The Timeless One

by Lexy Wolfe

  Storm tugged his hand lightly, urging him to sit down beside her again. "The past is what it is. Dwelling on what could have been or wish would have been different is an exercise in futility and a sure path to madness. The future will be what it will be, sometimes no matter the precautions or preparations we make. There is no point on dwelling on either past or future." He looked at her profile as she resumed her meditative posture. "Whether we go out to meet challenges or they come upon us, all we can do is be ready to face them when they are there."

  "You make it sound so easy," Terrence said bitterly. "Nor are you answering my question." Storm only smiled sadly, saying nothing.

  Chapter 21

  Ash hastily shrugged into his robe and cloak. His irritation increased when he had trouble with the cloak's clasp, sleep deprivation making him fumble with it. He stalked out into the chill dampness of late winter, heading towards the tree line. The winds howled far above in the looming ridges of Fortress ominously. Those few villagers who were outside quickly moved out of his path, some looking as though they wanted to ask if there was a problem but not daring to when they saw his eyes.

  Alone in the forest, the mage leaned against an ancient tree that appeared little more than a sapling compared to the Forentan giants. His frustration unbearable, he shouted incoherently and repeatedly punched the side of the tree until his fist bled. He finally stopped when he felt his hand fracture. Resting his forehead against the rough bark of the trunk, he gritted his teeth as he desperately sought his normally disciplined calmness.

  You are angry with me, the voice of the Knowing One whispered in his mind.

  "You noticed that, did you, Mother?" Ash growled sarcastically as he turned, sliding against the tree to sit on the ground, holding his injured hand against himself. "Were you ever going to tell me about Terrence being a Githalin? Or were you hoping I would be the fool and remain completely ignorant?"

  It was not my place to tell you, Ash, the Knowing One stated evenly. Terrence wished to tell you himself. But by the time he found the courage to face you, the Dusvet nearly died. He did not wish to be any more of a burden to you than he believes himself to be, as he especially believes now.

  "A burden to me? Terrence has never been a burden to me," Ash snapped. "Who put that fool idea in his head?"

  You did, the goddess replied simply. Not directly. He has only wished to please you. To prove himself worthy in your eyes. You know this. You have just refused to admit this to yourself.

  Ash scoffed at the accusation. "I would not have chosen him as my student if I did not consider him worthy. I suffered with Amelana to ensure he would be my student." Too tired to attempt healing himself, Ash watched his hand with a perverse fascination as the injuries began to bruise and swell, blood oozing from the abrasions. "He was so much like I was at his age. I could see the potential he had within him."

  Did he know that? Or did he only see your higher ranking student he had to compete with for your attention? Interpret what she did that displeased you as things he should not do to please you? Masters teach by example, and Terrence is very perceptive. I would not have chosen him as my Illaini otherwise, the goddess pointed out sternly. And usually you would make certain what he perceived was correct. But you did not do that for the things you did not realize you were teaching him.

  Ash scowled, looking skywards. "So this is my fault that he has..." Grimacing, he bit off his words.

  The voice in his mind was implacable. Say it. That he has been tainted by the Desanti Totani. It is what you truly feel of your lifemate as well.

  "I did not say that," Ash denied in a low voice. "I did not mean..." There was no response, though the presence in his mind remained. Finally, he sighed in defeat. "How many others knew before me? I'm the... an Illaini Magus, and I did not see it? I am supposed to see what others do not or cannot. Or will not. He made me look like an ignorant fool!"

  Do not be ridiculous. Who else but an Illaini Magus could hide something from another Illaini Magus? the voice in his mind pointed out mildly. Only three others knew before you did. Githalin Skyfire. Your spirit brother Nolyn.

  Ash laughed tiredly, resting his head against the tree. "Nolyn. It would figure. He's a way of finding out the damnedest things." He sighed. "Who else?"

  The goddess was silent for a moment before she finally whispered, Your lifemate.

  Ash sat up, scowling. "Storm knew? And she did not tell me?!" He reflexively hit the root next to him with his injured hand, grimacing and swearing under his breath. "She accuses me of not trusting her, but she doesn't trust me, either!" In a low voice as he hugged his abused hand, he murmured, "None of them trust me."

  It was no more Storm's place to tell you than it was Mine or anyone else's. It was Terrence's responsibility how he wished his secret revealed. He revealed it now at her insistence. Terrence's initial bond to the Totani Dzee was imperfect because she made the bond before you rejoined her spirit and physical self. It threatened to consume him. He would have been lost to all of us in madness but for Skyfire realizing what was wrong and instructing him how to call the Totani to him so she could end or mend the bond.

  The goddess was silent a moment as Ash realized the direness of the situation. "Terrence nearly died?"

  His death would have been an indirect result, the Knowing One corrected. The part of Dzee within him warred with the mage in his mind, threatening to lead him to an insanity that would only have ended in his death. That he lasted as long as he had is a testament to the strength you saw within him.

  "I am surprised the Githalin did not confront him about it sooner," Ash said musingly. "I would have thought Storm would have noticed something herself before."

  Both Githalin Swordanzen had other things to concern themselves with, and Terrence was very good at concealing his condition from everyone, even the Desanti. Storm is unique, even among Desanti. Other Swordanzen are only nominally aware of the presence of Totani, and Githalin normally only sense the Totani they have met with ease. However, the Totani are Storm's tribe as much as she counts you and the others as her tribe. Even if she is not consciously aware of that bond which has allowed her to endure longer than any other Swordanzen since the Great War.

  "And Desanti tribesmen have bayuli-volsha ties between them," Ash murmured. "So she would have sensed Dzee's presence nearby, and Terrence is the only one to have been touched by Dzee. She would have figured it out." He sighed heavily. "Am I such an ogre that they hide things from me? Even Storm does not tell me things." He closed his eyes, cradling his hand. "No one trusts me."

  My son, they do trust you. And they love you. But you do have a temper, and your disapproval can wound deeply. The goddess whispered in his mind, You have never noticed because you had been so used to focusing on those who antagonize you, you do not see those who love you, or what your anger does to them.

  Storm, however, is an entirely different matter, the goddess stated dryly. Your lifemate's pride is akin to your own. You do not share your secrets easily either. Gently withdrawing from his mind, the Knowing One said softly, There is a time to criticize. And to accept. You know this, my son. It is time you remember it.

  "I know, Mother," Ash stated quietly, closing his eyes as he rested his head against the tree again. "I know. I need to remember more often." His eyes snapped open when something snarled in the shadows and he looked to see a pair of glowing yellow eyes staring at him. He got to his feet slowly, eyeing the creature in the evergreen's shadow warily.

  When it leapt at him, he snapped a spell that caught the thing in mid leap, holding it in place in midair as its slavering jaws snapped at him. Once caught, though, he was uncertain what to do with it. He studied the furiously struggling monstrosity. "Well, I couldn't call you a darkling. You don't have near the intelligence they do." The creature snapped at him, writhing in the grip of the spell holding him. Ash grimaced, focusing on tightening the hold as it tried to worm its way free.

  "Well, now. What's this? You ensnared a tempora
l shifter? Pretty impressive for a novice," a voice said from behind him. A woman of Vodani descent wearing a dark grey tunic and trousers emerged, a bow slung across her back. Even without the vivid blue-green slash of color beneath her right eye, she was unmistakably a Guardian. She held up her hands, speaking a few scant words. The entrapped creature shrieked like a kicked dog and vanished, returned to the time stream it had slipped from.

  "Thank you," Ash said tonelessly, not meeting the woman's eyes as he straightened away from the tree.

  "You must be one of Almek's masters-turned-students." She looked him over critically, making thoughtful noises to herself. "I'm Bella." She held out her hand in greeting. "Obviously Unsvet, but titles always seemed an annoyance out here in the wilds."

  "Ash Avarian." He reflexively extended his hand before hesitating as he looked at the bruised, cut and swollen appendage. "Ah, you will excuse me if I do not shake your hand?"

  Bella's eyes widened, staring at his injuries. "Good gods, what did you do to yourself?" Slinging her bow across her back, she pulled out a roll of cloth from one of her backpack's pouches. "Is that healer still with Almek? You should have her see to that." She took his wrist to extend his hand out so she could wrap the worst of the cuts. She flicked a glance over the metallic colors along his wrist. "Illaini Magus, hm? Almek certainly outdid himself with you, didn't he?" She quipped with affectionate amusement in her voice, not a trace of scorn or envy in her tones or demeanor. "No mere master, but a god-touched master. Dremmen will be beside himself."

  "Yes, I am one of them." He looked up finally to study the woman. "You do not seem bothered by it." She glanced up at him with a quizzical expression. "I have heard Master Almek speaking with another Guardian on the matter. Unsvet Jaison. He seemed concerned that those of us with multiple talents will be patently unwelcomed."

  Bella shrugged her shoulder. "Jaison tends to be paranoid, but he's got some cause. There are some who believe unwaveringly that each person is born with only one talent. I got used to the idea of dual talents after I got to know Almek's pet healer."

  The mage pulled his hand back sharply from the woman. "I beg pardon." Ash arched an eyebrow. "'Pet'?"

  The Vodani Guardian winced at his disapproving tone. "Forgive me. A two hundred year old habit is hard to break." Taking his hand back, she finished dressing his injuries. "'Pet' is a... well. A rude term for a non-Guardian who travels with a Guardian. Taylin passed her trials to become Adept. I should respect her for that."

  "But a 'pet'?" Ash's expression was troubled. "Do Guardians consider those who are not blessed by the Timeless One as beneath them? As... slaves?"

  "Oh, goddess, no. It has nothing to do with servitude at all." Bella chuckled ruefully, shaking her head as she secured the bandage. "You've never kept an animal as a pet? Humans tend to outlive animals. Guardians tend to outlive normal humans." She turned to start walking, Ash falling in step with her. "Some Guardians believe we should not involve ourselves with normals too closely because they have short lives like pet animals and the term 'pet' stuck."

  "You do not feel that way, I gather?" He moved a branch out of the way for Bella out of habit, the woman chuckling as she accepted the courtesy.

  "Depends on the normal, to tell the truth. Some are spineless, simpering idiots who are not even worthy of being considered human. I've seen animals with more dignity. They're just kept around by those Guardians who need their egos stroked. Others..." Bella sighed. "I have had many non-Guardian companions. Some I was very… close to. It is hard to watch them age and deteriorate, to let them go when it is their time. Harder when I continue on mostly unchanged, while they wither into old age." She looked skyward, smiling wistfully. "But I would never give up the decades I had been able to share with any of them."

  Ash dropped the topic in favor of a different one. "A two hundred year old habit." He appraised her openly. "You do not seem that old."

  Bella's laugh was loud, startling several birds from their roosts. "I am two hundred thirty-seven. I am that old, yes. But thank you for the compliment. One of the blessings of the Timeless One for Her mortal servants is very slowed aging."

  The mage considered the woman next to him. "Almek is a little more than twice your age and looks... ragged," Ash pointed out bluntly.

  "If Almek would stay at Fortress more instead of roaming the lands, he'd likely seem only a handful of years older than you." She snorted softly. "It is his own fault."

  Ash looked sharply at Bella. "Guardians must remain at Fortress?"

  "What?" Bella paused a moment, staring at Ash in confusion before understanding dawned. "Oh. No, it is not required. Once you are a Guardian, you can go wherever you wish. New Guardians often return where they feel most comfortable. For a while. Until a few decades of watching those around them being born, aging, and dying have passed. It becomes a heavy weight on the soul that only being among others with similar longevity can mask."

  More briskly, the woman continued, "Here within the Timeless One's territory, time behaves... differently... especially for those of us who have been marked as Hers." They paused by a wide stream. Holding her hand out, she focused her attention on the water. Ash's eyes widened as the water froze and she walked across the surface while the flow continued beneath the temporal bridge.

  He tentatively took a step onto the water's surface. "Incredible," he murmured as the surface was a firm as the ground.

  Bella looked back at him. "What? Oh, this?" She waited long enough for Ash to cross before releasing the flow of time and the water resumed flowing normally again. "It's easy enough to do when you understand how time flows through all things. Chaos, order and time are a part of everything, after all. We Guardians learn to see the flow of time and command it. Not everyone can, though. It can become rather complicated."

  "I have been able to bend time while working Forentan magic." Ash glanced at the gleaming Guardian mark on her cheek. "And we train in skills Guardians perform. What difference would there be whether I became a Guardian or not?"

  The Vodani woman shrugged. "Well, one of the Timeless One's blessings when you receive your color is your aging all but stops."

  Ash's thoughts went immediately to the short lived Desanti. "An advantage, certainly, but Forenten already have a considerable life expectancy compared to the other races."

  Bella shook her head, waving a hand. "No, no, no. I meant..." She exhaled, waving her hands irritably that he misunderstood her words' meaning. "Gods do not give without reason. Being nearly timeless is called a blessing, but it is really a necessity. Wielding time affects the wielder. The greater the effort, the greater the effect. There have been some occasions a normal has discovered how to bend time without being a Guardian. If you were to wield it more so than you do now? You would physically be a century when you are less than fifty." Pausing to regard Ash, Bella said in a quiet voice, "An Unsvet Guardian could potentially live for up to twenty-five hundred years, but it's very rare. In the early centuries, aging regresses to one's physical prime."

  "So, Almek's aging is because he left Fortress and was wielding temporal energies so often," Ash stated as they resumed walking. "If he remained, he could extend his life five times?"

  "Almek is different. No one knows or at least, no one remembers the potential of how old a Dusvet can become." With a critical sniff, Bella stated flatly, "And with Almek being Her Sentinel? Well, let's just say, it is best not to compare anyone to him." Before Ash could ask for more explanation, she moved onto a new topic. "I hear you and his other students managed to discover some new tricks, blending energies as you had, so there is some justification for his incessant wanderings." Sparkling eyes studied him. "Did you really create a portal all the way from Forenta?"

  Ash nodded. "I and my lifemate did. Without her extraordinary vision, I would not have even realized the possibility." When Bella straightened, her expression a mixture of curiosity and surprise, he said, "Githalin Swordanzen Storm il'Thandar."

  Bella's eyes lit u
p. "A Desanti?! Almek finally brought a Desanti in? And one who is a Githalin Swordanzen! Oh, I cannot wait to meet her! I have not seen a Desanti since I was still a girl and our pod ported in Home Port for a year. They used to terrify me." She hopped up onto a rope bridge, cheerfully holding her hand to Ash to help him up to the step off point. "Hope you aren't afraid of heights, Illaini Magus."

  He looked down at the ravine, barely half the height of his tree home and smiled faintly. "Not at all, thank you for your concern." Following her across, he asked after a moment, "You are unsurprised about a Desanti having left Desantiva?"

  "Eh. It was bound to happen. Almek keeps visiting the place. At least one of them was bound to have Guardian talent enough for him to put more effort to coaxing one out someday." Bella grinned at him over her shoulder as she crossed the bridge. "I am rather surprised about the lifemate part. Never would have guessed two mortal enemies would pair up." She grinned impishly at him. "But, then again, you do seem the sort who likes your women exotic. I bet you have a few halfbreed children from Vodanya and Sevmana running around the Sundered Lands as well."

  Ash scowled darkly, stopping just as he stepped off the bridge. "I beg your pardon?"

  "Oh, stop ruffling your feathers at me, Illaini Magus." Bella waved a hand. "I mean that you would find your own people's women tiresome and boring. It is not as unusual as some would like to believe. Many find their own kind lacking in something they're yearning for. Most men always seem to want a little more spice, especially in bed." She hopped down to the lower ground lightly.

  "Storm is not 'a little more spice.'" He stated flatly, "She is my life."

  The woman stopped short and turned, regarding Ash in silence, all levity from her expression gone. "I definitely have to meet this woman. Come on. Someone is bound to be looking for you, and Sharindel is convoluted for natives to navigate, much less new people."

  Chapter 22