Truths and Dares

by Amity Hope

  “What’s going on?” I asked as I made my way in and sat down at the table next to him.

  “I came over early to talk to your dad about a few things,” Paula said.

  He tapped his cell phone. It was sitting on the table next to his empty plate.

  “And I just got off the phone with Stuart. He was checking in,” Dad said.

  “Checking…for what exactly?” I wondered.

  Dad frowned. “He was asking if I’d made any progress in finding Joanne.” I raised my eyebrows in question. “I think the only reason they’re letting Seth stay here at all is because I’ve told them I’m trying to contact his mom.”

  “Are you?” I asked, surprised by this unforeseen bit of news.

  “Trying and actually making progress are completely different things. But yes, I’m trying.”

  “How?”

  “Well, your mother and Joanne used to speak frequently.” I noted that he didn’t claim they’d been friends. That would’ve been stretching the truth a bit too far. However, because they were neighbors, they had spoken frequently, that was true. Dad went on, “I’ve been talking with Charlotte daily. She’s been trying to come up with a list of people that Joanne was close to in town. We’re hoping maybe one of them has an inkling as to where she went. Unfortunately, the list is pretty short.”

  My heart sank at the news. He meant well and he was truly trying. But I knew a truth he did not.

  “Dad, you’re not going to find her that way. Seth said she really didn’t have any friends. And if she did, Bart would’ve grilled them for information. I don’t think she would’ve asked any of them for help.” She probably could’ve used the help. I was just certain that she wouldn’t have taken that risk.

  Dad gave me a knowing look. “I realize that. But it’s important I pretend not to. As long as it appears that I’m looking, it’s buying us some time. If they realize that I’m at a loss too, Seth is going to be out of here.”

  I shook my head. “That can’t happen. We have to do something.”

  “We’re reviewing our options,” Dad said calmly. “He could file for emancipation but that will take time. To be honest, that’s what I think we’re leaning toward. However, considering what a traumatic ordeal he’s just gone through, it’s possible that a judge won’t think it’s in his best interest to be on his own right now. The other issue is in regard to where he’ll live. I think the last place he should be is next door, in that house all alone after what happened.”

  “Can’t he stay with us?” I demanded. After everything that had happened, I thought Dad would have to agree. He loved Seth, I knew he did. He wouldn’t just leave him homeless and floundering.

  Dad shook his head, rattling me even more. “Mrs. Cooper,” he began as he mentioned the case worker assigned to Seth, “Stuart, and I have discussed this at great length. If he files for emancipation, it won’t be in his best interest to be living with his girlfriend.”

  I felt tears filling my eyes. I knew that Dad would do his best but I was suddenly gripped with the fear that it wouldn’t be enough. “That’s ridiculous. There’s plenty of room here. They’ll never approve the emancipation if he doesn’t have somewhere to stay.”

  “We know that,” Paula said quietly. “That’s why I’ve offered to let him stay with me.”

  I blinked at her in disbelief. I couldn’t have heard her correctly.

  Finally, she gave me a weak smile. “I’m here most the time and so is he. If we can present to a judge that he’ll be in a safe, stable environment, that’s a good thing. Keeping him around people who love him, that has to be in his best interest. As far as I’m concerned.”

  “You would do that for him?” I asked when I finally found my voice.

  “I would do it for all of us. I’ve gotten to know him the past three months. He’s a good kid. He doesn’t deserve to have his life torn apart because of this. He’s already going through enough right now. Besides, both of my boys are grown and out of the house. I have plenty of room for him. As a mother,” she said as her eyes began to water, “I just can’t help but think that if he were my son, I’d want someone to help him.”

  Dad’s hand came up to rest on my shoulder. “He’ll legally be an adult in a few months. We’re just trying to explore some options until then.”

  “There’s another option. But again, everything takes time.” I turned to Paula waiting for her to go on. “I could apply to be a foster parent. Given the delicate circumstances, they could push the paperwork through faster than usual. Again, we’re just exploring possibilities at this point.”

  “But we want to have as many valid options available to us as possible,” Dad said. “I’ve known that kid since before he could tie his own shoes. I’ll be damned if I let him get lost in the system after this.”

  “Does he know about this?” I asked them.

  She shook her head. “Not yet. When we spoke with him last night, we asked him what he wanted to do. He sounded completely lost. It broke my heart. That’s when I started thinking maybe I could help. I can’t bear the thought of him being sent somewhere to live with strangers. Or worse yet, because of his age, a group home.”

  “I won’t go to a group home.”

  Seth’s words had taken us all by surprise. We’d been so entrenched in our conversation that none of us had heard him come up the stairs.

  He stood in the doorway. His body was rigid as he stared at all of us in trepidation.

  “I don’t think it’s going to come to that,” Dad said. He patted the spot at the table across from him. “I’d like you to come in and sit down. There are quite a few things we should discuss.”

  Seth’s eyes met mine from across the room. Paula was right. He did seem lost. I was putting my faith in my dad and this woman whom I was coming to love. I was going to have to have faith that they would help us find our way.

  CHAPTER 25

  As the week came to an end, the oppressive feeling in our house seemed to intensify instead of fade. The uncertainty of Seth’s future weighed on all of us. Friday morning I awoke before he did, as usual. Dad had already left for work. I went upstairs to take a shower. When I wandered back down to the kitchen, there was a note on the counter from Seth. He said he needed a little bit of time to himself and he’d be back later. A quick glance out of the window over the sink confirmed that his truck, which had been parked in our driveway this past week, wasn’t there.

  I understood that after everything that had happened, he would need a little bit of space. That didn’t stop me from worrying about him the entire time he was gone.

  I spent the morning in my room, on my bed, trying to push my way through homework that had been sent home. The last few days, we had both been picking away at assignments. I finally decided to take a break. When I went downstairs to get a glass of water, I noticed that his truck was back. Apparently I hadn’t heard it over the music that I had been listening to.

  I went down to Dustin’s room. He wasn’t there. I went room to room, finding no sign of him. Next, I made my way to the backyard. I climbed the ladder, poking my head through the floor of the empty tree house. I climbed back down and rested my back against the base of the tree for minute. Slowly, my eyes skimmed across our backyard and settled on the Ryerson’s home.

  My heart felt as heavy as my feet as I made myself move. Each step closer to the house filled me with a bit more dread. He wouldn’t have gone inside? Would have he? Alone? I was starting to think that maybe he had because I couldn’t imagine where else he could have gone. I rounded the front of his house as he pulled open the front door.

  I froze for a moment, my eyes latching onto his. His appearance pierced my heart. His face was etched in misery and exhaustion.

  “What are you doing?” I asked cautiously as I moved forward again.

  He used his foot to slide out an oversized suitcase. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder. His free hand held a manila envelope. “I just needed a few more things.” His voi
ce was strained and his eyes looked hollow. He gave the suitcase a final shove and pulled the door closed behind him. “I needed more clothes. I wanted a few photo albums, my backpack.”

  “I would’ve gone with you,” I said. I hugged my arms around myself, trying to keep away the early springtime chill.

  He shrugged. “I know. I just wanted to get in there and get back out again.” He grabbed the handle of the suitcase and hoisted it up. We quickly covered the short distance to my house and went inside.

  “What’s in the envelope?” I asked.

  He glanced at it, as if he’d forgotten it was there.

  “Money,” he finally said. “He kept cash in his desk drawer. I never would’ve dared touch it but now,” he gave me a helpless shrug, “I thought I might need it.”

  “For what?”

  “Gas money, lunch money, lawyer fees…”

  “Dad doesn’t want you to worry about the lawyer,” I tried to reassure him.

  “Yeah, well someday I plan to pay him back.”

  I bit my lip, wishing I could come up with something comforting to say. Dad had spoken with Mrs. Cooper yesterday. She had told him that she’d like to set up a meeting. Soon. I was afraid our temporary arrangement was about to come to an end. Judging by the look on Seth’s face, he was afraid of the same thing.

  “Paula’s working with Mrs. Cooper,” I reminded him. “Paula said she’s been helpful and she feels really hopeful that you’ll be able to stay with her.”

  “I know,” he said quietly. “I just wish I had some guarantees.”

  “We’ll know soon, right?”

  He glanced at the clock. “Yeah, real soon.”

  Something in his tone set off mental alarm bells. “What do you mean by that?”

  “That lady? Mrs. Cooper?” I nodded. “She called this morning while you were in the shower. She’s coming over this afternoon. To discuss my future.” He said the last sentence with a trace of bitterness.

  “Seth!” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I just did.”

  “Before now, I mean. Did you call my dad? He should be here for this,” I said. “What time will she be here?”

  “In less than half an hour.”

  “Is that why you took off this morning?” I hadn’t meant to ask about that, but under the circumstances, it just slipped out.

  “Yeah, I just needed some time to think. I drove around for a while, trying to clear my head. I just keep thinking this can’t be happening. It can’t be real. Because it just doesn’t seem real,” he rasped, sounding disconsolate.

  “I know,” I said quietly. “I keep thinking the same thing.”

  I’m just going to bring this downstairs, okay?” he asked. I nodded, not sure if he was still in need of space, I followed him to Dustin’s room.

  He placed the suitcase next to Dustin’s door, along with his backpack. The envelope, he placed on the dresser. Then he went to the bed and collapsed onto the edge of it.

  “The last few days, I’ve just felt numb. Like my life is in limbo. Like I’m just floating along. But I just have this feeling it’s all about to come crashing down on me. This lady? I don’t even know her. And she gets to have a say in my future?”

  “Okay, Seth,” I said as I settled down next to him. “Worst case scenario, and I mean worst case, is that you end up in a foster home. I honestly don’t think that’s going to happen. Not if Dad and Paula have any say in it. But if that happens, it’s only for four months.” It was hard to get the words out, forcing them around the knot of apprehension that was tightening up my throat. A foster home was unacceptable, as far as I was concerned. He’d just gone through a horribly traumatic experience. His emotions were a tumultuous mess. He needed to be around people who loved him and understood him. Four months in a strange place, under these circumstances might just be enough to destroy him. I believed deep down that Dad would never let that happen. If he had to, he’d find a way to tie things up in court until Seth turned eighteen. Or something, I was sure that he would do something, anything, to keep Seth with us. And yet, on the surface was a toxic layer of fear that Seth would be taken away.

  It was the unknown that was suffocating and terrifying.

  “If that happens, if I have to go away,” he said, “Don’t put your life on hold for me. Okay?” He turned to me slowly. Sadness was pooling in his eyes, drowning me in a wave of sorrow.

  I shook my head. “No. That’s not okay! No matter what happens, we’ll keep in touch. We’ll talk every single day. Wherever you are, I will visit you as often as I can. So will the rest of our friends. I know they will. None of us are abandoning you. You need to stop thinking the worst.”

  He slowly shook his head and his eyes slipped away from mine. “I don’t deserve anything better than the worst.”

  I took his face in my hands so that I could look him in the eye. “That is not true. Do not ever think that.” He blinked at me and looked away. I let my hands drop. “You know what? I need to call my dad. If this lady is coming, he needs to know.”

  I got up and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Minutes later—after a scolding for not calling him sooner, even though I hadn’t been aware much sooner myself—Dad promised he was on his way. As I glanced at the clock, I realized Mrs. Cooper would probably get here first. Seth and I had been talking for a while.

  I settled back on the bed next to him and looped my arm around his waist. I pressed my head against his shoulder and listened to our synchronized breathing until he slid his hand under my chin, tilting my face so I was looking at him.

  “I love you,” he said. “No matter what happens, don’t forget that.”

  “I love you too. For always,” I promised.

  He kissed me for the first time in over a week. It was soft and sweet. Like that very first kiss we’d shared so many years ago.

  The doorbell rang, cutting the moment short. I wanted to ignore it but Seth pulled away.

  “That can’t be her already? Can it?” I muttered. “She’s early.”

  “Can you let her in? I just need a minute to myself,” he said.

  “Sure.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

  Walking away from him was agonizing. Each step I took led me further down a path that I didn’t know if we’d be able to return from. Seth needed us, his friends, now more than ever. As I walked up the stairs, I wished that my dad was here already. We would just have to stall Mrs. Cooper until he arrived.

  I pasted on a polite smile as I opened the door. “Hi. Please come in.” I thought it was best to be cordial since she likely held the key to Seth’s future amongst the papers that filled her briefcase. “He’ll be up in just a minute. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you,” she said with a polite smile of her own. Her silver hair was twisted into a bun. Her wire rimmed glasses framed eyes that looked kind enough. I hoped she would treat Seth well.

  “Would you like to come in and sit down?”

  “That would be fine,” she said.

  I led her into the living room. She sat on the sofa. I sat on the loveseat. I was grateful for the sound of my music floating down the staircase. It warded off what I knew would be an awkward silence.

  “My dad is on his way,” I told her. “I think Seth feels uncomfortable without Dad here.” Or maybe it was just me that felt that way.

  I forced small talk about the weather. We were edging into April. Spring showers were in the forecast. The rain could just as easily turn to snow because the weather was fickle this time of year.

  “Perhaps I should check on him,” she said after a discussion about early blooms. She pushed herself up from the cushions.

  I bounced up from the other side of the room. “He said he’d be right up. I think…I think he just really needed a minute to himself.”

  The look she gave me was apologetic. “That was nearly ten minutes ago. I don’t mean to be insensitive but I have another appointment after this one. If I don’t get t
his meeting going…”

  She let her words trail off but the implication was clear.

  “I’ll go check on him.” I crossed the room, acutely aware that she followed me. As I made my way down the staircase, I was even more acutely aware of the dreaded silence. I think I knew, right then, what I would find.

  I crossed the family room on legs that felt like they were disconnected from my body. My mind was in a haze. When I reached Dustin’s door, I didn’t bother knocking. I nudged it and it swung open.

  The room was empty.

  “Oh, dear. I was afraid of this,” Mrs. Cooper muttered.

  “He’s gone.” My voice was flat as I stated the obvious. His suitcase, his backpack, the envelope, his smaller duffel bag that Dad had brought him earlier in the week…all gone. I couldn’t believe he’d just…left. And at the same time, a part of me realized I should not have been surprised at all.

  She eyed me up harshly but when she realized I was as surprised as she was, it softened.

  I turned away from her and made my way through the family room, through the hot tub room and over to the sliding glass door. It could only be locked from the inside by flipping the latch down. It was unlocked, just as I knew it would be. My gaze scanned the yard even though I really didn’t expect to see Seth there.

  If he’d let himself out as soon as I’d gone upstairs, he had nearly a ten minute head start. I leaned my head against the cool glass. My breaths came quickly, my eyes burned and my heart trembled in my chest. I took a few moments to pull myself together.

  Finally, I pushed away from the glass. I could hear Mrs. Cooper in Dustin’s room. She was standing near the edge of the neatly made bed. She was holding a single sheet of notebook paper in her hand.

  I crossed the room when she held the page out to me. In Seth’s small, neat scrawl were two words that didn’t say nearly enough.