by CS Patra
“I’m thinking! I’m thinking!” Lily held up her hands. “It’s a lot to take in, Jo. I knew you worked in the industry, but to be Black Widow’s Kiss drummer? That was something I had not expected. I guess I am a lucky girl.”
“You are very lucky,” Johanna gave her a kiss. “No girl could ever fill these shoes that you have, Lily. No girl could ever satisfy me the way you do. Seeing you out in the audience made me want to play the best I’ve ever played. It made me want to be the best drummer anyone has ever seen.”
“I make you feel like that?”
“Always. You’ve made me feel that way ever since I laid eyes on you.”
“You’re being too kind.”
“I’m being serious. You’re perfect for me, Lily. I’ve never met a woman quite like you.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you either,” Lily said. “You have changed my life around.”
“I don’t know how I could have done that. I’m just a rock star with rock and roll dreams. At least, that’s what I had until you came along. Now all I want to dream about is you.”
“I haunt your dreams? That’s so sweet of you. If it’s any consolation, you’re constantly in my dreams as well,” she whispered in Johanna’s ear. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since we met. I don’t know if I’m supposed to or not.”
“I just want you to like me for who I am, Lily. It’s true that I’m a rocker, but I’m also a human being. I just want someone to treat me like a person. I want you to love me for me, not what you want me to be.”
“I do,” Lily nodded. “I see you as Johanna, the same person I met only a few days ago. You’re the same person that I had chicken and cashews and eggrolls with. We even ate some crab legs together. You told me you were a rock star. I just failed to figure out that you played with Black Widow’s Kiss. I also failed to tell you that I happen to be a fan of the drummer,” she laughed out loud over that. “I failed at so many things here!”
“You’re only a fan of me because you know I’m the drummer. If I was the lead singer, you’d be a fan of me for that.”
“That’s true. I’d be a fan of anything you were. If you picked up garbage from the streets, I’d be a fan of that as well,” she agreed. “You would probably do better than most people out there who pick garbage.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Johanna agreed. “Come on. Are you sure you’re okay with having a rock star girlfriend? It could be overwhelming. You might get tired of it. It might drive you wild.”
“I could never get tired of you. I’m a big girl. I can handle more than you realize,” Lily said. “It just depends if you can handle someone like me.”
Johanna chuckled. “That will be no problem.”
Chapter 9
Even though she had been born in a wealthy family, Johanna never cared for the dinner parties or the boring meetings that people had. What she wanted was the rock star life. She wanted to go behind the scenes of every band and see what they did backstage. She wanted to hang out with bandmates, drink alcohol, and just have a good time with them. She ditched the fancy dresses and the balls for leather jackets and heavy vodka. Although she was very careful about her drinking, she always preferred beer to wine. This was life for her. This was what she lived for.
Of course, now she had Lily in her life. She didn’t know when Lily would leave, but for now she was going to enjoy every second they had. She was going to love Lily and make her feel loved at every hour. She was going to hold her girlfriend and never let go until it was time to say goodbye. It made her feel bad that Lily would soon be leaving because they needed to be together. The only person she ever wanted in her life didn’t live here. She wasn’t a rock star, but it could be easy to turn her into one. She thought about Lily’s thick maroon curls, bright green eyes, and the sweet smile that was on her face. Anytime she saw Lily’s body, she wanted to scoop her girlfriend up and spin her around. More than anything, she wanted to take Lily to the bedroom and have a lot of good times in there.
“I could dress you up like the perfect rock star girlfriend,” Johanna said. “I’ve got a ton of studs and leather that I could put you in. No one would ever know who you were. If you want, we can go and get your tongue pierced in the process.”
“Uh, no thanks,” Lily held up her hands. “I don’t think I’m ready to have needles in my body yet. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’m ready for leather and studs either. Can I just be the girlfriend on the side that brings you to reality?”
“You’ll bring me to reality, but not to ecstasy? You wound me, Lily!”
“Of course I plan to bring you to ecstasy! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t do that?” Lily teased her. She held out her hands. “Would you care to dance, my lady?”
“I would be delighted, dear,” Johanna put her hand in Lily’s palm and Lily led her to the middle of the room. The two of them began to sway back and forth to the music. Lily rested her head on Johanna’s leather-clad shoulder, ignoring all the studs that were on it. Those studs felt nice.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Johanna asked as Lily shifted her head around to get comfortable. “I’ll take the jacket off if you want. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You aren’t hurting me. You are probably the only person in the world that doesn’t hurt me,” Lily said, kissing Johanna’s neck. She put a few more kisses on it before leading her way up to Johanna’s lips. “Oh, you are wearing my favorite lipstick. Mmm, strawberry.”
“It’s not strawberry. It’s Luscious Lilac.”
“Does it really matter? It makes your lips delicious.”
“Now you want to eat my lips?”
“I want to kiss them again and again and again.” To make her point, Lily did kiss her more than once. Johanna soon felt herself smothered by Lily’s lips, but in a good way. This was the kind of feeling she wanted. She wanted to feel loved.
“I think love you. I know I love you,” she murmured.
“Either you think it or you know it, Lily. It can’t be both,” Johanna said.
“Well, I know it for sure. Call me crazy, call me fast but I’m certain of this.”
“That’s good because I love you. I love everything about you,” Johanna murmured. “If I could, I would keep you with me forever.”
“We can still be together forever. Come back home with me,” Lily suggested. “If you’re tired of the rock and roll lifestyle, then we can move in together. You can be with me.”
“Oh, Lily, I wish I could do that. The thing is that I’m a rock and roll chick. I have been that way for a long time. I’m the kind of the girl that likes the parties and the loud music and the screaming fans. I like being surrounded by this stuff. I don’t know if I could get used to a quiet life.”
“I’m sure you could. If you want to be with me, you’d do whatever you wanted for me, right?”
“I’d do anything for you, Lily.”
“Then try to live a quiet life for me,” she suggested. “Try living one with me.”
“I don’t know if I can. I’m so deep in rock and roll that I don’t think I’ll ever know what a quiet life is like. I can’t give up the band because they need me. It will take them months to find a drummer to replace me. Even still, I don’t think anyone would ever have my skills. I hate to brag, but I worked hard to get where I am today. I put a lot of sweat, blood, and tears into it.”
“I believe you. I also think you could use a break from the rock and roll world. Not a long break, but just a few days with me. We could have a good time together. We’d really get to see if we’re compatible together or not. Right now, we’re enjoying each other because we aren’t living together. If we lived together, we’d see more about ourselves.”
“I don’t need to see more of you, Lily. I know how I feel just from looking at you now,” Johanna said. “I know you would never disappoint me.”
“Are you sure about that? I’m not perfect. I’ve got a lot of flaws and I try my best to cover t
hem up. I’m a terrible liar, I take too long to get ready, and I have an obsession with Lush cosmetics.”
“So? I’m also a terrible liar, I hog the bathroom every morning, and I have a hard time letting go of things. I can assure you that I’m not perfect either,” Johanna assured her. “You can ask the band. I take too long in the bathroom just to get ready.”
“Then I guess we’re perfect for each other,” Lily said. “We both hog the bathroom in the morning only because we need to look right. Otherwise, there’s no point in heading out.”
“No, there isn’t,” Johanna agreed. “It looks like we can get along with each other. As long as you aren’t hogging the bathroom when I need it, we’ll be fine.”
“I can’t guarantee you that,” Lily laughed. Her laugh was something spectacular and Johanna wanted to hear it for as long as she lived. “What if we’re both in a hurry and need the bathroom, but someone else is in there?”
“Then we’re both screwed.”
“Yeah, it’s safe to say we’re screwed,” Lily laughed again and Johanna nearly melted through the ground. That laugh was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. “One of us is going to have to give up that privilege and I know it won’t be me.”
“I doubt it’ll be me so…we’re both screwed,” Johanna laughed and the two of them just fell into a fit of giggles. They were too happy to care about anything else going on in the world. Lily leaned against Johanna and took a deep breath.
“I wish I didn’t have to leave this place. It’s paradise to me,” she said.
“It’s only paradise because you’re in it,” Johanna sighed. “I got it really bad for you, you know that?”
“I figured. I have it bad for you as well,” Lily admitted. “You’re driving me crazy and I enjoy it. I enjoy the way you make me feel and I live for every moment of it. If I could, I would keep you forever. A part of me wants to do that.”
Hearing the sincerity in Lily’s voice made Johanna’s heart skip a few beats. She could feel her heart in her chest fluttering away. They both wanted each other and they wanted to be there for each other. Lily was hers and she was Lily’s. No one was ever going to tear them apart.
No one.
Chapter 10
Lily could not stop thinking about Johanna after finding out about her true identity. It didn’t bother her at all that Johanna was famous. If anything, it made her more excited. She wanted to tell everyone in the world that she was dating a famous rock star, but who would believe her? Unless they saw her, they would never accept this as the truth.
“It’s such a nice night. I was hoping we could go for a walk on the beach,” she said. “I’ve been staring at that shoreline for so long, but I’ve never gone down there. I always felt like I didn’t belong there because I didn’t have anyone. You know there are so many couples walking down it. I always hoped that we would be one of those couples.”
“I was hoping we could do that too,” Johanna agreed.
Lily and Johanna began to walk down to the shore, feeling like the couples that they had seen walk here several times before. For Johanna, this was what she had always wanted. She had dreamt about having a lovely woman clinging to her arm as they walked.
“This is just perfect. You and me walking down the shoreline,” she felt Lily against her shoulder. “I’ve been watching so many couples walking around. I’ve been dying to have someone walk with me.”
“Same here,” Lily said. “This is just romantic. I hate that my vacation is going to end soon. I’m going to have to go back to the pizzeria and deal with rude customers again.”
“You don’t have to do that. Come travel the world with me,” Johanna said. “You won’t have to deal with rude customers anymore. Just loads of adoring fans.”
“What good would I be in the band though? I can’t play an instrument, Johanna. I can’t even sing either. The only thing I could do is write lyrics but you have plenty of people for that.”
“We do, but we’d love to sing a song written by you. If you’ve got something, I want to hear it.”
“I don’t have anything yet, but a lot of things inspire me,” Lily whispered. “My biggest inspiration is looking at me right now. She’s stirring things in me that no one ever did.”
“She is a very lucky woman,” Johanna said. “She has someone as beautiful as you in her life. She wants someone like you with her.”
“The only problem is that she lives far away and has to go back to her life,” Lily said. “She wants to follow you everywhere you go. The only problem is that it’s so expensive. She doesn’t where she’s going to get the money to travel.”
“I’ll lend you money.”
“That’s very kind of you, but I have to tell everyone what I’m doing. They’ll think I’m crazy that I dropped my life to follow my rock star girlfriend. They already think I’m nuts for liking girls. They’ll disown when they find out that I’m giving up a good job for this.”
“Hey, you didn’t like your job that much. You wait tables. You told me you don’t want to do that.”
“I don’t but I also have to be realistic, Johanna. I don’t know if I can spend my entire life jet-setting and doing nothing else.”
“You wouldn’t be doing nothing else. You would help out the band and me get ready for our gigs,” Johanna said. “We would pay you. I don’t know how much yet, but you wouldn’t go home empty-handed. Just think about it, Lily. Think about what I’m saying.”
“I’m thinking about it and I hear you, but I’ve got a lot on my plate as it is,” Lily said. “I’ve never been very spontaneous, Johanna. I have to think about everything before I go through with any of it. Even if it means hurting someone I love, I have to think all of it through.”
“Well, take your time but remember; I leave day after tomorrow. I have to be back on the road with the rest of the band,” Johanna reminded her. “You’ll have to make a decision soon.”
“How about you? Would you ever want to stay in one place?” Lily asked. “You could come back with me and stay with me for a while. It would be nice to rest up before you head on for a worldwide tour or something of that sort.”
“I wish there was such a thing as resting up, but there isn’t. The rock star’s life moves very quickly,” Johanna said. “I have to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. I move from one place to another without getting a chance to rest. That’s why I wondered if you could keep up with me.”
“Pfft, yes, I can. I can definitely keep up with you,” Lily promised. “I’m just worried about you. That can’t be healthy for you.”
“It isn’t, but what can you do? That’s just a part of the rock star life,” Johanna shrugged. “Anyway, we only have a day left with each other. I think it’s high time I treated you to something nice.”
“So where are you taking me? To our favorite Chinese place?”
“No, I love that place, but we need something a little more upscale. There’s a great restaurant down the street that serves all kinds of food,” Johanna said. “It’s the kind of place you deserve to eat at. Not to mention, I’ve got a brand new dress that I want to show you. You probably haven’t seen me in a dress, have you?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’ve seen you in your leather jacket though secretly,” she grinned, “I want you see out of it.”
“You are very cheeky,” Johanna wagged her finger in front of her. “I promise that you will get to see me out of that leather jacket. If you come with me on tour, you can see me out of clothes all the time. That’s what you want, right?”
“Now you’re speaking my language,” Lily smirked. “You know exactly what I’m after. However, I have to think about your offer. I can’t just drop everything back home and come with you. I have to do something about my home and my job as well.”
“Put in a two-weeks notice, pack up your things, and come with me. It shouldn’t be that hard.”
“Well, it will be hard. I do have a life back there.”
“Is it
a life you like?”
“It’s not a great life, but it is a life. I have friends back there and things to take care. They’re not going to take care of themselves.”
“Well, after you take care of them, you can come join me going around the world!” Johanna exclaimed. “It will be a lot of fun! Come on, Lily! You and I will be taking on everything that stands in our way! What do you say?!”
“I…I have to think about it,” Lily said. “Can you give me a few days to think it over?”
“How long are you thinking about?”
“At least give me from now until you leave this place. That is the perfect time to tell you what I think is the best decision,” Lily said.