On Equal Terms

by Catherine O'Connor

  He opened the car door. ‘Come on,’ he said encouragingly. She looked up, feeling a warm tingle sweep over her as he helped her from the small Jeep. She hesitated, but at that moment the ebony wood door of the villa opened and she heard a familiar voice call.

  ‘Kate!’

  Then words and actions happened simultaneously, the depth of her emotion threatening to overwhelm her.

  ‘Daddy!’ she cried, forgetting everyone as she rushed towards him, her love blocking out everything else. The tears that she had fought so hard to control now flowed freely without her even being aware of them. She flung her arms around her father, hating the uncharacteristic fragility she felt in his frame and yet still clinging to it and seeking the comfort and security she longed to find there. ‘Daddy.’ She whispered his name again as if it were an incantation as she planted a kiss on his cheek, her arms wrapping tightly around his chest as she held on to him, squeezing him till she took his breath away. She felt his arms around her, too, the familiar, reassuring arms that had held her when she was a child.

  ‘You’re looking well,’ she managed, wiping the back of her hand across her cheeks to remove a damp patch of tears. Their hands were still linked and she rejoiced in the feel of her father’s hand in hers; it was so natural, so perfect that it seemed odd he had refused to have her home, ignored her pleas for forgiveness.

  ‘Well?’ Howard said as he looked at his daughter thoughtfully.

  ‘You’re looking better than I thought you would,’ Kate admitted, with a smile that sprang naturally to her lips. It was so good to see him again.

  ‘Clare’s been taking good care of me,’ Howard agreed, wrapping his arm affectionately around his wife’s waist as she came to join them. Clare responded by resting back against her husband, their mutual love for each other apparent in their actions, which made Kate feel slightly ill at ease.

  ‘I’m sure she has,’ Kate said a little icily, ignoring Clare completely. Kate knew she had changed little in that respect; even though she was no longer as jealous of Clare as she had been she still felt a stab of anger at her presence.

  ‘Come on, I’ve already fixed the drinks,’ offered Clare as they moved into the cool hall. The sound of footsteps tapping on the cold ceramic tiles stopped them and Kate stared at her old adversary with the familiar feelings rising up within her. Louisa effectively ignored Kate, merely nodding to the whole family, while she directed all her attention on Sebastian.

  ‘Sebastian,’ she said, her voice husky and low. ‘It’s lovely to see you. I see you found Kate, but do you think it was wise bringing her here?’

  Kate felt a surge of feeling and clamped down on it with a sudden fierceness. She was here to make amends, to repair any damage she had done, not to clash with everyone again. She tried to close her ears to Sebastian’s reply as she followed her parents into the large lounge but she caught him saying, ‘Don’t worry, Louisa, I’ll be keeping a close eye on her. Besides…’

  Kate could not bear to hear any more. What had she expected—the red carpet to be thrown out in welcome? She knew it was going to be hard but was determined to show them all how much she had changed. She took the long iced drink Clare offered her with a forced smile, then sank on to the floor next to her father’s chair, resting her head on his legs as she looked up at him, hating the signs of old age she saw in his face. He reached out, placing his hand on her head, stroking her hair.

  ‘It’s good to have you back, Kate. We have all missed you,’ he said, with a reassuring smile.

  ‘I’m glad to be back. I would have come back sooner…’ she began, but, despite the desire that sprang up inside her to ask him why he had refused to see her before now, she trailed off into silence. Suddenly it seemed pointless. The important thing was that they were back together again. She rested her head back, closing her eyes as she wallowed in the luxury of being with her father again and feeling the soothing touch of his hand.

  ‘How touching.’

  Kate’s eyes flew open at the velvet taunt of Sebastian’s voice. She felt uneasy under his contemplative gaze but forced a smile on her face, ignoring his barb.

  ‘Come on, Kate,’ Sebastian continued. ‘I’d like to show you the new pool we’ve had put in.’

  It was a polite enough invitation but Kate knew it was an offer she would be foolish to ignore. Besides, she could feel the burning-hot wrath of Louisa upon her and that acted like a catalyst. She jumped to her feet, feigning delight

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ she said to her father, planting an affectionate kiss on his cheek. He responded with another indulgent smile.

  ‘You certainly have fooled Howard, maybe even my mother, but remember, Kate, you’ll never fool me,’ Sebastian warned, once they were outside. Kate picked carelessly at one of the flowers that hung down from the beams forming the pergola to try and cover her awkwardness.

  ‘It’s not an act,’ she said defensively.

  ‘Isn’t it?’

  Kate stiffened at the challenging tone of his voice and tipped her head back to look at him. No matter how hard she tried, her pride would not give in to him. She recalled the carefully rehearsed phrases that she knew would antagonise him.

  ‘I can understand your concern; you might have to share your half of the company.’ She smiled sweetly as she spoke but Sebastian remained impassive to her words, and his complacency only served to fire her anger. She saw the knowing look in his eyes as he stared at her and her heart sank. It still hurt her to think that he thought so badly of her.

  ‘I’d be careful, Sebastian,’ she continued bravely, still wanting to annoy him, to hurt him as much as his indifference hurt her. ‘Who knows what might happen now I’ve returned?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said evenly. ‘Nothing at all will happen, Kate, so don’t waste any time making futile plans. You’re here to help in your father’s recuperation, and once you stop doing that I’ll take you right back to England.’

  ‘No, Sebastian. I’m not going anywhere till I’m ready, and I do what I want,’ she said, standing up to him.

  ‘Oh, don’t we all know it?’ he drawled at her.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ Kate demanded, hating the indifference in his tone and the superior look on his face.

  ‘You’ve always had exactly what you wanted. I remember when Howard couldn’t go to America because you made such a fuss.’ She could see the bitterness as black as coffee in his vivid eyes.

  ‘He didn’t want to go,’ she protested.

  ‘Of course he did. He was proud of my success but you resented any attention that wasn’t given wholly to you,’ Sebastian told her, sparing her none of his contempt.

  ‘That’s not true!’

  ‘You know damned well it is! Your only motivation is the fulfilment of your own desires. I know why you’re being kind to Howard—it’s because you want money!’

  ‘It’s for charity,’ she said angrily, hating his accusation; it was so untrue—so unfair.

  ‘I don’t care what it’s for. Howard is not to be bothered. You just watch your step,’ he warned, before adding, ‘And do try to treat my mother with a little respect.’

  Kate remained stubbornly silent. She felt strangled by the anger that squeezed her dry throat. She raised her face, her gaze falling on his ruthless features, and she knew he meant every word.

  ‘Understand?’ he said. He took hold of her arm. Kate glared at him as she struggled briefly, trying to shake off the firm grip he had her trapped in, but he wouldn’t let go and she was forced to stand there and face him.

  ‘Kate?’

  ‘Yes, yes, I understand,’ she bit out, her whole body shaking. ‘You lost your father because your mother saw mine as a better catch, and you want my father as a substitute.’

  Cursing under his breath, Sebastian’s grip tightened still further.

  ‘One of these days, Kate—’ he ground out between his tightly clamped jaws and, despite Kate’s angry struggle, she was trapped, locked in his arms
, unable to prevent him from kissing her. Kate could remember Sebastian’s kisses only too well. They were warm, soft, full of love and passion, not like this onslaught, which was bereft of any tenderness. She forced herself to hate him, to ignore the rapid tattoo her pulse was drilling through her body. He dragged his mouth across her blazing cheeks.

  ‘Kate,’ he murmured thickly, his lips still against her face. ‘Why do you do this to me? Why?’

  His hand went instinctively to her lips and he traced their softness, ignoring her feeble protests. Kate pulled away. Her body was growing weaker but she couldn’t allow herself to be fooled by him again. She pushed him right away, breaking free, and looked him straight in the eye.

  ‘Stay away from me, Sebastian,’ she stated. She knew how weak her protest sounded and she caught the laughter in his eyes as he moved away.

  ‘I can’t do that, Kate. You see, I don’t trust your motives,’ he told her. ‘So, much as I’d like to stay away from you, I’m afraid I simply cannot.’ The flash of white teeth denoted a smile but there was no warmth or laughter in it. He then spun round quickly and walked away.

  ‘Sebastian,’ Kate called after him, and there was a slight pause in his stride, so Kate knew he had heard her, but he carried on walking.

  CHAPTER SIX

  KATE was grateful for the heavy workload Sebastian seemed to have—it kept him so busy that she rarely saw him except at mealtimes—and, as all the family was there, no one seemed to notice the strained atmosphere between them, or their lack of conversation with each other. Kate longed to take over the care of her father but it was a constant source of friction between her and Clare, who had taken total responsibility for her husband since his heart attack.

  ‘I’ll see to that, Clare,’ Kate said one afternoon, getting to her feet to make her father some tea.

  ‘No sugar now, and half-fat milk,’ Clare reminded her gently, annoying Kate more than she realised.

  ‘I know,’ Kate snapped back, then added, ‘Why don’t you go and rest, Clare?’

  ‘I can’t,’ she answered, then caught Kate’s expression. ‘Honestly, Kate, I can’t,’ she sighed.

  ‘You mean won’t! What do you think I’m going to say to him? Something awful to bring on a relapse?’ Kate asked, hurt by her stepmother’s attitude.

  ‘Perhaps not purposefully, Kate, but…’ Clare’s voice trailed away.

  ‘I haven’t come here to argue, or to rake up the past,’ Kate explained. Then she added painfully, ‘Why can’t you believe that?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Kate. It’s just that I’m frightened.’

  ‘Frightened?’

  ‘Yes. When I came close to losing Howard, I was devastated. I’m scared of leaving him alone in case…’ But Clare was unable to finish the sentence.

  ‘I see,’ acknowledged Kate, suddenly seeing her stepmother as a frail older woman who was in need of a good rest. ‘Trust me, Clare, I’ll look after him,’ she reassured her. Clare faltered for a moment, then a soft smile lit her worn face.

  ‘Thanks, Kate,’ she nodded.

  Though Kate had willingly taken charge of him, she thought it would be no easy task, as Howard Peterson was a true workaholic and was never really happy unless absorbed in some deal or other. But as it happened they had so much catching up to do that, for once in his life, Howard Peterson forgot all about work. Many times Kate wanted to question him, to ask him why he had sent back her letters and cards, but somehow she felt that mentioning the past might jeopardise the easy relationship that was developing between them now. Kate wasn’t prepared to take the risk. She tried to suffocate her natural curiosity and concentrate instead on the friendship that they had. She was pleased, too, that Clare had moved aside, giving them both time together, so that Kate was forced to look at her stepmother in a new light. It was obvious that Clare cared deeply about her husband and was willing to do anything to make him happy.

  Kate was into the second week of her holiday when she came down to breakfast one morning to find her father engrossed in conversation with Sebastian.

  ‘I think Kate deserves a rest.’ Howard paused as she entered, and Kate gave him an affectionate peck on the cheek before sliding into the white cane chair next to him and resting her hand over his. ‘She has been looking after me non-stop since she arrived, but of course she has her accident to recover from as well,’ he continued, the delight in his voice making Kate’s heart soar with joy. Her eyes darted to Sebastian, who studied her suspiciously before turning his attention back to Howard. Kate, conscious of his glance, shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She began to pour herself a coffee, her hand shaking just a little.

  ‘Clare has been grateful for the break and we really enjoy both of you being here, but it would be nice—’ Howard never managed to finish his sentence as Sebastian cut in,

  ‘To have some time alone.’

  ‘Exactly. Louisa is taking a few days off, so you could take Kate out for some sightseeing.’

  Kate flushed with embarrassment at Sebastian’s reluctance. Howard had obviously been trying to persuade him to escort Kate for the day and, as Sebastian was not forthcoming, she felt mortified.

  ‘Really, Daddy, you make me sound like a child. I’m more than capable of occupying myself for the day,’ she said quickly, in an attempt to cover the embarrassing silence. Sebastian’s eyebrows rose at her words and he held up his hands in a sign of defeat, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth.

  ‘I give in. I’ll take a day off,’ he said, his voice lacking any real enthusiasm. Kate slammed her coffee-cup back into its saucer, spilling the contents.

  ‘That won’t be necessary, Sebastian. I had planned on having a day on the beach,’ she said, pushing her chair back as she stood to leave, longing to be out of his presence. There was something about him that seemed constantly to antagonise her.

  ‘And I know just the place,’ Sebastian said firmly, startling Kate into further defiance.

  ‘I’d rather spend the day on my own,’ she snapped, rigid with tension.

  ‘Now, now, Katy,’ admonished Sebastian, using her childhood name and mockingly wagging his finger at her. ‘That’s no way to behave when I’m offering to take you out for the day,’ he teased. A tint of colour stained Kate’s cheeks as she looked at him, but she was unable to suppress a smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. She shook her head.

  ‘Are you sure?’ she asked, a trace of doubt in her voice as she looked at him, but already feeling a little excited at the prospect.

  ‘Of course,’ he drawled lazily. ‘I’ve something really special in mind,’ he added mysteriously with a wink, his expression softer and inviting, and Kate felt her stomach contract. She felt she had been stabbed. The intense longing for him was a real physical pain and she hated the way she reacted to him. Determined not to allow Sebastian to know how she felt, she gathered herself together, hiding her turmoil behind a façade of indifference. She needed her protective armour intact if she was to spend the day with him—she knew exactly how potent Sebastian’s charm could be.

  ‘All right,’ she said coolly, moving past him, and as she did so he touched her. She stopped, frozen to the spot, the familiar gesture of his hand resting gently on her arm increasing the flow of blood through her body.

  ‘I shall ask Jasmine to fix us a picnic. I’m sure she’ll oblige.’

  ‘No doubt she will,’ answered Kate, moving away. Jasmine, the local woman who came in as daily help, like all women, was not immune to Sebastian’s charm. He grinned as if he knew what she was thinking.

  ‘Can you be ready in thirty minutes?’ he asked.

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘Good. If I’m to take a day off, I don’t want to waste a minute.’

  ‘Nor me,’ agreed Kate, blowing a kiss at her father as she scurried from the room. She suddenly felt lighthearted, happier than she had been for months.

  A day on the beach certainly required a change of clothing and Kate felt suddenly grateful that Seba
stian had made her buy some new clothes. She realised now that perhaps her views had been a little extreme at first. She had felt so guilty about her lifestyle when she had first begun to work for the Third World charity that she had deliberately toned down her wardrobe, and her small wage had made restocking it with expensive designer clothes an impossibility. So she took an extra delight in her new outfits.

  Over one of her new swimsuits she slipped a smart pair of orange-toned shorts, matched with a colourful jungle-print T-shirt, and slid her feet into a pair of slim golden sandals. She had already achieved a golden tan as she had carefully sunbathed every afternoon when her father had been resting. She grabbed a large shoulder-bag from the top of the wardrobe and hurriedly began to fill it with her other swimsuit, very fashionably cut high on the leg, a thick, colourful beach-towel and an assortment of sun lotions.

  Kate grinned when she remembered something else she had brought. She sat on the bed, blowing hard at an inflatable ring. It was shaped like a dolphin and had two beautiful blue eyes that rattled. Kate knew it would appeal to Sebastian’s wacky sense of humour.

  She hauled her bag onto her shoulder and, tucking the dolphin under her arm, glanced at her reflection as she passed the mirror. She looked young—very young. Her blonde hair had lightened in the sun and her heavy fringe hung over her dove-grey eyes—she looked like an innocent teenager! She paused for a moment, scooping her hair from her shoulders and holding it up on top of her head; she turned her face from side to side as she tried to decide whether to put it up—to do that would certainly make her look older. Then she released it; she preferred it loose. Besides, Sebastian wouldn’t notice either way. Not that she wanted him to, she reminded herself as she opened the bedroom door, her heartbeat already increasing.

  ‘Kate,’ purred Louisa, who was passing by her room, ‘you look lovely—so sweet.’ Her voice was thick and honey-coated but it did not conceal the underlying venom that Kate distinctly heard. ‘Quite the young lady,’ Louisa added, with a smile fixed on her face. Kate tried to return the smile but failed. She felt such a fool. Louisa was everything she was not: she was dressed in a taupe linen suit, a thin white silk camisole that matched her pair of low-heeled, peep-toed shoes and a wide white belt that emphasised her slender waist. Her hair was carefully arranged in a sophisticated chignon and her make-up was perfectly applied. Despite the heat, she showed no signs of distress, though beads of perspiration were already making Kate’s face glow.