Rush

by Carsen Taite

  “It’s nothing to you if it doesn’t involve having a good time.”

  “Ouch, that’s harsh.”

  “Those were your words, not mine. You should find someone else to have a good time with. Clearly, I’m not that person.”

  Ellen bristled. “If it were so clear, you wouldn’t be here. You’re the one who asked me to go with you tonight. You’re the one who showed up to take me to the mixer. You’re the one who brought coffee to my office. If you weren’t interested in having a quote unquote good time with me, then you sure are sending the wrong signals.”

  Danny stood up. “Look, I’m sorry, I should leave. I had no business doing any of those things.”

  Ellen looked up into her eyes. Hurt, confusion, regret—she couldn’t distinguish the emotions, but none of them were happiness, pleasure. What had happened? The night had started well. She’d enjoyed meeting Danny’s family, being with Danny, and getting to see her off the job. She imagined the evening’s end way differently. A kiss at the door, a gentle tug inside. Maybe another drink, more kissing, and whatever else that might lead to. But Danny clearly had had something else in mind. She flashed back to the awkward conversation Danny had with her brother after he’d teased her a little too much about her date. She’d give anything to know what had been going on there, but bottom line, if Danny wasn’t interested, why did she keep coming back for more?

  Because she wants more. The thought hit her like a Mack truck. If she wasn’t already home, she would’ve run for the door.

  But she didn’t want to run. This was Danny, sweet, gentle, coffee bringing Danny. Danny with the nice family. Gorgeous Danny. Could they find a middle ground? She could give a little more. Surely it wouldn’t kill her to give a little more? “Don’t go.”

  “I really should.”

  “I really don’t want you to.” She patted the seat beside her. “Please? I promise, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can talk, hang out, get to know each other.” She heard her own offer, powerless to stop the tumble of words. Getting Danny to stay seemed more important than guarding her privacy. Almost. She offered up a tiny disclosure in the interest of compromise. “The stuff on the mantel is personal. The vase was a gift to my mother from the president of Richards University for charitable work she did on one of his favorite causes. The clock’s been in our family forever. My dad likes to tell some story about how it was smuggled out of Germany by relatives during World War II. I don’t know if that’s true, but we let him believe that we believe him.” She started to say more, but the intense focus of Danny’s gaze stopped her cold. She wasn’t making this stuff up, but she hadn’t meant to get caught up in sharing, especially not such personal, painful memories. Right now, all she wanted to do was reel her words back in and burrow back into the cocoon she’d made for herself since her mother had gotten sick and her father cut ties.

  “Are you trying to tell me you live with your parents? That would help explain why you have such palatial digs. And it would make me feel a little better about taking you to my tiny place someday.”

  “I’d love to see your place sometime,” Ellen said, thinking this entire conversation would be much easier if they were at Danny’s home, surrounded by mementos of Danny’s life instead of hers. “They used to live here, but they travel most of the time and they have a second home. They didn’t want to let this place go, so I agreed to move in and keep it up. Frankly, I’d rather have a tiny place. I feel lost in this much space.”

  “Grass is always greener, I guess.”

  “If I were at your place, what would I see?”

  “No crystal vases or antique clocks. I have loads of personal stuff, but most of it’s in boxes.”

  There was a story there, but Ellen could tell if she wanted to hear it, she’d have to tread lightly. “Did you move in recently?”

  Danny made a face. “About a year ago.”

  “So, either you’re slow to settle in or you have some other reason you don’t feel like unpacking those boxes.”

  “Is there a reason you’re curious about my living space?”

  “I think you got us on this subject.”

  “True, but some things are better left boxed up.”

  Amen. But as much as Ellen shared the sentiment, she wanted more. Whatever Danny had boxed up carried pain. She could relate, and she wanted to ease her suffering, or at least not contribute to it. Mostly what she wanted was inside, but Danny wasn’t going to cough up what was wrong. She’d have to guess, and she thought she had an idea. “What’s her name?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Pow. Ellen’s question slammed hard, and Danny’s first instinct was to run. From her house, from her prying questions, from her magnetic beauty. She pushed off the cushion of the couch, but Ellen’s hand on her chest stilled her retreat. She didn’t want to talk about Maria. Not here, not now. Not ever. But after badgering Ellen to share more about her personal life, she’d be a jerk not to do the same. Being a jerk would be easier.

  Ellen watched her face, and Danny wondered if she could see the parade of emotions. After a few minutes of silence, Ellen was the first to speak. “I’m sorry. Guess I got a little too personal. It’s just that I can see you’re hurt, and maybe even a little angry. If I contributed to any of that, I’m very sorry.”

  “No, no.” Danny pulled Ellen close and whispered into her hair. “It’s not you.” The words weren’t enough to push past the barrier she’d erected between them. While she contemplated whether she wanted to share more, Ellen traced her hand with delicate fingers. Light touches that left a deep impression. This woman hadn’t hurt her. She’d imposed the pain Maria had inflicted on her experience with Ellen, and it wasn’t fair. She should give this, whatever it was, a chance, past the taint of what had gone before.

  “Her name was, is, Maria. She’s a lawyer, a prosecutor. Just like me.”

  “Here in Dallas?”

  “Yes.”

  “How long did you date?”

  “Date? Funny, we didn’t really date at all. We met at the office, worked on a couple of big cases together, and suddenly we were living together. I was her first ‘true love.’ The first woman she’d ever been with. She was so excited to have discovered passion, intensity, and all that. Her excitement was intoxicating.” She didn’t try to hide the bitter edge to her voice. Anything else would be insincere.

  “She hurt you.”

  “My own fault. I had every opportunity to see the signs that she would never be satisfied with only me, but I spent two years deluding myself. I honestly believed she was the one.”

  “She cheated.”

  “Understatement. The courthouse is big in size only. Didn’t take long before I started hearing about her antics. She fooled around with anyone who would have her. I lost sleep; I started fucking up at work. When I finally got the nerve to confront her, she insisted she loved me, but really what did I expect? I was only the first woman she’d been with. Did I really think she wouldn’t want to explore the wide world of women she’d never before realized were there for the taking?”

  “What did you say?”

  “There was nothing left to say. She made it clear playing the field was way more important than the commitment we’d made. I was devastated. I wound up spending less and less time at the office to keep from facing her, facing the rumors about her. I know for a fact I was passed over for a couple of promotions during my mourning period.

  “Joe and George helped me move out. I took only what I’d brought to the relationship—didn’t want anything that represented whatever it was we’d had. Not like it meant anything anyway. A week after I moved, I found several boxes on my doorstep. Guess she didn’t want the memories either.”

  “Ouch. Do you two still work together?”

  “No, she took a job at the DA’s office in Fort Worth a few months ago. Can’t say I wasn’t glad to see her go.”

  “But the pain, that’s not gone.”

  “I thought it
was.” The last thing Danny wanted to do was scare Ellen away. Even if Ellen wasn’t looking for something serious, that didn’t mean she would leave a trail of hurt. If she was at all interested in seeing Ellen again, she needed to toughen up and test the waters. “That first night here, when you made it clear you only wanted one thing, well, I have to admit I had a tiny case of PTSD.”

  Ellen’s smile was kind and gentle. “I bet. Totally my fault. I never should have assumed late dinner was code for anything other than food. Forgive me?”

  “Nothing to forgive. Besides, it feels kind of weird to say, ‘hey, wish you hadn’t wanted to get in my pants.’”

  Ellen nodded. “I see what you mean. Should we just call it an unfortunate miscommunication and let it go?”

  Loaded question. Danny contemplated her responses. The smart thing to do would be to accept Ellen’s gracious apology, shake hands, and leave. She’d see her now and then as they worked on the case, but all these unresolved feelings, this pent up arousal would linger. She could avoid Ellen. Sarah or someone else on the team could interact with her. All she had to do was say the word to George and he would make it happen. With any luck, she wouldn’t have to see Ellen again unless or until they went to trial.

  Would not seeing Ellen again really be lucky? Wasn’t the real luck running into Ellen in the first place? Right now Ellen may only want a fling, but what if they had a chance to get to know each other? As potential date material, she had more pros than cons. She’d been great at the family dinner, interacting easily with her brothers and their wives. She’d treated her parents’ home with respect, asking Mama Soto where she’d purchased her drapes as if she intended to buy a set herself. She was beautiful, smart, and successful. And her lips, smiling, poised in thought, or about to kiss—didn’t matter, Danny wanted to be lost in them. She’d be foolish to let that kind of luck go.

  “Are you okay?”

  Danny met Ellen’s eyes. “Not quite.”

  Ellen’s eyes narrowed with concern. “Can I get you anything? You look flushed.” She placed a hand on Danny’s forehead. “Not a fever, but maybe you should lie down. I’ll get you a pillow.” Ellen started to stand, but Danny caught her arm.

  “Wait.”

  “Yes?”

  “It wasn’t an unfortunate communication.”

  “Come again?”

  “I want to see where this will go.”

  “This?”

  Danny pulled Ellen close. Without wondering if it was wise, without a clue as to where it might lead, she whispered against Ellen’s lips. “Kissing. Let’s start with some kissing.”

  Ellen’s lips parted, and this time Danny accepted the invitation, taking a moment to enjoy the first press of flesh before she moved her lips against Ellen’s. Soft, firm, tender. The light touches sent waves of burning pleasure coursing through her entire body, but the anticipation she’d experienced since the moment she’d met Ellen had reached a fever pitch and light touches weren’t going to cut it. She traced Ellen’s lips with her tongue and groaned when Ellen invited her in. Instead of being satisfied, she was hungrier now. A taste wasn’t enough. She lowered Ellen to the couch and slid down beside her. She flashed on the memory of Ellen’s cleavage that had teased her all throughout the mixer. Her preppy sweater set hid her lovely breasts from view and Danny was desperate to remedy the issue. She reached under the sweater and traced her hand up Ellen’s stomach, relishing the tiny hitches of breath her touch elicited. Slowly, gently, she traced first one nipple then the other with her fingers. Ellen responded with groans, but their lips never stopped touching.

  Why had she waited for this? Ellen’s body, her responsiveness, was amazing. Her fears, her trepidation dissolved in the heat of their passion. She’d been a fool.

  “Hey, where did you go?” Ellen whispered.

  Danny kissed the frown on Ellen’s forehead. “Nowhere. Just kicking myself for waiting so long to do that.”

  “The kissing or the touching?”

  “The everything.”

  “We haven’t done everything. Not yet, anyway.”

  “Is that an invitation?”

  “Do you really need one?”

  Danny grinned. “Not anymore.” Her fears fell away and she leaned in for another kiss. And everything.

  *

  Ellen shuddered. With every kiss, with every touch, she fell deeper and deeper into the spell Danny Soto had cast. For so long she’d managed to shy away from intimacy. She could barely remember the name of her last lover, and she definitely couldn’t remember a time when the very idea of sex had shaken her to the core.

  But this wasn’t sex. It was amazing, it was incredible, and she wanted to indulge every tingle, every sensation, but she wasn’t quite ready to call it what it was.

  “Are you okay?”

  Danny’s voice was soft, tender. Ellen opened her eyes and met Danny’s. They were dark with lust, but laced with concern. “Yes. Everything is wonderful.” She pulled Danny closer. “You are wonderful.”

  Danny leaned back and stared at her. Those eyes again. They were almost black now. “I want to kiss you again.”

  “Uh huh.” Arousal robbed her of vocabulary, and Ellen let her eyes drift shut as she waited for Danny’s lips. But instead of kissing, Danny whispered in her ear. “I want you to look at me when I kiss you.” Danny traced the edge of her ear with her tongue and Ellen groaned. “Do you think you can do that?”

  She would do anything to feel Danny’s lips on hers. Climb mountains, leap tall buildings, swim oceans. But she couldn’t. Danny’s lips and hands were driving her crazy, but her eyes? The pool of emotion reflected in her eyes was a dangerous place to wade, and Danny was asking her to dive full in. She didn’t know how to swim in the deep end, and learning this way, with this woman was too risky. She shifted in Danny’s arms and eased away. Time to stop this before one of them got hurt.

  Danny had other ideas. As she pulled away, Danny tugged her closer, “I’ve got you and I promise we don’t have to do anything you don’t want.” Danny gasped the words while nipping at her neck, her ears, her forehead, everywhere but her lips.

  “I want to do everything, but I can’t promise you anything, and I don’t think that’s what you want to hear.”

  “I want you.”

  “You say that now.” Ellen managed a smile. “You know, while you have your hand on my breast. Later, you may regret this.”

  Danny eased her hand away and waved it between them. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”

  Every practical bone in her body yelled for her to say no. Or to say she felt physical arousal, but not any depth of emotion, but that would be a lie, and she knew when Danny spoke about feelings she meant more than lust. She should stop this now. If she didn’t, one of them would get hurt, although she was no longer sure which one.

  “I promise I won’t try and move in tomorrow, talk about how many kids we’ll raise, and plan for our retirement.” Danny held her hands up. “And look, no hands on breasts.”

  “Look at you, charming me with no hands. You’re simply amazing.”

  “You say that now because you really want my hands back on your breasts.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Say the word.”

  The playful banter felt nice, but if they kept it up, they would fall back into conversation and the sexual tension between them would fade. This was the moment, the tipping point. Ellen knew what she needed to do, and she opened her mouth to say the words that would define their relationship.

  Eyes wide open, she said, “Kiss me.”

  Danny didn’t hesitate, and she groaned as the import of Ellen’s words aroused her almost as much as the feel of her lips—touching, taking, melting. She didn’t wait for a tease or an invitation this time before returning to Ellen’s breasts, taking one into each hand and kneading them, gently at first, but then increasing the pressure as Ellen pressed into her grasp. She coaxed her nipples to a fine point and shuddered at the ache between her legs,
the gathering wetness signaling her own insistent response. She had to have Ellen tonight, and she no longer cared about where that would leave them tomorrow. “I want to take off your clothes. Take you to bed.”

  Hazy eyes met hers and she knew Ellen was in too deep to argue. She didn’t wait for an answer; instead, she grasped Ellen’s hand and carefully pulled her to her feet. She paused for a second as she realized she’d only ever been in the kitchen and the living room. She had no idea where in this huge house Ellen’s bedroom was. “Point me in the right direction.”

  Ellen tugged her forward and they walked down a long hall to a staircase, up the stairs, and down another hall. Just when she thought they might never reach their destination, Ellen threw open the door to an enormous suite. Completely at odds with what she’d seen of the rest of the home’s traditional decor, the room was furnished with sleek, modern furniture, and edgy artwork hung on the walls. French doors led to an expansive second-story deck, but the most prominent feature in the room was the bed, a king-sized platform, upholstered in black leather.

  Ellen pulled her in for a kiss. “If you looked at me like you’re looking at that bed, I’ll fulfill your every wish.”

  Danny looked from the bed to Ellen. “Prepare to grant wishes.”

  “What’s your first one?”

  “For you to be naked.” She jerked her chin. “On that bed. And not under the covers.”

  A grin. “I knew it was the bed you were after.”

  Danny pulled at Ellen’s soft cotton sweater and she took the hint. She pulled it over her head and flung it to the floor. “Your turn.”

  Danny slowly unbuttoned her shirt as Ellen watched, unable to hurry as anticipation made her suddenly extremely uncoordinated. Ellen stepped to her. “I can’t wait any longer,” she whispered.

  Danny dispensed with the buttons and pulled her shirt and the T-shirt underneath over her head. “Me neither.” She reached around Ellen and unfastened her flimsy bra, letting it drop to the floor before pulling Ellen on top of her on the bed. The bed felt enormous. She patted the space beside her. “Don’t wander too far. I might not find you again.”