Forgiveness For My Mate: Sassy Ever After (Sanctuary for My Mate Book 1)

by Terri A. Wilson

  “Sure, on TV, never in real life. Those were always big wolves. Do you change into a wolf too?”

  “No. I only know of one shifter who shifts into more than one animal.”

  “Oh wow. A solo-act petting zoo.”

  “Cameron would never let kids pet him.”

  “Cameron? Your brother?”

  Connor held out his hands. “Look I need to put on some clothes and then we can talk about this rationally. Will you agree to stay long enough to talk and let me explain?”

  “Get dressed. I’ll be in the living room. You have ten minutes and then I’m out of here.”

  She stormed out, and he found his jeans. This was nothing like he imagined.

  She held out her hand palm facing him to stop him from sitting next to her on the couch. “You stay on that side of the room.” She pointed to the far side of the dining room.

  “This is a lot to absorb. I bet you have a lot of questions.”

  “Were you bit by a falcon?” She held a couch pillow against her.

  “No. Some become shifters through a bite, but I was born a falcon.”

  “You mean your whole family is like you?”

  Connor leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “Yes. I have no idea how many generations we can trace our lineage. My mom stopped after ten.”

  “Ten generations of birds? Did you live in a nest? Were you hatched from an egg?”

  “Seriously? That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “How am I supposed to know what makes sense? Are you going to tell me vampires are real too? What about witches?”

  “Yes, vampires are real. We stay away from them because most of them cause more trouble than they’re worth. What I know about witches mostly comes from the curanderas that live around here. There are as many forms of witchcraft as there are shifters.”

  “Vampires are real?”

  He nodded.

  “You said Cameron can shift into two animals.”

  “Years ago, a bear attacked him while camping. Only later did we realize it was a shifter.”

  “Does he shift into a flying bear?” She snickered at her joke.

  Connor sighed and ground his teeth. He was losing his patience. Her questions bordered on rudeness. “He’s still getting used to it. He struggles to find harmony with two different beasts trapped inside him.”

  “So, there’s a beast trapped inside you? Is it like the alien in that movie?”

  He pursed his lips. Through clenched teeth, he said, “No, it’s hard to explain.” He paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you believe there is an inner voice inside you telling you the difference between right and wrong?”

  “You mean a conscience?”

  “Yeah, a conscience. This is like having a second conscience. It’s a separate spirit that is a complete part of me and I’m a complete part of him.”

  “Your whole family is like this?” She smacked an open palm on her forehead. “Were you at the cabin when I first arrived?”

  He ducked his head, embarrassed. “Yes.”

  “Were you spying on me?”

  “Not spying. I returned home when my falcon noticed the dirt you knocked up. He wanted to see what caused the commotion.”

  “Wait. Is what we did—am I going to turn into something like you?”

  “No, it doesn’t work that way. Sex alone doesn’t make you into a shifter. There has to be a claiming to be bonded.”

  “Claiming?”

  “When shifters bond they claim each other. Bonds are for life. It connects them on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. It goes way beyond a typical marriage.”

  “How does this claiming work?”

  Don’t get excited.

  He pulled out a dining chair, sat, and rested his arms on his knees. “Well, it involves sex.”

  “Of course, it does.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Sex is the most intimate connection two people share. During sex, the mate, normally the female, has to open her soul, and the male connects to her spirit, and they click.”

  “Click? You make it sound like a rom-com.”

  “Well, it’s more than just clicking. It’s hard to explain, but when the male bites the female—”

  “Hold up. The guy has to bite the girl? And why is it usually the man forcing this bondage?”

  He put his head in his hands. After a count of ten, he said, “Tatum, it’s not bondage. There’s a huge difference. Shifter relationships are traditional. The male is alpha over the female. In shifter packs, there is even one, again it’s mostly a man, but a few females have done it, who is alpha.”

  “Are falcons part of a pack?”

  “A family pack. We stay close together. That’s why my family hated me living so far away.”

  “Are there other falcon shifters?”

  “Yes. We have a big barn dance each year.”

  Tatum cocked her head to the side. “Are you making fun of me?”

  “Maybe a little. We don’t all belong to a club, and we don’t have yearly cons. But we keep an eye out for each other.”

  “Do you get along with other shifters?” She put the pillow away and crisscrossed her legs under her.

  “Most of the shifters I’ve met are good people busy living their lives. Just like everyone else.”

  “Do you have special abilities?”

  He scoffed. “Sure, I can shoot laser beams from my eyes.”

  “That’s it. I’m out of here.” She shot up to leave, but he met her at the door. “Tatum. Tatum, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to tease you. Look, I’ve never shared this with anyone outside of the shifter community. I don’t know how it’s done.”

  She faced him. “This is a lot to take in.”

  He put his hands in his pockets. “I understand if you need time to let this sink in, but I need to tell you something before you go. Last night was not fun and games for me. I understand we just met, but you have become someone special.”

  She crossed her arms. “Well, that doesn’t add any pressure.”

  “I’m fantastic at reading people. Last night was special for you too.”

  “You’re right. There is something different about you, but that only makes it more complicated.”

  “How so? I’m still the same guy I was last night.”

  She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “The problem is, I’m not.”

  Tatum packed up, brought her suitcases to the door, and headed to the main parking lot to get her car. Sunday morning was not a good time to make alternate plans, but she’d spend the night at home and then figure out something in the morning.

  The closer she walked to the main building the angrier she grew. This whole place was a freak show. Did others know about the Hanson brothers? Should she tell people? Would anyone believe her if she did?

  As she turned the corner she heard, “Take a cleansing breath in and hold for a count of three.” Wednesday moved her yoga class outside. There was no way to avoid the scattered group.

  “Good morning Tatum. We’ve just started. Grab a mat and join us.”

  Several students stared annoyed. Tatum’s face warmed. Meditation was the last thing she wanted. She smiled and shook her head.

  “Come on. Yoga is the best way to start the morning.”

  Tatum watched as she opened her arms wide inviting her to the group.

  Is she one of them?

  “Come on class, show her how much we’d like her to join us.” She clapped, and the students joined her.

  Shit.

  Left with no other choice, Tatum found a mat, a place in the back of the group, and took off her shoes. Wednesday began again.

  Tatum struggled with every pose. She couldn’t settle her mind. Every time she pushed out her anger, images of Connor’s transformation marched in. How could he lie to her? Did he lie? Is omission the same as lying? How would it have been if he told her about his secret identity from the beginning?

  “Hi. My name’s Connor. What�
��s yours?”

  “My name’s Tatum. Nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you too. Oh, by the way, I’m not exactly human and I shift into birds during my spare time.”

  Tatum giggled out loud disturbing several students around her. So much for Dead Man’s Pose. Class finished five minutes later.

  “Hey, Tatum,” Wednesday called. “Would you like to grab another smoothie? We received a delivery of fresh apples this morning.”

  “Um …” She directed her attention into putting on her shoes hoping Wednesday would get the hint.

  “If you don’t like apples, we have frozen berries left over from the summer.” She missed Tatum’s cold shoulder and continued. “I think a smoothie is a great recovery drink after yoga. Don’t you? I mean, they pack on the calories, but a big smoothie keeps me going most of the day. I think the ones we have here are fabulous. Our guy won’t tell me what’s his secret.”

  Stop talking. Can’t you see I don’t want to be with you?

  “Maybe some other time. I’m in a hurry.”

  Wednesday reached out and touched Tatum’s arm. “Look, it’s none of my business, but you seem distracted this morning. Maybe having a friend would be helpful.”

  Tatum found it hard to ignore the sincere look in Wednesday’s face. She never had many girlfriends. Most of them were more concerned about landing a man than anything else.

  “You won’t let me out of it, will you?” she asked.

  “I suppose if it will kill you, then it’s okay. But I think it will do you more good than you realize to talk about whatever’s going on in your head.” Wednesday smiled. “Besides, if you’re with me, it’s free.”

  “I’ll go with you, but I don’t feel like talking. I’m on my way home.”

  “Mm, I see. Well then, consider this one for the road.”

  They sat outside on the patio after ordering their drinks.

  “Can I ask where home is?” Wednesday waved to the server who brought their order.

  “Just across the state border. It’ll take at least six hours to get there.”

  “What do you do there?”

  “Right now, I’m finishing my doctoring program. I’m assigned to the emergency room, or at least I was.”

  “Was? Did something happen?”

  Tatum hesitated. What was it about the people out here that made her want to bare her soul to all of them. “I’m on a leave of absence.”

  “For how long?”

  “The board gave me six weeks. Seems like a lifetime.”

  “Six weeks off sounds like heaven. I’d grab Caleb, and we’d head to Mexico, find a condo on the beach, and hide.”

  “That sounds nice. I can’t remember the last time I went on a vacation.”

  “You don’t like to travel?”

  “I’d love to travel, but there hasn’t been time. I finished high school early, finished my undergrad early, then graduated med school at the top of the class. Residency has been a whirlwind for sure.”

  “You’re a driven lady.”

  “Doesn’t seem to be enough though,” Tatum mumbled.

  “Excuse me? How could that not be enough? I imagine your family is super proud of you.”

  “My dad would have been, but I screwed up everything.”

  “What could you have done that was that bad?”

  “At the beginning of med school, I had a hard time sleeping. I couldn’t relax or stop my brain long enough. A friend suggested a shot of whiskey. That worked so well I soon graduated to two. I never drank during class time, but I drank a lot in my free time. I never went to work drunk, but when your free time and work intersect, it’s hard to draw boundaries. The mistakes were small at first. Newbie mistakes. Fast forward three years, and making major decisions brought on extreme anxiety.

  One night, my mentor stepped in and took over a case because I froze. I couldn’t remember what to do. The patient was fine, but not due to anything I did. My delay looked like a simple mistake except to my mentor. He asked me if I had a problem. I denied it of course, but now I’m not so sure.”

  Tatum saw the server and waved him over, grateful for a distraction from talking. Her throat tightened, and tears formed.

  Wednesday put her hand on Tatum’s. “That’s a lot to carry. You’ve put so much pressure on yourself. I’m surprised you haven’t cracked.”

  Tatum gave her a half smile. “I don’t know any other way to live.”

  “So that’s why you’re here?”

  “I met this lady at the hospital one day. I ended up telling her my whole life story. She told me about Libre Volare and I wanted to try it.”

  “You met Barbara Wolf. Caleb told me she recommended our place to you. I love her so much.”

  Tatum bent her head closer to Wednesday. “How close are you and Caleb?”

  “We’ve been madly in love for what feels like forever. He’s my soul mate.”

  “Are you okay with what he is?” Tatum whispered.

  Wednesday brought her head close to Tatum’s and matched her hushed voice. “You mean the incredible man who makes my life worth living.”

  Frustrated, Tatum sat back. “No, beyond that. He’s like Connor. They have wings!”

  “Oh, that’s what this is about. Is Connor the first shifter you ever met?”

  “Um, yeah. I didn’t even know anything like that existed.” She darted her eyes around noticing the other patrons. “Do they know what he is?” She waved her hand around the room.

  “Some do. Some don’t. Most of the people who come here are shifters too.”

  Tatum popped out of her chair and it fell behind her. “There are others?”

  Wednesday looked embarrassed, smiled, and nodded to the few people staring at them.

  “I thought if you knew Barbara, then you already knew about shifters.”

  “Why? Is Barbara one?”

  Wednesday nodded.

  Tatum picked up her chair and sat down. “Connor tried to tell me about that, but I don’t understand what that means.”

  Wednesday finished her smoothie and threw her cup away. “I came here looking for work because I needed a new life. I never intended to fall in love with Caleb. Even though I’d never met a falcon shifter, I met several other shifters before. Caleb and I knew we were meant to be together.” She returned to the table.

  “Are you a shifter now, too? I think Connor said something about claiming.”

  “Yes, Caleb claimed me as his mate. Our souls bonded, and I became a falcon shifter like him.”

  “How did you know he was the one?”

  “I just did. Caleb told me his falcon recognized me as his mate the first time we met. It’s the little things, like he still brings me hummingbird mint even after it turns cold.”

  “Hummingbird mint?”

  “It’s a native flower. I like the violet buds. Pink and purple have always been my favorite colors. If Connor is talking to you about this, my guess is his falcon sees you the same way.”

  Tatum scoffed. “Oh no. I’m nobody’s mate.”

  “Are you sure you don’t care for him?”

  “I only met him a few days ago.”

  “It’s not like the animal soul to make a mistake. It could be rough for Connor if that happened.”

  “He’s a big boy. He’d get over a broken heart I’m sure.” Tatum finished the last of her smoothie.

  “It’s more than that. Once the animal finds a mate, that is the only person who will ever be the one. Ever.”

  “Great.” Tatum pushed back her chair and stood to leave. “Thanks for the smoothie.” She dropped her cup in the trashcan.

  “Tatum. Let’s talk more,” Wednesday called.

  A twinge of guilt floated in her head. Wednesday was one of the nicest people she’d ever met. No matter how angry she was, Wednesday didn’t deserve an attitude. She smiled at her friend. “I’m good I want to go back to the cabin. I’m talked out at the moment.”

  Exhaustion fell hard on her a
s she walked to the cabin. She closed all the curtains, took off her clothes, and climbed in bed. Before she fell asleep, she noticed a single card on the nightstand with the words, “I’m sorry.”

  Damn it.

  He’d been in her room. Did he have a key? He must have seen her suitcases by the door. What must he think of her?

  I don’t care.

  She rolled over and fell into a restless sleep.

  Hours later she woke refreshed, but still confused. It was early enough to get on the road if she left now.

  Would it be better to leave? How serious could their relationship be after such a short time? None of this made sense. Connor was a bird. Thinking about what she saw made her heart race.

  After getting dressed she grabbed her keys and phone ready to drag her stuff to the car and leave. A blue light blinked on her phone showing a message.

  “Hi, Tatum. This is Hank Warner. I’m wondering if I can talk you into coming on some visits with me tomorrow. You must be excited about finishing my office,” he chuckled at his joke, “but it might do you some good to get out again and see some more of the people who live here. I’ll be by to pick you up early again. I promise I’ll bring the coffee. And I bet we have more cinnamon rolls. Let’s say 6:30. See you then.”

  Well, crap.

  Tatum forgot about Hank. She told him she’d finish his office. Her stomach grumbled hoping they might see Mrs. Jenkins again. Her pies were fabulous.

  She’d work with him tomorrow, finish his office on Tuesday and then leave on Wednesday. The trick was to avoid Connor at all costs.

  Tatum struggled with sleep. She imagined every noise outside was Connor spying on her. Her conflicted mind waffled between understanding Connor and wanting to punch him in the gut. She never imagined there was any other kind of human than what she studied in class. But were shifters human? Then the added pressure of being his mate for life only added to the confusion. Wednesday meant well by telling her that, but Tatum really hated her right now too.

  An hour before sunrise, she gave up the hope of sleep and made coffee. As she sat on the porch waiting for the sunrise, she noticed a bird flying over the canyon. The pre-dawn darkness made it hard to determine if it was Connor or maybe one of his brothers. She couldn’t turn away. Following the bird’s flight pattern captivated her. Occasionally, the bird landed on a ledge and rested.