He chuckled. “I don’t mind. Wasn’t particularly loving the direction our conversation was headed, anyway.”
“You didn’t look thrilled about her suggestion for dinner on Thursday.”
“I’m not.”
“Wanna tell me why?”
When he didn’t respond right away, she took it as a no. But then he said, “It’s just too soon.”
“What’s too soon?”
“For Willow to try to put us all back together. To act like it can go back to the way it used to be.”
“Can’t it? You said it yourself, Willow is happy. Regan loves her.”
“I’m happy for them. But he lied to me, he broke my trust, and that’s between him and me. It has nothing to do with whether or not he’s good for Willow.”
“I guess I can understand that.”
Kyle pulled into the parking lot and put the car in gear before turning toward her. “Do you? Because no one else seems to.”
“When you explain it like that it makes sense. So, are you going to cancel with them?”
“No. I’ll look like an asshole,” he grumbled.
She held his stare and tried to keep a straight face while making an attempt at levity. “I’m sure that’s never happened before.”
His grunt sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. “You are a funny one.”
She couldn’t hold it in any longer and laughed. “I thought so.”
“If you don’t get out of here, you’re going to be late.”
She glanced at the clock on the dash—7:59. “Shit. I am late.” Dr. Hendricks wanted her there fifteen minutes before they opened so she could get the coffee started and have his schedule printed out for the day. Of course, he could have just looked at it on the computer like Vi used to, but he was old and he had his quirks. Pen leaned across the console and gave him a quick kiss before scrambling out of the car.
“I’ll pick you up at five,” he called as she hustled up to the building. She unlocked the first set of doors, then turned to wave, giving him the okay to leave.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
They say time flies when you’re having fun. And that was the truth. It was a good thing she enjoyed Kyle’s company, because these days, he rarely let her out of his sight—or his bed, hence that having fun part.
Kyle was taking her to work and picking her up, which she didn’t mind as much as she thought she would. Honestly, what woman wouldn’t want to be his center of attention? They’d finally gotten some good news the other day. Nikko had located Violet in New York and she was safe. Whatever problems had torn them apart were apparently resolved. Vi was coming home.
Dr. Hendricks was thrilled by the news. His patient load was overwhelming and he’d been more than happy to give Vi her job back. Pen had already begun unpacking her office.
On a good day, she could almost forget the circumstances that had brought her and Kyle together. She could pretend they were just like every other normal, happy couple. And today was a good day. There were no threatening messages, no flat tires.
Kyle had picked her up from the office, and after her training session at the gym, they’d gone to dinner. After coming home and binge-watching a few episodes of Gilmore Girls while munching popcorn—with lots of butter and salt, he’d taken her to bed. And for this brief moment in time, life was good.
“I don’t know why you bother to put that on when you know I’m just going to take it right off you.”
She’d started sleeping in Kyle’s t-shirts, preferring the feel of it to her nightie. Pen closed the dresser drawer and came over to the bed. “I like them. They smell like you.”
He shucked his shirt and stepped out of his shorts, her wandering gaze automatically dropping. Already hard for her. Snagging her wrist, he pulled her into his arms and dipped his head. “I smell like me,” he growled near her ear and nipped the lobe. His fingertips grazed her bare thighs as he caught the hem of his shirt and dragged it up and over her head.
“But isn’t unwrapping the package part of the fun?” she teased.
“Mmm,” he agreed, taking her breast into his mouth and sucking deep.
She gasped at the electric sensation arrowing between her legs, her muscles contracting as that familiar ache bloomed inside her. Her nipples were in a constant state of sensitivity. Kyle was an attentive and, at times, aggressive lover, leaving no part of her unexplored. She was so in-tuned to his touch, her body was beginning to crave it like a drug. Little by little, night after night, Kyle was replacing the bad memories with new ones. He was drowning out the pain with pleasure.
“You have a good point.” He nipped the underside of her breast and then licked away the sting before dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers in the lace of her panties and slowly dragged them down her legs. Grasping her calf, he lifted it, planting her foot on his shoulder. She went off balance and her hand shot out to brace against the wall. His hands slowly slid up the back of her thighs, cupping her ass as he swiped his tongue through her sensitive folds. A satisfied groan rumbled deep in his chest. Lifting his head, he met her gaze. “I do love unwrapping the package…”
He licked her glistening arousal from his bottom lip then dipped his head again. Her knee began to shake. Kyle gripped her hip to steady her, and in a feat that showcased his speed and skill as a fighter, he had her on the bed and sprawled out beneath him before she realized they’d even moved.
There was an edge of aggression in his touch tonight, a hint of desperation in the way he kissed her that was both thrilling and a little unsettling. She trusted him, knew he’d never hurt her, but she sensed tension in him, frustration…and he was looking for an outlet.
“You seem to have some energy to burn. Maybe we should be sparring instead of fucking,” she teased.
He lifted his head and met her eyes, a wicked light dancing in them. “Maybe we should do both.”
Maybe they should… She gave him a playful grin and then shoved him with the foot still braced against his shoulder. She sent him stumbling back and rolled onto her stomach, scrambling for the other side of the bed, but before she could reach it, he was on her again, his weight forcing her down, pinning her to the mattress. “Never give up your back,” he whispered near her ear, then kissed her cheek and slapped her ass before letting her up.
She laughed at his playfulness; his dominance turned her on. Pen rolled onto her back and eyed up her aggressor. Holy hotness… Naked wrestling with a gorgeous MMA fighter…talk about every girl’s fantasy.
He was breathing hard but she knew it had nothing to do with exertion. This guy had phenomenal cardio. No…he was as turned on as she was by their little sparring foreplay. And her bottom was still burning from that slap. She’d get him back for that one. But all Pen’s training was defensive. She needed him to come at her, to reach for her.
She rose to one elbow and bent her knees, letting her legs fall apart. His gaze dropped and he muttered a curse. “You’re not playing fair, Pen.”
“Neither are you. My ass still stings. Maybe we should just kiss and make up.”
She ran her hand over her breast and down the flat of her stomach, fingertips teasing across the narrow strip of tightly trimmed curls just above her sex. “Come on, Kyle. You know you want to touch me.”
“So much,” he confessed, with a husky rasp that almost made her abandon her plan for revenge. He moved closer and reached for her. At the last moment, she grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward, twisting it as he fell between her legs. She rolled her hips, using both of their momentum to put him on his back and she landed on top of him. Reaching behind her, she grabbed the twin weights between his legs and Kyle froze. Arousal and warning flashed in his eyes. He was so hard it was like sitting on a rod of flesh-covered steel.
“Tap,” she told him, grinning triumphantly. It didn’t matter that she’d fought dirty. All was fair in love and war, right?
“You don’t want to do this, Pen.”
He sounded so serious, but the f
ire in his eyes was telling her a different story. He was proud of her craftiness, and seriously turned on. Pen gently caressed the weights in her hand, her thumb gliding up to stroke the base of his cock, making him groan. The tortured throaty sound resonated in her core.
“I’m going to fuck you for this,” he warned. “So damn hard.”
She tightened her grip, just enough to make his breath catch. Bending down, she whispered against his mouth, “I hope so,” and nipped his bottom lip, then slowly licked the sting. He raised his head to meet her kiss, his talented tongue tangling with hers—and that was the moment she lost her advantage.
Kyle grabbed her hand that wasn’t gripping his balls, and when he shifted his weight beneath her, she lost her balance, forcing her to either let go of her victory, or fall. Self-preservation prevailed, and the moment she released him, he grabbed her other wrist and rolled. She landed on the bed face-first, one of her arms pinned beneath her, the other stretched over her head, held in place by Kyle’s hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. Her upper body was immobile and the lower half equally pinned. Her hips were turned, one of her legs was bent up, wedged in place by his knee and the other was stretched out, any movement blocked by his leg.
“I’d tell you to tap,” he whispered near her ear. “But I think I’ll take my victory when you beg me to let you come.”
She was trapped. She couldn’t move, and it was in that moment that Pen realized how utterly vulnerable she was. She had no way to escape—she had zero control. Was this Kyle’s end-game all along? To make her completely physically dependent on him? Until now, whenever he’d made love to her, she’d never been confined. And yet she wasn’t scared, which was odd. Hell, she wasn’t even angry—though the rational part of her was telling her she should be—but she was too worked up, too turned on to care.
He shifted above her and Pen gasped when his broad crown breached her opening and he impaled her with one hard thrust. “You feel so damn good,” he praised, kissing her shoulder as his body hovered above hers, taking her harder and harder. Each time the head of his cock hit that secret place deep inside her, it was like striking flint to stone. Sparks detonated, fueling her fire.
She’d never had sex in this position before, never would have considered allowing someone that kind of control over her. But this…with Kyle…it was freeing—liberating. All she could do was close her eyes and take the pleasure he was giving her, one powerful thrust at a time.
When his hand slipped between her legs to trap her clit against his cock, she cried out at the explosive sensation. She was so close… And he knew it.
“Ask me, Pen. Ask me to let you come,” he demanded.
She wasn’t sure why she refused. Perhaps she was unwilling to let go of that last bit of control and completely surrender herself to him. “No,” she panted. If he kept this up she wouldn’t have to ask for anything; she was going to come anyway. When he pulled his hand away, she bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out in protest. But then the rhythm and pace of his thrusts changed. He’d just barely entered her before pulling back, tormenting her with denied pleasure.
The wild fire he was stoking inside her dulled to a backdraft, turning to a gnawing ache. The need was there but the means was only a teasing taste of what she knew he could give her.
“Just say it. Ask me and I’ll make you come so hard, baby.”
She tried to move, to take him deeper when he entered with just the tip, but she couldn’t gain any ground from her position. Frustration began to burn as hot as her desire. “Get off me, Kyle.” She’d make herself come. She didn’t need him. In fact, maybe she’d do it and let him watch, show him what he was missing by playing his stubborn, frustrating games.
“See now? Here we’ve finally uncovered the root of the problem. I knew you were still holding back from me.”
He kissed her shoulder then rested his forehead against it. When he spoke again, his breath tickled her back. “I want all of you, Pen. I want you to give yourself over to me, one-hundred percent.”
“You want too much,” she told him, tears pricking her eyes. She didn’t know if it was the unquenchable ache deep inside her, or the frustration that brought them to the surface, but they were there nonetheless. She’d already given more than she’d given anyone else. Why couldn’t he just be satisfied? She hadn’t even realized she was holding onto this piece of herself—until Kyle was trying to force her to let it go.
“I’m not asking you for anything I’m not willing to give in return,” he coaxed, slipping his hand between her legs to slowly massage that traitorous bundle of nerves.
His touch wasn’t firm enough to see the job done, only to work her up into a mindless mess of need. Her body hummed with pleasure. “Please,” she whispered, her plea a compromise she hoped would end this torturous play.
But he wasn’t falling for it. “Please what, Pen? Just ask me. You know I’ll give you anything you want.”
Why was she resisting? She knew he wouldn’t deny her. She trusted him, so why was this so difficult? And truthfully, he was starting to wear her down. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand this teasing torture. Her desire was overruling her willpower. What was the point in refusing? They were just words, right? And the reward would be so worth it.
“Please, Kyle,” she moaned breathlessly. “Please make me come.”
He grew still a moment, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard her. But then he kissed her cheek, nuzzling the side of her neck, and whispered, “With pleasure.”
The pressure on her clit increased and his next thrust was so hard, so deep…so perfect she immediately shattered. She cried his name as he pounded her orgasm out of her. He was relentless as the euphoric waves pulled her under. Drowning never felt so good.
“No…don’t touch me! Stop! Please stop!”
Kyle startled awake, his heart pounding in his chest as Pen’s hitching sob gutted him. He reached for her, his grip on her sweat-soaked skin slipping as she wrenched away from his touch, shrinking into a self-protective ball.
“No! Don’t touch me,” she cried.
He knew she wasn’t talking to him. She was yelling at the demon that refused to let go of her.
“It’s okay, Pen,” he soothed, making another grab for her and pulling her into his arms. This time she didn’t fight him. Through her haze of sleep, she must have realized he was there, because she clung to him, burrowing her face against his aching chest.
“Shh.” He brushed her hair out of her face, damp with sweat and tears. Tipping his head, he glanced down at her. She was still asleep, or at least appeared to be. Pressing his lips against her forehead, he murmured, “You’re safe now. No one’s going to hurt you.”
Kyle was at a loss; he didn’t know what else he could do. He’d tried over and over again to banish those dreams. He’d thought maybe if she completely surrendered herself to him that she would be free of whatever it was that seemed to have a grip on her. He may not have known the details, but he’d surmised enough to know that she’d suffered some sort of abuse. And as a result, a need for control had taken root deep inside her. That was why he fought her so hard for it, but still he failed to save her from her nightmares.
Hugging her tight as she cried, he whispered, “Who did this to you, baby?” He had little hope she’d answer him, but as he’d done every night before this one, he had to ask. Maybe someday she’d tell him her monster’s name.
Chapter Thirty
“How’d you sleep last night?”
Pen glanced at him and smiled as she breezed into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. “Great. You?” Her back was to him when she spoke, but he thought he detected a note of tension in her voice.
He took a sip from his cup, wishing it was his father’s scotch. “No nightmares, then?”
She opened the fridge and pulled out the container of cream. “Nope. Not a one.” She poured it into her cup, then refastened the cap before sticking the carton back on the shelf. “So, yo
ur sister and Regan are coming over tonight.”
She was changing the subject. Good to know Pen was back to lying to him again. After the connection they’d shared, the breakthroughs they’d had, he’d hoped they were past all that. Goes to show that with victory, comes defeat—and he was about to discover just how far he could fall.
“Maybe I should call her. See what they’d like to have for dinner?”
“So, we’re really going to do this?” He got up and walked over to her, stopping where she couldn’t hide her face from him. “You’re going to look me in the eye and pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about?” He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.
She tensed and closed the refrigerator door, then slowly turned to face him. He probably should have taken note of the warning in her eyes telling him to tread carefully, but he was past that—they were past that. He was exhausted from spending another sleepless night holding her while she sobbed in his arms. Because, yeah, it wasn’t so easy getting back to sleep after waking up to your girlfriend screaming, Stop, please stop. Don’t touch me.
“Give me a name, Pen.”
She looked at him with zero understanding. Man, this girl deserved an Oscar. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit. Who did this? Who broke you? Tell me his name. I need to know what happened.”
She studied him with detached shrewdness. Disappointment clawed at his chest. All this time, he thought they were making progress together, moving forward, but she was just showing him what he needed to see to pacify him. The way she looked at him now, there was nothing sweet or vulnerable about her. If he hadn’t been there last night—fucking her into submission—he’d think he imagined the whole thing.
“Why do you always have to be the goddamn hero?” she shot back, dropping the I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about pretenses. She sounded just as frustrated as he felt.
“I wish you would stop calling me that! Wanting to protect the people you care about is not heroic. It’s normal.”
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