What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 2)

by Vi Keeland

  “Please have a seat and tell me a little about yourself.” Helen smiled.

  I briefly told Helen about my life. I started with my family, moved onto my friends and ended with Garrett and why I was here to see her.

  “Now that you have explained to me your situation, I would like to ask you a couple questions,” Helen said. “First of all, what would you like to achieve from your sessions?”

  I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders.

  “Surely, you have some idea on what you would like to accomplish by coming to see me,” Helen replied.

  “To be honest, I am really not sure what I want to accomplish. I guess I am here because. . .” I let out a big sigh.

  “Leila,” her voice kind and reassuring, “anything you say to me does not leave this office. You can come here and tell me absolutely anything you want or you can come here and tell me nothing. Therapy is only going to work if you want it to.”

  “I guess . . . I just don’t want to hurt anymore,” the words just started rushing out of me. “I’ve had this empty feeling inside of me for so long, I don’t know what it feels like to be whole. I keep searching for someone to make me feel like he did but no one does.” I hung my head. “I feel so lost, I just want the old me back and I don’t know how to get back to that place.”

  “I’m not going to lie this is not going to be an overnight fix. It has taken you how long to get this place? Four years? You are going to have to work hard and bring up memories you may not want to talk about, but it is the only way you will be able to heal,” Helen said kindly. “I would like to see you once a week for an hour long session.”

  “I am willing to do anything you tell me to do,” I said.

  For some reason, I trusted Helen. I really wanted to move on with my life. Everything I had done up to this point had not helped. I felt like this could be my last chance to fix me.

  When I left Helen’s office, I couldn’t help but feel hopeful. I had this stupid grin on my face that I couldn’t get off. The thought of once again being happy and leaving this self-destructive lifestyle behind actually made me giddy.

  I got into my car and immediately called Nicole to tell her about my session. I could tell by the sound of her voice, she was pleased that I actually followed through with my appointment.

  “I can’t believe you actually went,” Nicole said flabbergasted.

  “Seriously, I feel better already,” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me to go to therapy three years ago?” I laughed.

  “Honestly, I don’t think you would have listened to me three years ago,” Nicole said seriously. “I am so proud of you for going and I can’t wait to get the old you back.”

  “I love you,” I said.

  “I know you do. I will call you tomorrow. I got a hot date with Michael tonight. I need to shower, do my hair and put on my face,” she laughed.

  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I laughed.

  “Ha! You are too funny. You are way out of my league.”

  As I hung the phone up the last thing Nicole said to me ran through my head. You are way out of my league. I began to realize that all this time I had been whoring around and Nicole hadn’t really dated at all. She would go on the occasional date but always gave me an excuse as to why she didn’t want to go out on a second date. It now dawned on me. She had always been there for me, babysitting me. Fuck me. Not only had I been ruining my life for the past four years, but I had been preventing Nicole from quite possibly finding the man of her dreams.

  Chapter Eight

  The next month and a half flew by. I had been seeing Helen on a weekly basis. During our sessions we talked about everything from Garrett, my mother, work, friends, to life in general. It was really great to have someone to talk to that didn’t judge you on the decisions you had made in the past.

  Overall, everything in my life had been going great. I’d been sleeping without any assistance from alcohol and cut down on my drinking to almost nothing. I hadn’t brought a man home with me since Adam. I had no clue therapy would help me this much. If I would have known, I would have gone years ago.

  Over the last few weeks, I had picked up extra hours at Danny’s. Jessie, one of the other waitresses was on vacation, and Danny needed someone to cover her shifts and my weekends had also been busy. Katie and I had photographed weddings every weekend since September.

  In keeping my promise to my mother, I called her every few days. Any downtime I had, I spent with Nicole. At first, I was furious with Nicole for telling my mother about my depression. But after seeing Helen, I began to realize how bad I had gotten. Helen encouraged me only to go to Danny’s when I was scheduled to work. She felt Danny’s was one of my “triggers”.

  Just as I was getting out of bed, my cell went off.

  It was a text from Nicole.

  Nicole—

  OMFG! I just won tix to the Halloween Party tonight at Sin Sity. We are so there.

  Me—

  Sin Sity? That’s like a million miles away. . .

  Nicole—

  It’s not a million miles away. It’s only forty-five minutes away! Come on don’t be a baby bitch. We haven’t been out in ages. It’ll be so much fun. We can totally hit the 80’s club and rock an 80’s costume.

  Me –

  I’m not in the mood to drive that far out. You can’t come up with something a little closer.

  Nicole—

  Ummm. . . Hello! I won FREE tickets! These things are worth $25 a piece.

  Sin Sity was a brand new club that opened a few months ago. Our local radio station had been advertising it like crazy. It was four different clubs under one roof. One of the clubs was themed the 1980’s and only played 80’s music. The second was a techno club hosting all the up and coming DJ’s. I heard Pauly D from Jersey Shore was going to be there. The third club had live bands playing on a nightly basis and also served as a pool hall. The fourth club was a swanky martini bar that played jazz and swing music.

  Nicole—

  Come on . . . Don’t be a party pooper. We need this. I need this. I’d do it for you.

  Me—

  Fine! You’re a pain in the ass. I’ll go but . . . You’re driving.

  To be completely honest, deep down inside, I wasn’t sure if I was actually ready to go out. I had made so much progress with my therapy in such a short amount of time. I was beginning to feel like the old me. But the thought of going out to a strange club made me think I couldn’t resist the temptations that would be surrounding me. I was fearful I would slip back into my old habits.

  Chapter Nine

  About an hour later, Nicole showed up at my apartment. Barging her way through my door, in her normal fashion. She had five huge shopping bags in her hands. I just stood there in my kitchen with a look of shock on my face.

  “Are you going to just stand there?” She said jokingly.

  “What the hell is all that?”

  “Our Halloween costumes, I hit the thrift store on the way over. They were having a huge sale, so I bought anything that looked like it was made in the 80’s,” she laughed.

  “Apparently, you did.”

  She dumped the bags on the couch, and we began sifting through the piles of clothes. Nicole found an oversized black and white shirt that had crazy shapes all over it, and I found an oversized gray sweatshirt. We took a pair of scissors to both shirts, cutting one of the shoulders so it would hang off. I also cut the bottom of my shirt to make it cropped. Once my shirt was perfect, I put one of my black camisoles underneath it. I paired it with a pair of fitted ripped jeans that hung very low on my hips and a red pair of stilettos.

  Nicole left her shirt long and added a belt around it. She put on a pair of skin tight black leggings and black stiletto heels. With my hair already wavy, Nicole teased it up and put a ton of hair spray in it. Nicole had pin straight hair, so we crimped it and put a huge black bow in it. Once we were done, I looked like I’d walked off the set of Flashdance, and Nicole loo
ked like one of Madonna’s backup dancers from her Like a Virgin tour. I had to admit we looked pretty hot.

  We gave ourselves a quick glance in the mirror and headed to Nicole’s car. I plugged my iPod into her radio and blasted 80’s music, and we sang along to the songs the entire drive to Sin Sity. About forty-five minutes later we pulled into the packed parking lot. “Damn,” I said in amazement. “This place is huge.” The building stood four stories tall. It had a huge neon sign on the roof that blinked “Sin Sity”.

  As we walked up to the door, we could hear the music blaring from the 80’s club. The club’s name was Totally Rad and a remix of Cruel Summer was playing. Nicole and I turned to each other and smiled, as we knew the night was going to be epic. As Nicole walked up to the bouncer, she told him her name and that she’d won tickets off the radio. He checked his list and our IDs, stamped our hands and we walked in.

  The place was enormous. It puts Danny’s to shame. As we walked through the main entrance, we were a level above the dance floor. To the left of us against the far wall was the bar. It had shelves and shelves of liquor with pink and blue neon lights running under each shelf. To the right and the left of us were tables that overlooked the dance floor. The walls were pitch black and lit only by wall sconces with pink and blue lights. The whole place screamed 1985.

  While we were standing there in awe, a waitress approached us. “What would you ladies like to drink?” She asked. She was dressed like Cyndi Lauper. She wore a poufy lace skirt and a skimpy top that made her breasts pop out. Her hair was all crazy. She wore a ton of blue eye shadow with a million bracelets on her wrists. Nicole ordered a Malibu Bay Breeze and I ordered water. Nicole looked relieved at my order. Tequila was my usual drink of choice, but I didn’t want to take a chance of me going off the deep end again since my therapy was working so well. I was going to try to be on my best behavior. The only reason I was here was for Nicole, and she shouldn’t have to babysit me. The waitress came back with our drinks, and we headed down the stairs to the dance floor.

  As my foot hit the bottom step, I noticed a girl out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to get a better look. She was dressed in a super short black mini dress, her shoes were black stilettos, and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun. She looked like she was ready to film the Addicted to Love video. I recognized her, but I couldn’t figure out from where.

  I tapped Nicole on the shoulder and pointed the girl out to her. “Who is that?”

  “I have no idea,” she said shrugging her shoulders.

  I shrugged my shoulders too and took a sip of water. I worked with so many people between weddings and Danny’s, it could have been anyone. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun came on, and Nicole screamed and dragged me onto the dance floor. We stayed on the dance floor for six or seven songs until I pleaded with her. “I need another drink,” I yelled over George Michael singing The Edge of Heaven.

  We danced our way over to the bar and flagged the bartender down. He was dressed like Michael Jackson. He was even wearing a red leather jacket and one sequin glove. Nicole and I burst out laughing. He walked over with two shots in his hand and put them in front of us. I gave him a strange look.

  “These are from them.” He motioned with his head towards the other end of the bar. Nicole and I looked down and saw two guys who looked like they were cast members from an episode of Miami Vice. Each of them had on light colored sports jackets with skinny ties around their necks. I looked at Nicole with a skeptical look. She nodded her head giving me the it’s ok look. We raised our shot glasses to them and drank. I winced as the shot went down my throat and yelled to the bartender, “A Slippery Nipple?” I gasped.

  The bartender looked at me and laughed. “That is what they ordered.”

  I turned to look back at the guys that had bought the shots and noticed they were making their way over to us. Once they reached us Miami Vice #1 turned to the bartender and ordered more shots. I put my hand up to stop him. “Please, not another slippery nipple. I can’t handle another one of those.”

  Miami Vice #1 laughed, “Well, order what you want then.”

  I paused for a moment . . . “Tequila,” I said to the bartender.

  I immediately turned to see if Nicole had heard my order. Lucky for me she was preoccupied with Miami Vice #2. I reached for one shot, then another. Miami Vice #1 introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Jake and my friend over there is Ryan.” He smiled extending his hand.

  I smiled and clasped his hand, “I’m Leila and Madonna over there is Nicole. Thanks for the shots.”

  “No, problem. Would you like to dance?” He said, leaning into me.

  “Yeah, in a few, we were just out there for a bunch of songs. I need to take a breather.”

  I grabbed Nicole’s arm and pulled her away from Ryan. “You want to go to the bathroom?”

  She nodded her head. We turned to Jake and Ryan. “Excuse us, we will be right back.”

  As we entered the bathroom I turned to her. “So, you and Miami Vice #2 are hitting it off,” I said smiling.

  “Oh my fucking God. Did you just call him Miami Vice?” She laughed hysterically.

  “Well, that is their costume, right? Jesus, please tell me they’re wearing costumes,” I laughed.

  “Yeah, he seems nice enough,” Nicole replied.

  I felt extremely sweaty out on the dance floor, and I needed to cool down. I took a few paper towels and blotted my face. Taking my lipstick out of my purse, I re-applied it and fluffed my hair with my fingers. As I looked into the mirror, I noticed the girl from the dance floor. This time I remembered exactly who she was. I could feel my eyes almost popping out of my head. She also recognized me. I could tell by the look on her face. As soon as she left the bathroom . . . “Holy fucking shit!” I shouted.

  Nicole spun around. “What? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost!”

  “Oh, how I wish she was a ghost. Remember that girl I pointed out to you on the dance floor? That’s the douche of honor that was with Garrett at the wedding!” I began to fan my face with my hands. Not only was I hot from dancing and seeing douchey, now I could feel the tequila working its way into my system.

  “Fuck her!” Nicole said. “She’s not going to ruin our night.” She hooked her arm around mine. “Come on, we have Miami Vice one and two out there. Let’s let them buy us another drink,” she laughed.

  Jake and Ryan were waiting for us at the bar when we returned from the bathroom. They had ordered more shots for us. After I took another shot, I looked around for douchey. Thankfully, I didn’t see her. I let out a big sigh of relief. I’m going to need more shots. . .

  Everybody by Madonna started playing. Nicole screamed, “They’re playing one of my songs!” She grabbed Ryan’s hand, leading him to the dance floor. Jake and I were left standing there awkwardly.

  “You want to dance?” He asked hesitantly.

  I smiled at him. Against my better judgment I grabbed another shot that was sitting on the bar and slung it down my throat. Taking him by the hand I led him to the dance floor. We joined Nicole and Ryan. The four of us had a great time dancing and laughing. Ryan and Jake busted out into the “Thriller Dance” when Thriller was played. Nicole and I laughed so hard, we had tears running down our faces.

  As we began to compose ourselves Careless Whisper by Wham began to play. Jake gently took one of my hands in his and put his other hand on my hip. He pulled me close to him, and I felt my body tense up. I was having such a good time, and I didn’t want to ruin it. I slowly rested my head on his shoulder and let myself relax. He smelled good, despite all the dancing we had done, his cologne had masked any scent of sweat. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the song. The DJ played a few slow songs in a row, and I took complete advantage of it. It felt really good not to have a guy pawing all over me. I was actually feeling normal again. I began thinking to myself maybe I could actually have some sort of a normal relationship.

  As Save a Prayer by Duran Duran was ending, Jake let go
of my hand and slowly lifted my chin. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered…

  I rolled my eyes and laughed nervously. I hadn’t had someone pay me a compliment sober in such a long time. Usually, it was some drunk asshole who wanted to get lucky by telling me I was beautiful so he could get into my pants. Little did they know they would have wound up in my bed no matter what.

  “No, you really are. You’re the most beautiful girl in this room,” he said trying to convince me.

  He leaned in and gently kissed me. I felt my body tense up again as he gripped me tighter around my waist. He noticed. “It’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly.

  He kissed me again, easing his tongue into my mouth. I slowly let all the tension from my body go and kissed him back. It was a very soft and gentle kiss, something I hadn’t experienced in a very long time and the butterflies in my stomach immediately began to flutter.

  As our faces parted, I felt light headed and my eyes scanned the room for Nicole, hoping she didn’t see what just happened. The last thing I needed from her was another lecture. From across the dance floor I saw him. . . Garrett. He was dancing with the douche of honor, but he was glaring at Jake and me. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I pushed away from Jake abruptly.

  “You ok?” He asked with worry in his voice.

  A sharp pain shot through me, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. “Yeah . . . I’m fine. I just need to go outside and get some fresh air,” I said as I slowly walked backwards off the dance floor with my eyes locked on Garrett’s.

  Jake took a step towards me and reached for my elbow to lead me off the dance floor. “I’ll come with you,” he said.

  “No, you stay here. I’ll be right back,” I lied. I was now totally freaking out.

  Nicole noticed me backing off the dance floor and saw the look on my face. “Leila?”

  She turned her head to see what I was looking at. “Oh, shit.” I heard her say. Nicole took my hand. “We’ll be right back,” she said to Jake and Ryan. We began to rush up the stairs and out the front door.