Love Me, Hate Me: Friends to Lovers Romance

by Hawke Oakley

  Then the unthinkable happened.

  I felt a light pressure on my shoulder. Warmth. At first I thought Riley had put his hand on me, but then I felt the gentle brush of his hair against my neck. His head was on my shoulder.

  My heart sped up. Time stood still. I hoped he didn’t feel my pulse just skyrocket.

  I closed my eyes, then opened them again, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. But I wasn’t. I felt the slow rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his cheek against my shoulder. God, I wished my shirt was just a little bit further to the side so I could feel his skin on mine.

  What the hell am I saying?

  My chest felt like it was suddenly going to explode. I was starting to panic. If he stayed there any longer, I would feel things I don’t want to feel.

  “Aaron,” Riley mumbled.

  My body tensed, although I tried not to make it obvious. “Yeah?”

  “You remember what I was saying before,” he began. “About that story my mom burned?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Riley leaned up, taking his weight off my shoulder, and I didn’t know if I felt relieved or heartbroken. He stared into the darkness of the thicket, at nothing in particular. He picked at the sleeves of my jacket, which was long on me but only came up halfway on his forearms.

  The weight of the silence settled in, just waiting for Riley to speak once more.

  “It was a real story, but she didn’t know that. She just thought it was something I made up, which I’m still not sure is better or not,” Riley said suddenly. I perked up and turned towards him to listen. “It was about… this boy in my class.”

  My heart skipped a beat. Focus, Aaron. You don’t know where this story is going. Just be cool.

  I thought he was waiting for my confirmation to continue so I said, “I’m listening.”

  “His name was Christian. I was stupid and didn’t even bother changing it in the thing I wrote,” he said with a humorless laugh. “But she didn’t pay much attention to who was in my class anyway, so I guess she didn’t care.”

  He looked at his hands and began fidgeting with them. “Anyway, it was this stupid story about me being locked in a dungeon or something, and Christian was the knight who came and saved me.”

  I must have made a noise of sympathy without meaning to, because Riley turned to me, suddenly wary. “What?”

  “Nothing, it’s just – I guess I can see why she got mad,” I said. He shot me a strange glance. “No, not that I agree with her,” I added quickly. “It just… I like the story. Its familiar.”

  “What do you mean, familiar?” he asked.

  “I had tons of fantasies like that as a kid, too,” I said. “Except I was usually the knight. Oh, and I rode a horse, obviously.”

  Riley stared at me like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you making that up?”

  “What? No,” I said. “Why would I?”

  “You’re not just saying that to console me?” he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.

  I sighed. No use holding it back any longer.

  Here it comes.

  “Dude, I don’t know if you’ve figured this out by now or not,” I began. “But, uh, I’m gay. So, no, I’m not making up the two-boys-fairy-tale thing.”

  The silence sank like a rock. Some of the branches cracked together as the wind blew.

  “You’re lying,” Riley muttered.

  I sputtered. “Excuse me?”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at Beth and Caroline,” he spat. “You’re always in their rooms with them when they’re half naked.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously, dude? Why do you think they’re comfortable with me seeing their bodies? They know I’m not interested.”

  He was backing off, trying to get distance emotionally – I could see it in his eyes.

  “Hey,” I said softly. “What’s really bothering you? You can tell me, remember?”

  Riley pointedly turned his head away from me. I sighed and put my hand on his exposed forearm. “Riley – ”

  “No, I can’t fucking tell you, alright?” he snapped.

  I swallowed and winced back, retracting my hand. Riley was shuddering, but whether it was from the cold or something else, I didn’t know.

  “You’re the one person I can’t tell.”

  I just about forgot how to breathe. There was no way I’d heard that correctly – and if I had, there had to be some other meaning.

  Right?

  Now the quiet was unbearable, almost painful. I had to break it, had to say something.

  “Riley?” My voice came out hoarse.

  He didn’t look back at me. “What?” he mumbled.

  “What… what do you mean by that?” I asked carefully.

  He turned slightly, but still wouldn’t look at me. He was staring at his shoe. “What do you think I mean by that?”

  “Come on, that’s not fair, dude,” I said. “I’ll look stupid if I get it wrong.”

  “Just guess.”

  “Riley – ”

  “Guess, Aaron.”

  “You like me,” I spat. “Is that it?”

  His eyes met mine.

  I didn’t have to hear his reply to know the answer.

  Chapter Fifteen

  No fucking way.

  I was dreaming. Or hallucinating. There was no way this was real.

  Except I could tell by the way my skin turned hot and clammy, and the way my heart pounded against my ribs, and the way my body trembled with every breath that it was very, very real.

  Riley was watching me, waiting for my reaction. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the first move, but I was still star struck. Right now, I didn’t know my elbow from my ass.

  “Well?” Riley breathed.

  “Well, what?” I asked.

  “Aren’t you gonna run off or something?” he asked, eyeing me warily.

  “God, dude, what am I, like a baby or something?” I said. “Why the hell would I run off?”

  He watched me in disbelief. “I basically just told you – ”

  “I know what you told me,” I said firmly. “And look; the world didn’t open up in some catastrophic event and swallow us whole.” I sighed when he didn’t look amused at my witty remark. I reached out and touched the top of his hand with mine. “Why are you so scared of this?”

  “Because I was terrible to you,” Riley nearly shouted. His hand trembled under my skin like the contact was burning him. “I treated you like shit and then I told you I liked you, like some kind of freak, and you’re still here. What’s the matter with you?”

  I almost rolled my eyes. “I guess I’m kinda dumb.”

  “I’m being serious,” he said.

  “Fine. Then I’ll give it to you straight up. You’re not a freak. I don’t know why you think you are.”

  Riley’s brows scrunched up and he gazed off into the thicket. “Guys aren’t supposed to like other guys.”

  I laughed despite myself. “What, do we live in the fucking Stone Age? It’s 2017, dude, get with the program.” I paused. “You know my sister, Molly?”

  “Yeah?”

  “She’s gay,” I said. “Like, a major lesbian.”

  “What?” Riley stared at me. “For real?”

  “Totally for real.”

  “I had no idea,” he murmured. “Now I feel like an idiot for wanting to date her at first. But that’s the thing – all my life, I thought I liked girls.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe you’re bi.”

  Riley stared at me like I was speaking an entirely different language. I felt sorry for him. Did this sheltered ex-straight boy really not know anything?

  “Do you want to find out?” I asked quietly.

  “Find out what?”

  You know what they say; you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

  I leaned closer to him, slowly, my hand still on top of his. I felt him tense up. Up close, I saw his dark eyelashes
flutter rapidly against his cheeks as he blinked in confusion. His lips were parted just slightly. My body suddenly felt like it was on fire. I didn’t realize how much I wanted this until now.

  I had to make sure he did, too.

  “Riley,” I said softly. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

  He paused, swallowed visibly. Then he nodded.

  That was all the invitation I needed.

  As if time was being manipulated, we came together in slow motion. His lips were both desperately soft and slightly chapped, feeling gentle and raw as they scraped against mine. A hot sensation shot down my spine. My breath was caught, trembling, in my throat. His hand shook. So did mine.

  I wanted more, but I was afraid to push him. What if he didn't like this as much as I did? What if he was just experimenting and I was his guinea pig?

  Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I minded that or not because kissing him felt amazing.

  I pulled away before he did, gave him some space. I watched him for a reaction beyond being flushed-faced. I could still see the slightest sliver of teeth from where his lips were parted and didn’t quite touch.

  “Well?” I finally asked, breathlessly.

  His chest rose and fell, but he said nothing.

  “Riley?” I pressed. “Are you okay? How was it?” When he didn’t speak, I started to get nervous. “Come on, dude, you’re freaking me out, here.”

  “We better get back to the dorm before curfew,” he mumbled before standing.

  “Riley,” I began, but he interrupted me.

  “Let’s go.”

  My heart throbbed in my throat the entire walk back to the dorm. Riley hadn’t said anything, and I hadn't either. I had no idea what was going on in his mind. Honestly, I was afraid to find out.

  The sensation still lingered on my lips – the gentle contact of Riley’s mouth against mine that I desperately wanted to reach up and touch, as if to see if it was still there, if it had really happened. I stared at his back now as we headed down the hall to our room.

  He flashed his key card and held the door for me. We slipped inside. I flipped the light switch on. Riley immediately switched it off.

  “Don’t.”

  “What?”

  A sudden burst of heat and pressure. Riley crushed his mouth against mine, desperately. I let out a small noise of surprise before melting into the kiss. The spontaneity of it caught me off guard, but I was high with relief. He wasn’t angry. He wanted more.

  I would give it to him. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He was still kissing me chastely, almost as if afraid to make the next move – so I decided to do it for him. I parted my mouth, pressing my tongue gently against his lips, and when the moment he let me in I was all over him. I couldn’t contain myself any longer. A whimper escaped the back of my throat as his tongue slipped across mine.

  A hot shock of pleasure ran up my spine. My knees were going weak. Sensing this, Riley shot an arm around my waist and gently but firmly pinned me to the door so I wouldn’t slide down. Damn. I didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose, but fuck, that turned me on.

  I needed to know if he was, too.

  I loosened one of the arms I had around his neck and brought it down, snaking down his side and eliciting a grunt of pleasure from him. Still making out, I lazily brought my hand down to the front of his jeans, where I found a very real hard on. I couldn’t help but smirk into the kiss.

  When we broke away, panting and sweaty and gasping for breath, I shot him a sultry glance. “I think this proves it.”

  “What?” he breathed, too dazed to know what the fuck I was talking about. I gently ran my palm up the bulge in the front of his jeans. He hissed. “Fuck.”

  “I think you might be a little bit gay,” I said.

  Riley sighed. “Guess so.”

  “Well?” I asked. “What now? Did you bring me all the way back here to make out with me?”

  “Uh,” he said. “Sort of, yeah.”

  I shrugged. “Fine by me.”

  I took the lead this time, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down towards me. I kissed him deeply, savoring the hot wet feel of his mouth. My pulse was racing, and so was his; I felt the blood rushing in his veins as I stroked his neck. No wonder he had a boner; it was all heading away from his brain and down to his dick.

  If that’s where the party was headed, I didn’t wanna miss out.

  I pulled my mouth off of his, a strand of saliva breaking off as we parted, and I started to get on my knees.

  “H-hey, what the hell are you doing?” Riley sputtered.

  “Uh,” I said. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m gonna give you a blowjob.”

  There was just enough light in the room to watch Riley’s face turn the deepest shade of red I’d ever seen. I almost laughed.

  “What, like, for real?” he asked hoarsely.

  “Yeah?” I said. Suddenly my face fell. “Oh. You’ve never – you’ve never gotten one before, have you?”

  Riley’s jaw tightened.

  “Not even from a girl?” I asked.

  “No, alright?” he snapped.

  “Oh. Okay. Well,” I said, clearing my throat. “No pressure.”

  “Aaron, you don’t have to,” Riley murmured.

  I knew he meant it, too, but I, personally, couldn’t ignore the way his jeans were straining hard enough to be painful right in front of my face. I pressed my cheek against it, feeling the firm warmth, and Riley let out a choked sound above me.

  “But I want to,” I said, grinning up at him.

  He muttered something to himself, then said, “Fine.”

  Right now I hated buttons and zippers more than anything. I fussed with them, my hands sweaty and trembling with excitement and arousal. I all but ripped the waistband of his jeans as I tugged it lower until they pooled around his knees. His pants gone, I could focus now on the straining bulge in his dark briefs. I swallowed hard in anticipation.

  I felt something gently touch my shoulder. Riley was glancing down at me with an almost sympathetic expression.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked with a chuckle. “I’m not going to war, I’m just sucking a dick.”

  Riley grumbled. “I know.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. Had he always been this cute? How was I only just noticing this now?

  I got back to my task. I began palming him through the fabric, teasing him. He let out a shaky moan as my fingers traced the outline of his cock inside his briefs. He was already huffing and puffing above me, and I’d barely touched him yet. This was going to be too easy.

  I pulled him free of his briefs, and the full image of his cock made my mouth water. I stared at it for a fraction of a second before I pressed it against my cheek, groaning as I reveled in it, taking in his thick musky scent. A pool of spit was already building up in my mouth, anticipating what was next.

  Slowly, I licked up the shaft from the base of his balls to the very tip, which was already beading pre-cum. Riley shuddered. Even though this was his first time, I hoped he lasted a long time because I was enjoying this just as much as he was.

  Teasingly slow, I took the head of his cock inside my lips, teasing at the slit with my tongue. Riley whined and his hips stiffened. I knew he wanted to buck inside me, but he held himself back. Feeling smug, I took more of his cock inside my lips and held it there, soaking in the warm wetness of my mouth.

  I gripped the base of his cock with one hand, and moved my other one to his balls, softly caressing them. Riley hissed in pleasure. I heard his hand hit something – the door, most likely, as he scrambled for anything to hold onto.

  As much as I didn’t want to, I had to take his dick out of my mouth to speak.

  “Hold the back of my head,” I murmured.

  Riley did what he was told. I felt his fingers thread in my hair cautiously. I swallowed his cock once more, coating it in saliva as I sucked at the sensitive flesh. It pulsed and throbbed in my m
outh, and Riley let out a high-pitched keening noise. I wonder how much longer he’d last.

  “God, Aaron,” he moaned.

  I smirked. I pulled back slightly, preparing myself, and then in one motion I took as much of his cock as I could handle without choking. Turns out, it was most of it. I felt his cockhead hit the back of my throat and I made an involuntary gulping noise. This drove Riley crazy – his hands fisted in my hair, shaking.

  I looked up at him as best I could and caught his eyes. I nodded ever so slightly. I wanted him to fuck my mouth. When his expression changed, I knew he had understood. He nodded back before carefully holding my head and, very slowly, began thrusting back and forth.

  It was an incredibly fucking sexy experience. Giving him a blowjob was one thing, but now he was in control, using my mouth like a toy. I felt my own cock straining, hard and almost painful. If he kept this up I might cum without ever being touched at all.

  As his pleasure skyrocketed, Riley began working his hips faster. He moved in jerky motions, no doubt close to the edge. At one point he pulled his cock entirely out of me, only letting the sensitive tip balance on my lower lip, before thrusting back inside the heat of my mouth. I saw stars. I felt like I was going to explode.

  “Aaron, I’m – fuck,” was all Riley managed to say before his fingers tightened in my hair and he moaned loudly, a split second before I tasted the thick hot jets of cum pouring over the back of my tongue and down my throat. He kept moaning my name as he rode out his orgasm, and I milked a few more spurts of cum out of him by licking and sucking on his sensitive cock.

  I wanted to finish myself off while his dick was still in my mouth. I wrapped my hand around myself and pumped quickly, and I didn’t need much coaxing to go over the edge. The white-hot knot of pleasure exploded and I moaned, the sound muffled around his cock, and then felt my own cum overflowing over my fingers.

  Riley pulled out of me, and watched as I swallowed a few times, making sure I got every last drop down. When I licked my lips, he shuddered and I thought he would get hard again, right now.

  “Good fucking Lord, what are you?” Riley mumbled, his voice raspy. “A sex demon or something?”