Sinner

by Sara Douglass

  “Ah.” Axis’ face lost all its anger. “StarDrifter, at the moment no-one truly knows. But know that the Star Gods will do our best. If you can help, then I will contact you.”

  StarDrifter nodded, understanding Axis’ frustration – the frustration of every Star God and Enchanter in this land – and there was silence between the four for a while. Then the Enchanter lifted his head and looked back at his son and Azhure.

  “Axis, Azhure,” he said. “There are other matters that we must discuss. Do you not want to ask after Zenith?”

  “Zenith?” Azhure said, frowning at the change of topic. “I do not even know where she is.”

  Faraday stared at her. Were Axis and Azhure so lost in their antipathy for Drago that they had ignored their youngest child’s problems?

  “Zenith is here,” she said. “In a manner. Azhure…did you know that she carried within her the seed of Niah’s soul?”

  Azhure had the grace to look uncomfortable. “I suspected, Faraday, but I did not tell her.”

  “Why not?” StarDrifter cried out in frustration.

  “Because I did not know when, if ever, Niah would claim ascendancy, StarDrifter. There was no point in speaking until then.”

  “Well, it has happened,” Faraday said softly. “Zenith has been consumed by Niah’s spirit. Azhure, don’t you care for your daughter?”

  “You know nothing!” Azhure snapped, angered. “Zenith was always Niah. If anything, I am glad she has attained her true identity.”

  StarDrifter, already tight and anxious over the news Axis had revealed, lost his temper. He couldn’t believe the indifference Axis and Azhure showed to Zenith’s pain and struggle. “Zenith was ever her own woman,” he said. “What exists in that body now is so different to Zenith that I cannot imagine you can claim that Zenith was always Niah. Zenith is lost! Your daughter is lost! How can you stand there and say you are glad?”

  “StarDrifter, you cannot understand, or you would share my gladness,” Azhure said. “Niah was promised rebirth – you read the letter yourself.”

  “But not at the expense of my granddaughter!” StarDrifter shouted.

  “I sincerely hope you are not making Niah’s welcome a difficult one, StarDrifter.” Her voice was very stiff.

  Faraday put a warning hand on StarDrifter’s arm. “We are doing everything in our power to ensure she receives the appropriate hospitality,” she said.

  Azhure looked at them carefully. “Do not meddle in what you do not understand,” she said very slowly. “I forbid it.”

  There was commanding power and stinging rebuke in that last phrase, and StarDrifter knew that if it had not been for Faraday’s hand on his arm he would not have been able to resist it. As it was, he was incapable of speech, and was glad when Faraday answered.

  “We will only ever do what is best for Tencendor,” she said. “Believe that.”

  There was uncomfortable silence between the four of them, then Axis finally spoke.

  “StarDrifter, I will call on you once we know how best to resist the Demons. Faraday, I wish you well.”

  And then they were both gone, and Faraday and StarDrifter were left alone before the blighted beacon.

  “Faraday,” StarDrifter said, “was it true what they said about Drago?”

  “No,” Faraday said softly. “Drago is as lost as Zenith is.” She paused. “Zenith is not the only SunSoar child in need of some assistance.”

  She turned and took StarDrifter’s hand. “Will you trust me? More importantly, will you trust the faith I have in Drago?”

  StarDrifter thought about that a very long time. “Yes,” he said finally. “If you ask it.”

  56

  Discussing Salvation

  Drago lay under the gently swaying tree, so consumed by agony he could barely draw breath. He had stumbled blindly out here after the leap, not sure what kind of world he was walking into, and had fallen only when he’d walked straight into the coarse-barked tree.

  He was aware that somewhere a sun shone, and that warmth bathed his right leg where it extended from the shadow of the tree. He was aware there was a gentle breeze, for the branches of the tree rustled and swayed above him. This world also had a rather pleasant scent about it. But everything else was lost in the sea of pain.

  Sheol had patted him once they were done, pleased, and said that only one more leap remained.

  And then they would be at the Star Gate.

  One more leap, and then one to get through the Star Gate.

  But Drago was certain that he would not survive another leap, and he was not even sure if he would manage to survive the effects of this one.

  In the distance he heard soft laughter, and an excited voice. One of the Questors, and then StarLaughter’s husky tones. Kind souls that they were, the Questors would give him time to rest. Recuperate. Enjoy the sun.

  Drago would have laughed had he the strength. He knew they would drain him into a useless, dead hulk. They would consume his power, and then they would consume his life.

  Quite. Do you know what you aid, Drago?

  Drago really didn’t care at this precise moment. He wished the Sentinels would go away. He wished he had never stolen the Sceptre. He wished he had died when he threw himself into the Star Gate.

  But still his hand stole to the sack at his belt. It never left him now. Even at night it lay within easy reach.

  Do you know what you aid, Drago?

  Drago hated the persistence of the voice. Over past days and nights he’d occasionally heard the five Sentinels nattering between themselves. Now it was the leader of the group, Jack, who spoke to him.

  Drago, do you know –

  “I care not!” he whispered fiercely. “Leave me alone!”

  Demons, Drago. Demons who will devour Tencendor.

  Drago was silent. He didn’t want to hear it.

  Imagine, you are the agent by which such destruction will be visited on Tencendor.

  “Go away.”

  There was a rustle behind him, and a movement, then a brief wind and shadow as the flock of Hawkchilds rushed past and then disappeared again among the trees.

  You are in danger, Drago.

  Drago amost laughed, but could not find the energy. “Tell me something I do not know.”

  They have hurt you already. That was the voice belonging to the older woman, Zeherah. Drago felt a soothing warmth spread through his body, partially alleviating the pain.

  He gasped, and straightened a little. “Will you help me? I do not want to die.”

  Why do you think we should help you?

  “Because if I die, then you will fall into the hands of the Questors. So you must save me to save yourselves.”

  They burst into loud merriment. We are saved! cried Zeherah. We have no need of your assistance!

  “You will if you want to get back through the Star Gate.”

  We do not want to go back. An older male voice, perhaps Ogden or Veremund.

  “What? You must go back. You are the Rainbow –”

  No, we are not. True, our physical forms once went into its making and we resided in it for long years, but we have been freed from it now. You did that for us, Drago. By jumping through the Star Gate with the Sceptre you freed us. Now we can wander the stars if we choose.

  “Then why are you still here?”

  Because we regard you benignly and because we want to ask you a question.

  “What?”

  Are you prepared to aid Tencendor and your brother Caelum?

  Drago was silent long minutes before he replied. “I realised,” he finally said, “how alike StarLaughter and I are, how alike the Hawkchilds and I are. We have all been disinherited, our lives and heritages destroyed. My friends, I did not like the comparison. I do not want to be like them. Yet…yet at the same time I cannot ignore the harm Caelum has done me. I did not kill RiverStar, and yet he would not believe my denial. He wanted me dead, and so he found me guilty. Help Caelum? I don’t know.”


  There was a silence, then Jack spoke sadly. See how you have harmed Caelum, Drago SunSoar.

  Drago found himself caught up in a vision – someone else’s vision. He was staring through a child’s eyes, staring at the sky above Sigholt.

  Do you know with whose eyes you see, Drago?

  No, no! he cried in his mind.

  Yes! Who is he, Drago?

  Caelum. I see through Caelum’s eyes.

  Yes. Watch and feel with Caelum, Drago, as your infant malevolence strikes home.

  With Caelum, Drago found his eyes locked onto a nightmarish creature plunging out of the sky. Gorgrael! He heard a shriek of primeval terror, and realised it came from Caelum. He felt despair sweep through Caelum; despair and horror as the boy realised that Gorgrael had come because DragonStar wanted him dead.

  Betrayed by his own brother, betrayed to this horrifying creature.

  There was a sudden movement, and Drago felt Caelum’s nurse, Imibe, snatch him. She turned away, trying to protect Caelum with her body, but Gorgrael had capered across the roof.

  “Fool!” Gorgrael hissed, and raked his talons down Imibe’s face.

  Caelum did not feel those talons, but his despair darkened and ran rampant until Drago thought the boy would surely die from it.

  Warm blood – Imibe’s blood – trickled down his body.

  There was a flood of foul breath, and a flurry of movement, and Imibe was torn to shreds by Gorgrael’s claws.

  And through all this blood and death and despair, Drago could feel one overriding emotion – triumph. His triumph. His infant, malevolent triumph, surging across the rooftop from where he was bundled in Cazna’s arms.

  And Caelum felt it, too. Caelum felt it and his whole world broke apart, because brothers should not do this to each other. All he’d ever wanted to do was love DragonStar, play with him, explore the world with him, grow into adulthood with him, and yet all DragonStar wanted to do was see him torn apart, see him die, and for that purpose DragonStar had allied himself with the most hated creature in Tencendor.

  Now Gorgrael’s claws grasped Caelum’s body, and Caelum could no longer cope with the enormity of DragonStar’s betrayal.

  He lost consciousness, and Drago thought it was over.

  But no, it had just begun, for Caelum woke to more horror as he found himself trapped in Gorgrael’s Ice Fortress, trapped with Gorgrael leering over him and running cruel talons down his body. The torture went on and on, for days upon days, the pain riddling his body, the despair biting deeper.

  Caelum knew it would never end, and he could not understand it, when all he’d ever offered DragonStar was love.

  For your sins, for your pride and ambition and your overweening hatred, a good woman died and your brother was fatally scarred for life. Your brother has been crippled by your malevolence, and by the memory of that attack. If we let you live, are you prepared to aid Tencendor and Caelum?

  57

  While WolfStar Lay Sleeping

  She sat weeping, disconsolate, as the ferry bobbed and bumped against the pier of shadow-Pirates’ Town. About her pirates and their wives and chickens moved slowly, trancelike, not aware of her, not caring.

  Zenith did not think she had the heart to continue. Was life worth all this effort and pain? Why not let Niah have her life and be done with it.

  “Ah, Zenith! There you are. Here, take my hand. Let me help you from this ferry.”

  Zenith raised her eyes. Faraday was kneeling on the pier, leaning down, a hand extended, a lovely smile on her face.

  “Take my hand, Zenith.”

  Zenith sat and wished it would all be easier.

  “Take my hand, Zenith.”

  Zenith sighed, prepared for the pain, and took Faraday’s hand.

  They crept through the streets of shadow-Pirates’ Town, each step agony. The mist of the shadow-world made everything seem so unconnected that Zenith wondered if she had any existence at all.

  “StarDrifter is waiting, Zenith.”

  “StarDrifter?”

  “We are on the Island of Mist and Memory. You forget, this is his home. Tomorrow night you will be close enough to him that he can join us.”

  “Join us?” Zenith stumbled as her toe caught a rock, and she spent a moment crying in despair.

  Faraday hugged her close. “Assuredly, sweet girl. His power has not been strong enough for him to join us earlier, but here, StarDrifter can reach us.”

  Zenith almost smiled. “I would like that.”

  Faraday smoothed back Zenith’s hair. “And so would he. Come, another step. Yes, that’s it. And yet one more. Tonight I would like us to reach the long road that leads to Temple Mount. And from there, only a night or two more.”

  Suddenly she laughed, the sound ringing through the mist, giving substance and meaning to Zenith’s existence.

  “Fancy, Zenith, how Niah must be trembling in her sleep! Do you know that your mother came to see her during the daylight hours? They spoke for some time.”

  Zenith showed the first spark of interest that Faraday had seen in her for a very long time. “Really? What did Azhure want? What did she say?”

  “She crooned over her mother, and Niah told her how wonderful it was to be reborn, and she patted her swelling belly, and said that the baby grew apace. And…”

  “And?”

  “And Azhure asked her why her eyes were so ringed with shadows, and Niah said that her sleep was troubled with strange dreams, undoubtedly a result of her pregnancy.”

  Faraday paused, and helped Zenith for a while in silence. When she did resume speaking, her voice was hard. “Neither mentioned you, Zenith. Neither mourned you.”

  The next night, as Zenith sat in her half-existence beneath a great drooping malayam tree at the edge of the jungle that covered the southern half of the island, she heard footsteps, and then laughter. She raised her head, wincing at the effort.

  Down the road from Temple Mount, their steps light and joyous, walked Faraday and her grandfather, in all his silver and golden splendour.

  “StarDrifter!” she cried, and he bent down and pulled her into his arms and held her so tight that Zenith knew she must be alive, after all.

  “StarDrifter believed in your existence when all others did not,” Faraday said quietly to one side. “It was he who convinced me to look for you, Zenith. It was his belief in you that kept you tied to this shadow-land, his belief in you that did not let you wink out of existence.”

  Zenith burst into tears and held StarDrifter as tightly as he did her. Every tear left a trail of pain down her cheek, but all she felt was the strength of StarDrifter’s love and belief.

  He believed in her more than she had believed in herself.

  She burst into fresh weeping, and StarDrifter murmured to her, stroking her hair, her wings, her back. He looked over her head at Faraday, standing weeping herself now.

  “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you so very much.” For this moment StarDrifter had put aside his concerns about the beacon and the Demons. Zenith was all that mattered, Zenith was his entire world, and nothing, nothing else held any relevance.

  That night they reached the foot of Temple Mount.

  Niah retired to her chamber early, wishing WolfStar would come to her. She could not shake the feeling of dread that lay so heavy across her shoulders, and yet she knew not what caused it.

  Was it fear for the baby, so vulnerable at this early stage of development?

  Niah wandered about her chamber, unwilling to go to bed, yet not knowing why she feared it so much. She paused by the bed, her hand twitching at the coverlets, then she moved away again, her head high, eyes searching.

  “WolfStar?” she said, but he did not answer.

  Niah knew he had a great worry that kept him occupied somewhere else, but just tonight…tonight she wished he could have been with her. She wished that –

  “Niah?” His voice, husky with desire, broke into her reverie and he stepped from the shadows.r />
  “WolfStar!” She flew into his arms, and he laughed and kissed her.

  “What ails my love? Why call with such desperation?” He kissed her, and laughed at her fears of the night.

  “No desperation now that you are here, WolfStar. Oh, hold me, tell me I am safe!”

  “Forever in my arms,” he whispered, and carried her to the bed. “Forever I promised you, and forever it shall be.”

  Faraday, wrapped in power and the darkness of the chamber, sat and watched them. She cursed Niah for calling WolfStar this night, and she cursed WolfStar for answering.

  Would it make a difference? Faraday did not know. She had gone to Zenith in the shadow-lands before now when WolfStar lay sleeping at Niah’s side…but tonight was the night that Zenith hoped to step from the shadows into the light.

  It would be dangerous under the best of circumstances. And WolfStar’s presence made it close to the worst of circumstances. What if he woke and realised what was happening? He surely had the power to banish Zenith completely, not only from this world but from the shadow-lands as well. Banish her to a place where Faraday would never be able to find her.

  Where she would be lost forever.

  There was a silent movement at the door, and Faraday turned her head slightly.

  StarDrifter.

  He walked silently to her side, and she lifted a hand and took one of his.

  In this room, with WolfStar present, they could not even use the mind voice without waking him.

  Faraday summoned her power, and she and StarDrifter entered the shadow-lands.

  Through the night they toiled with Zenith up the thousand steps to the plateau of Temple Mount. On flat ground Zenith found every forward movement agonising; on a flight of steps her pain was close to being unbearable.

  But she was determined. Tonight. Even if WolfStar lay there sleeping.

  StarDrifter and Faraday put their arms about her, and lent her their love, and she took another step.

  They stood outside Niah’s chamber. Zenith was shaking with fatigue, but her mouth was a thin line of determination, and her eyes glittered with hatred.