Rush

by Carsen Taite

  She watched as Ellen walked away, and waited until she was out of sight before engaging Vivian again. She kept her voice light, her tone even. “You were telling Marty where you put them. You were talking about the journals, weren’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  Danny struggled to keep her surprise at the frank admission from her expression. “Are they safe?”

  “Safe as buried treasure.”

  Danny followed her gaze to the stone plaque. Ellen had insisted that Vivian hadn’t brought the journals with her to Cedar Acres, but what if she had? What if when she learned of Marty Lawson’s death, Vivian had decided her secrets weren’t safe and she needed to hide the journals? What if they were right there, underneath the macabre stone plaque in this memorial garden to a woman who’d been wronged and who was likely seeking revenge on the sisters of Alpha Nu?

  *

  Ellen opened and shut the door of the mini bar several times before she finally pulled a tiny bottle of gin out and set it on the table in her room. It made her feel better just to have it close. She’d sat alone in the room for the last few hours since Sarah dropped her off. She’d dreaded the thought of being alone so much, she’d started to ask Sarah to walk her to her room, join her for a drink, but she’d thought better of it. Sarah was working and they were close to a break in the case. The last thing she needed to be doing was comforting the daughter of the woman who may have started this whole chain of events.

  Besides, Sarah wasn’t Danny.

  She turned on her phone and pulled up Danny’s number. She’d send one text. Just a few words to ask if things were going well, if they’d made progress, if anything her addled mother had had to say made any sense, helped in any way. She typed a message and deleted it several times before finally tossing the phone on the bed. Whatever she asked, whatever she said, it would be cover for what she really wanted to know.

  Those hours they’d spent together, naked, vulnerable, aroused—did they mean as much to Danny as they’d meant to her? She desperately wanted to know and she desperately wanted the answer to be yes.

  The sound of an incoming text startled her out of her reverie. I’m in the lobby. Can I come up?

  Danny. Yes. She couldn’t type the reply fast enough.

  Room #?

  3605

  Danny was on her way up. She forced down the adrenaline flowing through her veins. She’s probably here to talk about the case. Business. Try not to act like a love-struck teenager. She palmed the bottle of gin, thrust it back in the mini bar, and spent the next few moments tidying up the room. Satisfied none of her underwear was lying around, she sat on the edge of the bed waiting.

  When she heard the knock on the door, she forced herself to remain calm. Danny was here. For the first time since they’d spent the night together, they would be alone. She wouldn’t waste this opportunity to talk to her, to get her to talk, about what they’d shared, how it made them feel. Talking about feelings wasn’t her strong suit, but she needed to reach out or she was going to lose the connection they had, and she was desperate not to lose it.

  Danny alternately flashed her badge and face at the peephole and Ellen unhooked the chain and bolt and opened the door. She motioned Danny toward the chairs, but she remained standing, scrutinizing her face. Her silence was scary.

  “What is it? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

  Danny pulled her into her arms. “I should be asking you that question. Are you okay? Sarah said you didn’t say a word all the way back here. I should’ve come with you, made sure you were okay.”

  “You have work to do. I get it.”

  “Pretty sure part of my job is taking good care of my witnesses.”

  Ellen bristled at the implication that Danny was here only in a professional capacity. She’d allowed herself to hope for something more, for all the somethings Danny had acted like she wanted before she found out she’d held back evidence and that her family was deeply involved in the tragedy of her case. She pushed her way out of Danny’s arms. “Are you this affectionate with all your witnesses?”

  Danny stepped back. “I was an ass before, and I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you are okay, and to give you an update. I thought you might be worried. We found your mother’s journals and we’re headed back to the station to go through them. George assigned an officer to guard Cedar Acres, just in case. I think that covers all the bases.”

  You’re kind of being an ass now. Ellen quickly squelched the unfair thought. Danny was just doing her job. If she’d been upfront about her mother being in the target group from the beginning, Danny probably never would have pursued a date. Never kissed her. Never made love to her. Any affection she got from Danny now was residual to the connection they’d felt, and it wasn’t going anywhere. Still, it hurt to have her in the same room and know nothing more would happen between them. Her pain spurred her to ask, “If you weren’t working on this case, could you see past my faults? Could you give me another chance?”

  She watched the struggle play out on Danny’s face and wished she hadn’t asked the question. For her it was simple. If she had to do it over again, she would’ve told the truth from the beginning, no matter what the risk. But that wouldn’t have changed anything. If Danny had known her mother was a potential victim, she never would’ve asked her out, never would’ve let her emotions get in the way of her work. Ellen remembered every detail of what Danny had told her about Maria. How their breakup had affected her ability to work, her effectiveness. She wanted to be the person who stood beside her lover, but with all her baggage, she would only be in the way.

  Lover. She never should’ve tried on the word, because it fit perfectly. She’d finally found someone who’d penetrated her resolve not to feel and she’d messed it all up. She shouldn’t put Danny in the position of having to reject her. She should just walk away. “Don’t answer that.”

  “Ellen, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I like you. I like what we shared, but I get it. I really do.”

  “I have a job to do. I can’t do it if I’m distracted. I’ve already compromised…” Her voice trailed off and several seconds passed before she took a deep breath and started again. “It’s not just the stuff about your parents. It’s you. You’re a potential victim too, you know. The killer was on your doorstep. There are police down the hall, watching your room right now.”

  Anger flashed across her face and, even though Ellen knew it wasn’t directed at her, she felt the force of Danny’s emotion and asked, “Can’t you give the case to someone else? Molly or one of the many, many lawyers at the DA’s office?”

  She knew immediately this was another question she shouldn’t have asked. Why should Danny give up a chance to regain her stature at the DA’s office over her? She’d almost messed up her career over a woman before. She wasn’t likely to do it again. Besides, Ellen didn’t want to be this person, who stood in the way of her lover’s success. If she really cared about Danny, she should make letting go easy on her, but now that she found someone she really cared about and who she knew cared about her, she didn’t want easy. She wanted to see if she could handle hard. If Danny was going to walk away, it would have to be her decision. She wasn’t going to pave the way. She braced herself for Danny’s response.

  “This is my case. I need to see it through. Maybe when it’s over, we can…talk. See where things stand.”

  The pain on Danny’s face didn’t ease the sting of her words. They were over and they’d barely just begun. Fine. At least she knew where things stood. “I understand.” She didn’t, but the two-word lie was easier than the rambling truth that she’d started to fall in love with Danny, and for the first time in her life, she didn’t want to detour away from her feelings. Danny didn’t feel the same way, and it was time to cut this, whatever it was, off before she made a fool of herself. “You should go.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but it’s over
now and we both know it.”

  Danny stood still for a moment, and she looked like she had something more to say. After a few beats of silence, she walked to the door, hesitated for a moment, and then she was gone.

  All the things she’d wished she said rushed to the surface. Don’t go. Yes, I’ll wait until this case is over. I love you. Would any of those statements have kept Danny from leaving? Fear they wouldn’t had kept her silent. And alone.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Danny walked out of the hotel slightly dizzy and in pain. She had planned to go to Ellen’s room, make sure she was okay, and let her know they’d found her mother’s journals. She hadn’t expected to go through an emotional breakup scene. Her plan hadn’t been well thought out, but it had involved asking Ellen to wait until they could unravel the complexities of the situation. Her lack of careful planning meant the episode disintegrated. Ellen made it clear she wouldn’t wait, and she didn’t even want her to stick around for a meaningful good-bye.

  She trudged over to Sarah’s car. She wished she’d driven herself, but the visit to Ellen had been a quick stop on the way back to the station to scour the journals she’d managed to recover from Vivian Davenport. George had taken the small stack of leather bound books lined with scrawling about Vivian’s college days, and he and Peter were probably halfway through them already. She should be there, but she couldn’t seem to stop making poor decisions about her work when it came to Ellen.

  She slid into the front seat. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Sarah started the car and drove, and Danny sighed at the silence. Her relief at not having to rehash what had just happened was short-lived. Sarah waited a few blocks before broaching the subject. “Is she okay?”

  “The witness is fine. Maybe we can get someone from the Victim Advocate’s office over to talk to her.”

  Sarah yanked the car over to the side of the road and turned off the engine.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Danny didn’t have a clue what had gotten into Sarah.

  “Trying to figure out why you’re so stupid.”

  Danny folded her arms, refusing to engage.

  “I mean, there’s this woman back there in complete meltdown. She clearly cares about you and you obviously care about her. I’m thinking your night together wasn’t some chaste affair where you slept on the couch. Am I right?”

  Danny didn’t even look at her, instead engaged in a mental chant. Start the car and drive, start the car and drive.

  Sarah jabbed her in the arm. “I never took you for a one-night stand kind of person, especially since I offered you that when we first met and you turned me down flat. And have you looked at me? Do you even know what you missed?”

  Danny let her eyes edge over to see Sarah’s face, and she couldn’t help but let loose a grin when she saw Sarah’s broad smile. “If you’re so great, why are you single?”

  “Probably the same reason you are. You’re married to your job.”

  “If I cared about my job enough, I wouldn’t have gotten in this mess in the first place. I’m single because the women I fall for have honesty issues.” As the words left her lips, Danny realized it wasn’t fair for her to compare Maria’s wanton disregard for their commitment with the actions Ellen had taken to protect her family.

  Sarah echoed her thoughts. “She didn’t do it to hurt you.”

  “Why are you defending her?”

  “Better question is why aren’t you? A woman like that, beautiful, smart, funny—if she was into me, I think I could cut her a little slack.”

  “She’s over it. All she wanted was a fling anyway. She got that. Time to move on.” Danny didn’t feel the words, but she wanted to. What she could feel was Sarah’s eyes on her, and again she wished she’d brought her own car rather than ride the rest of the way under the intense scrutiny of her FBI profiler training.

  When they arrived at the station, George was poring through the journals and calling out names to one of the junior detectives searching the Alpha Nu database. He looked up when they arrived. “We’ve found the names of all of the victims. They all attended Richards University around the same time. Even Joyce Barr. As for the rest of the entries, they’re all over the place, but I think we found the time period we’re looking for. Mostly, she’s writing about getting ready for the new pledges and planning all the things they’re going to do with them and to them.”

  “Rush,” Danny said. “That’s what they call it.”

  “Dumb name,” he replied.

  Danny poked Sarah in the ribs. “Any response from our in-house sorority consultant?”

  Sarah shot her a drop-dead look. “It’s like a week of speed-dating. You go through a whirlwind of courtship and then you ‘rush’ to the sorority you want the most.”

  George grunted. “How sweet. Except it appears that once you rush to the one you want, you get abused into submission. Not much different from the military, promising glory and fame and then making you do a hundred push-ups in the dirt while it’s raining like a motherfucker.”

  “I’m not saying what happened to this Pledge Thirteen was okay, but I’m telling you that most of the time, the initiation involves some light hazing that doesn’t actually scar anyone for life. To some of these girls, belonging to the sorority gives them the support system they need to make it through school.”

  Danny piped in. “I didn’t belong to a sorority and I got through just fine.”

  “I bet you went into school with a group of friends already. And I’m thinking you have a ton of family support. Family that loves you, cares about you, wants you to succeed.”

  Sarah’s words hit hard as she thought about Ellen’s parents, their loveless relationship, and their apathy toward their daughter’s happiness. “Okay, maybe this Pledge Thirteen stuck around because she needed the sense of community more than she cared about the personal abuse. We need to figure out who she is and find her.” She didn’t say what they were all thinking: before she kills again. No one had yet discussed the fact that they’d been focused on a male killer this whole time, but if Pledge Thirteen was seeking revenge, they may have overlooked some obvious clues. “She’s not going to be in the database since she left before officially joining the sorority. We should each take one of the journals and see what we can find. If her name’s not in one of them, let’s go back to beating down doors. One of the women of Alpha Nu has to know who she is.”

  Danny started flipping through the pages of the volume George handed to her, hoping the name they were looking for would be in the journals. She knew how painful it would be to Ellen to have her family secrets exposed to the women she worked with and for. Even here, supposedly focused on work, it seemed she couldn’t stop caring about Ellen, her feelings and her future. She forced her mind back to the writing in front of her and read about three pages of useless gossip before being startled when Sarah cried out and waved her journal in the air.

  “You sit on a tack or something?”

  Sarah shoved the book toward her. “What’s the name of that intern that got you so worked up the other night? The one at the mixer?”

  “Perkins. Angela Perkins.”

  Sarah stabbed at a page in the journal. “Why is her name showing up in here?”

  “Give me that.” Danny ripped the journal from Sarah’s grasp and stared at the open page. The name Angela Perkins jumped off the page. She waved George and Sarah to silence and started reading. Two pages in and she knew she’d found Pledge Thirteen. She could almost hear Vivian Davenport’s laughter at the antics they’d put Angela Perkins through.

  But what did this mean? The Angela Perkins from Vivian’s college days couldn’t possibly be the same girl who was interning at Alpha Nu’s offices. Was she a relative?

  “Where are those papers I gave you about the intern?” The fact she didn’t know what was going on fueled a growing sense of panic, and she barked the question at Sarah. “And someone call whoever’s on guard at Ellen’s hotel and tell them to
make sure she doesn’t go to her office. Not until we know more.”

  She watched a uniformed cop dart from the room and assumed he was either off to warn Ellen’s guard or he just wanted to get away from the shouting crazy lady. She knew she was spinning out of control, but she also sensed the answer to their questions was within reach. When Sarah handed her the printouts from her earlier investigation of Angela Perkins the intern, she scoured the pages. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for, but she was sure the answer was right in front of her.

  George and Sarah stood behind her waiting as she flipped through the pages that contained the meager details of Angela’s life. Old car, not much money. Dad unknown. Mom deceased.

  Mom deceased. Danny ran her finger along the page. She recalled being startled that Angela’s mother was significantly older than her daughter. She looked further. Wendy A. Perkins. She shoved the papers back at Sarah, pointing at the name. “I’m willing to bet everything I own that that ‘A’ stands for Angela. Use your fancy FBI database to figure that out and we need a cause of death, right away. Also, see if young Angela has a gun registered to her.”

  “You think an intern is killing a bunch of women to avenge her mother’s rape at a sorority house over three decades ago?” George asked.

  She didn’t blame him for being skeptical. “I don’t know, but until we come up with something different, I think we should check this out.”

  He nodded. “Fair enough. I’ll get a couple of the guys to bring her in and we can talk to her.” George paused and looked at his feet before asking, “You want in when we talk to her?”

  She knew what he was really asking. He was giving her a graceful way to admit she was too close to the investigation to be in on the interview of a potential killer. Right now she was torn between looking that devious little intern in the eye and speeding as fast as she could to Ellen’s hotel to make sure she didn’t put herself in harm’s way. He was right, but she wasn’t ready to completely let go. “I’ll call Molly and have her come over, but I want to be here when you interview her. I’ll stay behind the glass.” She lowered her voice so only George and Sarah could hear. “I need you both to promise me nothing will happen to Ellen or her family.”