Saving Sebastian: A Catharsis Novel (Custos Securities Series Book 3)

by Luna, David

  Sebastian shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, I’m doing okay. I’ve been sick and I’ve been seeing a specialist. They’re working with me to get me healthy again.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad. You know if you need anything, you can call me, right?”

  Sebastian was surprised by that and it must have showed because Braden looked sad and asked, “Will you call me, if you need help?”

  Sebastian smiled, thinking how nice of an offer that was and how he’d never take Braden up on it. He didn’t want to be that guy. He’d never take advantage of a new friend like that. He’d had a hard enough time asking Zoe to feed his cats. But he nodded and said, “If I need help, I’ll keep you in mind.”

  From the look on his face, Braden must not have loved that evasive answer, but he surprised Sebastian by leaning over his dog and giving Sebastian a one-armed hug. “I’m glad you came.”

  When Braden let him go, Sebastian was blushing and he nodded and said, “Me too.”

  Braden leaned down and gave Thor a vigorous pet and then patted him on the side and told him to go play with Buckley. Sebastian thought that must be another dog because Thor bounded off in the direction of the backyard and barked with excitement. Sebastian looked at Braden when another dog barked right back. Dog speak. They grinned at each other and then Sebastian was taken by surprise when Braden clasped his hand, and tugged him towards the steps to the front door.

  He couldn’t help but feel a warm feeling at Braden’s hand holding. It wasn’t sexual in any way, it was, he didn’t know what it was, but it felt amazing and right. Like maybe they’d been friends forever and were just reconnecting after years apart. He scoffed at himself internally. How fanciful that all sounded. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he and Braden were going to be the best of friends. And he hoped he was right.

  He was so distracted by his thoughts he barely registered that Braden had opened the door and was in the process of pulling him inside. Sebastian nearly gasped as he looked at the grand foyer he’d just walked into. There was a gorgeous sculpted chandelier, dark variegated hardwoods, a sweeping staircase wrapped in what appeared to be very real garland, and lots of it, with twinkle lights throughout, and small red ornaments attached to add a pop of color. There was a mini-tree—one that put his to shame—on the gorgeous hand-carved, wooden entry table.

  There was a crowd in the room to the left of the staircase and a crowd in the room to the right, and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was another crowd at the back of the house as well. Feeling stressed suddenly and grateful to be holding Braden’s hand, he pasted a smile on his face.

  He leaned closer to Braden and whispered loudly above the noise of the festive party goers, “This house is gorgeous, and huge!”

  Braden laughed and nodded. “I know, right? It’s all that watch money! Geesh. It’s intimidating at first, I know, but that’s just the house, not the people. The people are the best.”

  Confused, Sebastian asked, “Watch money?”

  Braden looked confused by his confusion and replied, “McCade Military Watches?”

  “You mean those fancy smartwatch thingies?”

  Braden snorted, “Smartwatch thingies.” He laughed harder, snorted again, and nodded. “Yep, those. Didn’t Gideon tell you?”

  “Tell me wha… Wait, McCade. That McCade?”

  Braden rolled his eyes. “That man, I swear! Yes, that McCade. It’s their family business. Have you never noticed the watch he wears, religiously?”

  Sebastian shrugged. “I’ve seen it. I just… I didn’t know and had never seen a watch like it, really.”

  Braden hummed. “It’s an Imperator McCade Military Watch. Only the family wears that model and they’re all connected so they can communicate through them. I thought you knew or would have been told. Sorry.”

  “No, I wasn’t. So, like…they send bat signals to each other?”

  As Braden laughed, reality was catching up with him. Cracking that joke and distracting his friend from his current OMG state of WTFuckery was his only saving grace. Because, oh hairy shitballs, he was at Gideon’s parents’ house. Fuck! Oh, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. This was not good, this was not good. He whispered nervously, glancing around, planning his escape, “I shouldn’t be here.”

  Braden looked at him, confused. “Wha—”

  “Braden, who do we have here?” A beautiful, older, curvaceous woman in a gorgeous, deep burgundy sheath dress approached, hand outstretched. He took it automatically feeling hot and cold all at once. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here. Was Gideon here? Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

  “…is Sebastian Phillips. He’s a police sketch artist, which is how I met him, but more importantly, he’s a brilliant tattoo artist who’s done a tattoo for me and for Zavier. He’s extremely talented. And Sebastian, this is Siobhan, my mother-in-law and Zavier and Gideon’s mom.”

  Before he could say hello, she pounced on that last bit. “You know Gideon?”

  He couldn’t stop the blush if he tried. Shit. Fuck. “Um…” He shook his head, glanced at Braden, trying to mentally send him an SOS message and then back at Siobhan and shook his head again for good measure. “Uh…it’s not—”

  “They’re just dating right now, Mom.”

  She beamed and wrapped her arm around Braden. “Oh, I do love it when you call me that!” She glanced at Sebastian and grinned at him and shocked him with, “Well, you’re perfect for him. Just gorgeous, and talented, and ambitious it sounds like. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.”

  As Zavier approached, bringing Braden a drink of what looked like ice water, Sebastian wasn’t sure he could blush even more than he had, but, yep, he could. “Thank you, ma’am.” He handed her the bottle of wine he’d nearly forgotten he was holding. “And, thanks for letting me crash your party.”

  “Oh, aren’t you sweet! Thank you so much. I’m so glad you came, and you’re welcome anytime. When I hunt up my husband, I’ll bring him over to meet you. Until then, enjoy. Braden will show you around, maybe give you a tour.”

  He nodded and she was off, approaching a small group that waved her over. He gulped, not knowing what the fuck to do and feeling so out of place. He realized Braden and Zavier were looking at him and tried to muster up a smile. He was about to say something when Zavier reached out his hand. Sebastian clasped it to shake and Zavier said, “I’m glad you could make it, Sebastian. Happy New Year. What can I get you to drink?”

  He pasted on another smile and replied, “Happy New Year to you as well. Water is good for now, thank you.”

  As Zavier walked off, Braden whispered, “Why did you say you shouldn’t be here?”

  “Because Gideon and I agreed not to mix our contract with our personal lives. We’re not dating, we’re just Dom/sub. I should leave.”

  Braden looked horrified. “No, you shouldn’t! I asked you to come. You’re my guest. Plus, Gideon isn’t even here. He’s working tonight and I don’t know how late he’ll be. Please, stay, I want you here.”

  The truth was, Sebastian wanted to stay. And if it wasn’t for Gideon, he wouldn’t dream of leaving. Sure, he felt nervous, and out of place, but shit, he felt nervous and out of place basically everywhere he went. He wanted to spend time with friends. He wanted to spend a holiday with someone he enjoyed. And he didn’t want to go home and sit in his empty house with his cats, no matter how much he loved them. So, he gave Braden a small smile and nodded, saying, “Okay, I’ll stay for a little while at least.”

  The smile Braden gave him was worth it. He’d just have to hope and pray that he’d leave before Gideon arrived. He was playing with fire, and would probably get burned, but he didn’t want to disappoint his new friend. Braden clasped his hand just like before and tugged him towards the back of the house, saying, “Come on. Zavier’s getting you a drink, but you need to try some of this food, it’s to die for!”

  And with that, he was tugged back into the most beautiful kitchen/dining room combination he’d ever seen. When Za
vier approached, he self-consciously pulled his hand from Braden’s. Braden glanced at him confused and must have seen him looking at Zavier because he looked at his husband, clasped his hand again, and said, “I’m holding his hand.”

  Zavier grinned at his husband, clasped the back of his neck in what Sebastian could see was a tight grip of ownership, and kissed him on the head. “Good. Make him feel welcome. Sebastian, keep an eye on my boy here. Make sure he doesn’t get in any trouble. I’m going to mingle and help my parents keep everyone well sauced. We’ve got drivers on call tonight to take anyone home who needs one. That goes for you too, Sebastian, so if you have a little too much to drink, don’t worry about it. You boys have fun, all right?”

  He gave his husband a heated kiss and then popped him on the ass as he walked away. Braden grinned at him and he couldn’t help but grin back. They walked towards the table that was laden with an enormous spread of food of all kinds. He smiled and thought to himself that he might just gain a few pounds back tonight. Braden put a few select things on his plate but when he saw Sebastian do the same he said, “I’ve already eaten some of this and I’m diabetic. You need food and this stuff is amazing. Pile that plate high.”

  He did just that and while he couldn’t even come close to finishing what he’d taken, he did put quite a dent in it. They sat in a little secluded nook in the corner of the kitchen by the fireplace and chatted about inconsequential things. Sebastian could tell that his friend wanted to ask more personal questions but didn’t want to put him on the spot. For that he was grateful. They were just about to get up when a younger version of Siobhan approached them. He realized before they’d even been introduced that she was Gideon’s sister. His face grew heated when she asked how long he’d been seeing Gideon, but Braden saved him by changing the subject.

  Siobhan stopped back over with her husband next, and Sebastian met the clan’s patriarch, Duncan McCade. Sebastian could see the kindness in his eyes first and then the curiosity peeked through. He started sweating and feeling distinctly uncomfortable, but it looked as though a tacit agreement had been made and they didn’t press him for details.

  When he realized that was the case, he relaxed a bit and then found himself talking to Siobhan and Rowan about tattooing and handed over a card to them both against his better judgement. He had an impossible time trying to avoid it and the twin, shrewd gazes coming from both beautiful women was more than he could take.

  “There he is! Sebastian, I heard you were here.”

  Sebastian jumped at Clara Cross’s unexpected but exuberant greeting. He smiled, remembering how great she’d been to him when he’d done the composite sketch of her assailant. Standing he held his hand out to shake hers and she waved it away as she pulled him in for a hug. She joined them for a bit and then she excused herself when a man her age entered the room. Her face lit up and she walked towards him, took his proffered arm and they made their way to another room.

  Braden got his attention, smirked in their direction and whispered, “Ira.”

  Sebastian grinned, remembering their conversation about the high-in-demand neighbor of Clara’s. “Yeah?”

  Braden nodded and continued, “Oh yeah. Apparently, he did bring flowers and wait on her hand and foot. They’ve been inseparable ever since, which is unheard of for her. She liked to play the field.”

  They chuckled at that and he was happy that Clara had found someone. He realized that Braden must have understood his social anxiety, at least in part, because they stayed there for the next hour, people approaching them, chatting for a bit and then moving off. He talked with Braden’s business partner, Maya, her brother and Zavier’s business partner, Cooper, and several of the guys that worked for them both.

  He hadn’t planned on making a lot of new contacts for his tattooing, and frankly, he didn’t have time to take them all on as clients. But he ran out of business cards after Siobhan and Rowan and just ended up giving his mobile number out to those that were interested. Which prompted a whole flurry of texts from them providing him with their name to go with the number that texted so he could add them to his ever-growing contacts list. It was kind of unreal and as much as he enjoyed his time there, even just an hour of being “on” was enough to make him tired as hell.

  He excused himself to use the restroom after being told where it was. He used the toilet and stayed in there longer than necessary to catch his breath. Jesus. It was a New Year’s Eve party, and he wasn’t even going to make it until midnight. That was pretty much the definition of pathetic. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and exited the bathroom and pulled it shut behind him leaning against it to give himself one more moment of quiet before heading back into the fray.

  He saw someone out of the corner of his eye and pasted a smile on his face, turning to say hello. His stomach plummeted when he realized it was Gideon. Fuck. He’d known he wasn’t going to be able to avoid seeing him, and still he was surprised by it. The hallway was dim, but he could see confusion, a few other emotions he couldn’t name, and then the one he’d expected. Anger.

  Without a word, his Dom had turned and walked away from him, but the look he’d given Sebastian before doing so was one of warning. Palms sweating, and hands shaking he followed Gideon through a mudroom and out to the driveway at the side of the house. He didn’t dare get too close. He was too raw for any sort of contact. He knew that Gideon would never raise a hand in anger towards him. He wasn’t that type of man. But the anger he saw reflected back at him wasn’t an emotion he’d ever seen on his Dom’s face, and quite honestly, he never wanted to see it again.

  He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling self-conscious at the stare down he was getting. “Hello, Sir.”

  His Dom narrowed his eyes, not even trying to disguise his contempt. “What are you doing here?”

  Sebastian couldn’t help but flinch in reaction, garnering no reaction at all from Gideon. “I’m sorry. Braden invited me. I didn’t—”

  “We agreed not to mix our contract with our personal lives. I don’t appreciate being blindsided by you being in my parents’ house.”

  Sebastian nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t know it would be here. He just gave me the address. I didn’t know it was your family’s party. I wouldn’t have—”

  Sebastian nearly wept at the anger he saw on Gideon’s face. “And when you found out? Why didn’t you leave?”

  He didn’t think rejection could hurt so much, like he’d been punched in the gut. This was a nightmare but one he realized he’d brought upon himself, so all he did was nod. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Sir. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should’ve left as soon as I found out. I’ll go now.” He turned to leave and saw Gideon move as if to follow him. He turned back and held up his hand. “It’s okay. You don’t need to… I can see myself to my car. I really am sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again.”

  Sebastian’s hands were shaking when he turned to head down the driveway. As he walked past the cars parked there and out onto the street, his heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t. He just needed to get out of there. He needed to escape. He didn’t think he could take anymore.

  He dug in his pocket for his key ring, pulling it out he fumbled for his car key. But he was shaking so badly he dropped them on the street. Sinking down to the ground he picked them up and gripped them tight, not knowing if he had the strength to get up until he saw Gideon approaching out of the corner of his eye.

  He bolted up, adrenaline spiking and managed to get the key in the lock. His first instinct was to wrench the door open, his frustration, no, his anger at himself a palpable thing. But he didn’t want to lose his composure and humiliate himself any more than he’d already done. He gently eased the creaky car door open and stepped into the V between the door and the car itself. He made a move to slide in but stopped when a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder had him turning to face what was coming.

  Gideon looke
d at him, no warmth in his eyes. The emotions Sebastian was sometimes sure were just there below the surface, had vanished as if they’d never existed. And, he admitted to himself, they probably never had. Gideon’s hands—hands that were always quick to touch him, caress him, hold him—were in fists by his sides. Sebastian thought he might be sick. Looking at his Dom he knew what was coming before it escaped those beautiful lips and he took a shuddering breath and braced himself in preparation.

  “Sebastian, we both agreed from the beginning that this might not work. That one of us might not want to continue through to the end of the contract terms. We agreed, there would be no questions asked, no blame placed. I think it’s best for both of us that we end our contract tonight. It’s obviously not working and I don’t think it’s fair for either of us to draw it out. I’m sorry.”

  His preparations hadn’t worked. The wall he’d hoped to erect hadn’t had time to solidify and lay in ruins at his feet. His heart shattered in his chest at those words. No matter how hard he’d tried, he’d truly failed this time. Failed himself. And worse, failed his Dom. A scenario he would have done absolutely anything to avoid. A scenario he’d told himself from the onset of their contract would be the likely outcome. And still he’d hoped.

  Why hadn’t he made the connection that this was a family party? Why hadn’t he assumed that Braden would always spend holidays with the people he loved and who loved him back? The notion of true family was so foreign a concept that it hadn’t even occurred to him. Just the fact that he’d been invited had meant the world to him. Which was exactly why he should have known better.

  Something in Sebastian died in that moment, causing a black void to crack open deep within him so vast he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to fill it. A pain, deeper than any he’d ever experienced was pummeling him from every angle. He clenched his teeth as he felt the sting of tears and did his best to mentally will them away. Sebastian couldn’t show Gideon the damage he’d done with his rejection. He couldn’t let him see how much it hurt. It wasn’t Gideon’s fault. He didn’t need to feel guilt.