You Are So Undead to Me

by Stacey Jay

  I'd obviously underestimated what I could do with a little extra power.

  "We have to go now!" Ethan said, shouting to be heard. The fire had taken on that sort of ocean waves quality I had always associated with wood burning, so I suspected the blaze had spread to the building itself.

  A loud pop sounded above the roar of the flames and the wailing zombies, and seconds later a huge chunk of the rafters crashed to the floor beside us. The roof was on fire. We had to run for it or risk burning up right along with the corpses stumbling around us.

  Ethan grabbed me beneath the arms and hauled me to my feet, kicking zombies out of our way as we dashed toward the door I'd come in with Jess. That felt like ages ago. Time really tended to drag when you were waiting to die by zombie attack. Judging from the black circle slowly easing across the full moon hanging low on the horizon, I'd only been inside for forty-five minutes.

  It was nearly ten. The eclipse was getting ready to happen and there were already zombies shambling through the forest toward the homecoming dance.

  We were going to have to haul some serious ass.

  Ethan must have been on my wavelength because he grabbed my hand and was booking it through the woods before I could say a word. Despite the adrenaline dumping into my system, I was grateful for the help getting my move on. The last exuro spell had drained my energy big-time. But Ethan didn't even slow down as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and contacted Settlers' Affairs to give them the update on the situation at CHS. Unfortunately, from what I heard of his side of the call, our reinforcements were still at least ten minutes away.

  That meant it was up to us to stop Beth and Jess. Jess was never going to let me live, not as long as there was breath in her body. I knew that for a fact.

  So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when one of the shadows lurking in the trees suddenly came to life and tackled me to the ground. But I was. Surprised, that is. So surprised I didn't even struggle at first, giving my ex-best friend plenty of time to slide the sharp blade of her knife under my chin.

  CHAPTER 19

  Don't even think about it, Ethan. Stay right where you are. I'll kill her right now if you take another step," Jess said, pressing the blade into the soft skin beneath my chin until I had to fight the urge to gag.

  After all the zombies and magical madness, this was how I was going out. The irony was not lost on me, no matter how terrified I felt.

  "Listen, Jessica, relax. Let's talk about your options." Ethan's voice was calm and collected, like we were all discussing which diner to go to for burgers after the dance.

  Bonus points to him for the cool head in the midst of a crisis, but I doubted anything he said was going to make a difference. I could feel Jess trembling all over, feel the tension in her hand that revealed she was only a breath away from slicing open my throat. She was too close to the edge to be talked back now.

  The realization made me start shaking.

  I'd thought all I had to worry about was helping contain a few hundred zombies-like that wasn't enough. But here I was, getting ready to die for the third or fourth time tonight.

  I suddenly wished I'd told Ethan how I felt about him. In the midst of fighting zombies certainly wasn't the time or place to tell the first boy you'd ever loved how you felt, but it sure beat dying before you had the chance to spill your guts.

  In that moment, the true importance of my job became blindingly clear. That was what was so amazing about being a Settler, what Mom had been trying to tell me for years. We gave people the chance to finish up their earthly business, to say or do those things their souls had been craving so they could truly rest in peace.

  It was a priceless gift, but it wasn't one I wanted to take advantage of myself. I didn't want to crawl out of my grave-I wanted to live to see my sixteenth birthday! And preferably a few dozen birthdays after that.

  "We're not going to talk about anything," Jess snapped. "I'm going to take Megan to her mom's car and she's going to drive me out of here. That's how it's going-"

  "And where is she going to take you?" Ethan asked, edging slightly closer in the near complete blackness. "Back to your house for a slumber party? I can swear to you Settlers' Affairs isn't going to let you get away with this even if there isn't enough evidence to convict in human court. They've been specializing in making people like you disappear for thousands of years."

  What was he doing? Giving her an excuse to off herself after she finished with me?

  "Beth got away from them. I'm sure I can-"

  "Beth got away because SA underestimated her, thought she was just a kid. After tonight I don't think they'll be making that same mistake."

  "Whatever. I'll figure out where to go. I'll figure out something." Jess's voice rose hysterically as the moon's light was snuffed out and the woods suddenly became as dark the inside of her giant walk-in closet, the one we used to hide in to tell ghost stories when we were in junior high.

  Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, and it was suddenly all I could do not to cry. We'd been best friends, as close as sisters. I'd never dreamed that someday she'd be sitting on top of me with a knife at my throat.

  Then I heard a muffled grunt and Jess's weight was knocked off my body. She screamed, and metal clanged against bone.

  Heart racing, I scrambled to my hands and knees in the utter blackness. Even with a small sliver of moon beginning to shine through, it was still too dark too see what had happened.

  "Watch out!" Ethan's shout was drowned out by Jess's scream as the Reanimated Corpse on top of her dug its teeth into her arm.

  I couldn't believe it. I'd been saved by a zombie. One of the RCs I'd worked the reverto spell on, no doubt. Jess hissed a few words in what sounded like French-I guess whatever spell she thought she had to use to keep the zombie from eating her-but the RC had already pulled back from her skin. Soon it was stumbling away through the quickly lightening woods, headed back to its grave. Ethan was behind Jess a second later, hauling her to her feet with her hands behind her back.

  "Thanks," I said, feeling strangely numb as I struggled to stand. "Megan, are you okay?" Ethan asked.

  "Yeah, I just… um. Yeah, I'm fine." I pushed away the dizzy feeling trying to get started in my head. I didn't have time to be dizzy. We still had zombies to take care of.

  "You won't be for long," Jess screamed, her words barely intelligible as she was now full-on bawling. "Beth will kill you. She loves me, she-"

  "I think it's time you shut the hell up," Ethan said, spinning Jess around and marching her toward the dance. "Come on, Megan. We'll tie this witch up somewhere out of the way. We've got to get everyone out of the gym before-"

  "It's taken care of, but hurry. We don't have much time." Monica appeared on the path just ahead, frantically motioning for us to follow her back toward the school. "I pulled the fire alarm before the RCs got there, but they've reached the gym for sure by now. And I have no idea where Beth is."

  So Monica hadn't cut and run after all. She'd actually had the forethought to go clear out the gym before the student body of CHS had the chance to get up close and personal with a bunch of hungry skeletons. The chick was evil, but she was certainly not stupid.

  And maybe not so evil, really, at least not when compared to the blonde sobbing her eyes out as Ethan tugged her along the trail. I still couldn't believe Jess had done all of this. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to reconcile the person she'd turned out to be with the best friend I'd counted on for so much of my life.

  "Let's cut over to the gravel road and go around to the back entrance of the gym. Less likely to run into any RCs on the way," Ethan said, already on the move.

  "Yeah, there were like fifty of them crossing the street a few minutes ago."

  "Crap," I said, that dizzy feeling sweeping over me again. "We're going to need a miracle to keep them contained."

  "Elder Freedman was undercover chaperoning the dance; he's doing his best to keep the rest of the chaperones and students away from
the gym," Monica panted as we fell in step beside her, Ethan pulling Jess along so fast her feet barely touched the ground.

  "I guess that means we're on our own until SA arrives," Ethan said, moving even faster.

  "So what? We've got super-Settler Megan Berry. What do we need a bunch of old Elder farts for?" Monica asked. And, wonder of wonders, there was only the slightest trace of sarcasm in her tone.

  "And I think I've got a spell that will take care of the rest of these things. I'll tell you on the way," I said, a plan forming in my dizzy brain.

  "Cool," Monica said.

  Wow. Who would have thought? This might actually be the beginning of a friendship…

  Okay, maybe not. But a truce was definitely looking good.

  ***

  By the time we tied Jess to a tree behind the gym and hustled down to the back entrance, there was no doubt the zombies were running amok inside. Even from ten feet outside the shut doors we could hear horrible crashing sounds, underscored by the hungry groans of the undead.

  Thankfully, Elder Freedman had managed to get the rest of the student body pulled back to the lawn in front of the main school building. But RCs wouldn't stay contained in the gym for long, not when there wasn't anything flesh possessing running around inside to feed upon.

  "You're sure about this, Megan?" Ethan asked.

  "Positive. I know the spell, and I'm the only one who can work this version of it. Just cover cleanup duty and I'll handle the rest," I said, forcing away my last shreds of doubt.

  I'd never actually worked the version of the pax frater corpus spell Kitty had taught me-or any version of the pax frater corpus spell- but at least I had it memorized. Besides, it was the only thing I could think of that could get this situation under control.

  There were already at least twenty corpses out there that I'd worked the reverto spell on and who would be looking for a bite of Beth or Jess. We couldn't risk any more.

  The pax frater was our only hope. I had to put those zombies down, and we had to get the gym cleaned up before the human firefighters responded to the alarm. SA had an operative undercover at the fire department, but she would only be able to buy us so much time. We were down to the wire, and every second counted.

  "Be careful," Ethan said, looking like he wanted to say more.

  But there wasn't time to find out what. Together, Ethan and I flung open the door, and the three of us exploded into the gym.

  "This way!" I heard Monica scream as she pulled Ethan toward the equipment storage room, but then my awareness of everything else faded.

  The world narrowed to the blood-smeared gym floor before me. Hundreds of zombies swarmed over what remained of the homecoming dance decorations, like flies on a ruined birthday cake. Beth must have made it here and dumped the pig blood, even though there were no longer any students left to baptize. It was the only explanation for the red-stained crepe paper and the mounds of soaked cotton that had once been puffy clouds artfully scattered throughout the room.

  A walk in the clouds. That had been the theme for the dance, but now it looked more like a walk through hell.

  Blood dripped off the edges of the refreshment table and the stage where the homecoming court would have sat, and the zombies had been whipped into a crazed frenzy by the pure abundance of the red stuff. They were down on the floor, smearing their bony fingers and faces in the blood puddles, frantic to consume something that had once belonged to the living.

  And in the areas where they were running out of pig blood, the zombies had turned on each other, howling in desperate fury as they lunged at the red fingers and faces of their undead comrades. It was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen: a horror movie brought to life for my own personal viewing displeasure.

  Then suddenly a calming breeze seemed to sweep over the RCs as first one and then another sensed a living, breathing human in the room. A human with blood even fresher than the stuff splattered across the basketball court.

  Dozens and then hundreds of glowing red eyes turned toward where I stood, but, strangely, I wasn't afraid-at least not as afraid as I'd thought I'd be. I was Megan Berry, Settler of the Dead, and in that moment I knew I'd been given crazy amounts of power for a reason.

  I was ready to get this situation Settled. Permanently.

  "Pax frater corpus, potestatum spirituum," I began chanting as I rushed forward to meet the first wave of zombies.

  The first two I kicked square in the ribs with as much force as I could muster, beyond grateful to see them crumple to the ground and lie still as soon as my tennis shoe connected with bone. With a shout of celebration I spun around, landing another kick to an RC closing in behind me before turning back to the corpses stumbling over the bones of their fallen comrades.

  "Inmundorum ut eicerent eos et-" A round-the-world jazz kick knocked out another three zombies, but the corpses pushing in behind got up close and personal before I regained my footing.

  On instinct, I lashed out with rapid punches, using sharp upper thrusts with the heel of my hand to fell half a dozen of the RCs. My dad had assured me the move could break an attacker's nose and would certainly make any normal bad guy think twice about coming for me again. Thankfully, it worked on the nonliving as well.

  Another dozen zombies fell to the ground as I continued to chant and punch, pushing my way deeper into the gym, leaving a trail of bones behind me that I leapt over with a dancer's grace. Thankfully, my balance didn't falter for a moment and my concentration was complete. My entire body was finally vibrating on the right frequency, flowing with the power instead of fighting it.

  It was almost like dancing. Which meant the usually klutzy Megan was replaced with the one who could seamlessly blend one move into another, who could make a choreographed dance look like an organic improvisation.

  Or in this case, make improvisation work as smoothly as any rehearsed performance.

  "Curarent omnem languorem," I chanted, actually feeling a smile stretch across my face as I dipped and swung and kicked, finding I needed less and less force to deactivate the undead.

  A part of me realized Ethan and Monica were fighting a few feet behind me, working the pax frater corpus the old-fashioned way, with javelins they'd lifted from the equipment room, but the rest of me was riding the wave of energy flowing through my cells like a whirlwind.

  More Settler power than I'd ever felt before rushed across my skin, burst from my hands and feet as I lashed out at the zombies. The dizziness I'd been feeling since leaving the church in the woods was still there, making my lips buzz and my teeth tingle, but it couldn't compete with the force of the raw energy surging inside.

  It felt like I was pulling power from everywhere, from the undead I was Settling, from the blood on the floor, even from the stale air filling the gym. I was practically floating off the ground as I leapt over another pile of bones, the movement nearly effortless.

  Until I forgot to turn around quite fast enough.

  "Et omnem infirmitat - " Skeletal arms grabbed me from behind. I slammed my knuckles back, aiming for where I assumed its face would be and thankfully connected, but two more RCs tackled me before I could shrug off the bones encircling my chest. I caught a glimpse of Ethan and Monica being overwhelmed by their own mess of zombies before I fell to the ground.

  I kept chanting the pax frater corpus for all I was worth as I thrashed beneath a mounting pile of skeleton zombies, but I could feel my power rush fading fast. I'd taken out nearly a hundred of the undead, but there were still so many, too many for one Settler to take out on her own.

  For what felt like the millionth time, I was sure I was going to die. A scream of frustration and rage erupted from my chest as I fought even harder. It was a hopeless situation, but I could at least-

  "Pax frater corpus, potestatum spirituum." A woman's chants suddenly broke through the wailing of the remaining undead. Seconds later the zombies on top of me stopped moving and a tiny hand appeared through the skeletons.

  Kitty! I never
thought I'd be so glad to see a member of Enforcement in my life.

  She tugged me free of the zombie pig pile and then turned back to the gym floor. I fell in behind her, wobbling with exhaustion. I managed to take out a few more RCs as we worked our way across the room to where Smythe and Barker were pax frater corpus- ing the last of the remaining undead, but that energy wave I'd been riding before didn't return.

  Instead, I felt like I was moving through Jell-O, each kick and punch more difficult than the last. By that time the final zombies were on the ground, hastily being gathered into volleyball carts by the half dozen Protocol officers from Settlers' Affairs who had appeared on the scene, I was completely wasted.

  It was all I could do to stay on my feet. I was dizzy. Everything was spinning… I stumbled and would have fallen if Ethan hadn't grabbed my arm.

  "Megan, are you okay?" he asked.

  "Yeah, I just… um. I'm just not really feeling that well." That was the understatement of the year. I actually felt like my head was about to float off my body and my stomach was going to sink down to the bottom of my feet. Weird sensations alone, but together they were especially awful.

  "Let me help you out of here. The fire trucks are headed down Main right now; we've only got a few minutes-"

  "Scratch that, a few seconds," Monica said, jumping over a pile of zombies to reach us. "Enforcement said they're going to torch the rest of the skeletons. There's no more time."

  "Come on, let's go," Ethan said, looping an arm around my waist.

  "Okay, yeah… but I think I'm-" My knees buckled and I fell to the ground despite Ethan's attempt to catch me one-handed.

  "What's wrong with-" Monica's face swam into focus above me as I struggled to keep my eyes open.

  "Are you still feeding that exuro spell?" Ethan asked, sounding freaked. "You've got to stop, Megan. You can die from-"