Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

  Chapter 60 – Electrics For Dummies

  Torrential rain began to batter the car on the way to the stadium. Henry was just parking the car and I thought Lily was going to be soaked to the skin. Knowing this was an open air stadium she was playing at, I expected the gig to be called off shortly if the rain continued.

  Using the backstage pass Lily gave me, I was actually glad that these things worked because I’d hate someone just to be allowed back to see me just because they happened to turn up and they were famous. By the time I arrived at the side of the stage, Lily was on stage and conversing with Cody between numbers.

  She looked as beautiful as ever and all I wanted to do was stride out onto the stage and take her in my arms. At that moment I said a private prayer in the hope that there was a simple explanation for the picture.

  Taking her plectrum between her teeth Lily began exchanging guitars. She slipped the strap over her head and placed the guitar onto the stand, picked up her blue Gibson and tucked her head through the strap of that.

  Shawn; their drummer’s sticks ticked the count and Lily waited patiently plectrum in hand, to play. With the first strike of the note a loud bang and smoke rose from the guitar. Simultaneously, Lily’s body arched outwards and she fell to the floor like a stone, crumbled and lifeless.

  All hell broke loose and I was running slipping and sliding on the wet stage to get to her. “Don’t touch her. Don’t touch her.” One of the technicians was shouting holding his hands out to me, as Lennon and Digs tackled me to the ground holding me back from getting to her.

  Digs had my head pinned to the floor and was saying they’re helping her, you need to calm down Alfie, you’re distracting everyone from what they need to do to help her.

  From my odd vantage point, I lay watching everything as if I was dreaming. Two medics arrived and all the cables and her guitar were moved away from Lily with some long wooden poles, and someone cut the strap of her guitar with what looked like a Stanley knife. Only when they secured the scene did they move in to help her.

  An eerie silence fell in that vast space full of people as if everyone was holding their breath waiting to learn if Lily was going to be okay. Closing my eyes and swallowing hard, I’d already decided if she didn’t survive then I wouldn’t either.

  Not sure if I passed out or not but the next thing I heard was a whining noise, when I looked over it was the charging of the defibrillator machine the medics had with them. They were exposing her chest, and I felt that was a violation for Lily, to be seen bare by so many people and I was thinking why hadn’t they used a screen around her?

  Hearing the jolt of the charge being administered to Lily made me aware of my own heart. The beats were strong and steady and I knew there was love with every beat for the girl who was fighting for her life less than ten feet away from me.

  “We’ve got her back. Okay let’s do this quickly.” Someone in a jump suit was standing at the side of Lily and they were placing her on a stretcher. A huge canula was inserted in a vein in Lily’s arm and a drip attached, which hung from a thin metal pole attached to the stretcher.

  Carrying Lily past me, I caught sight of Cody, who was staring, his eyes following her body as they carried her out.

  Digs and Shawn pulled me to my feet and Lennon slackened his grip. Both were talking to me but I couldn’t hear them, my eyes concentrated on flicking between Lennon and Cody. Both strode toward each other and hugged crying because they loved of Lily as well.

  Getting Lily to hospital was a priority and they had left already. Rick’s team arranged a helicopter to take me to the hospital and Rick travelled with me.

  Dazed and distraught, those were the two emotions I felt during that time. Feeling helpless and waiting for news, I sat staring into space. Distraught when I heard the word ‘coma,’ coming out of the mouth of the doctor.

  Squaring up to Rick, I began venting my anger,

  “You were supposed to be keeping her safe dammit.” Rick scowled at me and pushed me back.

  “It was a fucking accident, Alfie. No one could have predicted that happening.”

  One of the doctors was explaining to Lennon that the nurse was making Lily comfortable, just as he did the nurse appeared at the door and asked for Lily’s family. Everyone looked at each other and Lennon pointed and said, “Alfie’s her family.”

  Smiling like she was crushing and I was thinking dare to flirt and I’ll slap you, she told me to follow her through. Glancing at Rick he nodded,

  “I’m just gonna tag along for support for Alfie.” The nurse was too star struck to refuse and enforce the rules so we began following her down the corridor.

  Picking up where we’d left off I shook my head at Rick, “No one could have predicted that rain and the potential for electricity and water mixing? Are you fucking nuts Rick? Doesn’t your team have a brain between them? You know it’s a very basic task that the cables are checked for wear and tear. Fucking Electrics for Dummies. She better live or you’ll wish you hadn’t.”

  We walked into the room and I saw Lily since she’d been brought in. Propped up by one of those ‘V’ shaped pillows, looking at her face she looked peaceful. Perfect. She was so beautiful. Stunning, and she looked like there was nothing wrong with her, except for her right arm, which was heavily wrapped in bandages.

  Both of her arms were resting down at her side. Long lashes fanned down to her cheek bones and she was just breathing quietly laying in the bed.

  Rick continued the conversation even though Lily was in front of me. “What the hell are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be performing a gig tonight?” Rick reminded me why I was even there at all. Still staring at Lily but talking to Rick.

  “Well I would have been if someone hadn’t been looking getting cosy with my girl and having their picture all over the media this morning. What the fuck went on with you two? Tell me it’s not what it looks like but before you do, if I find out otherwise I’ll fucking destroy you.”

  Rick shook his head. “Nothing happened, dude. You know the media. All I did was feed her.” He snickered, “It’s your own fucking fault dude. You think you can mess with someone like her?”

  Staring at Rick, he was completely relaxed, no ‘tells’ that he was being anything but honest. I believed him.

  “I couldn’t deal with her being with you guys, and not me, it fucking hurt.”

  Rick shook his head. “Not that convinced, that you even love Lily as much as you say you do. Blocking her like you did.”

  “Of course I love her. She’s my fucking world, Rick.”

  Walking to the bed I dropped down in the seat beside her and took her left hand. “I love you, honey. I’m sorry, shit we’ve wasted so much time, please wake up.” Resting her hand back on the bed, I leaned in and brushed some of her hair back and caressed her cheek. As soon as I did this the heart monitor went nuts and the rhythm was way too fast, setting off the alarm.

  People came from nowhere, one running with a trolley with full of tubes, needles drug packets and it had a defibrillator just like the one they used at the venue on her. Urgent voices were checking instructions with each other, “You need to wait outside,” the nurse told me.

  Shaking my head, “I’m not leaving her,” I stated.

  “Come on, dude, you need to let them help her.” Rick was pulling me away and before I knew it Lily was completely surrounded on the bed. Struggling with him, I was refusing to get out of the room, frightened to leave her in case I never got the chance to see her alive again.

  Pacing outside the room, I can’t even begin to describe the feelings running through me, panic was threatening in my throat and I had to fight it back and stay in control. If she survived and I went to pieces I’d have been no good to her when she needed me the most.

  “Alfie’s she’s okay, you can come back in now” Those words made my heart stop beating, then my brain caught up and then it dawned on me that she was telling me she’s okay.

  Angela the nurse was
touching my forearm and smiling and I finally exhaled slowly, my chest deflating and looking around, I saw Rick moving quickly toward me with his arms outstretched. He caught me just as my legs were buckling and sat me on the cold tiling floor.

  Several days I sat watching her, learning to give her care for all the time she couldn’t do that for herself. Screening her off and washing her body, giving her oral care and brushing her hair. Pleasant tasks in normal circumstances but this definitely wasn’t normal.

  Charlie and Roslyn were devastated. Grey tinged skin, dark circles under their eyes. Tear stained faces. Neither had slept since they got the news. Roslyn cried when she caught sight of Lily and sagged against Charlie.

  Doing his best to support his wife, Charlie cuddled and caressed her head, but I could see he was barely holding himself together, because Lily was his world as well.

  Explaining to Charlie what happened meant I had to relive the event. Charlie hugged me tightly and shook my hand squeezing it and placing his other hand over the one he was shaking.

  “Get Lily home Alfie, do that, and she’s yours.” Lily’s dad was telling me in his own words that I had to protect her and bring her back safely to him. Tall order when you’re girl is in a coma.

  Cody and Drew rang morning, noon and night anxious to know if Lily was okay and was she awake yet. None of her band had seen her since it happened. They had a commitment to play with Rick’s band and they had to keep going without Lily. In three more days they would be here.

  Cody was beside himself about Lily asking all the pertinent questions that told me he’d been on googling coma on all the med sites. He’d informed himself with every aspect of the condition from bed care to neuro-receptors and unconsciousness.

  Cody was pretty unlucky with the women he liked Elle had dipped her toe in the water with him after Drew and her had a casual thing in London the first time we were there, but her and Drew had hooked up again as soon as she’d got back to London.

  Not sure when Cody fell for Lily, but if he was anything like me, it was the first time he saw her. I actually felt sorry for Cody for harbouring feelings for Lily, having to watch her and me get closer and knowing the finality of that and what it meant for him.

  Visitors were kept to a minimum, texted pictures of Lily sent daily to the guys and Elle, Holly and Mandy, and reluctantly to Rick as well. Charlie and Roslyn came every morning and brought me breakfast, sandwiches and some fresh clothing.

  Let me tell you it was hell, sitting there, watching her do nothing at all. I prayed for a smile or for her to squeeze my hand, anything. Over and over my mind played all the things we had gone through the good and the bad. The clock on the wall ticked loudly and it seemed to emphasis all the seconds hours and days that Lily was locked down in her little world.

  Calling Henry to bring me my guitar, I figured I’d talked her to death and now it was time for me to bring music into the equation. It was One Republic’s song that triggered my thoughts, the song “Come Home,” seemed to touch my soul and pull at my heart strings.

  Long hours of sitting, in between making her comfortable and I’d written a song. Way different from anything I’d written before. Nothing rock or rock ballad, it was love song meant to be sung unplugged and pure. Like Lily herself.

  {You stole my heart, right at the start that one glance, had my heart in a trance. You spun me a line, and it’s suspended in time in our song.

  If I’ve missed my chance with you, I don’t know what to do, there’s no reason to live When I only exist to be near you. Come home to me.

  From that moment on, it’s been a terrible crime, I wanted to claim you, for you to be mine. To make you my own, for me to be yours cuz you own me.

  If I’ve missed my chance with you I don’t know what to do, there’s no reason to live when I only exist to be near you. So come on home to me.}

  When I’d finished singing to her I squeezed her hand and spoke to her about how I was feeling, just like I did all the time. Anything that came into my head and some I probably wouldn’t have shared with her if I really thought she could hear me.

  “I’m a patient man, Lily. Take your time, honey. I’m gonna be right here when you wake up, and I’m gonna love you even more than I do right now. There are so many things I’ve still got to share with you. I need you to know what you mean to me, Lily, and I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to do that in the right way so far. I guess I should have just given in to my feelings in the beginning and dated you like any normal guy would have.”

  My eyes ticked over her as I held her hand and I swallowed hard, “Seeing you lying here, so fucking beautiful, but kind of lifeless is killing me. I need to see those big, beautiful, eyes of yours again. I need to hear that fucking cute giggle you have, and most of all, I need to feel your warm body snuggled up close next to mine.”

  Squeezing her hand and rubbing it with my other one, “It doesn’t matter where you’ve gone…in that little locked down world you’re in, feeling your warm hand in mine and hearing your strong heartbeat on that monitor over there, lets me know you’re very much alive. It gives me hope.”

  I sighed heavily, exhausted by the emotion of seeing her still lying doing nothing after this much time was killing me. “I’ll wait here my whole fucking life if I have to as long as there’s hope.”

  My voice cracked with emotion and I cleared my throat. “I won’t go on without you by my side, I fucking refuse to. Lily, when you finally come back with me, I’m gonna be everything you need, anything you want. Just come back to me, honey. Whenever you’re ready. I love you so much.”

  Snickering, “Fuck I’ll even buy you flowers. I might as well, cuz you already own my heart. Maybe I am the heart and flowers kind after all, I must have just been waiting on you to realize that.

  Pulling out my cell, I rang our band PA, “Get me Calla Lilies.” She had a sing-song voice and was asking me questions,

  “I don’t know how many, loads; I want this room full of flowers when Lily wakes up.”

  “And you want these today?” She asked

  No next fucking month. “Yeah, today, as soon as they can get them here.” I threw my cell on the bed and picked Lily’s hand up again and placed it in mine.

  “Damn, Lily, I’ve just admitted I’m a pussy, you better make it worth my while and wake the fuck up, girl.” Leaning over, I switched on the radio, ‘Best Thing,’ by Anthem Lights was playing softly.

  Soft knocking on the door pulled me out of my reverie, Jack stood looking ashen his mouth wide open and it was as if he couldn’t allow himself to come into the room. Walking over I flung my arm around his shoulder and coaxed him into the room and nearer the bed.

  “God, she looks so fucking frail lying there. If anything happens to her, I don’t know what I’d do. I was in Japan covering a story when I got your call. Fuck Alfie, has it been a week, already?”

  It had been five days, nineteen hours and thirty one minutes to be precise. Suddenly the monitor started beeping faster and the two tone alarm went off again.

  “Fuck Jack, stop crying, something’s happening, I don’t think she likes what you’re doing,” I told Jack, feeling panicked the memory of her arresting that first day replaying in my mind’s eye.

  Taking her hand, I squeezed it and began speaking in soft reassuring tone. My thumb was grazing the back of her soft fingers as I spoke. “Okay, honey, don’t worry. Jack’s just a bit overwhelmed at seeing you for the first time.”

  Lily gave my hand a weak squeeze, “Did you see that? Did you fucking see that? She squeezed my hand. Lily do it again, squeeze my hand sweetheart, let me know you can hear me,” I coaxed her.

  Again there was a weak squeeze as her fingertips pressed into my palm, “Sweet Jesus, thank you. Quick! Get someone, Jack. I think she’s waking up.” Jack ran out of the door to get help and the door bang closed.

  Speaking very calmly but wanting to keep her conscious I soothed her, “Take your time, honey. Come back to me when you’re ready.
I’ll be right here, whenever you want, I’m right here.” I kissed her hand, and Jack reappeared with Angela the nurse.

  “Well that’s a very good sign. She’s starting to wake up. You must have the magic touch, keep talking to her. She likes the sound of your voice. Keep it light and positive.” After she’d checked Lily’s vital signs she left again, allowing the door to bang closed.

  “Don’t over analyze it Alfie, I’ve been in her life for most of it,” Jack said.

  I couldn’t help but feel hurt that Lily had responded to Jack when I’d been jumping through every hoop I could think of to bring her back to me.

  “Yeah, kinda says a lot though, when I’ve been sitting here for a week doing all kinds of shit, trying to reach her and you’re here five minutes and her heart goes bat-shit crazy.”

  Lily squeezed my hand again when I said that, and I glanced up in time to see her eyes flutter open, but after a second of staring straight ahead then snapped closed again.

  “Did you see that? She looked straight at me. Lily? Can you hear me? Open your eyes for me, sweetheart.” She struggled but opened her eyes.

  “Hey, hi sleepy head, don’t be afraid, you’re okay. God, honey, I’ve missed you, welcome back. Don’t panic Lily, I got you. You’re in the hospital, honey, but you’re going to be just fine.”

  Jack came bounding across the room and almost grabbed her out of the bed. “Thank you, God!” He kissed her face tenderly and I wanted to growl, “Don’t you ever do this to me again,” he scowled at Lily. His face was full of concern.