Talen

by Shay Savage

  I tell Ava, Milo, and the others about my father’s treachery, my imprisonment, and my escape. A few times, Ava or Milo stop me to ask a question or to get clarification, but the others all remain silent.

  “I was only trying to keep you safe,” I tell her. “I just wanted to keep everyone safe.”

  “You didn’t keep us safe.”

  I look at Will and nod my head.

  “I know I didn’t,” I tell him, “but I only found that out later. Learning that he’d lied about the new settlement in the West is what prompted me to speak out against him. That’s why he tried to get rid of me.”

  “Why are you telling us everything now?” Milo asks. “Aren’t you still putting us in danger?”

  “I was presumed dead,” I tell him. “My father told everyone I died, and I think he probably believed I perished somewhere in the wilderness outside the capital, but now he knows different. While we were in the complex under the mountain, the men who attacked us recognized me. By now, my father knows I’m alive, so I’m not sure that it matters so much anymore. He already knows I’m here. He’s probably sent people out looking for me, and you are already in danger.”

  “So, you’re putting us all in danger now just by being here,” Will says.

  “I’m warning you for the last time, boy,” Samuel says.

  “He has a point,” Milo says. “If the Thaves are looking for you, they will probably find us.”

  “What you know about me doesn’t make a lot of difference now,” I tell him, “but you’re right. It’s all the more reason to get you far away from here. West isn’t an option, and I don’t think he’ll bother following us north.”

  “Why not?” Milo asks.

  “Because he doesn’t want the north,” I say. “He wants the valley, and he’s already taken it. He wants me out of the way. He wants all of us out of the way. If he gets what he wants, he won’t waste time and resources chasing after us.”

  “You don’t know that for sure.”

  “I know my father. I know what he cares about, and ultimately, as long as I don’t interfere with his goals, I’m not on his list of concerns.”

  “You think we should just leave?” Aerin says, speaking up for the first time in a long time. “What about finding the people responsible for the fires?”

  “I think we need to get everyone here to safety first,” I say. “I haven’t forgotten about what’s happened, but the survivors have to be our priority.”

  “You might be a fighter,” Milo says, “but that can’t be said for the rest of us. As much as I want revenge for Jonny, there’s no point in it if we don’t find a new place to live. We can’t go back to where we were.”

  “No, we can’t.”

  “You’re just going to listen to him and do what he says, aren’t you?” Will stands up and points his finger at me. “After everything he’s done—everything he’s admitted to—you’re still going to trust him?”

  “I do trust him.” Milo scans the group. “I think ultimately we’ve all learned to trust Talen’s actions even if we didn’t know who he really was. I’ve known him long enough to see him put himself in danger for our sake plenty of times. He didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to stay in Plastictown and help us, but he did. That speaks louder than his recent absence or his heritage.”

  “Well, I’m not going to blindly follow a Thaves spy.” Will grabs a pack from near the fire. “Maybe you are all okay with following him to your deaths, but I’ve already been down that route. I’m not doing it again.”

  “Will, you can’t be serious.” Samuel grabs for his cane and pushes himself up, trying to catch up with Will before he leaves the depression. “You can’t go off on your own, boy! You won’t survive the night!”

  “I survived a long time on my own,” Will says darkly. “I had to because of what he did. At least this time, I have a choice.”

  Without another word, Will walks away from the group and down the hillside.

  “I’ll go after him.” I start to stand, but Milo stops me.

  “There is nothing you can say that’s going to change his mind. Don’t waste your energy.”

  “He’s going to get himself killed.”

  “If he does, it’s on his own terms,” Milo responds. “We have others to worry about.”

  He glances at Samuel, who stares at him wide-eyed. Samuel opens his mouth to protest but quickly closes it again. He looks longingly at Will’s departing figure before shuffling back to the fire.

  I glance over at Milo, and he’s locked in a gaze with Keller, who still stands silently, rubbing his jaw. I expect him to follow Will and abandon the group, but instead, he sits down in the shadows at the back of the depression.

  Though I’ve always considered Milo to have a strong personality, I’m surprised at how quickly and efficiently he has taken the role of leader. He seems to be a natural, and I’m glad of it. People like him and trust him, and it’s clear from some of the looks I’m still getting from the group that not all of them trust me any longer.

  “Tell us more about this building inside the mountain,” Milo says.

  Beginning from the moment the quake hit and Aerin and I were trapped in the shaft, we tell our story. Aerin and I take turns describing the complex and the people we found inside, including the mention of my father and the doctor responsible for the viruses.

  “So, you’re from the capital as well?” Layshell asks Aerin.

  “Yes,” Aerin says after I give her a quick nod. “My mother worked in the capital city, and my father was in the military.”

  “Where are they now?”

  “My father died a few years ago,” Aerin says. “I assume my mother and brother are still in the capital, waiting for me to return with information.”

  “Your brother?” I tilt my head and look at Aerin questioningly. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

  “Younger brother,” Aerin says.

  “You didn’t tell me.”

  “I guess he just didn’t come up,” Aerin replies with a shrug. “We’ve been rather busy.”

  “True.”

  “We could really use some of the supplies you were talking about,” Layshell says. “I’m not sure we’re going to survive a long journey north with what we have.”

  “Do you think that’s possible?” Milo asks. “Layshell is right; we’re very low on supplies. If we’re going to be walking for days, we’re going to need more than what we have. This time of year, foraging won’t be easy. It will take a lot of extra time, and we still won’t find much.”

  “Luther’s been catching a lot of small game,” Ava says.

  “We can’t all live off of that,” Luther says. “Not enough nutrition long term.”

  “He’s right,” Aerin says. “We’re going to have to come up with more supplies.”

  “I’m not sure the complex is the answer,” I say. “They know about us, and they’re probably guarding the area. Hilltop might be a better place to get what we need.”

  “Too many houses,” Aerin says. “We won’t be able to scrounge enough quickly, especially with your ‘no trace left behind’ rules.”

  “Those are out the window at this point.”

  “That will make it a little easier,” Aerin says, “but the northern shaft to the complex is closer to here than we are to Hilltop. How long do you think what we have will last?”

  “If we rationed well, a week,” I say. “Not much longer with this many people.”

  “It’s been a long day,” Milo says. “I think we should all get some rest and figure out our next steps tomorrow. Talen, I want to speak with you outside for a moment.”

  As the other prepare for the night, Milo and I walk down to the river with water bottles in hand. As I start to fill them, he speaks.

  “I told everyone in there that I trust you,” Milo says. “That wasn’t a lie, but I’m still going to be watching you very closely, Talen. I understand why you did what you did, but you should have trusted
us more. We would have protected your secret, just as you protected us from the Thaves.”

  “I didn’t want to put any of you at risk,” I say.

  “I know that.” Milo holds a hand up. “I just want you to know that I said what I said for the sake of the others. They need to believe in you if we’re going to survive this. That doesn’t mean you aren’t on notice.”

  “I understand. I’d never do anything to hurt any of you. I hope you know that.”

  “I think I do.” Milo reaches out and shakes my hand.

  “You’ve taken on a lot of responsibility here,” I say. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

  “I’ll be fine,” he says with a grin. “I like giving people orders.”

  “Ha!”

  “Are you going to be all right with that?” Milo asks.

  “Most certainly.”

  “Good.”

  When we return with the water, Aerin is lying down near the entrance of the depression, away from the others. Before I have a chance to join her, Ava steps in front of me. We stare at each other for a long moment.

  “I don’t like it,” Ava finally says. “I don’t like that you lied to me and that you didn’t trust me with the truth. I don’t like it, and I’m still mad at you, but you need to know that I understand why you did it. I understand and I forgive you.”

  My relief is palpable. I reach out and take Ava into my arms, hugging her tightly.

  “You have no idea how much that means to me,” I say. “You have every right to be angry with me, but I’m glad you understand. I would never do anything to hurt you, Ava. Never!”

  “I know.” She gives me a quick smile before she takes a step back, allowing Layshell room to come forward.

  “This belongs to you,” she says, holding out the mat she made for me.

  “Thank you.” I take it from her slowly. “Are you sure you still want to give it to me?”

  “You bought it,” she says with a shrug. “It’s not a gift. If you’re asking if I’m okay with you, then yes, I guess I am. I don’t know you as well as Ava and some of the others, but you saved my brother’s life. I don’t care what your name is.”

  She turns around and walks away, and I take the mat to spread it out near Aerin.

  “Better than the ground,” Aerin says as she runs her hand over the mat.

  “It’s a little cozy for two.”

  “We’ll make do.”

  We each take a small portion of the mat and lie down, Aerin with her back to me. I wrap my arms around her, and she snuggles against my chest.

  “You meant what you said back there?” she asks. “You want to just leave here, head north, and forget about what we heard in the complex?”

  “I’m not going to forget it,” I reply, “but right now, I just want everyone to be safe.”

  “Maybe we should just go off on our own. Milo makes a good leader. They’ll find a place to settle. They could be just fine.”

  “Could be, I say. “That’s not enough for me. I’m not going to abandon them, even if they seem to think it’s a good idea.”

  “What about your plans for revenge?” Aerin asks softly. “How do they fit in with moving north?”

  “Maybe the best revenge is to make sure everyone survives,” I reply. “Eliminating the Naughts is my father’s real goal. If I can save some of them, isn’t that revenge?”

  “You make a good point.”

  “Are you with me?”

  “Of course I am.” Aerin rolls over and places her lips against my cheek. “I’m just trying to understand.”

  “Understand which part?”

  “Why saving these people is so crucial to you.”

  “I’m not going to just abandon them.”

  “Why not?” Aerin looks at me, and her eyes dance in the firelight. “I’m not trying to be flippant; I’m just trying to understand. What is it about these people that makes you want to help them? You haven’t known them all your life. You have only been with them a few years. Why did you stop wandering when you got to Plastictown? Why are these people so important to you?”

  “Naughts have always been important to me.”

  “But why?”

  “Probably because of my mother,” I say with a shrug.

  “Really? You’ve never talked about her.”

  “I didn’t know her very well. She died when I was young, and I only have a few memories of her, but I know she cared about people. There are two things I remember most about her: She read to me a lot, and she took extra food over the wall and gave it to the Naughts.”

  “It was her idea all along?”

  “I’m not sure, really.” I search my childhood memories, but they’re all in a fog. “I just remember her doing that, so when I got old enough, I did it myself.”

  “So, everything you’ve done to help the Naughts has all been in memory of your mother?”

  “I never really thought about it like that. I suppose it started that way. The first time was when I was just walking near the gates, and there was a family there looking for handouts. I still had some food in my bag from lunch, and I gave it to them. It reminded me of my mom.”

  “You’ve never thought about your own motivations before?”

  “I guess not. I just…do what feels right. I’ve got a lot to make up for, I guess.”

  “You’re talking about the people you’ve…the ones you’ve had to kill.”

  “Yeah.”

  “But when you started all of this, you hadn’t killed anyone. That wasn’t until later, when you escaped.”

  I can’t fault her logic, but I’m also not sure what to think about it.

  “What was her name?”

  “My mom? Helen.”

  “How did she die?”

  “She got sick.” I swallow hard, not wanting to think about this part of my life. “She went to the hospital, but she never came back home.”

  “Did she get the virus?”

  “I think so.”

  “But you don’t know for sure.”

  “I was a kid. I didn’t ask for a lot of details. She went to the hospital one day, and she never came back.”

  “When did you last see her?” Aerin asks.

  “I was seven years old,” I say, “and she handed me my lunch before sending me off to school. When I got home, I was told she was in the hospital, but she was contagious, so I couldn’t go see her. She died a few days later.”

  “Did she seem sick?”

  “Not that I remember.” I frown. “What are you getting at?”

  “Talen, your father had you sent to prison for helping the Naughts, and he told everyone you died in the hospital. Now you’re saying your mother helped the Naughts, and she died in the hospital, too? That doesn’t seem a little coincidental?”