She rose and cleared her dishes to the side of the sink then said her farewells, reminding Ellie about talking to herself. Ellie didn’t disclose the fact she’d been thinking of Holly and Leah at the time of her mishap. Her heart ached for them both in different ways. She wanted to be so close to Holly their skins would never be more than inches apart, but wondered if they would ever make it. With Leah, it was teaching her everything useful. How to survive in a world that was hard and wasn’t always kind. She would help with that, if Leah and her parents allowed it. If Leah continued to be in her life was uncertain for many reasons. Ellie could only work through her own doubts and insecurities.
Ellie finished the strapwork and the tops of the walls where they joined the panelled ceiling in the same small bedroom she had worked in that morning. She pulled back her shoulders and puffed out her cheeks, glowing with pride as she looked around the room. Her eyes followed the row of intricate detail that stood proud from the wall. A golden shade of yellow had been a good choice from the list she’d supplied to the owner. It was the one she’d have chosen if the house had been her own. In fact, very few of the choices differed from her own, which surprised her. Normally, owners had a completely different view of Ellie’s vision but she never argued. They were paying the bills, and they had to live with their choices. If she’d been the type, a few times, she could have said I told you so, but she never did.
The vibrating of her phone in her pocket disturbed her thoughts. She fished it out, and looked at the display—Mick was coming up as the message sender.
“TEN MINUTES AWAY,” it read. “GET THE KETTLE ON.” Ellie laughed at how much Mick liked his capital letters. She replied in lower case… “will do.”
In fact, they arrived in twenty minutes, but it gave Ellie time to make the short video of her progress. She was waiting for them at the front so she could redirect them to the rear, expecting them to arrive with the caravans.
After Mick got out of his beamer, he hugged Ellie with gusto. “Good to see you my sweet, Colleen,” he whispered in her ear. “It seems ages since the last time. We couldn’t wait to see you, so we sloped off early.”
She slapped him playfully on the arm. “Oh, you flatterer,” she said coyly. Ellie felt as though her comfy cushion had arrived. Not only did Mick and his lads bring years of combined experience to a job, but they also brought a hard work ethic and huge amounts of talent. “So what about the caravans? Decided against it?”
“Well,” he said before lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke skyward. “I asked the lads, and they said they’d like to be indoors with proper toilets. After I’d called them all kinds of unmanly names, we decided on a B&B. Darling B&B to be precise. They got first class reviews in Trip Advisor, and I did manage to get her down a little on price for a block booking.” He guffawed loudly. “I know. I’m tight, so I can’t resist asking. Actually, she didn’t mind at all when she found out where we were working.”
“I’m at the same place! She seems a good sort, Brenda.” Mick nodded in agreement. “Come on, I’ll show you around, and we can run through the worksheets. I started on the smallest bedroom and finished the strapwork and high edges just before you texted me.”
“Showing off, more like,” said Mick, “but that’s okay. I’m not proud.” He winked at her then encouraged his entourage to follow them.
“I’ll have to make it fairly quickly,” said Ellie. “I’ve got a date with a prawn curry.”
30
The fork clattered loudly on Jude’s plate. “Dizzy sod,” she said berating herself, snatching it up quickly. She licked the unwelcomed sauce from the handle and then proceeded to mix the curry with the rice again, before forking in another mouthful. “I dropped it because I’m so eager to get it in my mouth.” She grinned from ear to ear. “Ellie, it tastes wonderful. I can’t say you’ve surpassed yourself, because it’s the first time. All I will say is… you’ll do for me.”
Ellie turned up the corners of her mouth. “Thanks,” she replied seriously. “It’s always nice to have my work appreciated.”
Jude pointed the fork at her. “It’s well appreciated, believe me. I’m going to freeze the rest for when you go home.”
“Or I can make special trips and cook up some batches for you,” she answered. After a few seconds, she laughed. “That’s not me being clingy, by the way. Just an offer from a friend.”
Jude scraped the remaining sauce onto the last piece of her half of nan bread, dipped it in raita, and put the whole lot into her mouth. “Don’t think I’ll turn down the offer,” she said with her mouth full, “because I won’t.” She smiled with her eyes. A soft smile—one of contentment and relaxation. “Can I ask what your significant other does for a living? Doesn’t he mind being a lone parent for weeks on end?”
The question caught Ellie by surprise and was amazed when she felt like laughing aloud. “I don’t have a significant other and never have.” Ellie’s bottom lip travelled over her top one—her usual thinking expression. After a short while, she continued. “I conceived my son after insemination by a donor.”
Jude nodded in understanding. “I can’t believe how you can be so brave. Did you think you were taking a risk, knowing that further down the line, the right man might turn up, and then him not accepting the situation?” Jude rested her elbows on the table, cupping her head in her hands, staring intently at Ellie, fully absorbed in the conversation.
Ellie shook her head. She took a small sip of cranberry juice before continuing. “There won’t be a right man because I’m a lesbian.” Ellie waited for a reply but just saw Jude raise her eyebrows a little. “Whether or not a woman came into my life didn’t make a difference. If she was the right one, she’d love my son almost as much as I did. I would know.” Ellie swallowed knowing now the whole scenario was irrelevant. She was alone. The thought led to Holly and Leah, but her mind refused to be drawn. Not the time or place.
“So who’s looking after your bairn while you’re away? Mum and Dad being supportive again?” Jude’s lips played with a smile, thinking she was giving Ellie a gentle ribbing.
“He’s dead.”
Jude’s slight smile morphed into horror before Ellie’s eyes, obviously questioning the words she’d just heard. She pushed away her chair and was around the table in a few strides. From behind Ellie, Jude’s long arms enfolded her in a hug and squeezed tightly, almost knocking the wind from Ellie’s lungs. “Oh, Ellie, I’m so sorry. If I’d only known, I wouldn’t have said anything.” Her lips kissed the top of Ellie’s head. Not a sexual act, but one in which two souls communicate through contact—a commingling of colliding thoughts.
A couple of minutes passed before Jude spoke, never once releasing her grip. “Would you like to talk?” she asked, as she squeezed again gently. The pressure seemed to force tears from Ellie’s eyes, rolling down as she shook her head. Jude removed her arms and sat on the corner of the table, and Ellie retrieved a tissue from her bag.
“I’m sorry for the abruptness. I don’t seem to be able to make it feel any better dressing it up.” Ellie wiped her cheeks and dried her eyes.
“You don’t have to be sorry. You’ve lost something precious from your life, so we’ll leave it at that. You’ll speak about him as and when you’re ready.” She lifted Ellie’s chin with her large calloused hands, making sure they had eye contact. “Why don’t you stay over tonight, just so you have a bit of company? I have two spare bedrooms, and you can take your pick. We can have a drink, relax, and watch some movies. I can even supply the popcorn.”
Ellie gazed into Jude’s eyes, wishing she were with Holly. A single tear escaped her left eye. Again, she felt as though she was unfaithful to a woman with whom she shared only friendship. Jude wiped away the tear with a single sweep of her thumb.
“I have some work to do,” Ellie replied feebly. “I don’t want you to feel as though I’m ignoring you.”
“Oh, is that all,” she said as she reached down the table for her beer bot
tle, glugging down the remaining contents eliciting a loud burp. “Pardon,” she said with a grin.
Ellie could feel her face relaxing, her decision already made. “I’ll have to wash and dry my underwear and borrow some nightwear,” she said, sheepishly.
Jude screwed up her eyes and pinched her face, as though in deep thought. “Well, I have washing powder and a pair of pyjamas. Will those do?” Ellie nodded. “The downside is, you will have to dry your smalls in front of the fire. No radiators and no tumble dryer. Sorry. The upside is, you’ll have a fire and guard if you take the larger bedroom, so you can dry them there.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” said Ellie, as she wiped imaginary perspiration from her brow. “I don’t know how I would have coped, having you and my smalls in the same room.”
Jude’s face reddened a little beneath her tan in a rare moment of embarrassment. “Come with me. I’ll get you sorted out.”
Within half an hour, Ellie had her washing sorted and her underwear resting on the side of the fireguard. She was dressed in Jude’s checked pyjamas with the bottom’s rolled up three times. On her feet, she wore Jude’s slippers, only one size too big, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. She made her way down the stairs carefully, making sure she didn’t go tip over toe. She discovered Jude in the kitchen baking, the air filled with the aroma of fresh yeast and proving bread. One batch sat on both corners of the hearth proving, the two earthenware bowls covered with clean tea towels. Jude had changed into a vest, presumably to cope with the intense heat being generated by both fire and Aga. Muscles rippled in her arms and shoulders as she kneaded. Ellie thought they looked good on her.
Jude looked up when she heard Ellie shuffle in. “Do you want a cuppa while you do your work?” she asked generously.
Ellie nodded. “It’s okay. You carry on with what you’re doing. I’ll make it. Are you having one?”
Jude lifted her head. “Please,” she answered, as she added dried fruit to a batch of dough she was kneading. “I left your laptop and your car keys in the lounge,” she added. Again, she never lifted her head.
“Thanks,” replied Ellie, placing the cup of tea on the table beside Jude’s hand. “I’ll see you in a little while. Only phone calls and emails, so it shouldn’t take long.”
Ellie left Jude in the kitchen… humming.
The lounge was warm and inviting, the welcome of lavender scent swept around Ellie as she sat in an old recliner. The table beside her had a ceramic bowl containing dried lavender flowers, her laptop and phone plugged into her charger. A piece of paper had the password for Jude’s Wi-Fi. Ellie was impressed by the woman’s attention to detail.
Ellie picked up the phone, letting the lead trail across her lap. She checked the time and knew Leah would be nearly ready for bed. She’d video chat her first. Before she could connect, her phone buzzed. It was a message from Ciara. “Hope all’s well,” it read. She decided to answer after she’d spoken to Leah.
Leah answered Ellie in seconds, the picture taking a while to settle down before they saw each other clearly. Ellie could tell she was in bed by the familiar sight of the headboard and Leah’s favourite bedding covering the pillow. Leah waved and sported a big grin, mirrored by Ellie.
“Hello, sweetheart! How are you?” she asked tentatively.
Leah pushed her hair back with one hand and gave a little bounce, which she did so often. It was such a familiar sight, it made Ellie’s heart hurt.
“I’m having a good week so far at school. We have IT tomorrow… I like that,” she said, excitement evident in her voice. “Dad’s coming over tomorrow for dinner as well, and I’m cooking. Mum will look on, she says.” Leah tittered. “Although—”
Ellie raised her hand. “No!” she said. “Don’t say anything.”
The comment only made Leah laugh louder, and she flung herself back on the bed, making the picture bounce up and down. “Okay, I won’t. I’m making something your dad told me about, called…” She halted for a while as the picture began to stutter and freeze. Then it disconnected altogether.
Ellie tried again but was told the signal was too weak, so she sent a message instead. First, she apologised for not video chatting from work as she’d promised, explaining the signal was much too weak. Then she asked Leah to pass a message to her mum, saying Ellie would phone her later in the evening, and she would phone Leah at the weekend to find out how her dad had received the meal. Ellie puzzled a moment over Phil’s visit. Had he waited for Ellie to go away before he made a move on his wife and daughter? Was Ciara right about him wanting them back and his current girlfriend merely acting as a smokescreen?
She logged on to her laptop and then plugged her phone into it. While she downloaded the short video, she drank the rest of her tea, then slurred her way into the kitchen and washed her mug. She retrieved Jude’s from the table and washed that too, to the sound of Jude knocking the hell out of her dough.
“Just have to put this lot into loaf tins while the others prove. Then I can join you if that’s okay,” she asked, tilting her head questioningly to one side.
Ellie thought she looked cute, sporting a dab of flour at the side of her nose and some on the tip of her left breast. “Yes, it’ll be fine. My video is downloading now, ready to send, then a couple of texts and we’re done. I do have another phone call to make later, but I’ll do that when I’m in bed.”
Jude narrowed her eyes as she thumped the dough. “You’re not going to have phone sex and spoil my beauty sleep, are you?” she asked seriously… then burst into laughter.
Ellie closed her eyes and shook her head, as she made for the door. “I’m not even going to dignify that remark with an answer,” she said over her shoulder.
“Guilty as charged, I think,” was the reply with yet another bout of laughter.
31
Holly cleared the dishes into the kitchen and prepared them for the dishwasher. She stood at the sink in a daze, rinsing the plates and disappeared into a world of her own. She hoped she hadn’t jumped the gun. She’d explained to Phil now was the time to have the promised talk with Leah. She hadn’t added the name of the woman who had made her make the decision. It was none of his business, but she knew he would jump to the right conclusion. Holly hoped she wasn’t making a terrible mistake, given the current mood between herself and Ellie. Perhaps the problem, whatever it was, wouldn’t go away.
She could tell he was shocked by her announcement. He wasn’t prepared, she could tell by the look that crossed his face. His features registered surprise, but also something else she couldn’t pin down. Sorrow? Regret? He’d asked her more than once if she was sure about her decision, and she’d assured him, she was. Holly didn’t go as far as telling Phil she was in love with Ellie, but surely, he must have realised by now how serious she was. Why else would she put her daughter through something like this if it wasn’t completely necessary? Phil must know she wouldn’t.
Guilt raged through her body. How could she explain Ellie knew nothing of her decision to make this dramatic leap? Their status remained only friends, but now even that was in question. She still hadn’t had a chance for a decent heart-to-heart with Ellie. When faced with the opportunity, she’d backed down. Sullen didn’t suit her personality, but she knew that’s how she must surely be coming across. She made two cups of coffee and followed the bursts of laughter emanating from the lounge. Holly hoped she wasn’t taking her daughters laughter away by having this heart-to-heart. Even the thought of doing that just might kill her.
When she entered the lounge, Phil immediately switched off the TV, which neither he or Leah was watching. Holly saw his hand tremble as he took his coffee cup. His eyes were sad and disappointed. He looked as though he wanted to be anywhere other than the lounge. Leah looked at the serious faces of her parents and grabbed her bottle of water, her mouth suddenly parched.
Holly sat opposite them both, and she blew the top of her coffee, nervously.
“What’s wrong, Mum?” Leah asked in a d
ubious tone, not really wanting to know the answer when she saw the look on her mum’s face. When Holly didn’t answer her question, she asked again. “Mum, what’s wrong? You’re not ill, are you?”
At the sight of her daughter’s eyes brimming with tears, Holly’s followed suit. She glanced at Phil as he put a protective arm around his daughter’s shoulder.
“Leah, when your dad and I decided to live apart, we made a promise to each other.”
Leah’s eyes were wide as she quickly turned and looked at her dad. “You’re not sick, are you, Dad?” she stuttered through a short breath.
He closed his eyes slightly and shook his head. “No, sweetheart, I’m fine and so is your mum. It’s just you’ve reached an age where we need to talk to you about grown-up stuff. It’s not easy for either of us.”
A look of relief swept over Leah’s face. “Oh, is that all,” she said a smile spreading quietly across her face. “You don’t have to be bothered about all the birds and bees stuff. We’ve had sex-ed since I was nine.” The smile turned into a laugh. “Is it okay for me to go to my room now?”
Both parents shook their heads simultaneously. “No, Leah, not yet. It’s not about the birds and bees directly, darling,” said Holly, her skills as a good communicator deserting her.
Leah stared across the room at her mother. She knew instinctively her mum needed a hug, so she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her. She glanced at her dad, who was shielding his eyes with his hands.
“What’s wrong, Mum,” she whispered. “Please tell me,” she implored. “You keep telling me things aren’t as bad as you think they are, and you’re right… so tell me.”
Holly and Leah’s eyes locked. Holly nodded. “All right, sweetheart.” Holly broke to take a huge gulp of coffee to lubricate her quickly drying throat. “When you were being taught the sex education, did they explain about other relationships? Men loving men and women loving women?” Holly asked in a low voice. Out of her peripheral vision, she could see Phil leaning forward, trying to hear the conversation.
The Harbinger Page 26