Truestory

by Catherine Simpson

  17 June 2014 Time: 16:35

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name Is Magic

  Thank you for inviting me to private message. I need your magic because I am trapped and want to escape. I have tried different ways to escape, but nothing has worked and now I need something stronger. As you have access to the most powerful spells on-line I think you may be able to help.

  What magic do you suggest?

  Thank you very much

  Truestory

  U Chat

  Private Message to Truestory

  17 June 2014 Time: 16:46

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  My Name is Magic

  Dear Truestory

  You are right; I have all the information you need and I can assure you that if you follow my advice you will break the terrible fear that is currently keeping you prisoner. My spells have been tried and tested over many years and have never let my clients down.

  I deal with clients struggling with all sorts of problems including addiction, love troubles, money worries, weight loss issues and every other challenging situation you can think of. I offer a one-year unconditional guarantee of success. That’s how confident I am I can solve your problems.

  For glowing testimonials from just some of my satisfied clients please click here.

  I have a free introductory offer running currently which you can take advantage of straight away. This will help prepare you to respond to the magic of the universe. After that to shore up your success you simply click on Buy Now and for $30 I cast a personalised spell designed especially for you and your particular problem. You can apply for as many personalised spells as you choose, for all different areas of your life.

  To use your special offer introductory spell you will need

  To be outdoors at an elevated situation

  To have cleared your mind

  When you are prepared and ready to invoke the magic simply close your eyes and repeat the following incantation:

  Spirits in the Universe

  Come to me with help

  To make me brave

  To make me strong.

  To fill me with your power.

  Say these magic words confidently out loud several times (at least ten times) and you will begin to feel the power flowing into you. The strength to attain your wishes will grow stronger and stronger and you will know that anything and everything on this earth is within your grasp. At that stage come back to me and get the first personalised spell. To enable me to tailor it correctly please complete the following questionnaire:

  What is your problem (please state main features)?

  What is the ideal solution to the problem?

  What is stopping you attaining this solution?

  I accept payment by all major credit cards and Paypal.

  Regards

  My Name Is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  U Chat

  Private Message to My Name Is Magic

  17 June 2014 Time: 17:05

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name Is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  Thank you for the special offer introductory spell.

  I will find an elevated situation and clear my mind and then I will use it.

  The special offer introductory spell does not sound very much. However, My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs, you have 52 satisfied clients on your website. I have read all the testimonials. I have read about spells that help people get lovers back, lose weight, turn brown eyes blue, blue eyes green, wreak revenge, have sex changes and win $8,000 at the Black Jack table.

  This is my favourite testimonial: ‘My Name is Magic you are a spell caster of genius. Thanks to you my life has been transformed overnight. That is the best $240 dollars I have ever spent.’

  The testimonials make leaving Backwoods Farm and travelling down Hell Fire Pass to the graves hewn from rock look simple and I believe your ‘special offer introductory spell’ will help.

  There will be a delay in getting back to you for the personalised spell/spells because I do not have a major credit card or a Paypal.

  Thank you for your help and for explaining your ‘special offer introductory spell’ and sharing your website.

  With best wishes

  Truestory.

  U Chat

  Private Message to My Name Is Magic

  17 June 2014 Time: 17.11

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  I have examined my Ordnance Survey map: No 296 in the Explorer Range to find an elevated situation

  There are not many contour lines on the map around Backwoods (which in case you are not a cartographer indicates a flat terrain). The only place with contour lines is The Pile of Rubble Covered in Weeds so this will be my elevated situation.

  I do not want to consult you to confirm this is acceptable as I do not have a major credit card or a Paypal. I do not have $240 dollars. I do not have any dollars. I have £2.36 I found at the back of the cutlery drawer.

  With best wishes

  Truestory

  U Chat

  Private Message to My Name Is Magic

  17 June 2014 Time: 17.17

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  This is not a consultation.

  I wanted to let you know that clearing my mind may not be possible. Clearing my mind is harder than locating an elevated position on the map.

  I do not think I understand how to clear my mind. Is it possible to have a mind that is clear? Can I empty my brain? I do not think so. I have never experienced an empty brain. My thoughts fight each other and make frightening pictures out of nothing.

  Sometimes my brain is like a firework display, which is something I have never experienced in real life. My mind is full and noisy and makes me jump.

  I thought I should tell you this.

  This is not a consultation.

  With best wishes

  Truestory.

  U Chat

  Private Message to My Name Is Magic

  17 June 2014 Time: 17.21

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  Your magic is very strong.

  Even though I did not consult you regarding difficulties with clearing my mind (due to my not having a major credit card or a Paypal or $240 dollars) your magic has worked.

  I was listening to the hum of the milking parlour and when I repeated the incantation thirty times the humming faded away and my mind became filled with the words: Spirits in the Universe Come to me with help To make me brave To make me strong To fill me with your power, and there was no room for anything else.

  To empty my mind I have to fill my mind with something else.

  Dear My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs, you promised that your spells were the strongest available on-line and I have experienced their power.

  It will now be possible to escape Backwoods Farm with your ‘special offer fully-guaranteed introductory spell’.

  I will then write a testimonial for you.

  This is not a consultation.

  With best wishes

  Truestory

  Chapter 35

  Sam was difficult to get through to at teatime, which was nothing new. He was muttering to himself under his breath, between spoonfuls. I couldn’t catch it but it sounded like a prayer. He didn’t appear to be counting his spoonfuls of soup or the number of times he chewed each piece of bread either.

  And for Sam that was weird.

  Any changes in his behaviour put me on edge. You never knew what was going to loom up next, what crazy ideas were going to emerge fully-formed to disrupt our lives for the next few weeks or months or years.

  Something that started small – a comment about a plughole or a drain for instance – could, within a couple of days, become a full-blown phobia of sinks and baths, or a nettle sting could become a terror of the c
olour green that kept him housebound for weeks and unable to eat salad for the rest of his life.

  I was paranoid, I knew that. But who wouldn’t be? Life with Sam had the habit of pulling the rug from under your feet just when you thought you’d found your balance and then everything would suddenly change, and usually for the worse. Oh yes, however you looked at it, life could be rubbish when it came to being Sam’s mum. Complacency was a luxury I couldn’t afford. Constant vigilance was required – but constant vigilance was depressing and over years could grind you down into a million little pieces.

  He ate his soup – reluctantly, he’d wanted pasta – and kind of muttered and sang to himself in this weird way the whole time. Yes, this was something new.

  Earlier on, of course, he’d nearly got himself killed saying he wanted to go to Lancaster. That was definitely new. Something was up. Could these changes be good for him – for all of us – or did they spell disaster as usual?

  I should be delighted he wanted to go to Lancaster. That’s what I’d always hoped would happen, after all; that he’d grow out of his self-imposed exile and want to break away from this prison. So why was I filled with dread that it meant nothing but trauma and misery for us all? I’d had too many bad experiences and dealt with too much disappointment to take it in my stride.

  Anyway, my mind was buzzing with other things – I had no head room left to make sense of Sam. Sam’s wants and needs and demands had dominated my life for years, pushing everything else out of sight, but not today.

  Today I wanted to dwell on Larry and what he’d said in the orchard. He’d as good as told me he loved me. If Duncan hadn’t appeared I think the conversation would have headed that way. I felt a warm rush through my body when I imagined him saying it.

  It was a long time, a very long time, since I’d pushed Sam’s needs to one side, but that’s exactly what I was going to do now.

  I poured myself a glass of wine. It wasn’t even six thirty but so what? I wasn’t living in the real world today. Larry was giving Duncan a hand with the milking – there were four newborn calves to be fed. I sat down, put my feet up on another chair, closed my eyes and let the wine slip down.

  Duncan and Larry would both be inside in a minute and I’d have to eat soup and drink tea and make conversation as if everything was normal. I wasn’t sure how I’d manage that, but this glass of wine would help.

  The latch rattled and I twisted round. Larry walked in and over to the table, then he bent over and kissed me. I heard Duncan’s boots tramping up the yard but I didn’t push Larry away. As Bess started barking Larry broke away and briefly stroked my face.

  ‘Stay there. I’ll set the table.’

  He opened the cupboard and grabbed some bowls and a handful of cutlery from the drawer.

  ‘There’s bread warming in the oven,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll get it. You sit down.’

  The door opened again and Duncan came in. He took his boots off and saw me with my feet up, drinking wine.

  ‘We celebrating again?’

  ‘Nah,’ said Larry, ‘No excuse needed for relaxing for a few minutes.’

  Duncan looked at him and frowned. I took my feet off the chair and put the glass down. Larry topped it up an inch and grabbed another couple of glasses.

  ‘Drop of wine?’ he said to Duncan. Duncan shook his head.

  ‘A cup of tea’ll do me,’ he said, plonking himself down at the table.

  I watched Duncan from the corner of my eye. Was he acting funny? Or was it Duncan being Duncan? He didn’t have the dog-with-two-tails air about him that he usually had when he was with Larry. Did he suspect something? I didn’t see how – we’d only been sitting in the orchard. We hadn’t been touching each other or anything. For goodness sake, intuition had never been Duncan’s strong point. Surely it wasn’t Larry setting the table that was pissing him off?

  ‘How’s the seedlings coming on?’ Duncan asked.

  ‘Aye, no bad.’ Larry had taken the bread out of the oven and was slicing it on the board. ‘Should be ready to plant out soon.’

  I couldn’t stand watching Larry do the work and I got up.

  ‘I’ll rig up some supports to use for when they’re a bit bigger,’ said Larry.

  Duncan nodded.

  ‘So is that you nearly done then, getting it all set up?’ Duncan said. Larry looked at him.

  ‘Aye, well, after they’re planted out it’s a case of keeping an eye out for pests and checking the temperature and ventilation and that.’

  ‘If they’re ready you might as well get them out tomorrow. The sooner they’re out the sooner we get a crop.’

  ‘Well they’re coming to no harm where they are,’ Larry said. ‘We might get a night frost or two yet.’ Larry carried on slicing the bread and I grabbed the butter knife and slapped thick smears of butter on it.

  ‘We’ll manage fine when the plantings done and the tunnel’s set up.’ Duncan looked at me. ‘Won’t we, Alice?’

  I piled the bread into a wobbling heap.

  ‘I’m no expert,’ I said, ‘never claimed to be.’

  ‘We’ll manage fine,’ repeated Duncan. ‘You’ll be wanting to move on, I expect,’ he said to Larry. ‘I know you never stay in a place for too long.’

  Larry shrugged. ‘No plans.’

  ‘You’ll need to be heading south for the early harvests,’ said Duncan. ‘You’ll not want to miss them.’

  Larry sat down. I took the plate of bread to the table and went back for the soup. I ladled it out in silence.

  Later that night when I was in bed and the light was out Duncan said, ‘I think it’s time Larry went.’

  I pretended I was asleep.

  ‘He’s been here a while. I think he’s stringing it out because he’s onto a good thing.’

  He nudged me. ‘Alice. Are you listening? It’s time he went.’

  ‘Why? You’ve changed your tune.’ I said.

  ‘The cannabis is ready really. He’s using the weather as an excuse. There won’t be any night frosts now.’

  ‘He’d be as well taking his time and getting it right, wouldn’t he?’

  ‘Well, I’m only suggesting doing what you wanted and getting him gone as soon as possible.’

  My heart was thumping. ‘That was before he started helping with Sam.’

  ‘Yes, and I think that’s a bit weird as well. Why’s he so interested in Sam?’

  I hutched myself up onto one shoulder and looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘He seems to want to spend a lot of time with Sam. I think it’s weird.’

  ‘Why? Just because you don’t want to spend any time with him? He’s helping me out. First help I’ve ever had with him.’ I fell back onto my pillow. ‘You begrudge me a bit of help with him. That’s pathetic. And it’s horrible to call Larry weird because he wants to spend time with Sam. Frankly I think that says more about you than him.’

  I turned over onto my side facing away from him, dragging acres of quilt with me. I stared out into the dark and pretended to be going to sleep, hoping he couldn’t hear the crash of my heart against my ribs.

  Next morning at breakfast Duncan was at it again, trying to push things along.

  ‘Best get those seedlings planted out today,’ he said to Larry.

  ‘It’s maybe a bit soon,’ said Larry. ‘Weather’s unpredictable. It’s a rookie mistake. A frost’ll finish them off.’

  ‘Nah, we need to get on with it,’ said Duncan. ‘It’s daft to hang about.’

  ‘I can give you a hand,’ I said to Larry. ‘I’ve got Sam set up with some History so I’ve got time.’

  ‘No you won’t,’ said Duncan. ‘I’ll do it.’

  I took a gulp of my coffee.

  Duncan looked at me. ‘Well, you’re not interested in growing this stuff are you? You’ve made that plain enough right from the start.’

  Chapter 36

  U Chat

  Private Message to My Name Is Magic

  18
June 2014 Time: 10.15

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  Truestory

  Dear My Name is Magic Psychic Dhp, Phrs

  This is not a consultation.

  Tomorrow is the 19th of June. My internet research suggests this is a good date to try your special offer fully-guaranteed introductory spell. The number 19 is a prime number and in Mathematical Theory it is a Fortunate Number and a Lucky Number, also the on-line Talismanic Calendar says the 19th of the month is a lucky day.

  A Feng Shui site does not say tomorrow is a lucky day, but Feng Shui is a different kind of magic, to do with houses and rooms, which may not mix with your kind of magic, so I do not think that matters.

  I wish 18 was a prime number and a fortunate number and a lucky day because I want to try the strongest magic on the internet as soon as possible. But it is not, so as soon as possible is tomorrow which is still 13 hours and 45 minutes away.

  This is not a consultation.

  With best wishes

  Truestory

  Chapter 37

  Sam came downstairs mid-morning; from the corner of my eye I could see him hovering about from foot to foot.

  ‘What’s up, Sam?’

  He looked from his watch to the kitchen clock and back to his watch.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Time has slowed down.’ He looked at the clock again. ‘I have been reading the questions about the formation of the 19th century toll roads but I keep looking at my watch and time is not moving on.’