one hand and squeezes. “You better not get knocked-up. I will not be responsible for another mouth to feed.”
Letting me go, she turns and walks away, leaving me in an icy shock. I don’t holler after her that she’s wrong about Ethan and that he’s going to send for me soon and that we’ll get married and be together forever. Those are all the things that Carla insisted when she got pregnant with Ben. But her prince charming never called. He never came back, leaving her a sad cliché of the small-town girl who believed she could be more than she was.
But, not me. Ethan will be back for me and someday in the future, he and I will be pulling into town in a Lexus SUV with our children. And we’ll rent one of the big cottages on the shore and I’ll wear expensive sunglasses and just the right shade of lipstick while he and I snuggle on a lounge chair and watch our children play in the surf. And my mom will know I wasn’t a fool. I won’t be poor like this forever. I won’t be alone like this. I’ll be lucky and loved.
Eight
Ethan - Two Months Later
“You have reached Cape Williams marina and boat dock, we are closed for the winter and will reopen again on April first. We look forward to serving your yachting and mooring needs again soon. BEEP.”
Hanging up, I curse under my breath, glad that my new roommate isn't here to see me so upset. In the last month, I haven't been able to reach Jess even once. I've tried calling her house over and over, but her mom always seems to pick up the phone. She's as nasty as they come and she's clearly under the impression that I'm the worst thing that could ever happen to her daughter. Jess doesn't have a cell phone of her own, which is insane in this day and age. I mean I knew she was poor, but this is a whole new level of poverty that I could never imagine.
I shake my head and try her number again, hoping Jessica will answer this time. It rings four times, then, just when I’m about to hang up, I hear her sweet voice come on the line.
“Hello?”
“Thank God. Jessica. I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks.”
“Really?” she asks, sounding like she might cry.
“Yes, of course. Your mom hates me with a vengeance though. Wow.”
"I'm so sorry. I need to get out of here. She's been a tyrant lately." She sounds so desperate that I wish I could get in my car and drive right to her.
“Are you okay?” I ask, feeling suddenly panicked.
"Yeah. No. I mean, I just really miss you, and when I didn't hear from you for so long, I thought maybe you changed your mind about us." Her voice cracks.
"Never." I close my eyes and sigh, hating like hell that I have to give her such bad news the first chance we've had to talk since I left. "I've missed you so much. You have no idea."
“I think I do,” she says in a shaky voice. “You’re all I think about.”
“You, too, Jess. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten in my car and thought about just driving all the way there until I get to you.” I sigh, feeling the weight of my misery settling in on my chest again.
"How's college life?" she asks, and I know she's really asking if I have figured out a way to send for her yet.
"I'm not at Penn State anymore. I got picked up by the Cardinals last week. One of their running backs tore his knee, so he's out for the season."
“What? Are you serious?” She sounds so excited that it hurts.
“Yep. They’ve put me up in an apartment with another rookie.”
“But, what about school?”
"I don't know. This came up fast, and I jumped at it. There won't be another opportunity like this for me, but I can always go back to college when I'm an old man."
"So, what does this mean for you and me?" she asks.
I can picture her face, her eyes shut tight as she waits for an answer. I might as well just rip off the Band-Aid. “It means that we have to wait a bit longer than I hoped. The coach made it very clear that rookies can’t have girlfriends distracting them. If I try to bring you out and they catch me, I’ll be cut immediately.”
I pause and wait for her to say something, but there's only silence on the line. My heart jumps into my throat. "Listen, Jess, as far as I'm concerned nothing has changed, except that you and I will have enough cash to do whatever we want. I still want us to be together. I want to make a life with you. I just need you to be patient until I get through my first season. Once I've got a permanent contract, nothing will ever get between us again. Okay?"
I hear a sniffling sound, but still, she says noth
ing.
"Jess? I'm so sorry. I've been trying to reach you. I wanted to talk to you about it before I moved, but…"
"No, that's okay," she says, and I know she's trying to be brave. "It's incredible, Ethan. I'm so happy for you."
“Be happy for us, baby, okay? This opportunity belongs to us both.”
“Yes. I’m happy for us. Absolutely. I just need some time to get used to the whole thing. It’s…a lot to take in.”
"I know. I've known for over a week, and I still can't quite wrap my head around it."
“Yeah, no…I’m sure.” She’s got on a completely fake smile, I can just imagine it.
I sigh and lean my head on the kitchen table. “I wish I could hold you right now and make you feel better.”
“Me, too.” Her voice breaks, then I hear her take a deep breath. “But, we’ll be together again soon, I’m sure.”
“Yes, we will. You’ve got my number now on your phone, so you can call me anytime, okay? We can talk every day until we can see each other.”
“We don’t have a long-distance plan, so you’ll have to call me.”
"Okay. That's the first thing I need to do when I get paid. Send you a cell phone, so you can call me whenever you want."
“That would be really nice. Thank you.”
“It will be really nice because I’m going to do it.” My heart squeezes in my chest as I wish I could offer her more than just words. “Are you okay? I mean, have you been okay since I left?”
"Oh, yeah. I'm great. I started those correspondence massage therapy courses, so I've been busy with that. And I'm back at the diner now that the marina's closed."
I think of her waiting tables in that little skirt they make the servers wear. My fists clench with anger. I don’t want her there. I don’t want her going home to her awful mother. I want to get her out of her crappy life as soon as possible. “You won’t have to be there long. I’m going to make us rich, baby. You and I are going to live happily ever after, I promise.”