Hidden Trusts

by Jae

Rika dipped the brush into the bucket of soapy water and scrubbed the floorboards with both hands, putting all her weight into it.

  "Easy, easy." Tess paused in the doorway and laughed. "We need those boards, you know?"

  "Sorry." With some effort, Rika slowed her frantic scrubbing.

  "Are you, by any chance, in a hurry?" Tess asked.

  "No, it's just... No."

  But Tess's knowing grin told her that her employer already knew why Rika was so eager to finish her work for the day. "Amy promised she would come over and take you out riding, didn't she?"

  Rika took one hand off the brush and rubbed her cheek. It felt hot. "I'm behaving like a smitten young girl, not like a twenty-three-year-old widowed woman, aren't I?" When she thought of Amy, she felt like a smitten young girl. Butterflies swarmed in her belly whenever she daydreamed about Amy kissing her hello or holding her hand during a stroll over their meadow.

  Smiling, Tess walked over and took the brush from Rika's hands. "You're acting like a woman in love, and there's nothing wrong with that."

  Here, in the safe haven of the hotel, Rika had come to believe that. When Amy came to visit, Tess and Frankie welcomed her with open arms. They provided them with a place to meet in the hotel or gave Rika the afternoon off so she could ride out to the ranch and spend time with Amy.

  The stairs creaked, and then Frankie poked her head into the room. "There's a suitor here to call on you."

  "Who?" Rika ground her teeth together. It wasn't the first time one of Baker Prairie's bachelors had knocked on their door, but Rika didn't want to see any of them. "Send him away."

  "I'm sorry, Amy," Frankie called down the stairs. "Rika doesn't want to —"

  "Amy?" Warmth rushed through Rika's belly. She jumped to her feet, hurried past Tess, and nudged Frankie aside. "Amy, wait, I'm coming!" On the first step, she remembered that she was supposed to scrub the floor and turned back.

  "Go," Tess said. "I'll finish up here."

  Taking the stairs two at a time, Rika hurried down to the parlor and smoothed her hands over her wrinkled skirt. When she saw Amy fidgeting next to the front door, she slid to a stop and drank her in — the wind-blown hair, the glowing green eyes, and the slender hand worrying her hat.

  "You're here already," Rika said, suddenly tongue-tied.

  "Yes. Oh, here. These are for you." Amy brought her other hand out from behind her back and presented a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. "I picked them on our meadow."

  Their fingers touched when Rika took the flowers, and Rika let the touch linger for a moment, enjoying the tingles that shot through her body. Then she lifted the flowers to her nose. As she inhaled their sweet scent, she remembered how Amy had told her about Mr. Garfield picking flowers for his wife. Now she, too, had someone who loved her enough to waste an hour of daylight to pick flowers for her. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

  After a quick glance left and right, she pulled Amy into the kitchen, leaned forward, and kissed her on the lips.

  When Amy dropped her hat and wrapped both arms around her, Rika pressed closer until the scent of leather, horse, and Amy swept over her. Drowning in Amy, intoxicated, she teased the corner of Amy's mouth with her tongue.

  Their tongues slid against each other. Amy moaned and nearly bit down in surprise.

  Rika drew back and whispered a kiss against Amy's lips. "Careful." She brushed a few red locks from Amy's face and cleared her dry throat. "Did you bring Cin?"

  "Yes," Amy said, her voice so husky that Rika wanted to kiss her again. "He's waiting for you right outside."

  "Then let's go." Rika took Amy's hand and pulled her out of the kitchen and to the door. Maybe they could ride out to their meadow, and she could pick some flowers for Amy, just to show her that she loved her enough to waste an hour of daylight too.

  * * *

  When they walked toward the hotel's hitching rail, Alex Tolridge, the doctor's son, stepped down from the boardwalk.

  Amy tried to walk around him, wanting to finally be alone with Rika, but Alex approached them.

  He doffed his hat. "Amy, Miss Bruggeman."

  "Aaldenberg," Rika said. At his startled glance, she added, "Bruggeman is my late husband's name. I decided to use my maiden name from now on."

  Another lie, Amy thought. But at least this one would enable Rika to live without lying about her name for the rest of her life.

  Alex worried his hat between his hands. "Well, then, Miss Aaldenberg... I was wondering if you would do me the honor of accompanying me on a stroll around town."

  Amy's nostrils flared. She bunched her hands into fists but had to watch as Alex directed a hopeful grin at Rika. A bitter taste coated her tongue, and she wanted to spit out. Is this how it's going to be? Will I have to watch while every bachelor in town tries to court her?

  "I appreciate the kind offer, Mister..."

  "Tolridge," he supplied.

  Rika gave a nod. "Mr. Tolridge. As I said, I appreciate the offer, but I'm terribly sorry. I'm sure you realize I came west to marry Mr. Sharpe."

  "But you didn't," Alex said.

  "Because I realized that after losing my late husband, a veteran of the War, I couldn't bear to remarry." Rika held his gaze, the picture of sincerity.

  Because she is sincere, Amy realized. She can't bear to remarry, but not because she's still in love with her dead husband. She's in love with me. At the thought, her fists uncurled and the tension in her shoulders dissipated.

  "I understand." Alex settled the rumpled hat back on his head.

  When he gave a small bow and walked away, Rika called after him, "Oh, Mr. Tolridge?"

  He turned around.

  "Would you please let your bachelor friends know? It would spare them and me a lot of embarrassment if they didn't approach me with marital intentions."

  "Of course." Alex hurried away, saving the remains of his dignity.

  Rika looped her arm through Amy's, and they strolled toward the horses.

  "You're incredible," Amy said. Instead of condemning her to suffer in silence, Rika had solved the problem once and for all.

  "No, I'm not." Rika shook her head in her typical down-to-earth modesty. "I just finally learned not to settle for what I can have, but to strive for what I want."

  Amy held her breath for a moment. "And that's me?"

  Rika nodded.

  Happiness flowed through Amy like golden sunlight. "Then we both have something to strive for."

  Hamilton Horse Ranch

  Baker Prairie, Oregon

  September 19, 1868

  "THIS IS HEARTBREAKING," Rika said, raising her voice over the whinnying of the weanlings. She clutched the corral rail, then turned to Amy.

  Amy smiled, once again touched by Rika's compassion. The urge to stroke Rika's cheek made her fingers itch, but she curled them into fists. With the ranch hands riding around or sitting on the corral rails, they weren't free to touch each other. "The foals will be fine. They're old enough to be separated from their mothers." She slung one arm around Rika's shoulder, careful to make it appear like the casual gesture of a friend, and pulled her closer, comforting her with her warmth. "See how big Lucky Star is getting?"

  They turned and watched the black filly galloping around the corral in search of her mother.

  "Your father won't sell her, will he?" Rika asked, switching to male pronouns since the ranch hands and a few neighbors were within hearing distance.

  "Oh, no." Amy wanted to lean closer and inhale the scent of sun-warmed grass on Rika's skin, but she held herself back. "Not when Lucky has been such a good-luck charm for me."

  Someone cleared his throat behind them.

  Amy let go of Rika and turned. "Hello, Phin."

  "Hi, Amy. Great roundup." He looked from Amy to Rika. "Hello, Hendrika." His tone was friendly, as if Rika were just an acquaintance and hadn't once been his betrothed.

  Is he really not pining away over Rika? Amy wondered. If she ever lost Rika, she knew she wouldn't be
fine with it. A few times today, while they had worked to round up the horses and separate the weanlings from their mothers, Amy had felt Phin watch her and Rika.

  Did he suspect that they were more than friends? But if he did, surely he would be more upset, wouldn't he?

  "Hello, Phin," Rika said. "How nice of you to come over and help with the roundup. How is it going with your ranch?"

  "Just fine." White teeth flashed in his tanned face when he gave them an easy grin. "If Luke and the neighbors come over to help with the roof, I should be able to finish the house before winter."

  "I can help too if you want," Amy said. She rarely saw him since he had started working his own land. Sometimes, she wondered if he was avoiding her.

  But his blue eyes looked at her with the same friendship as ever. "Sure." He turned to Rika. "I hear you're hiring on as a housekeeper for the ranch?"

  Amy stiffened. Would he see it as a betrayal, now that Rika had refused to marry him?

  "Yes," Rika said with a casualness that Amy knew was forced. "Someone needs to run the household now that Nattie will be leaving for New York, and we all know Amy would rather spend her time out on the range than in the kitchen."

  It was the truth — but not the whole truth, of course.

  Phin nodded. "Listen, Amy, do you want to keep Nugget's foal, or will your father auction him off?"

  Amy grinned, glad that he didn't question Rika's moving to the ranch. "You've got your eye on him, don't you?"

  "Yeah. He'll make a fine stallion one day."

  "I'm sure Papa could be talked into selling him," Amy said. "Go on over and talk to him."

  They watched Phin walk away.

  "Do you think he suspects?" Amy asked. She looked down to where she was digging a hole in the ground with the tip of her boot.

  "I'm not sure." Rika tugged at Amy's chaps until she stopped digging. "Do you think it would be better to wait for a while longer before I move to the ranch?"

  Part of Amy, the part that had hidden her feelings for years, was scared. She wanted to be cautious and say yes. But what she wanted even more was to have Rika with her, to talk to her at breakfast every morning and kiss her goodnight every night. In a few months, winter would arrive and then she couldn't take Rika for a picnic on their remote meadow anymore. She wanted more than just a few stolen hours of kissing and talking in Rika's room in the hotel. "No," she said. "I want you here, with me."

  "Just two more weeks until Nattie leaves," Rika said. It sounded like a promise — and like an eternity.

  * * *

  Darkness was falling when the neighbors directed their horses homeward and the ranch hands retreated to the bunkhouse.

  Amy reached for her hat. "I'm gonna show Rika the cabin real quick and then take her home," she said before anyone else could offer to escort Rika. She wanted to cherish every minute with her.

  "It's getting late," Mama said from the kitchen sink. "Why don't you stay in the cabin tonight, Hendrika, and ride to town with us tomorrow?"

  Rika looked at Amy. The same longing Amy felt glittered in Rika's eyes. Still, she hesitated. "I'd love to, but... won't Tess and Frankie worry?"

  "They know you're with us, safe and sound," Luke said as she stacked the dried plates back in the cupboard. "If you're back before they serve breakfast to the guests, they won't worry."

  Amy sent her parents grateful glances. She grabbed Rika's hand and pulled. "Come on." This was her chance to spend more time with Rika.

  "I'll need to borrow one of your nightshirts," Rika said.

  The door fell closed behind them.

  "No," Amy said. "You don't."

  Rika's fingers flexed. "Amy Hamilton!" She tried to sound indignant but couldn't stop a giggle.

  "What? No, no. That's not what I meant." With her free hand, Amy rubbed her flushed face. "Although..."

  They stared at each other, and Amy's breath caught. The thought of seeing Rika naked, of touching her skin... She didn't want to wait two weeks to promise herself to Rika.

  Under the cover of darkness, Rika trailed her fingers up and down Amy's arm. It sent shivers along Amy's skin.

  Amy pulled Rika to a stop in front of the cabin. "Close your eyes," she whispered.

  "Why?"

  "Just trust me."

  "I do." Rika squeezed her hand. "They're closed."

  Reluctantly, Amy slipped her hand from Rika's, opened the door, and lit a kerosene lamp. She wrapped one arm around Rika and led her into the cabin. "Open your eyes now."

  Rika's eyes opened and then widened as she took in the cabin.

  Amy had worked hard all week to get the cabin ready for Rika. Gone were the saddle blankets and the harness pieces, and Papa had helped her to finally install the wood floor. Instead of bridles and rope halters, colorful drawings covered the walls. A bunch of wildflowers on the table sent a sweet scent across the room. In the bedroom, new straw filled the mattress, and a soft quilt covered the bed.

  "You... you did all this? For me?"

  "Yes." Amy stared into her eyes, trying to figure out what Rika was thinking. Had she overwhelmed her? "I wanted you... us to have a home. Do you like it?"

  After twirling and again taking in the cabin, Rika nodded. "I don't know what to say." Her eyes were damp, and when she pointed at one of the drawings, her finger shook. "Is this our meadow?"

  "Yes. It's a gift from Nattie."

  "And this?" Rika pointed to the horse figurines. "These are yours, aren't they?"

  Amy nodded, trying to keep in an ecstatic grin. "I want to keep them where I can see them every day."

  "Does that mean...?"

  "I want us to live here, together." Amy threw a tentative glance at Rika. "If it is what you want too."

  Rika rushed over and threw her arms around Amy. "Of course I do. This is a dream come true. You and your family... you are so wonderful." Her voice was choked as if she was close to tears.

  Amy pulled her closer. "I want them to be your family too... if you want." Should I...? She gave herself a mental kick. Do it. Now. Her stomach felt queasy, and a ball of hope and fear was lodged in her throat, but she forced herself to move. With fear-damp hands, she reached into a trunk and pulled out a small leather pouch she'd hidden there earlier in the week.

  "Another gift?" Rika asked when Amy handed her the pouch. She glanced up, regret in her eyes. "But I don't have anything for you."

  Amy reached for Rika's hand and stroked it with her thumbs. She pressed a kiss to the inside of Rika's wrist, then pulled her closer until their lips touched. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she sighed into the kiss.

  Both were breathless when they pulled back.

  "You are my gift," Amy whispered.

  When Rika pulled open the drawstring, Amy sank onto the trunk, her legs too unsteady to hold her up any longer.

  Rika shook the contents of the pouch into her palm.

  In the light of the kerosene lamp, a gold ring glinted.

  "Amy?" Rika knelt next to Amy as if her legs had given out too. "What does that mean? How did you get this?"

  "Don't worry. Papa got it for me. She told the goldsmith it's for Mama."

  "But you can't afford it."

  Amy frowned. Didn't Rika want the ring? "Papa and I worked with two of the goldsmith's horses every day for the last month to trade for the ring."

  "So that's why you were always late picking me up?"

  Since her mouth was too dry to answer, Amy just nodded. Her gaze flitted back and forth between Rika's face and her palm, which still cradled the ring. She had prepared a romantic speech and learned it by heart, but now that the moment was there, she couldn't remember a word of it. "I know you came west to marry and to start a family. I can't give you that, but if you'll have me, I can promise to love, honor, and cherish you for as long as I live. I know it's not much, but —"

  Rika's lips against hers stopped Amy's rambling. When the kiss ended, Rika touched Amy's cheek and looked into her eyes. "It's everything. When I came here,
I didn't know what I was looking for. Not really. I thought I was searching for a means to survive and for a secure future. What I found is so much better."

  "What?" Amy asked and held her breath.

  "A home," Rika whispered. "Love."

  "Does that mean...?"

  The dazzling gap-toothed grin Amy loved so much appeared on Rika's lips as she slid the ring onto her finger. "Yes. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you forever too."