She leaned her head back against the glass, turned her head, and stared at him. “Why did you come tonight?”
“Well, I came to make you smile. I’m not doing a very good job of it though.”
“What is all over your hair and arms?”
Dane held his arm up to the dim light coming through the windshield. “Paint. I hadn’t cleaned up yet when I called you.”
She leaned in and took a closer look. “Is that light blue?”
“And some Cottage Cream.”
She tilted her head. “Sounds lovely.”
“It turned out great. You should come over and see it.”
“Maybe I will.”
“I think you’ll like the master bath.”
“Did you paint the ceiling blue?”
“You have to come and see for yourself.”
She laughed. “You never give up, do you?”
“Not on anything I want.”
“And you want me?”
“Yes.” He gave her the honest answer and hoped she understood he meant he wanted her for a hell of a lot more than what he’d wanted from other women. Their kind of dating was taking a hell of a long time to get to what he really wanted. He sat beside her, damn uncomfortable with his dick throbbing and pressed to his fly. The thing is, he enjoyed their long talks. Waiting for her made it all seem more important. It sucked, but he’d go through this agony to know that when he finally had her in his bed, she’d know he cared about her and not scratching an itch.
“Why me?”
“I’ll have to get you a book about chemistry. The biological kind.”
“I’ve read two books on the subject, but I just don’t get it. Pheromones and all that, I get. It’s our biology coded to procreate. But the act of seeing someone, being attracted to them, falling in love.” Bell shook her head, her eyes clouded with doubt.
“Do you find me attractive?”
Bell’s gaze fell to his chest and arms, then back up to his face. She realized she’d been caught staring at his body, bit her lip, and looked everywhere but at him. “Uh, yeah. You don’t need me to tell you how gorgeous you are. Every woman who’s ever laid eyes on you has told you.”
“Let’s stick to you and me. Forget all them. I have.”
“Right.”
He touched his finger to her chin and made her turn to look at him. “I forgot about them the moment I met you. The only woman I care about and want to be with is you. Only you.” He’d let some of his frustration out in his voice without meaning to, but she had to hear how much he meant those words and how hard it was for him to say them.
“Maybe it would help you believe me if you knew we both have something in common.”
“What?” she asked.
“This is new for me and you. Can you cut me a small break and believe that what we have is different and new to me? I’m trying to do this right. I’ll make some mistakes, probably have already, but I’m trying, Bell.
“If you find me attractive and like me, how about we try an experiment that will help you understand chemistry?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Not at the moment.”
He laughed. Yeah, she would say that. “I’m asking you to trust me.”
“Okay.”
“Move closer.”
She scooted two inches closer.
“Closer.”
She shimmied over another two inches.
“Bell, come here.” This time, he reached for her, placing his hand on the back of her neck and drawing her to him.
Their eyes locked. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers in a soft stroke that demanded nothing and promised everything. He caressed his fingers over her short hair, let the strands slide under his fingers. She sighed and leaned into his touch. He pressed his lips to hers again, tilting his head for a more intimate angle. She watched him. He watched her. The surprise in her eyes turned to interest. He swept his tongue out to slide over her lips. She sucked in a breath and he took advantage, sweeping his tongue in to glide against hers. Just a taste was all it took to turn that interest in her eyes to smoldering heat.
He leaned back just an inch to stare down at her. “That’s chemistry, Bell. That warm feeling spreading through you. The heat pooling in your belly. That need gnawing at your gut and racing through your veins. Your heart pounding in your chest and in your ears. That voice in your head saying, ‘Do it again.’ ”
“Do it again.” Her words were softly spoken, but held no less than demand in her plea.
He drew her close again. Maybe she pulled him in. Didn’t matter. All that mattered was that her mouth met his in a kiss so shockingly erotic and sweet that he only knew her and the need he unleashed at her command. He pressed his lips to hers and slid his tongue deep into her mouth to taste and caress hers. She met his every move and took him under her spell. He tried to keep things tame. He kept his hands on her shoulders, his fingertips massaging her soft skin at her neck.
Bell tore her mouth from his and stared at him, wide-eyed. “This is kind of addictive.”
“You’re addictive.” He pulled her back in for another long kiss. He loved that sweet sigh and sexy moan she made when she settled into his arms. He wanted to make her do it again. His fingers trailed down her neck. The shiver it elicited reverberated through him. He slid his hand lower and traced the top of her breast with his fingertips. She sucked in a surprised breath, then settled into the intimate touch. He took the kiss deeper, cupped her breast, and brushed his thumb over her tight nipple. She made that sexy moan again, arched her back, and offered up her breast for him to mold to his palm. He leaned into her, completely lost in her taste and the feel of her pressed against him and filling his hand. He wanted more. His elbow hit the steering wheel. He turned to bring her closer, but he banged his bad leg on the dashboard and grunted in pain.
Bell ended the kiss and pressed her forehead to his. “This is crazy.”
He swept his thumb over her breast again. Her eyes flamed with desire.
“This is good.” Different. Better than he expected or imagined. His whole body flamed with a need he’d never experienced. One kiss and she’d completely tilted his world and realigned it to hers.
“I should go.”
“You’ll have to let go if you want to do that.” He glanced down at her hands fisted in his shirt, holding him to her. He wanted her to hold on. “Or don’t.”
She did let go and leaned back against the seat. He hated the separation, but he gave her space to breathe. He leaned back, too, trying to keep his hands from reaching for her again.
“I really had no idea. I mean, I’ve kissed a boy, but not like that.”
He gripped her shoulders. “Wait, you kissed someone?”
She laughed. “I’m not as naïve and innocent as you think. I tried one other experiment.”
“Who the fuck kissed you?” He wanted to kill whoever had touched her.
His outrage made her smile even more. “I was about to graduate college. I was eighteen and tired of being the only girl who didn’t know anything about sex. I went to a party, found a really cute boy about my age who I knew from one of my classes, and asked him to get me a drink. I drank one to his four. We ended up in his dorm room. A very quick few minutes later, I got the whole sex thing. He passed out, and I left completely unimpressed and wondering what everyone was talking about.”
“That douche should be shot.”
She cocked her head and stared at him, not getting the reference at all.
“He’s an asshole who doesn’t know how to treat a woman right,” Dane snarled.
“Yeah, well, he got the job done.”
“No. He didn’t if you left there completely unsatisfied and not wanting to do it again.”
“Really?”
Dane shifted and reached for her, sliding his hand up her neck to cup her face, his thumb sweeping along her jaw in a soft caress that made her eyes go soft. Sh
e caught her breath and her pretty lips parted, begging for his lips to touch hers again. “Do you want to kiss me again?”
“Oh yes,” she sighed out. “I really do.”
He leaned in close, his nose inches from hers. “Do you want to touch me?”
Her eyes dipped to his chest. Her tongue swept across her kiss-swollen lips. “Yes,” she whispered.
“God, how I want to touch every inch of you. That’s the difference between having sex and making love to someone you truly care about and can’t wait to have close.”
“Have you ever made love?”
Her softly spoken question made his heart stutter to a stop. She made him think. What the hell had he been doing with all those women? Lori in high school came damn close. He’d felt so much for her. He’d wanted her in a way that went beyond just sex, but the relationship went south when he’d caught her kissing some fan of the opposing high school football team. He’d really liked her. She’d stomped on his heart, and he’d never let that happen again.
Until now. He’d put his heart in Bell’s hands. He hoped she didn’t slice it to shreds with her scalpel.
“I thought I had, but now I don’t think so. What I feel for you is so new and different. Never doubt that this is real, Bell. I’m not playing some game, or looking for some fun with a different kind of girl.”
“Brunette.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do.” She leaned against his shoulder. He put his arm around her and drew her close. “I like this.” She snuggled against him like a cat settling in for the night.
“I’m so glad you enjoy torturing me.” She tried to pull away, but he held her close. “I’m kidding. Mostly.”
“If you’re uncomfortable because we didn’t . . .”
“What?”
“You know.”
“Say it.”
“Make love.”
See. Any other woman from his past would have said fuck. He loved that she took things seriously. She thought about the words she said and what they meant.
“I’ll be fine. We’re not there yet. You need more time to get to know me and unscramble your feelings from your overactive brain and all the thoughts you generate that boil down to one thing.”
“What is that?”
“You want to be with me, but you’re afraid of what that means. You think it means you’re somehow like your mother. Deep down, you’re worried that if you do sleep with me, I’ll leave you in the morning, like I’ve done with other women in the past. I’ve never lied to you about who I used to be. I’m not lying to you now. I don’t want you in my bed for a night. I want you in it every night.
“Maybe that scares you even more than all the rest. I’m not afraid to admit it scares me, too. I mean, am I capable of that kind of intimate relationship? I hope so. I’ve got some great examples to follow. My mom and dad. Gabe and Ella. Blake and Gillian. Caleb and Summer. They’ve created something worth having and keeping.”
“I don’t have any examples of couples that made it work and did it well,” Bell admitted. “Look at my life. As smart as I am, I have no idea how to do this.”
“I’m sure you’ve felt that way about a lot of things. You’ll learn. So will I. We’re in this together. Nothing and no one else matters, except what we say matters to us.”
“You really mean that.”
“Yes,” he sighed out. “Now will you go to dinner with me?”
She turned, leaned up, and kissed him softly. “Yes.”
Surprised by the show of affection, it took him a second to realize she’d finally accepted a real date with him. “It’s about time. Pretty soon, I’d have to start seeing you about the complex you gave me that I’m not good enough for you.”
“That is not true. I never thought that. I just don’t want to be one of Dane’s Dames.”
“I really hate that term.”
“It’s not my favorite either.”
“So, dinner tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”
“Perfect.”
“Promise me, you won’t cover a shift for someone to get out of seeing me.”
“I promise. You, me, dinner, dessert that I’m not sharing, and more smiles and laughs.”
“I like it when you smile. You should do it more often.”
She tilted her head and looked up at him. “You make me want to smile. Thanks for coming over tonight.”
“Nothing but selfish on my part.” He pressed his hand to her thigh and squeezed. She stiffened for a second, surprised by his touch, but quickly settled into it. “I wanted to see you.”
“I wanted to see you, too. I’m looking forward to dinner.”
“Go inside before I kiss you again and drive you to my place.” God, how he wanted to be with her, but she needed time, and he’d give her anything she needed.
“I don’t get a kiss goodnight?” she asked with one raised eyebrow and a flirty tone in her voice. He liked it when she let her guard down and gave in to this playful side of herself.
Two could play at this game. With a deliberately deepened voice, he asked, “Do you want a kiss goodnight?”
She tilted her lips down into a pouty frown. “I guess you don’t want to kiss me.” Bell tried to reach for the door.
Dane turned her to him and kissed her deep. She caught on quick and matched her movements to his. They lost themselves in each other’s arms. She squirmed toward the door. He leaned in closer, keeping his lips pressed to hers until the last second, when she got out of the truck and stood on the running board, her hands planted on the seat as she leaned in and smiled at him like he’d never seen her smile.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
Her laugh would play in a loop in his mind for the rest of his days.
“Goodnight, Dane.”
“Night, Bell.”
She jumped down, but he stopped her before she closed the door. “Hey, Bell, are you okay staying here?”
“I’ve lived in this house my whole life. Over the last couple of years, I’ve spent less and less time here. But my grandmother is ill. Eventually, I’ll have to move her to an assisted living facility. She’ll hate that.”
“None of that excuses the way she treats you.”
“No. And nothing will change the way she treats me.”
“A good ass kicking will.”
“Are you seriously thinking of beating up my grandmother?”
“I’m just saying it’s not right. You don’t need to stay here and take her abuse.”
“Let it be. Be careful driving home.”
“I’ll be fine, but I like that you’re concerned about me.”
“I just don’t want to have to piece you back together.”
“But you’re so good at it.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“I hope you’re thinking about taking that new position at the clinic. You’d be a great doctor for this community.”
“I already help out.”
“I’d like it if you were closer to home. That commute to Bozeman, the hours you work, it must be a killer.”
“It does get tedious sometimes.”
“Get some rest, Bell. I’ll see you for dinner tomorrow night.”
Dane waited for her to go inside again. He tried not to react to her grandmother screaming, “You’re nothing but a tramp.” He unfisted his hands in his lap and grabbed the steering wheel.
He hated to leave her here and wondered how he could get her to live somewhere else. Maybe even with him.
Right, like that was going to happen when she’d only just accepted a first date. They were still a long way from moving in together. Still, the thought appealed. A lot. He’d never wanted to share his life with anyone. Now all he thought about was being with her.
Chapter 12
Bell jogged down the road toward Dane’s place, completely lost in her memories of last night. Dinner out with Dane had been one of those turning point moments for both of them. Yes, they enjoyed each
other’s company. She loved being with him, but it was so much more. They’d shared a meal, their time, conversation, laughs, and held hands like they’d known each other for years. She’d fallen completely under his spell. She finally understood what it felt like to be in a relationship with a man. What it felt like to be cared for and liked and connected to another person. Whether it had been the candlelight, the wine, or just the man, she’d allowed herself to be in the moment and feel everything. Even now, the anticipation of kissing him again fluttered in her belly. He’d been right about the chemistry thing. They had it. As before, when she was close to him, she wanted to get closer, but now that feeling somehow amplified a thousandfold. Being close to him wasn’t enough. She wanted to be with him all the time.
Which is why she’d taken the road to his house instead of going for her morning run on her property. Quite a distance, but she’d simply ask him to drive her home after she saw him. That’s all she wanted, a look at his handsome face before she drove into town for her shift at the clinic. Maybe a few more of those kisses they’d shared last night in her driveway. Right before she’d gone inside and found her grandmother asleep, slumped in her favorite chair in the kitchen, a lit cigarette in her hand. She’d put the old woman to bed, making sure to check her blood sugar level and give her a shot of insulin. She’d checked her feet. One day soon they’d have to have a talk about possible amputation if her toes got any worse. Her grandmother didn’t want to hear it, but she’d have to face the facts. She’d lose her eyesight completely before that happened. Between the diabetes and smoking, the woman was hell-bent on killing herself painfully and slowly.
Bell set aside her worries for her grandmother and picked up her pace, anxious to see Dane. He’d wash away all thoughts of her grandmother and make her smile.
Lost in the beautiful fall scenery, she focused on the trees with their gold and red leaves. Soon they’d have snow. Thanksgiving was next week. Maybe she’d spend it with Dane and his family instead of sitting alone in her room reading, or covering another shift at the clinic, taking care of grease burns on people trying and failing at deep-frying the turkey.
The wind whipped up again. She pulled her navy blue cap down over her ears to keep warm. She dug in and ran hard up the short hill. Her thigh muscles burned with the added effort. She caught a flash of silver behind the trees a second before a car pulled out, nearly hitting her. Thanks to her fast reflexes, she shimmied to the side, the car’s bumper narrowly missing her thighs. She stumbled, twisted, and fell down hard on her hands. Off balance on the hill leading down into the trench, she rocked sideways and rolled down the hill, skidding on her hip and thigh the last five feet, tearing her jogging pants and scraping her skin painfully. Her foot caught on an exposed root, and she wrenched her knee when the rest of her rolled over. She put her hands out to catch herself and stop from landing in the ice-cold water at the bottom of the drainage ditch.
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