by CS Patra
“I’ll be waiting for your answer then,” Johanna said. “I hope you say yes.”
Lily could only nod in reply. She didn’t know what she was going to say anymore.
Chapter 11
Lily began to look through her closet at all the dresses she had brought with her. There were so many colorful dresses with wild patterns on them, but she wanted something simple. She finally settled on a pink dress that had no print on it. It was the same color as those fake pink roses that were sitting in a vase on her table. She slipped it on and zipped it up from behind. The dress had sleeves, but short ones that almost made it look sleeveless. The neckline wasn't plunging either. She opted not to wear pantyhose tonight because it was hot. She had a pair of sandals that would match the dress so that took care of the shoe problem.
Next, she sat in front of the mirror and began to put on her makeup. It was nothing crazy or out there, just soft and subtle colors. She used a nice foundation for her face and added on the eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick. They also matched the roses in the room. As for jewelry, she wasn’t going to wear very much. She changed out her earrings to find some rose quartz ones that would work. Her necklace and bracelet would also match it. With her hair now done, she looked ready to greet Johanna for a night in a fancy restaurant. Since they had been spending so much time together, it wouldn’t hurt to have one night where they both just enjoyed each other’s company.
This is it. She thought to herself. This is the night where I'm going to make everything count. I’m going to tell Johanna that I’m going with her.
It was a tough decision, but it was the only one that made sense. She was too deep in love with Johanna to let her go now. She didn’t want to stop this relationship on the basis that they were too far away. She finally had someone that she truly loved. She had someone that could understand her and was the perfect person to talk to. The one thing she missed most when she was with another person was communication. For some reason, other women weren’t so good at communicating with her. Johanna was different. Johanna knew what it felt like.
That was the reason why she was going to be with Johanna. That was why she was going to go around the world and follow Johanna everywhere she went. It was the thing that they both wanted in the end. They wanted to be happy and they wanted to be with each other. This was the only decision that would make them have everything.
When Lily laid eyes on Johanna, she saw someone that she didn’t recognize. Johanna was wearing a bright blue dress that had a modest neckline and the hem reached her knees. Gone were the leather boots and in place of them were some modest blue heels. This was not a Johanna that Lily remembered falling in love with. However, she liked the change that she had seen.
“Is that you?” Lily laughed. “I don’t believe it! You look so different!”
“You mean different in a good way or a bad way?” Johanna asked.
“In a good way. I love what you’re wearing,” Lily stood a few feet away to get a better look at her. Johanna had styled her hair nicely and pulled it up. She also wore some makeup that was subtle and not all out there. No one would have been able to guess that this Johanna was the same one who was banging on the drums earlier.
“Look at us. We’re eating a fancy dinner like a fancy old couple,” Johanna said. “I feel so weird wearing a dress. Well, I’m feeling weird wearing a dress that doesn’t have studs in it.”
“You look lovely,” Lily said. “I would never guess that was you.”
“You’ve probably never seen me wear heels before unless they were high-heeled boots. However, I do own nice clothes. In fact, you can see me in them right now,” Johanna stood up for a second and showed off her body. The sight of her body made Lily want to drool all over the table. Johanna was too hot for words. No poet could ever describe it.
“God, you’re beautiful,” Lily said. “It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.”
“I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you though,” Johanna said. “You look like you came straight out of a painting.
“I’d play you a love song, but I don’t know if I could make one from playing the drums,” she said. “I don’t think it would be romantic.”
“Anything by you would be romantic to me. You should try writing a song on the drums.”
“Sure, if you find banging drums romantic, then yes. Yes, I can write a romantic song for you,” Johanna said. “It may not sound romantic, but I assure you that it will be.”
“I don’t care how romantic is sounds as long as it comes straight from the heart,” Lily said. “I know you can write a song that does that.”
“Yeah, I can,” Johanna agreed. “If you came with me, I could write you a million songs. I would write you a song for every country that we visited on tour.”
“Oh, come on! You don’t have to do that for me!”
“I would. If you asked me to, I would write you a song for every moment of your life. I would give you a song for everything you did. Hell, I’d even write one about you brushing your teeth.”
“You don’t have to go that far.”
“I know, but I could. It would be all about how you’re getting the gunk and plaque off your teeth.”
Lily laughed. “No, no, don’t do that! No one would ever want to hear a song about my teeth unless it was a toothpaste commercial!”
“You look like you belong in a toothpaste commercial. Your smile is just brilliant,” Johanna sighed. “Seriously, don’t you ever get any of that yellow stuff on it?”
“Ugh, no. I take care of my teeth. I brush and floss three times a day. That’s why a song about my teeth would be so boring. If I had some gunk or something, maybe that would be a little more interesting. As it is, I’m a walking toothpaste commercial.”
“Well, let’s forget about your teeth and focus on something else. How about your eyes? You’ve got some beautiful brown eyes. Or maybe your hair. I love the color of your hair,” Johanna reached over and touched Lily’s maroon locks. “I’ve never seen anyone with this hair color before.”
“Really? There are a lot of people with this hair color where I live.”
“It suits you,” Johanna said. “I could sing about how beautiful that hair is. It reminds me of…a magical world that you can get lost in.”
“Really? No one has ever described my hair as such.”
“It’s the color that’s making me think that way. It’s the kind of color I’d see on fairy tale characters or something like that. Your length is perfect as well. Not too long and not too short. Then there are your eyes. So dark and mysterious. I feel like I can get lost in them and I wouldn’t mind in the slightest bit.”
“That’s what my eyes are making you feel?”
“Yeah. You have some of the prettiest eyes I have ever seen,” she said.
“My eyes are boring and the color of poop. There’s nothing that exciting about them.”
“You liar! Your eyes are stunning! I happen to find people with brown eyes very pretty,” Johanna said. “Anyway, I want to ask you about something very important. How do you feel about traveling around the world with a band?”
“Uh…” Lily bit her bottom lip and hesitated to answer. She knew this was coming. Johanna wanted to know if she wanted to come along. “I don’t know. I’ve never been a groupie before.”
“You wouldn’t be a groupie. You’d be my girl behind the stage.”
“Isn’t that technically what a groupie is?”
“You’ve got benefits that most groupies never get,” Johanna winked at her. “You’d get to spend a lot of time with me for starters. We could be with each other from morning till night. You’d get to see the things that no one else gets to see. Think about it. It’s a lifetime dream that most girls would die for.”
“That may be so, but I’m not like most girls. You already know that.”
“Yes, I do,” Johanna sighed, pulling her into a kiss. “That’s why I want you to come with me. Give up your job and just fly everywhere with me.
I’ll make sure you’re taken care of. You’d never have to worry about paying your rent or bills or anything like that again. We’ll be traveling everywhere and trying new things. At night, when I’m done with my shows, I’ll get in bed with you and spend as much time as you want. Think about it. That sounds like paradise is never going to end.”
It was a beautiful offer. The one thing Lily wanted was to spend more time with Johanna. These few days were not enough to appreciate everything about Johanna. However, there was also that small part of her that was afraid. She didn’t know how things would really turn out. Just because Johanna was used to traveling everywhere, didn’t mean that Lily was. Lily hadn’t been out of the country that much and she wasn’t used to dealing with jet lag. Making that move would be risky.
Was she really willing to risk it all for love? That was the question that she was still having trouble answering.
Chapter 12
Lily didn't want to think about the fact that she was going home soon. A part of her was excited to go back, but she was going to return without Johanna. if she wanted to go through with what Jo had asked or not. The idea of traveling around the world and being a groupie for the band was tempting. She would get the privilege that so many others wished they got. She could get to see what the band did backstage and wouldn’t have to worry about paparazzi so much. She would get all the perks without having to do much work.
Yet a part of Lily didn’t want that. She wanted to work and she wanted a quiet life. It would have been much better if Johanna decided to stay in one place. She couldn’t force Johanna to quit the band. That would be horrible for both of them. Her main thing was to make sure that Johanna was happy at all times. If being with the band made her happy, so be it. Lily wasn’t going to be the one who stood in the way of that happiness.
However, it also meant that she needed to come to a decision. Johanna was everything for her, but was she willing to leave everything behind? It was hard for her to leave her, the one she loved. There was no Johanna back at home. There was no one to love her the way that Johanna did. There was no one that was going to care for her like Johanna. Back home, there truly was nothing.
Maybe I should take her offer. She thought. I’d have luxury without having to work for it. Above all, I’d have Johanna. Why am I hesitating to take this offer?
Try as hard she wanted to, she could not convince herself to say yes to this offer. A part of her knew that she wasn’t going to be happy moving from place to place. She wasn’t going to be thrilled with being on the road and standing on the sides while the band was playing. Being with Johanna was important to her, but so was having some sanity. She wanted her quiet life, not this loud, star-filled one.
On their final night together, they decided to take a long walk down the beach and take in everything that was there. They wouldn’t talk very much, just admire each other while being close. Lily nuzzled the back of Johanna’s neck and felt the wind whipping her pink-streaked hair in her face. She smelled so good tonight. It was a mix of raspberry and roses.
“Let’s go out to the ocean!” Johanna suggested. “We can get wet and have fun!”
“But I didn’t bring my bathing suit!”
“Neither did I but that’s not going to stop me,” Johanna ran over to where the water was coming in. She ran towards the waves, fully clothed and didn’t seem to care that she was getting wet. She splashed around in the water and laughed as she motioned the Lily to come in. Giving in, Lily took off her shoes and threw them to the side. Then she ran towards the rolling waves where Johanna was playing around. She felt the cold, salty water sting her legs as she got in it. It didn’t matter what was floating around in the water. She laughed as some of the water came into her mouth.
“You okay?” Johanna asked her as they splashed around.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lily swam around in the water, forgetting that she was in a dress. It was just the two of them now, she took off the dress and decided to throw it back on the wet sand. Now she was swimming around in her underwear. “The water is so cold!”
“Let me warm you up then!” Johanna swam towards her and pulled her into an embrace. She was still in her clothes but it didn’t matter. The only thing she had taken off before running was the leather jacket. She couldn’t afford to get that one wet. The rest of her clothes were pretty see through and Lily could see the bright pink bra that she was wearing.
“You feel better now?” She asked.
“Oh, yeah. Loads better,” Lily said, her face only inches away from Johanna’s. “I’ve never really swam in the ocean before. It scares me a little bit.”
“It’s just the ocean. There's nothing scary about it.”
“That’s what you think. There’s so much of the ocean that no one has explored yet. There are so many creatures that we probably don’t know about and they’re all on the ocean floor. I saw some National Geographic special on the ocean and what we don’t know about it. I honestly think that scares me more than space does.”
“Oh, it’s just water right now. Sure, there’s a lot of seaweed floating about but it’s not going to kill you. I don’t think any of this in here are dangerous either.”
“God, I forgot about the fish!” Lily laughed. “Let’s get out of this before a shark comes for us!”
“You're being so silly!” Nonetheless, Johanna did get out of the water with her and they both lay down on the wet sand, letting the waves wash over their ankles and legs.
After taking a few deep breaths, Lily sat up and began to draw a heart in the sand. Johanna followed her gaze and watched as she wrote LB + JV in the middle of the heart. Then she started to draw small roses around it.
“Forgive my artistic skill. I'm not that good at drawing roses in the sand,” she said. “They look like little blobs, don’t they?”
“It’s okay. Those blobs are better than anything I could do.”
Johanna looked at her and suddenly she had the greatest urge to kiss her. Without thinking twice, she leaned in and kissed Lily. Lily threw her arms around her and the two of them began rolling around in the sand. Johanna could feel the sand getting into her hair, but it didn’t matter. It felt hypocritical of her to run into the ocean when she didn’t like swimming in it. Lily was doing this to her. Lily was making her act in a way she never acted before. She was making her love the ocean and playing around it. She was making her act like a child all over again.
“You do so much crazy shit to me,” she whispered before giving her another kiss. “What is it about you that makes me act like this?”
“I don’t know,” Lily said. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking because of you. I’m finally inspired to write more of my book. I feel like I came alive here. Up until now, I was living, but I wasn’t alive. You did this to me, Johanna. You did it all.”
“All I did was enter your life.”
“You made my life more spectacular than anyone else. I can’t thank you enough for it,” Lily said. “I wish you didn’t have to go away. I want you to stay with me forever.”
“I want to be yours forever. I know I can do that. I just don’t know if I can stay,” Johanna whispered, looking down at the badly drawn roses in the sand. She decided to add something in the sand as well. She drew a heart in it and put ‘LB + JV R GAY’ in the middle of it. Lily laughed when she saw that.
“Well, you didn’t tell a single lie.”
“I spill nothing but the truth,” Johanna promised, also trying to draw some roses in the sand. At least Lily’s roses looked like flowers. Hers were just holes in the middle of the sand. “Oh, shit, I give up. This is why I’m a musician and not an artist.”
“I’m not artist either. I write about things, I don’t draw them.”
“Same. I make music, not art,” she laughed at her roses. “They look like shit.”
“They’re no shittier than mine are,” Lily lay back down on the sand again. “Ah, I’m going to need to take a nice long shower after this.”
; “I’ll join you,” Johanna said. “I know you want that too.”
“Yeah, I do,” Lily leaned over and gave Johanna a kiss. “I want so much with you. It just makes me sad that tonight is our last night together.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Johanna said. “Think about it. You can come with me and travel the world. It would be way better than waiting tables for shitty customers.”
“I know. The worst part about going home is knowing you won’t be there,” she murmured. “Still, I have to do it. I have to go back because I promised that I would return.”
“I understand,” Johanna didn’t want to understand this, but she knew she was asking too much. She couldn’t expect Lily to drop everything just for her. “I want you to know that these last few days have been great. I wish they could last longer.”
“So do I,” Lily looked over at the new heart that Johanna had drawn. “LB and JV are gay. Hopefully, no one ever figures out who LB and JV are.”