Jenna's Eternal Lover
Page 4
“Hmm.” The vicar tipped his head thoughtfully. “I must think on this. Perhaps I see a sermon…” He rubbed his chin between finger and thumb.
Lady Mary smiled. “We will look forward to it,” she said, “but now I think we must leave for the church.”
For some time there had been a faint rumble of carriage wheels on the paving stones at the front of the house as, one after another, coachmen drove up and stopped for other guests and then drove them off to the church. The vicar pulled a large pocket watch from his fob pocket. He snapped it open and then looked a trifle alarmed. “Oh yes. Oh dear. We must go at once.” He turned to leave the room and then, remembering, turned back. “Mrs. Jennings, dear one, I will come see you again in the new year…”
He was already turning away as Jenna nodded, thinking to herself that it would likely be before the new year and not merely a friendly visit but she didn’t wish to upset the gentleman just before the very important Christmas service he was about to conduct. She caught Mary’s gaze and understanding passed between them. Mary, who had opened her mouth to say that perhaps he should return sooner, closed it again. Jenna nodded approval of Mary’s decision and Mary, still with her arm through her husband’s, followed the others from the room.
Jenna, listening, heard voices in the hall below, heard them leaving and the sound of hooves and carriage wheels drifting in and up through the entry way to the bedroom floor. She smiled and then, as the front door slammed shut, nodded. The servants would leave by the kitchen door so, for an hour or so, she and Mel would be alone except for the children asleep in the nursery and those watching over them. She looked at where her diaphanous lover stood at the end of her bed.
“Now?” she asked just a trifle wistfully.
Sadly he shook his head. Not just yet, my love. My dearest love. Soon. But not just yet…
Jenna sighed. She so much wished to join him, to begin their new adventure. Together again. Together…finally and forever. Her sigh was joined by another. Her gaze flew to meet his and they smiled at each other.
“Yes,” she said. “Soon. Oh, Mel, you cannot think how happy I am that we will soon be together again. Truly together.”
Christmas Day will be quiet, Jenna. You’ll rest between visits from the family. I think they have need of that time with you, my love, so don’t be selfish. Not so very long now and we’ll have eternity.
“Eternity. Mel, you don’t know how lovely that sounds.”
He chuckled. You think I don’t know? Silly Jenna, he finished softly, lovingly.
Chapter Three
The next morning, Boxing Day, some had not yet wrapped all their gifts. Everyone had brought them but traveling with beautifully wrapped packages might muss them too much. Now Serena stood beside Sarah finishing the last few. “A finger, Sarah?” she asked, holding two ends of a wide ribbon she’d carefully placed around a large flat box.
Sarah laid aside the child’s gown she was folding into tissue paper before placing it in still another box. She moved nearer and put her finger on the knot. “I saw what you put in the box. It’s a beautiful robe, Serena.”
“I saw the material and knew it was perfect for Jenna so I had it made up for her.”
Sarah bit her lip. “You think…”
Serena’s chin lifted a notch. “Everyone is so certain she’s next door to death. I refuse to believe it.”
Sarah frowned. “You know how much she’s suffered.”
“I’ve heard about how she suffered when Lord Everston died and then about the septic foot she lost because she was tied up so tightly by those awful men who kidnapped you. But Sarah, she’s not all that old. And she’s so strong. She’s recovered in the past and she’ll recover again.” Serena lifted her chin, a stubborn set to her head and shoulders. “I’m certain she will.” On the words, Serena pulled the bow tight and Sarah removed her finger just in time. “She’ll get a lot of use out of this robe.”
“I…hope you’re right.”
“But you don’t believe it?” asked Serena, finally meeting Sarah’s gaze.
Sarah shook her head slightly and then sighed. “Serena, she wants to go. She doesn’t want to get well. She wants to join his lordship.”
Serena’s mouth tightened. “Not you too.”
“Not me too what?” asked Sarah not quite sensibly.
“Surely you don’t believe all that nonsense about Jenna and her ghostly lover.” Serena held up her hand when Sarah would have responded. “Don’t get me wrong. Jenna is a wonderfully wise woman. She’s as sane as anyone. It is just this silly kink in her thinking, her belief she actually sees and talks to a dead lover. Can’t you see how nonsensical that is? I love Jenna dearly. She very likely saved me from being stupid all over again when Rome returned. All I dared hope was that I’d not lost him as a friend as well as my only love—which I almost did when I thought he mocked me by starting his school, that his was a sham rather than the wonderful institution it has become so quickly. It was her doing that I matured enough I could see how childish my thinking was when Rome originally asked me to wed him. She showed me how silly it was to take on a guilt that wasn’t mine. And then, of course, my belief I must save Rome from himself so to speak. You know. The feeling I had that I was ineligible to be anyone’s wife because of my father’s idiocy? Jenna is wonderful, Sarah but I’ll never understand how she and, it seems, all of you, believe in this ghost nonsense. I don’t think you should have encouraged it. If I understand correctly, it has been going on ever since the man died. Why hasn’t anyone objected and helped her get over her grief so she could go on with her life?”
“Perhaps,” said Sarah a trifle coldly, “because some of us have seen him and more of us have heard him and we know he exists.”
“I’ve heard tales of how he spoke to Jacob,” said Serena, thinking of Verity’s husband, “but Jacob, at that time, was drinking heavily, was he not? It’s not at all odd that he heard voices. You’ll have to admit he’s not heard any ghostly voices recently,” she said, a touch of scorn to her tone.
But he has! Sarah sighed and shook her head, knowing that to tell Serena both Jacob and Verity had recently heard the old gentleman would not be acceptable to Roman’s wife, that it would only upset her.
“It’s nonsense. It is such nonsense,” insisted Serena staring until Sarah dropped her gaze. Serena huffed softly, still a trifle irritated before she set aside the box and reached for a pair of slippers she’d embroidered for Rube.
Sarah, wanting to argue, accepted that it would do no good and returned to wrapping the beautifully embroidered dress she’d made for little Maria.
The women worked silently, both wondering if they’d said too much…or too little.
Several others entered the room Lady Mary had set aside so packages could be wrapped on the big table. Most were already piled under another larger Christmas tree out in the hall but some were not. Some required the fancy hand-painted papers, an assortment of ribbons and boxes of all sizes, carefully saved from year to year, that were stacked on a sideboard. Lady Mary went there after setting down a pile of papers, pictures, small mementos and other oddments. The others added things to her pile while she chose a box.
“What have you there?” asked Serena, carefully tucking tissue around the slippers.
“We wrote you about it, Serena.” Lady Mary turned, blinking. “Don’t tell me you didn’t receive my letter?”
Serena picked up a paper from the pile. She read it and looked up. “You sent me letter? Something about this?” The page fluttered in her hand and she frowned, shaking her head.
“Drat. I’m sorry you didn’t get it. The thing is, we want something for Jenna but could come up with nothing that seemed suitable given the situation. Lady Kathryn had this notion.” Mary gestured at the pile. “We were hoping you’d add to it before we wrapped it all up but if you didn’t get the letter, then you didn’t bring anything for the box.”
Serena cast a quick glance at her own gift to Jenna an
d frowned. “I don’t understand.” She tied a bow around the box holding the slippers.
“Well, she’ll not be wanting any of the usual sorts of things, will she?” asked Lady Mary, sorting through the papers and finally picking one up to read. She grinned. “Jenna will love this one.”
“Not be wanting…” murmured Serena frowning. Her mouth tightened. She would not believe Jenna was dying. The pressure of tears behind her lids forced her to lower her head. She pretended to concentrate on the ribbon she had chosen for a gift for one of the children.
No one noticed Serena’s distress and there was a scattering of comments and laughter as others chose cards and notes, carefully copied poems and a few fine watercolors. There was also one very sloppy picture painted with much frowning and pouting by young Maria.
“Did Maria tell you what hers is all about?” asked Sarah of Verity, holding the terrible painting.
“Oh yes. You’ll see that she made a figure for each of the children. The one twice the size of anyone else is herself, of course,” said Verity, half proudly and half disapprovingly. “Once it was done she asked me to help her write in the names. Each figure, as you’ll notice if you look carefully, is waving her or his hand. Even the newest infant. Maria told me they were telling Jenna goodbye just as Jenna said they should.”
Serena dropped the box she’d just filled so carefully. “You cannot mean you’ve suggested to the little ones that Jenna is…is…”
“Dying?” Lady Mary straightened. “One should never lie to children. I think you and Rome had been invited to join that moonlight sledding party and weren’t there when Jenna told her story to Maria and two other children who are perhaps too young to quite understand but who may remember the sense of what Jenna said and then understand when they are a little older. She told them herself that it was time for her to say goodbye and that she’d be leaving them but that, someday in the long distant future they’d all be together again. She did it very well. There were a few tears, of course. Actually,” said Lady Mary, grinning, “I dropped a few myself but,” she continued firmly, “it was important the children that can understand, realize that Jenna is ready to go, that she is happy to meet the future and whatever adventures are involved in passing beyond this veil of tears. And make no mistake. For many months now, hers has been a life Jenna felt finished, done, that it was time she joined those who have gone before.”
Serena felt tears racing each other down her cheeks. “How can you all accept it so readily? How can you want her to die?”
“None of us,” said Sarah gently, “wants Jenna to die. What we have had to accept is that she wants it. That she is happy that what she calls ‘her time’ is about upon her.”
“She thinks she’s going to live happily ever after with that ghost you all let her think is real.” Serena came very near to stamping her foot in her frustration with such idiocy.
Lady Mary shook her head, grimacing. “Serena, we cannot make you believe but cannot you not accept that we do? That we know she’ll be joining my father in eternal love, a new beginning of bliss and wonder?”
Serena looked from one woman to another and finally down at the box her hands had destroyed as she listened. Throwing it across the room, she turned on her heel and ran out the door.
After a moment, Sarah sighed. “I’ll just go find Rome. I think she needs him even if she won’t think she wants him. Poor Serena.” At the door, Sarah turned and looked at Lady Mary. “I don’t suppose you could ask your father to prove his existence to her?” There was a wry note to her tone.
Mary laughed but a mild grimace then distorted her features. “I don’t think it works that way, Sarah. I don’t think he’s allowed to show himself merely to make our life easier or to prove his existence to someone who doesn’t believe in him. It’s more complicated than that, perhaps?”
“Rules. Even in heaven there are rules?” asked Lady Kathryn. She chuckled as she shook her head in mock disgust. Her ladyship was never entirely happy with the conventions and customs restricting one’s behavior, particularly female behavior, within the ton, something they all knew. The fact she ran her own stables and sold her own stock was a major rebellion on her part and exceedingly shocking to many. Rules had been her bane and now they were suggesting it would be no different in heaven. Her brows arched in query and her mouth pursed in pretended rue.
“Perhaps it is especially in heaven that there are rules,” said Mary, grinning. She picked up still another page and glanced at it. She nodded. “Jenna won’t understand this one but Rube has taught me to read his language. It is a very beautiful poem and the calligraphy is perfectly lovely, is it not?” she asked as she handed it across the table to Kathryn. “Now Katty, how do you think we should wrap these oddments? Should each item be wrapped separately? Should none be wrapped but all merely dumped into a box?”
“Jenna is too tired most of the time to be bothered with unwrapping things. I think,” suggested Lady Kathryn, “that we should maybe wrap those two little statue things you’ve given her, that fat little man from India and that lovely ivory carving of the lady you brought back from even farther east but beyond that we might do no more than roll up papers and tie them with a ribbon?”
“A good notion. Verity? Do you agree?” asked Mary.
She did and so did Sarah when she returned only a few minutes later. The women set to work.
* * * * *
Very late that afternoon, after the parties for servants and tenants were over and the family was alone, they gathered around the tree in the entry hall. The sound of joyful voices, talking and laughing, rose from below the balcony surrounding the hall. Childish shrillness gave accent to deeper chuckles and lighter female tones. Lying in her bed, her door open, Jenna listened, smiling. “They are all so happy, are they not, Mel?”
Yes. Or mostly.
“Only mostly?” Jenna frowned.
His late lordship sighed. Poor Serena. She feels an outsider among the others who wish us well. She thinks your belief in me is a foible that should have been rooted out at the very beginning. He grinned at her. I’d not have been happy if they’d managed that, my love.
“Nor I. Poor Serena indeed.” Jenna sighed but then smiled again as she heard Maria’s piping voice thanking her aunt Sarah for her beautiful new dress and then insisting she be allowed to change into it. “Will she manage to convince them to let her change?” she asked Mel.
Of course she will. She’ll tell them she wants to come show you how pretty it is.
Some minutes later Jenna cast a mischievous glance toward her dead lover who wore an I-told-you-so expression. She turned back to Maria who stood in the doorway, her hands spreading her skirts about her. “What a very beautiful dress, Maria.”
“Aunt Sarah made it for me.” The child ran a hand down over the delicate embroidery gracing the bodice, a design that was repeated around the lower half of the skirt. “And she made it long and a bit big so I could wear it longer and not grow out of it im-medi-ate-a-ly.” She said the last word as if she’d carefully memorized it. She had. “That means right-away-at-once,” she added in confidential tones.
“It is far too lovely to grow out of immediate-a-ly,” said Jenna and nodded.
“Mama says,” said Maria in that tone that indicated she’d memorized still more words, “that if I’m very careful not to muss it and only wear it for special occasions perhaps I’ll not ruin it and perhaps we can put it away and someday when I’m old I’ll have a little girl and my little girl could wear it.”
Jenna blinked. “Well now that’s an idea, isn’t it? Do you think you can be that careful?” She glanced at Mel who was attempting not to laugh.
Maria frowned, gently brushing down the skirt. Tears filled her great big eyes.
“Why, Maria, dear, what is the matter?”
“I’m afraid I’ll forget,” wailed the little girl and ran toward the bed, pulling herself up on it. “I’ll forget and muss it,” she said and burst into tears.
Maria pushed away and sat up. “You mean I shouldn’t get it dirty and torn, like I when I play outside?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t wear it outside, except perhaps for a coach ride to go visiting or to church or something like that?”
Maria thought about it. “But is so beautiful. I want to wear it all the time.”
“You have other dresses that are very attractive. You’ve a pink for special occasions and that blue you wore the other day and I’m sure you’ve others as well. The blue looked very nice indeed but it was made to be worn and played in and lived in. This one is for special, don’t you think?”
Maria sighed and, looking down at the bodice, patted the lovely embroidery. “Aunt Sarah worked very hard didn’t she?” she asked wistfully.
Verity, Maria’s mother, had told Jenna that Maria was just beginning her very first lessons in embroidery and that they weren’t going all that well. Jenna kept a sober tone with difficulty. “I suspect she worked very hard indeed. But she enjoyed it, you know, even if it was hard work. She likes doing it but she did this because she loves you, you see.”
Maria thought about that for a moment and then sighed even more loudly. “I’d better go and change again. I’ll remember the dress is for special and when I can’t wear it anymore because I’m too big Mama can put it away for when I’m all grown up and have children.”
You could almost see the thoughts churning behind the child’s eyes as they widened with as yet unspoken questions. She opened her mouth, obviously about to ask the first. Jenna, not feeling up to a discussion of how one got children, quickly agreed that Maria should hurry away and ask the maid to help her change back into her red velvet Christmas dress.