by Lucy Gage
Jenna washed his hair and used the cleanser Reggie gave him on his face. Then she soaped his skin and washed him, every inch. Anyone walking in the room would see it as sexual. She touched him in places that were inappropriate for your friends or your boss unless you were their lover.
Everything seemed to be going as expected when Rob backed her into the shower wall, kissed her passionately and caressed her breast. For a moment, she forgot herself. Then she realized where she was and what was happening. She pushed him away gently.
“Rob, stop. You don’t want this. I don’t want this. I love Liam, remember? We’re just friends. We don’t do this kind of thing anymore. I know you’re hurting and maybe you’re a little confused right now. I’m Jenna. I’m not Emily.”
He began to cry in earnest again and he put his arms around her as he sobbed on her shoulder. “She’s gone, Jen. She’s gone.”
“Shhh. I know, honey. I know. We can talk about it later. Let’s get out of the shower and get you to bed. Come on,” she said as she shut off the water and grabbed a towel.
Towels hung, she took his hand and led him to the bedroom. She put on one of Rob’s tshirts and a pair of his boxers because she didn’t have any pajamas with her, as she’d always slept naked with Liam. Then she put boxers on him and sat him on the bed so she could brush his hair. She turned out the lights and got him to climb under the covers. Then she crawled in beside him and put his head to her breast.
“I’m going to stay with you all night, okay?”
“Okay,” he croaked. “Will Liam be mad?”
“Don’t worry about Liam, honey. It’s just you and me here. I’ll take care of you.”
“Thank you, Jen. I love you.”
“I know, honey. I love you, too.” He cried softly for a little longer and then he finally drifted off to sleep, exhausted.
**********
Sometime in the middle of the night, Rob had curled around her. Jenna woke up in his arms at dawn and his hand was on her breast. She tried to forget the last time she’d been in this position, else the flood of memories might overwhelm her.
Exhausted and asleep, Rob must think she felt like Emily – they had similar bust sizes and frames. Rob sighed and snaked his hand between her thighs, whispering, “I had an awful dream.”
Before things got out of hand and her body decided she liked him touching her again, Jenna faced him, kissed him sweetly.
“Rob,” she said quietly.
His eyes popped open. “Jen? Am I dreaming?” he croaked.
“Do you have dreams about waking up in bed with me?”
“Not since you and Liam have been together. Why am I in bed with you? Where is Emily?”
She touched his cheek. “Honey, did you take your anxiety meds with alcohol last night?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Rob, Emily is gone. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t want to make you talk about it last night. You were too upset. Do you remember anything?”
“Not really. Things are fuzzy right now. I’m not dreaming?”
“No, honey. You’re not. Why don’t we go back to sleep for a little while and we can talk when we wake up, okay?”
“Okay.”
She pulled him to her chest and held him as he drifted back to sleep. Once she knew he was asleep, she extracted herself and brought her phone down the hall to Rob’s office. She shut the door quietly, took a deep breath, and dialed.
“Jenna?” Amy said. “Are you with Robbie?”
“Yeah. It’s bad, Amy. It’s Lola times ten. I had to shower and sleep with him again. He thought I was Emily when he woke up a few minutes ago and seemed disoriented. I asked him if he took his meds with booze, and he said he couldn’t remember, which means he did.”
“Can you stay with him for a little while? Even when Rick arrives, he’ll need help at first. You know he won’t let his brother shower or sleep with him any more than he would last time.”
“I know. I figured as much. I’ll pack up the stuff I need at my apartment and move into the house for a while.”
“Okay. Meanwhile, I’m sure there will be a lot to deal with this morning. He won’t make a formal statement. You’ll have your work cut out for you.”
Jenna sighed. “I know. It’s a good thing I love him.”
Amy huffed a small laugh. “Can you explain to me why you two didn’t end up together?”
“You know why. No matter how much we love each other, or how great the sex is, we’d never have fallen in love. There isn’t a romantic spark between us. He found that with her.”
“I know.”
“Do you think we can fix this, get them back together? I’m not sure he’ll get over this one if we don’t.”
“Jesus, I hope so. She’s stubborn. It won’t happen overnight.”
“I’m sure it won’t. Did you hear what actually happened?”
“Liam talked to Rick late last night. Robbie asked him to follow Emily to Maine. It was Rachel.”
“Oh, shit. Emily said that Rachel had been trying to get in her head. I warned her to watch her back. What did Rachel do?”
“Liam said Rachel kissed Rob and Emily saw it. You and I both know he wasn’t kissing her back.”
“No. He’d never go back to that bitch.”
“Exactly. But Emily doesn’t know that. Robbie didn’t tell her what Rachel did to him and Liam.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Liam said he didn’t see how telling her would help if Robbie hadn’t already told her.”
“Of course it would’ve helped! Maybe she’d have heard him out! So, she thinks what? That he wanted Rachel back?”
“Worse. She thinks it was all a big, manipulative PR ploy, with Robbie the worst offender.”
“What? Why the hell would she think that? To what end?”
“Apparently so he could win the Oscar this time.”
“Oh, my God. You can’t be serious.”
“Unfortunately, yes. Do what you can to help him through it.”
“And the rest?”
“We have to hope she comes to her senses or that he’ll make it through this either way.”
“I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Is this going to screw up things with Liam? He wasn’t in the picture last time.”
“I hope not. He loves Rob almost as much as I do. But I have to come clean about it all at some point.”
“He doesn’t know?”
“That Rob and I had an affair? No. We agreed to keep it to ourselves. Honestly, if Lola hadn’t happened, if I didn’t have to explain things to you and Rick, I’d never have said anything to anyone. He’s one of my very best friends and I’d do anything for him. Sometimes, that means things like this. I’ll call you later.”
**********
This time around, things were far worse than they had been with Lola. Jenna understood Rob’s need to touch and be touched, to connect with someone, but she couldn’t be that person for him anymore. She had to find another way to help him through it. This time, making love to him for three weeks straight wasn’t going to cut it, even if she was inclined to do that. And as much as she’d always loved sex with Rob, her heart belonged to Liam now.
The first few days after Emily left were torture. His therapist suggested Rob skip the meds because he needed to function for awards season and there was no indication that they would truly help. He was depressed, not stressed or anxious. Keeping loved ones nearby and talking through it were the best options. Meds would be a last resort because Rob hated to feel medicated.
Rick ran with him every morning, even on the mornings when Brian took the overnight shift. Jenna helped him shower for a couple days, slept next to him in the evenings, and even let him hold her close. She moved into the house for the short-term and she slept in his bed even after Amy and Anja started taking turns for the awards shows.
If anyone thought it strange, no one said a thing about it.
Meanwhile, she s
till hadn’t heard from Liam. That first night, she understood how hard it might have been for him to call her, to even think much about her. After that, there wasn’t an excuse.
Jenna was pissed.
When a week had passed, she started feeling sad about it. Rob spoke to Liam every day, but if her boyfriend asked how she was doing, her boss never said so. Even if he didn’t know that she was sleeping next to Rob, Liam was aware of their daily calls.
Jenna was so distracted with everything in Rob’s life that she didn’t think too hard about her own. Until one day, when she went to take her pill, she realized that she should have already started a period because she was into her placebo week. Not once, even before the pill – not in all the time that she had been sleeping with Rob without using condoms – had she missed or been late.
She drove all the way back to L.A. and went to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. Not wanting to leave it at Rob’s house in case someone got the wrong idea, she performed the test at her apartment. As she sat on the side of her tub, waiting for the test to complete, she thought about that last night she’d been with Liam, when the condom had broken.
All those weeks of sleeping with Rob numerous times a day and never getting pregnant, but she had one condom break with Liam and voilà? The test was a formality. Jenna knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was pregnant. When the test showed two lines to indicate she was right, all she could do was cry.
Emily better get her act in gear soon. Rob needed to recover and Liam’s presence was required in L.A. There was no way she could tell Liam over the phone that he was going to be a father.
Chapter 16
Malibu, California, five months ago…
Jenna had moved back to her apartment right after she found out about the baby. She was afraid she’d be puking her guts out every morning and wasn’t sure how she’d explain that to Rob.
With Liam in Maine covertly watching Emily, and the Deacons worried about Rob, Rick was with his brother all the time these days. He would’ve been in L.A. for the awards shows, anyway, but there was a lot of press and other stuff happening, and Rick usually went home for that. Jenna wasn’t surprised to see him when she opened the door.
“Hi, Jen. What are you doing here? Rob doesn’t have you on the schedule.”
Jenna smiled to herself. Rick knew Rob’s schedule inside and out. She had always appreciated his meticulous attention to detail.
“Just thought I’d stop by and see how he’s doing.”
“He could probably use a friend right now. I think he misses having Liam around to lean on.”
“How is Liam doing?”
“He’s hanging in there. I’m sure it’s pretty lonely. I asked Rob if we could rotate him out, but both he and Liam said no. You want me to go get Rob for you?”
“He’s in his room?” Rick nodded. “I’ll just go down there.” He gestured for her to go ahead.
She knocked lightly on the door. Rob said to come in and when she walked into the sitting room, he was lounging on the chaise in his boxers, reading a script. He sat up and smiled at her.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
She sat on the chaise beside him. “How are you doing?”
“Surviving. I’ve got therapy later. What about you? How are you doing? This is an unexpected visit. Is there some disaster on the horizon that you didn’t want to break to me over the phone?”
Oh, if he only knew.
Jenna shook her head and reached for him. He didn’t hesitate, he just pulled her into his arms for a hug. They held each other for a couple minutes, and Jenna felt heat build, being close to him, with her body pressed against his bare chest. She leaned back a little and gave him a small smile. He smiled in return.
She thought about their brief affair, how hot and steamy it had been. Suddenly, she wanted – needed – to feel something other than scared and lonely. A brief moment of lust passed between them, and she took that as a sign that he wanted it, too.
So she kissed him.
He kissed her back for a few moments, and then it was like he realized what he was doing, as if he’d been in a fog and then shook himself free. He pulled away abruptly.
“Jenna, what are you doing? That’s never going to happen again and you know it. Just because Emily left, it doesn’t mean I don’t still love her. And I thought you loved Liam?” Jenna started to cry. Rob pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
She sniffed, took a deep breath – no point in sugarcoating it.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Are you sure?” She nodded. “What’s going on? I know you weren’t trying to get me to sleep with you so you can pass this off as my baby. You’re not that kind of girl.”
“I needed to feel something other than terrified. I’m sorry.”
Rob looked concerned. “That first night, when I was really out of it, we didn’t have sex without condoms again, did we?”
“No! We didn’t. I swear. This isn’t your baby. I’m sorry. I know you still love Emily. I guess this probably wasn’t the best way to tell you that I’ll need time off in seven months, huh?”
“Seven months? So you got pregnant in January.”
“Yeah.”
“Does that mean…”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” She wasn’t about to tell Rob before she told Liam. One secret between the two of them was more than enough for a lifetime.
“Okay. You know I’ll be here for you. Whatever you need, tell me. Except sex. I’m not cheating on Emily.”
“Still hoping you’ll find your way back together?”
“Every second of every day.”
“Why don’t you call her?”
“She wants nothing to do with me. Said she didn’t love me.”
“And you believed her?”
Rob looked down. “No,” he said quietly.
“Then put on your big boy undies and call her.”
He shook his head and sighed. “You planning to tell the baby’s father he’s going to be a parent?”
She got the point. The right thing to do wasn’t always the easy thing. Jenna wondered if he’d guessed who the father was, given his reaction when she said she got pregnant in January.
“At some point, maybe.”
“He deserves to know, no matter who he is.” But especially if it’s Liam, was the unspoken word of advice.
Jenna sighed. “I know.” Rob hugged her for a while. He was right. Liam deserved to know. But how could she tell him over the phone? And what if he didn’t want her anymore?
**********
Los Angeles, California, one month ago…
When she still hadn’t heard from Liam after a few months, Jenna became discouraged. Reggie saw him in New York in May and said that he was still in love with Jenna, which was hard to believe. Jenna had given him at least two very good reasons to contact her in the past, and he’d never bothered. What else was she supposed to do? The ball was in his court, and he wasn’t playing.
Not anymore. Not with her.
One early August morning, she ran the algorithm for Emily and a hit popped up about an engagement between Emily and her ex, Josh Ricker. She looked at the photo and debated scrubbing it, since it could send Rob into a tailspin. But the photo looked…off. She hacked Emily’s Facebook profile for signs that she’d gone back to her ex, and found a picture of Emily’s sister that looked an awful lot like the girl in the engagement photo.
So she called the photographer – one of the few decent ones – and he told her that he’d thought it was Emily. When he’d realized it wasn’t, his editor ran the story anyway. Jenna confirmed that it was Emily’s sister in the photo.
The guy told her that since they’d confirmed it was the sister and the ex, his boss would want to run a betrayal piece. She asked him to give it a few days, and he promised to wait an extra day before they ran the story if she gave him an exclusive. Jenna refused to go on the record for anything, but hinted that he’d find t
he evidence illustrating it was Emily’s sister if he looked. She thanked him for giving her the extra day to sort out the mess and then she called Rob.
“Hey gorgeous,” he said, a smile in his voice.
These days, he was so much better. It was such a relief.
“When do I get to see you so I can snuggle that belly?”
“Soon, honey. I promise.”
Rob desperately wanted kids, and she’d debated throwing all their history at him, saying that she’d lied about the night Emily left. He’d have married her. They’d have had a good life together and they did love each other.
But she couldn’t do it. He still loved Emily as much as she loved Liam. Jenna had a sliver of hope that Liam would return to her and they’d be able to make a family together.
And this might be the break she needed.
“What’s up? Do we have a problem in the wings?”
“Funny thing, that…” She told him about the blurb, photo and her discussion with the photographer. “He said it was secluded. I’d guess that they haven’t told anyone about their engagement. Emily didn’t say her sister was seeing her ex, did she?”
Jenna could hear the distress in his voice. “No, and Liam hasn’t mentioned that either. What should I do?”
“Call her. See if she knows. Her sister’s wedding is soon, right? I bet they’ll announce the engagement then.”
“Shit. Yes. Tomorrow. And I know her, she won’t take a date to the damn thing to spare that jackass’ feelings. Let me call her and I’ll call you back.” Jenna agreed. A few minutes later, Sexy Back played.
“Any luck?”
“She’s not answering. I can’t let her go through this alone.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Do me a favor, find out what flights are available and then book me the one that gets me out there fastest. Her sister is getting married in Bar Harbor. And I’ll probably need a car. I’d ask Liam to come get me at the airport, but if we’re this close to a media circus about to explode, he needs to stay with her.”