Love Me, Hate Me: Friends to Lovers Romance

by Hawke Oakley

  “Y-yeah, you see, the problem is that we didn’t mark down the day we got it – silly us – and now we, uh – ”

  “Forgot the due date?” Dr. Z offered.

  I sighed. “Yes.”

  “Hmm.” He adjusted his watch. “Well, that would be a little bit of a problem, wouldn’t it?”

  I felt Riley’s fingers twitch against mine, and I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

  “Sir, it’s my fault,” Riley blurted out. “I – I was too distracting to Aaron over the winter break, and it should’ve been my responsibility to remind him and – ”

  “What?” I spat. “What the hell are you talking about? It’s not your responsibility, if anything it should’ve been mine since I was the host! I was the one all, oh you should stay at my place! And then made you completely forget about it!”

  “Who was the one who bought the tickets?” he countered. “Shit, think about all the time we spent looking at them instead of actually doing work – ”

  “Boys,” Dr. Z interrupted, holding up a hand. “I’ve heard enough.”

  We paused, wide eyed and anxious. Dr. Z’s gaze moved over from Riley to me, then back again to our hands clasped together by our sides. At once we realized what we had been doing the whole time and let go, wiping the clamminess on our jeans.

  I could have sworn Dr. Z smiled.

  “Well, for starters, you’re both in luck, because the bonus assignment isn’t due until tomorrow,” he said.

  We let out a collective sigh of relief.

  “And another thing is that, I’m not entirely sure the bonus assignment is necessary at this point.”

  I blinked. “Huh?”

  “Why not?” Riley asked.

  “This is off the books, and forgive me for asking, but is there… something going on between you?” he asked.

  My jaw dropped, and Riley made a tiny noise of surprise in the back of his throat. “You knew?”

  He shrugged, gently gesturing down to where our hands had just been intertwined. “Lucky guess.”

  Riley was blushing again.

  “But… so that means you don’t want us to do the assignment? Just because we’re dating?” I asked.

  Dr. Z brought his hand up to his chin in thought. “Well, I’ll certainly mark it for a bonus grade, if you’re still interested in doing it – but seeing as the whole point was for you two to understand each other better and get along, I think you’ve both done a better job than what I asked for.”

  Riley and I stared at each other.

  “Oh,” I finally said.

  “Um,” he added. “Okay.”

  I shuffled my feet, feeling awkward and hot all of a sudden. “I mean, yeah, I’ll definitely still hand it in,” I said, my voice cracking. “What about you, Riley?”

  “Yeah, definitely, I mean, it’s almost done,” he mumbled.

  “Fantastic,” Dr. Z said. “Then I’ll see you boys tomorrow in class.”

  “See you, Dr. Z,” I said.

  He closed the door behind him and for a moment, Riley and I just stood there. Then we made for the elevator, and stood in silence for a moment before we burst out laughing.

  It was late and we were finishing up our bonus assignments, typing away furiously at our respective laptops.

  “Hey,” I began.

  “Hmm?”

  “Do you think he did it on purpose?” I asked.

  “Who? Dr. Z?”

  “Yeah. I mean, the guy went out of his way to give the two of us this weirdly intimate bonus assignment, you know?” I said.

  “Yeah, I always just thought that was because we were beating the shit out of each other in the cafeteria, and he didn’t want us to get expelled,” Riley said.

  “Maybe. Or maybe he saw that love was blooming between us and he wanted to play cupid.”

  Riley threw a pillow at me.

  “Oof. Hey!” I cried.

  “Finish your work, cupid, and then we’ll talk,” he said with a grin.

  “Oh, we’ll talk, huh?” I asked. “That all we’re gonna do?”

  “Maybe,” he murmured, gesturing to my laptop. “The faster you type, the more time we have to fuck.”

  That got me going. I buried my face in the keyboard, typing away until my fingers felt like they were gonna fall off. I wrote about Riley – what I already knew, what I‘d learned about him, and most importantly, how he made me feel. It ended up getting really gay at some point, but I mean, that was only natural with how gay we were.

  I tried not to, but I got a little emotional recounting the times we argued and fought, and the horrible dread I had that one night where Lily was trying to seduce Riley. I shuddered at that. Thankfully neither of us had seen her since that one night we’d basically told her to fuck off for good.

  I peered over my laptop screen at him. His brows were furrowed in concentration as he continued typing away, and his tongue was poked out a little. God, he was so cute. I wanted to drop everything and leap at him, smother him in kisses and affection – but I had to wait, otherwise neither of us would ever finish our work.

  “Done,” I said finally, leaning back. I slammed my laptop shut and pushed it aside. “I’ll print it in the morning on the way to class. How about you?”

  “Just about,” he muttered, distracted. “It ended up being longer than I intended.”

  “Oh, really?” I asked. “Why’s that?”

  He shot me a dry glance. “Because I went on and on about how much I love you, you gay idiot.”

  I blushed furiously. “You did not.” I paused. “Did you?”

  He smirked. “Maybe.”

  “Let me read it!” I cried, hopping off the bed and lunging over to him.

  “No way!” He moved his laptop out of the way. “It’s embarrassing.”

  I half-glared at him. “Riley, I’ve seen you naked. I’ve had your dick in my ass. How is this any more embarrassing?”

  He mumbled, “I don’t know, it just is.” He shooed me away. “I’ll show you when it’s done, so go away.”

  “Fine.” I flopped down, facing away from him. “I’m gonna lay here until you’re finished, okay? I just want to feel your warmth.”

  He sighed. “Alright, babe.”

  I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent and absorbing his warmth and feeling nothing but contentedness. We didn’t even need to talk; just being by his side was enough for me. I drifted slightly out of consciousness as he clacked away at his keyboard. Finally, when I was about to doze off, he leaned back and said, “Done.”

  “Mm.” I propped myself up on one elbow, wiping my weary eyes. “Show me now?”

  “Alright,” he said. He pushed the laptop towards me and scrolled to the beginning of the paper.

  “Don’t watch me read,” I mumbled.

  “Fine.” He laid down on my other side so our backs and butts were touching, It was strangely romantic, somehow.

  I began to read Riley’s assignment.

  Aaron is like a bolt of lightning. I never had a reason to doubt the way I'd been going about my life; I thought I'd left any tumultuous stages in the past, and that all I had to do was get through the next few years, sneaking in thrills as I could, that it was normal to live my life in monotone. I really, really forced myself to believe I had everything I needed.

  I wanted to avoid trouble, but trouble found me. He came out of nowhere and dragged me out of the clouds I'd wrapped myself around, showed me that the calm before the storm was only me stuck in a daydream, that I needed to be uprooted completely in order to find myself again.

  Looking at him, my shame melts away and all I can really feel is happiness. I like how you can see everything plainly across his face, that even when he makes an effort to pretend everything is ok it's obvious in the way he fidgets, the way he'll bite his lip or pace around, like he's waiting to finally burst. I have a lot of practice in hiding my emotions, from years of overbearing parents and from trying to stay in line, but he pulled me out of that, brought me face to
face with the self I was so desperately trying to shove back down, showed me that there's value in letting myself just be.

  It's embarrassing to wax poetic about him, especially after the actions I took that lead to me writing this essay in the first place, but if I can allow myself some sort of freedom in front of him, I can allow myself to be vulnerable for just a little longer.

  I'm not my favorite person in the world, and when I say that, it angers him, and that amazes me. When I want to feel like he's ignoring my flaws, painting himself some sort of rosy picture of who I am, he looks me in the eye and I know all I can do is be myself, and and that's something I haven't felt in a long time.

  It's not often that you meet someone who saves you from yourself.

  Epilogue

  “Are you sure she’s not gonna kick me off?” Riley muttered.

  “Can’t promise that,” I said. “Her name is Bucky, after all.”

  Riley groaned. He was sitting warily on my horse’s back, looking like these were his final moments of life. He was gripping the reigns too tight, and his thighs were shaking as they gripped Bucky’s sides.

  “You have to loosen up,” I said. I took his hands and lowered them. “Relax your arms. She’s responding to the reigns, and if you’re grabbing them for dear life she’s gonna get confused.”

  Riley sighed and nodded as I continued to adjust him. “I didn’t realize horseback riding was this much effort.”

  I laughed. “Nope. Nobody does until they try it for themselves.” I put my hand on his knee, then snaked up his thigh.

  “H-hey!” he cried. “No funny business while I’m on the horse.”

  “No funny business,” I promised with a grin. “Relax your thighs. You’re squeezing her too much.”

  “I feel like I’m gonna fall off if I don’t,” he muttered.

  “You won’t fall. I’m right here,” I promised. “When you squeeze your thighs, that’s a green light to her – and the tighter you squeeze, the faster she’s gonna take off. And I’m pretty sure that’s not what you want.”

  “God, no,” he muttered, forcing his legs to relax.

  I heard chuckling from behind us.

  “Take him for a spin, Buck!” Beth called. She was leaning on the paddock fence, along with Caroline and Molly. It was our idea for Riley to come over during the summer, especially since he had smoothed things over with his parents – but it was Molly’s idea to teach him how to ride.

  Somehow, I don’t think Riley appreciated it just yet.

  He squirmed in the saddle, holding onto the horn for dear life. Bucky snorted a sigh. Though she’d been working at a kid’s riding camp for years, even she was getting tired of Riley’s inexperience. She pawed at the sand with her hoof as if to say “Come on, already!”

  “I’ll take her lead, okay?” I promised. “All you have to do is sit there.”

  “What is she gonna do?” he asked. He looked so fucking cute sitting up there with a riding helmet strapped to his head.

  “It’s okay. We’re just gonna walk,” I said. “C’mon, Buck. Easy, girl.”

  Glad to finally be moving, Bucky followed my lead and walked beside me. “How you holding up, big guy?” I asked Riley.

  “Uh,” he said. “Good. This isn’t so bad.”

  “Told you.”

  Beth started cheering enthusiastically from the fence. “Look at you, jockey man!”

  “We’ll see you in the Olympics next year, eh?” Molly added.

  “Oh, shut up!” he muttered.

  The girls laughed. If I didn’t know any better I’d say even Bucky was nickering with amusement.

  We took it easy, doing a gentle walk around the sand ring. I watched Riley slowly relax in the saddle, and now he actually seemed to be enjoying it.

  “There you go,” I said. “Nice, isn’t it?”

  He couldn't help a smile. “Yeah, it is.”

  “Give her a pat,” I said. “Tell her she’s a good girl.”

  Shyly, Riley leaned down to stroke Bucky’s neck. “You’re a good girl,” he murmured.

  She gave a little snort in response.

  “What does that mean?” he asked, retracting his hand as if he’d done something wrong. “Is she mad?”

  I laughed. “God, you’re so clueless. It’s adorable.”

  He grumbled.

  “She’s fine. Hell, I think she likes you.”

  Riley sounded happy. “Really? How can you tell?”

  “Well, she’s not kicking you off, for one thing,” I said with a laugh. Her ears are forward and her face is relaxed. She’s probably enjoying the sunshine and exercise.”

  Riley liked this, and smiled as he reached down to pet her some more.

  “You look good on a horse,” Beth called as we passed them on the fence again. “What else are you good at riding?”

  Riley sputtered. “Hey!”

  “Hay is for horses,” I said, then we burst out laughing – except for Riley, who was too busy blushing and being embarrassed.

  “You ready for a trot?” I asked.

  “What? No, no – this is fine.”

  “C’mon. It’s fun.” I grinned. “I’ll hold the lead, okay? She’s not gonna run off.”

  Riley let out a noise like a whimper and groaned. “Fine. But you owe me for this.”

  I shot him a mischievous glance, then said too quietly for anyone else to hear, “I’ll give you a good reward later.”

  That got his attention. He swallowed visibly. “Okay, then. Let’s trot.”

  “Now we’re talking. Ready, Buck?”

  She was always ready. That horse loved a good trot. She gave me a snort, I gripped the lead, and we were off. I picked up my pace, turning my walk into a jog. She went into her next fastest gait.

  “Remember,” I called to Riley. “Don’t grip her too tight. I’ve got her, so don’t worry.”

  “Alright,” he said.

  Running on sand was a bitch, but I loved the feeling of running side-by-side with my horse. It felt amazing to be reunited with her again, and it was all thanks to Riley. Yeah, I was definitely gonna give him a reward later.

  “How is it?” I asked, panting.

  “It’s… cool,” Riley said with a laugh. “It’s really cool.”

  “Told you!”

  We did a couple more tours around the sand ring before my muscles finally started to give up.

  “Easy, Buck,” I said, breathless, as we slowed down. She came back down to a walk. We were both sweating in the afternoon heat, but it was worth it to show Riley how amazing riding could be.

  “You ready to come down?” I asked.

  “I think so, yeah,” Riley answered.

  Bucky came to a halt and stood still while Riley carefully swung his leg over her side, and hovered there for a moment.

  “It’s fine, you’re like, barely a foot off the ground,” I said. “But I’ll hold your waist, if you want.”

  I took my opportunity to grab his bare sides, since his shirt had ridden up. He squeaked as he half-fell to the sand.

  “Thanks,” he muttered, looking shy.

  I grinned and undid his helmet, sliding it off and mussing with his hat hair. “You’re welcome, sexy.”

  “I’m the opposite of sexy right now,” he said. “I’m all sweaty and I smell like horse. No offense, Buck.”

  Once again, she took no offense.

  “You’re sweaty?” I said. “I’m the one who ran the horse you were riding around the ring like ten times!”

  “True,” he admitted. “Guess we should, uh, take a shower, then.”

  My eyes widened. “Oh. Yes. We should definitely do that.” I turned to the girls. “Caroline, would you mind, uh, giving Bucky a groom and putting her back in the paddock?”

  “Oh, for sure!” she said, sounding a little confused. “But why – ”

  “They’re gonna go have sex, Caroline,” Beth said.

  “Oh!” Caroline squeaked. “I see.”

  Riley an
d I exchanged glances.

  “I guess there’s no use beating around the bush,” I muttered.

  “Well?” Molly said, smirking and raising a brow. “What are you waiting for. We’ll take care of Bucky. Go.”

  We didn’t need to be told twice.

  We exploded into the bedroom, still sweaty and hot. Neither of us felt the urge to shower anymore after the sudden wave of lust washed over us. I pushed him against the wall, lapping hungrily at his mouth. Both of our already hard cocks pressed together with the fabric of our jeans in the way.

  “I can’t take it any longer,” Riley murmured against my lips. My knee wedged its way in between his, pushing his legs apart. “I need you. Inside me. Now.”

  “Oh?” I gasped. “You want me to fuck you?”

  Riley groaned at hearing the words said out loud, and that made me even harder. Our kissing grew sloppy and raw, fuelled by the passionate heat burning us up inside.

  “Please,” he begged. I palmed his already hard cock through his briefs, feeling it twitch underneath my hand. It was hard and thick and I bit my lip in anticipation. “Please, please, Aaron.”

  With a growl, I flipped him over and pushed him onto the bed. My heart raced when he frantically began tearing his underwear off. “Oh my God, fuck,” he mumbled. “Hurry, I can’t take this.”

  I leaned over him, my bare chest pressing into his back, and murmured into his ear, “I need to prepare you.”

  He whined into the mattress, even though he knew I was right. I fumbled for the lube and flipped the lid off. I doused my fingers and let the excess drip onto Riley’s ass. He twitched slightly at the sudden coldness of the fluid.

  “Sorry. You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, it’s fine,” he mumbled. “Please, you’re killing me here.”

  Slowly, I eased my lubed fingertip inside him, pushing past the tight muscle and making him moan. I’d barely started fucking him – with a single finger, no less – and the heat and pressure were already building up in my belly. My cock strained as I watched him stiffen and scrabble at the sheets with pleasure. The feeling of being penetrated was like no other and I knew he was probably already going crazy with lust, even though I barely had half a finger inside him.