Extra! Extra! Dead All About It (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 12)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “So you’re giving up on chasing Brucker?”

  “I’m postponing it until tomorrow,” I clarified. “I mean, if something presents itself I’ll certainly write about it. But for now my focus is entirely on the four frontrunners.”

  “I knew you were going to say that.” Eliot wrinkled his nose. “Fish gave you too much autonomy on this one. Turning you lose and telling you to dig up whatever you want is not safe.”

  I patted his shoulder in a consoling manner. “It will be totally fine.”

  “Just because you believe it doesn’t mean I believe it.”

  “It will be fine,” I repeated. “Trust me.”

  I LEFT ELIOT TO pretend he wasn’t worried. His store was busy thanks to the festival, and he had his hands full there even though Fawn was working a shift behind the counter. The look of agitation on Eliot’s face when I crossed in front of the window and waved at Fawn was profound, although he also appeared to be amused. Fawn, on the other hand, looked as if she wanted to do me real harm.

  I had no idea why Eliot was so hung up on Tad turning violent when it was clear Fawn was a much larger danger.

  I put thoughts of Eliot and his worry behind me as I cut my way through the festival. The political tent was empty except for two aides – who looked as if they wished they could be anywhere but where they were – so I pointed myself toward Macomb Place, a one-way street littered with display tents and booths for the crafts fair, and took my time as I picked my way through the busy area. The street was absolutely packed, and I didn’t want to miss anything.

  Unfortunately, I was so focused on not missing anything I didn’t notice a familiar figure until he was practically on top of me. I jolted when I felt his hand on my shoulder and then turned to him with the darkest scowl in my arsenal.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Is that any way to greet your grandfather?”

  “Fine. What are you doing here, old dude?”

  Grandpa narrowed his eyes and extended a finger. “Other people might find that mouth of yours cute. I don’t happen to be one of them, missy.”

  Oh, well, great. Somehow the universe had added babysitters when I wasn’t looking. Eliot might find the development amusing, but I certainly did not. “I think you do find me funny,” I challenged. “That’s why you’re here. You know I’m interested in the candidates for Tuesday’s election and you want to be part of the fun.”

  Grandpa ran a hand through his thinning dark hair. It was shot through with gray now and barely covered the bald spot on top of his head. He thought people didn’t notice – which was fine because he was still handsome – but his insistence on constantly fussing with his hair escaped me.

  “I don’t ever find you funny,” Grandpa argued. “In fact, you’re the least funny of all my grandchildren.”

  Oh, he knew there was no way I would let that comment go without an argument. “Two weeks ago, Nancy – she’s the cousin who eats her own hair, in case you’ve forgotten – spent twenty minutes at family dinner telling a story about seeing a spider that turned out to be a batch of thread on the floor. Do you want to stick with your assessment that I’m unfunny compared to my relatives?”

  Grandpa’s lips curved. “Fine. You’re funny. That Nancy is a real imbecile, isn’t she? I’m convinced she was switched out with your real cousin at the hospital. There’s no way my genes led to something that stupid.”

  I couldn’t blame him for being agitated on that front. “You’re probably right.” I rolled my neck as I shifted my gaze to the crowd. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.”

  “I think you know.”

  “The food truck?”

  Grandpa nodded. “We’ll make good money today. This place is packed. I can’t believe you didn’t want us to come.”

  “I didn’t want you to come because I knew you’d cramp my style.” I saw no reason to lie. “I’m trying to fly under the radar while spying on the top four candidates running for the county commission seat.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about us cramping your style. I learned my lesson about spending too much time with you a few weeks ago.”

  I sobered at the words. My grandfather had been hurt on my last adventure, taking a blow to the head from a crazy secretary. He was okay – and he’d milked his convalescence to ridiculous proportions with everyone in the family – but I still felt a spot of guilt for getting him into that situation. “I’m sorry about that.”

  Grandpa waved off the apology. “Oh, don’t turn into a whiner like your cousins. I’m fine. In fact, the family turned me into a bit of a hero because I saved your life. I got to be lazy for two whole weeks because of it. It wasn’t a bad deal.”

  “You saved my life?” That wasn’t exactly how I remembered it. “When?”

  “When I swooped in and helped you escape.”

  “When did you swoop in?”

  “You know exactly when,” Grandpa chided. “Quit trying to distract me and tell me what you’re doing today. I probably won’t want to help, but I might want to help you spy or something. You never know what will tickle my fancy.”

  That was a delightful thought. “I’m looking for the four candidates running for office.” I grabbed a brochure from the festival hospitality table a few feet away and handed it to him. “See that.” I pointed. “It’s touting a debate in the fountain square after six tonight. Those four pictures belong to the candidates. They’re the ones I’m looking for.”

  Grandpa furrowed his brow as he stared at the photos. “I don’t like the looks of him.” He tapped his finger against Rupert Rayne’s face. “He looks like a pervert.”

  “And what exactly does a pervert look like?”

  “You know … perverted.” Grandpa flicked his eyes to Elizabeth Justice. “She looks like a lesbian.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Look at the pantsuit she’s wearing.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What is it with men your age thinking lesbians wear pantsuits?”

  “In my day a woman wore a skirt to show off her legs. That’s how we knew she was a girl.”

  “Oh, whatever.” I tamped down my irritation. I loved my grandfather, but he was a sexist pig when he wanted to be. “If you see any of those faces, text me so I can track them down. I’m trying to eavesdrop on all of them this afternoon.”

  “Well, at least you’re honest when you’re being an ethically-challenged sneak. I like that about you.” Grandpa kept his gaze on the flyer. “Isn’t this that idiot you used to date?”

  I exhaled heavily as Grandpa pointed at Tad. “Yeah. Don’t remind me. I’ve already had words with him this morning.”

  “I can’t figure out why you dated him in the first place.”

  That made two of us. “I was smoking a lot of pot then … drinking a lot. I was probably suffering from some sort of alcohol psychosis.”

  “If that’s your story.”

  “It is. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to keep looking for my quarry. I have two days – today and tomorrow – to figure out exactly what’s going on. Once the election hits, it will be too late.”

  “My money is on you, kid.” Grandpa smirked. “If you make one of them cry – which I always approve of – make sure it’s that moron you used to date. I can’t stand him.”

  “Do you like anybody?”

  Grandpa shrugged. “I occasionally like you, but I have a feeling I won’t by the end of the day.”

  I grinned. “I feel the same way about you.”

  “I know. I have a certain charisma that I passed on to you. People either love us or hate us.”

  That was a fairly astute realization. “That’s true, isn’t it?”

  “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

  “You’ve got that right.”

  I LEFT GRANDPA TO argue with Mario – they looked to be putting on a community theater show given the crowd gathering around their truck – and returned to my covert operation. I hadn’t made it very
far before I ran into another set of familiar faces.

  “There you are.” My best friend Carly – her stomach huge thanks to the baby she carried – fixed me with a dark look as she slurped on a slush. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

  I offered a sympathetic smile for her husband, Kyle, who I felt had to be one of the most henpecked men in the entire state. I loved Carly. We got along well. She was an even worse bully than me at times, though, and that was saying something.

  “I didn’t realize you were looking for me,” I said dryly, giving her belly a wide berth. “I wouldn’t think a festival would be your idea of fun given your condition.”

  Carly narrowed her eyes. “And what condition is that?”

  “You have an alien inside of you.”

  “So what?” Carly’s irritation was obvious. “That doesn’t mean I have a condition. I’m simply doing the same thing women have done throughout time. I’m not special.”

  This was a new development. When she first found out she was pregnant, Carly declared her life was over and wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Then, the next few weeks she made everyone around her want to die because the morning sickness was enough for her to declare she’d clearly caught the plague and we were all at risk.

  I thought things had settled down when she hit her second trimester and the morning sickness went away. Apparently I was wrong. Now she was going the other way, turning herself into some sort of commando. That wouldn’t end well.

  “Hey, if I were in your position I’d spend all my time in bed with the remote control in my hand,” I argued. “You’re growing a human being inside of you. Make Kyle pretend he’s your servant and eat ice cream in bed, for crying out loud. If you can’t milk it, what’s the point of getting pregnant in the first place?”

  “I think it’s so you can have a baby,” Kyle offered.

  “Yeah, but who wants that?”

  “I do.” Kyle turned serious. “I’ve always wanted a baby. Who doesn’t want a baby?”

  “Ignore her.” Carly patted her hand against Kyle’s chest. “She claims she’s allergic to babies, but I don’t believe it. I’m going to test her after I give birth, and then I’ll know if she’s a liar.”

  That sounded horrible. “I think that’s a great idea. I want to test you the same day with a cat, because you say you’re allergic to cats and I don’t believe that’s true.”

  Carly narrowed her eyes. “A cat is not a baby.”

  “Tell that to half the crazy cat ladies I know,” I shot back. “Just for the record, I think the cats are a better idea than kids. That’s just me, though.”

  “Ugh. I can’t even talk to you sometimes.” Carly rubbed her forehead. “I knew you’d be here today. I thought we could hang out. Now I’m not sure I want to do it.”

  “I have to work.”

  “The whole day?”

  I shrugged. “I have four candidates to watch and I want to dig up dirt on all of them. I’ve already talked to two of them – and they were weird conversations – but I have a few others to talk to. Plus, I’m interested in spying on them when they think no one is listening. That’s when you hear the best stuff.”

  “How can you be sure that they’re all here?” Carly asked.

  “Because they’re having a debate by the fountain in several hours. They’re all here to work the crowd and then spout a bunch of nonsense for potential voters. I can guarantee they’re all here.”

  “Well, tell me what they look like and I’ll text you if I see them.”

  Hmm. I was starting to like this idea of making friends and family serve as personal spies. “I’ll grab a flyer. By the way, you haven’t run into anyone else I know, have you?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  I smiled. “No reason. I just have an idea.”

  “Those are never comforting words,” Carly complained. “Still, being pregnant doesn’t mean I’m weak. I’m ready to help you with your mission.”

  That was exactly what I wanted to hear.

  19 Nineteen

  I stumbled across Lexie and some dude who looked like an extra from a bad movie depicting gang violence standing next to Grandpa’s food truck. I’d finished my circuit of the craft festival and found no one interesting to eavesdrop on, which meant I had to fight my way through the crowds and return to Main Street if I wanted to track down my candidates.

  “I was looking for you.” Lexie is four feet and eleven inches of mischief and mayhem wrapped in a cute little package. She looks completely innocent, as if angels weep when she dares open her mouth, but she’s more trouble than I ever dreamed of being.

  “I didn’t know you were coming. You showed up late to family dinner, and we didn’t have a chance to talk before I left.”

  “You mean fled,” Lexie corrected. “It was pretty obvious you and Eliot couldn’t get out of there fast enough after you pointed your mother toward Derrick and Devon and then whispered, ‘Go get them’ in her ear.”

  I wanted to argue, but it was true. “Hey, your brother deserves everything he gets after what he pulled this week.”

  “I don’t even know what he did and I’m on your side,” Lexie supplied. “He’s always been an annoying jerk. By the way, have you met Striker?”

  She gestured toward the tall man – he towered over her by more than a foot – and he appeared genuinely disinterested in the conversation.

  Hmm. What happened to Jägermeister? “Striker, huh?” I looked him up and down. He wore what I was certain were the new Nike offerings – the ones going for two grand a pop – and his hands were shoved in his pockets. “Is that your given name?”

  Striker shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  “I guess not.” I had no doubt, much like all of Lexie’s other boyfriends, Striker would disappear within a few days. “I can’t hang around. I need to track down some candidates and spy on them.”

  “At least you’re doing something productive with your day.” Lexie made a show of glancing around. “I’m not sure how long we’ll hang around. This isn’t really our scene.”

  “Definitely not,” Striker agreed.

  “Well, have fun doing whatever you have planned.” I offered Lexie a pointed smile. “Don’t get arrested or anything, no matter how much you like this one.”

  “Ugh. You sound like my mother.”

  Well, that was better than sounding like my mother. “I’ll be around.” I offered a half-hearted wave and then disappeared into the crowd. I kept my eyes open for signs of candidates as I made my way back to the main drag, but I came up empty. I headed toward Eliot’s shop to see if he had any information or sightings to report, but I was distracted when I realized Justice and Rayne were standing on the sidewalk about twenty feet from his store. They had their heads bent together and looked to be deep in conversation.

  Hmm. I made up my mind on the spot and turned back, scurrying around the side of the corner building and racing down the narrow alley that led to Eliot’s back door. Thankfully it was unlocked, so I let myself inside, ignoring Fawn’s indignant look when I popped into the showroom.

  “What are you doing?” Eliot asked, looking up from the magazine he was flipping through.

  “Nothing. I’ll be right back.” I headed toward the front door, which was propped open, and dropped to my knees before sliding to a stop beneath the front window. The way the windows were set up, I could sit on the floor with my back to the wall and not be seen – the windows were higher – and listen to conversations on the sidewalk. That was exactly what I wanted.

  “Why is she on the floor?” Fawn asked, confused.

  “Who knows?” Eliot didn’t look bothered, merely curious. “Are you on the run from the cops?”

  I shook my head and pressed a finger to my lips as I tried to listen through the opening. There were so many people on the sidewalk it was impossible. I caught the occasional words that I was sure Justice and Rayne uttered, but it was hardly earthshattering stuff.

  Instead of
speaking, Eliot slipped from behind the counter and moved to the east side of his shop, putting himself at the appropriate angle to scan the sidewalk. His eyes were busy for a moment and then they focused, and I was certain he was looking at Justice and Rayne.

  “I see you found some of your candidates.”

  I nodded. “I can’t hear what they’re saying, though. I don’t suppose you can read lips, can you?”

  Eliot shook his head. “They don’t look as if they’re plotting anything to me. I think they’re just talking.”

  “Oh, they’re plotting. Politicians always plot. That’s simply what they do.”

  “Well, at least you have solid evidence for your conclusion,” Eliot drawled. “I’m glad you decided to show up, though. We’re about to order lunch. Do you want to eat with us?”

  Fawn reacted before I had a chance to answer. “Oh, I’m sure Avery is much too busy with her work to join us. We don’t want to distract her.”

  I considered arguing just to argue – that is my way, after all – but Fawn was right. “I can’t. I need to keep spying and I want to talk to a few of the aides. The one at the table now is the one I told you about.”

  Eliot flicked his eyes to the tent across the street. “What did you say her name was?”

  “Honor. I want to see if she’s come up with more information. She clearly doesn’t like Tad and she seemed open to the idea of sharing nasty stories as long as I don’t quote her.”

  “What good is she if you can’t quote her?” Fawn asked.

  “She gives me information and then I slap Tad upside the head with it and make him squirm. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.”

  “It doesn’t make much sense to me.”

  “I think you can probably say that about most things in life, huh?” I pushed myself to a standing position and brushed off the seat of my pants. “I’ll be close and stop in, but I have to keep digging.”

  Eliot nodded. “Okay. If I see your face every hour or so I’ll be happy.”