Embers in the Sea

by Jennifer M. Eaton

  Flash.

  David was human now, at least on the outside. He sat on the metal table in the same room where he’d initiated the change into human form for the second time in his life. He held his gut, gasping for air.

  Nematali sneered, bearing down on him. “I told you seeing her again was a mistake. You need to find a way to sever this connection before it is too late. Both your lives depend on it.” She spoke in Erescopian, but I understood every word.

  David looked up, still holding his stomach. “I need her.”

  Nematali’s eyes narrowed. “She is human. It can never be.”

  Flash.

  David’s grip tightened around Jess as we stood at the entrance to the ship that would take him to Mars, probably for good this time. His deep need to save my people smothered the searing desire to not let go, to lose himself in this now familiar luxury of touch.

  His fingers ran aside her temple. “You will be on my mind every moment.”

  Jess smirked. “Well you better think of some of the brilliant scientist stuff now and again, too, or people are gonna be pretty peeved.”

  David flinched. I hadn’t noticed at the time. Always ready with the smart comeback, I probably ruined a special goodbye for him. What an ass I was.

  Nematali’s nose flared before she looked away. I’d had no idea that she’d told David to keep away from me. No wonder she’d looked so ticked.

  David straightened when his eyes fell on her icy gaze. He cleared his throat, kissed my temple, and walked away.

  I’d been hurt by that almost-a-kiss. But David’s mind screamed, demanded his return with every step he took. He’d wanted to hold me, kiss me, take his time. But she’d ruined that, forcing him to keep his distance.

  I’m sorry, he whispered within his mind. This isn’t how I wanted to say goodbye.

  We tumbled through a kaleidoscope, and landed in another classroom. Dozens of young Erescopian faces looked up at him. The scene hadn’t changed much since our last visit, but the glow in David’s eyes had dulled. His musculature had thinned. His posture slackened. Mars’s survival hinged on his every decision. The weight and responsibility aged him to the core. One wrong calculation …

  Flash.

  David punched a wall. “The theories are sound. I need more time,” he shouted in Erescopian.

  Sabbotaruo scowled, leaning close. “You’ve had more than enough time. The Mars project is terminated. You will redirect your efforts on warming Earth after the removal of the humans.”

  Trembling slightly, David straightened himself. “I won’t do it.”

  The larger man hissed, charging at his son. A huge hand constricted around David’s neck, throwing David against a wall and holding him there, feet dangling.

  “Let go!” I tried to punch the larger alien, but my hand went right through him. David’s eyes bulged. “Dammit, David, fight him!” But how could he? His father dwarfed both of us.

  A growl erupted from Sabbotaruo’s throat. “I have had enough of you and your empty promises. If you were not my son, I would have jettisoned you with the trash years ago.”

  David struggled as the huge man lifted him higher.

  “Make no mistake, boy. If you do not hand me Earth, I will personally hold you down while the Caretakers gut you alive. Is that understood?”

  David nodded, gasping in his father’s grip.

  Sabbotaruo snorted before releasing him. “Know that my promises are not empty. No amount of begging or screaming will award you with a quick death if you fail again.” Backing away with a final disdainful twist in his lip, Sabbotaruo disappeared into a wall.

  Sobbing, David slid to the ground.

  “I did everything right,” he whispered. “Why didn’t it rain?”

  Swirls of dark foreboding pressed in on all sides. David rocked on the floor, holding his head.

  “Hold on!” I knelt beside him. “You can do this. You can still save Earth.”

  “No,” he whispered to the floor. “I’m not good enough. I never have been.” He raised his gaze, but he seemed to look right through me. “Jess is probably better off without me. Maybe they all are.”

  I tried to punch him. “We’re not better off without you. We’re not!”

  “I can’t do it. I can’t save my people and her, too.” He pressed his temples, tears streaming from his eyes. “No matter what I do one of us ends up extinct.”

  “You figured it out! We’re going to make it rain. Don’t give up. You can’t!”

  He lifted his head. “Jess?”

  Holy crap! I moved beside him. “Yes, I’m here.”

  He seemed to scan the room, before his gaze centered on me. The pain, the agony, the deep sense of loss radiating through that gaze—

  Part of me chipped away and died, floated off into the far reaches of space. I shuddered, fighting the desire to look away.

  But I couldn’t.

  I wouldn’t.

  David needed me, maybe now more than ever.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “Nothing about me matters.” He closed his eyes.

  “That’s not true.” I grabbed for his hands and pretended to hold them even though we couldn’t touch.

  David shook his head. “A man is only the sum of his deeds, and I am the sum of nothing.” He blinked and centered on me again. “I am nothing.”

  The rainbow exploded, assaulting and burning as the colors twisted around me. I screamed, covering my face.

  “No. No. No. No. No!” I bellowed into the void.

  The pain, the loss, the weight of two planets pressed me into the looming obscurity. I struggled to breath. The pressure. Too much.

  I reached into the darkness, and gasped when a vision of my own face appeared.

  My eyes popped open, stinging in the light of our liquescent ship. I struggled to inhale.

  David knelt before me, just as I’d left him; arms extended and hands still clinging to mine. His head lolled between his shoulders as he quaked, sobbing.

  I knew he’d had a difficult life. At least I thought I knew. What he’d been through—failure after failure, loss after loss. How could anyone have endured such suffering?

  “That’s it,” he said. “That’s everything there is to see.”

  David trembled, not just outwardly, but on the inside. His soul, still laid bare before me, pulsed, reaching for me. I thought of setting him free—of releasing his hands and just staying connected. No one needed to know anyone else this well. Complete openness, it was wrong, but also so incredibly right.

  Everything that was me still radiated from within, but his energy coursed through and around me. Intermingling. His strength burned with a power, a will to survive, a need to succeed. We were so much more alike than I’d realized.

  I drew a slow breath, calling on everything he’d shown me. My heart swelled. Small holes within me filled. Where I was weak, he was strong. Was that what he meant about drawing on each other’s strength?

  I vibrated, suddenly feeling more alive than I’d ever been. Yes, David was broken, but maybe, deep down, we both were.

  At that moment, I felt more complete than I ever had, but David’s failures still consumed him. Why hadn’t I healed him as he’d healed me? There must be more—something I missed.

  I dove back inside him, searching for a speck of truth within the scrolling chaos of his thoughts. I found a spark and grabbed onto it. The tiny ember flickered, grew, and brightened in my grasp.

  It warmed. He warmed, building off the strength I held inside.

  David had a glow within him, one that had always been there. But no one had taken hold and guided him on how to keep it alight after his mother died.

  Until now.

  Until we found each other.

  Without me, he wasn’t whole. Together we succeeded, because I was a part of him. I was his missing link, his lucky charm, and the one person who believed in him no matter what.

 
; Sometimes, all you need is someone to believe in you.

  David’s tear-soaked eyes rose to meet mine. He gulped. His gaze wavered over our hands. “You can let go if you want to. I would understand.”

  I tightened my grip on his fingers. “I’m never letting go. I want this. I want you.”

  He inhaled, and the tears that had pooled in his lashes trailed down his cheeks. “B-but you’ve seen me. You know, now—I have no value. I have no accomplishments to offer you.”

  I placed a gentle kiss on the back of each of his hands, keeping a death grip on our contact. “You saved my planet twice, and you’re about to save it again. You risked your own life to save mine. You broke your people’s trust and followed your heart. I don’t care how your people rate accomplishment. You’re everything to me.”

  Still shaking, he straightened. “S-so, y-you want to stay inside me?”

  I shivered. As much as I wanted to say yes, the real answer was no. There was too much darkness. Unless …

  Squinting, I shot myself back in. I barreled through David like a ball of white radiance, smashing away any dark, constricting shapes, driving them to the farthest recesses of his existence.

  You don’t need to dwell on the past. I’m here, now. We can face anything together, we’ve proven that. Cling to our new memories. Cling to me.

  David’s energy encompassed me, swirling in a wave of sleek, unadulterated violet joy. I cried out and felt my head loll as the purple hue brightened, joining with my glow until we faded into one.

  A dark shape loomed just above our combined brilliance. I tightened my grip on David as the relentless sense of Sabbotaruo shrouded over us. I prepared to move my light between them, but David’s glow brightened, beating the dread of his father back until the shape faded into a speck in the distance. A memory—an important one, but no longer the focus of his life.

  I opened my eyes, and my gaze fell on sparkling, turquoise irises.

  David’s smile rivaled any star. “He’s held me back for years. You gave me the strength to do that.” He touched our foreheads together. “I can’t believe you still wanted me after you saw so much darkness.”

  “No biggie. You just needed a little house cleaning.”

  David laughed—a bright, tinkling sound that raised goose bumps across my skin.

  I’d experience his emotions on several occasions, but always skipping along the edge of our tether, never so full, crisp, and real. His joy seeped into me; opening places I thought had closed.

  But I couldn’t be closed again. At least not to him.

  I shuddered, realizing the vulnerability and strength in that notion. This was as close as I’d ever been to another person. And there probably wasn’t a human way to get any closer. Not that I wanted one. Nothing could compare to being inside someone. Nothing.

  He eased his hands to my waist. A mischievous grin played on the edge of his lip. “In our culture, you are supposed to consult with your parents before sharing yourself. My father is going to be very angry.”

  The heat in his stare overcame me. He wasn’t worried about his father. Not at all. His thoughts, his senses, his everything, centered on me. Nothing but me.

  My hands itched, yearning to draw him closer. Instead, I leaned toward him, tasting the warmth radiating from his mouth. “I don’t want to talk about your father anymore.”

  “Neither do I.”

  28

  His palm slid up the back of my shirt. The heat of his touch tingled, forcing my back to arch as his lips covered mine. Sweet euphoria settled into every pore, opening me up to a dull ache that blotted out all reasoning but my need for more. I combed my fingers through his hair, guiding his kisses down my throat and holding him right over the quivering, needy place near my collarbone. A slight moan escaped my lips as the heat of his tongue played cruel games with my skin, taunting as his breath ignited my core.

  I pulled my tee-shirt over my head and threw the rolled up ball of cotton to the floor.

  David’s gaze dropped right to my chest. He gaped. Hesitated.

  No. No hesitation. Not after what we just shared. I reached for him, but he backed away.

  He held up his hands. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  I reached for him again and ran my hands across his solid, rolling abs. “Just keep your shirt on and we’ll be safe, right?”

  He nodded, his gaze drifting back to my cleavage. “This might not be the best time to admit that I’m not exactly sure what to do. I mean, I read a few things, but … ”

  I propped up onto my knees and inched closer. “What do you want to do?”

  A sweet, reluctant grin crossed his face. “You know I like the kissing thing, and I’m getting fonder of the touching every day.” He trailed his fingers up my side, resting his hand just below my shoulder.

  He lingered, trembling, his gaze frozen on his hand. My sweet, shy little alien. I could sense his mind rolling as his knuckles brushed the satiny side of my bra. Should he, or shouldn’t he?

  Oh, he should. He definitely, definitely should.

  I placed a kiss beside his ear. “If you know what you like, then go with it.”

  His mouth claimed mine. His tongue glided and burned while his hands traced, stroked, and caressed, learning every inch of me. David’s touch was like fire, a needy, consuming creature delving into the depths of the unknown. Everything I ever wanted, needed, or longed for washed over me in a fluttering wave of unconscious, streaming warmth; sliding, molding, and becoming part of me.

  I stretched back on the couch, coaxing him atop me. David’s weight, his heat, ignited me all over again. His kisses trailed down my neck, down my chest, lingering for several seconds between the cups of my bra.

  Twisting, I fumbled for the straps, but David had already moved south, placing gentle, precise kisses around my navel.

  His spine twitched. A deep pressure sweltered over me, rocketing through my center until my body cried out, begging for it to stop, but not wanting it to end.

  With a guttural growl, he pulled me into a sitting position. I reached for another kiss, and he nipped my lips and tasted my tongue, drawing me deeper into him.

  How had I lived without this for so many years: alone, lost, and devoid of the intensity of true, undeniable connection? This was breath, life, everything I needed to survive.

  He lifted me with one hand, placing me on his lap without breaking the kiss. I straddled him, drawing our bodies closer, forcing two to become one. A slight whimper slipped from his lips as I smoothed my hands up his back, forcing our chests together as he ran his lips across my shoulder.

  His hands glided up my sides, his fingers slipping beneath my bra. The heat of his hands … so close.

  Dammit, who needed a bra anyway?

  I reached back to unhook the clasps and opened my eyes, ready to drink him in; but a grimace twisted David’s face, draining the heat from my skin. A haunting ache coated my soul as he tried to cover the expression with a false smile.

  “What’s wrong?”

  His gaze darted to his stomach, where twin ridges along either side of his abdomen strained his tight cotton tee-shirt.

  He winced. “I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry.”

  “Again?” I reached for his shirt, but he backed away. “Does it really hurt that bad?”

  Wrapping his arms around his abdomen, he closed his eyes. “They’re trying to break through the artificial skin. It stings.”

  “Why didn’t you stop?”

  David curled his shoulders. “You were enjoying it.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t have been enjoying it if I knew I was hurting you.”

  He puffed out a half-hearted laugh. “I thought I could get through it.” His face contorted worse than the first time. “Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe all of this was.”

  I grabbed his face, turning him toward me. “No. We’re not a mistake. None of this is wrong. It can’t be.”

  “But they were
right. We can’t ever be together the way you want.”

  “The way I want? What does that mean?”

  “No more secrets, remember? You want … this.” Still clutching his stomach with one arm, he moved his free hand between the two of us. “A human relationship.”

  “No, I don’t.” … despite the panting and moaning and all that other stuff, but I’d thought he was enjoying it, too!

  “You crave human touch.”

  “We’ve been through this already. I crave your touch.”

  He turned away. “And that’s why we can’t be together.” His fingers trailed across the alien ridges in his torso. “My touch can hurt you.”

  The demonic bumps mocked me, but I wasn’t about to give in so easily. “This didn’t happen back on the green planet. Did I do something different? Just let me know and I’ll stop.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not you. I told you, I’m getting older. My body wants to mate. It’s instinct. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to control it.”

  I nestled his cheek to my shoulder. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “How? We were born millions of miles away from each other for a reason. We were never meant to be together.” He leaned back. “We shouldn’t have done this. Nematali was right. This is a childish dream.”

  I kneaded my fingers through his hair and drew him back, pressing our foreheads together. “I don’t want to hear about numbers, and I don’t care about species. I know how I feel. This isn’t a crush. It’s real. We’ll find a way. We have to find a way.”

  “It’s too hard.”

  “Anything really worth living for is hard.”

  He took a stagnated breath. “If I ever hurt you … ”

  “Then don’t.” I ran my fingers over the ridges. A few pricked my fingers. “I want to see.”

  David shook his head. “They scare you.”

  I gritted my teeth. That must have been something else he’d seen inside me. I didn’t think I was going to like this no-secrets stuff. “Then let’s call this me embracing my fears.”