by Smith, Megan
Heather’s jaw hits the floor. “This is going to be a long fucking night,” she mumbles as I walk away.
Holden’s smiles grows a little. “What’s up, Macy?”
I grab his hand tugging him to the dance floor. “I wanna dance with you.”
He chuckles as Jet high-fives him.
Holden and I start dancing to the beat of the song. Our hips swaying in perfect rhythm. I’m sweaty but I can’t stop moving my body. He’s keeping up. Every once in a while I feel his hands slide down and grip my ass bringing me closer to him. He’s hard and I’m not going to lie, it’s turning me on. I turn in his arm, he grips my hips and brings me back to him. I reach behind me and run my hands through his hair as we continue to grind into each other. It feels like I’m having sex with him but we’re still fully clothed.
My shirt is soaked by the end of the fourth song. Holden’s hair is wet too but he never once tries to stop us from dancing. The fifth song is a bit slower or at least it sounds slower. Holden turns me so I’m facing him again. He keeps a hand on my lower back. His fingers dipping into the waistband of my jeans. We’re staring into each other’s eyes but I have to keep closing my eyes as they have grown really heavy quite suddenly. I lean forward needing to rest my head due to the loud ringing through my ears. Holden’s other hand slips up under my shirt on the side and it feels fucking great. His hands are cold against my burning skin. He nuzzles his face into my neck and starts kissing it.
Every sensation in my body comes to life feeling him kiss me like that. I know it’s the drugs talking, but damn, it’s nice.
“Whoa,” Heather cuts into my daze. I feel someone pulling me and it feels like I’m freefalling before I land against something really hard with a thud. “We need to get you home, Mace.”
I try to talk and tell her that I’m fine, to leave me alone but my tongue feels to heavy.
“Dammit, Macy,” I hear someone say as everything fades away with a snap.
***
My mouth is dry and my skin is sweaty and sticky. I go to push the covers off of me but I can’t seem to move my arms. Damn, what the hell happened last night? I peel one eye open and the room has a soft glow to it. The rays of the sun rising, spilling into the room painting the walls an orange color. Knowing it’s safe, at least for right now, I peel open my other eye. My head starts hammering and my stomach rolls. Fuck, I’m going to get sick.
Light snores have me whipping my head to the side. My eyes snap shut and I cringe from the movement. When everything settles I open them again. Landon is lying beside me with his hands tucked under his face. His brown hair is a mess sticking up all over the place. His lips are red and swollen and he has a faint bruise forming under his right eye. He has stubble growing that’s barely visible unless you’re up close and personal. My eyes continue down to his chest, it’s bare, as usual. I close my eyes realizing suddenly that I’m shirtless too. I reach down because my body feels numb. I have no shorts on either. Shit! And I also have no panties on. Double shit!
“Fuck,” I mumble to myself. We definitely had to have screwed around last night. I go to move my right leg but wince from the soreness between my legs. My body feels like it’s been thoroughly worked over.
Landon moans rolling onto his back. He brings his strong muscular arms up above his head stretching them out, his muscles flexing as he does this. His eyes fly open and he freezes before looking around the room. He turns his head in my direction and shock registers across his face. Guess he doesn’t remember much from last night either.
“Morning,” Landon says. I scowl from the loudness of his voice. “Rough night?” he whispers being mindful of my throbbing head.
I nod and quickly grimace as my brain rattles in my skull. My head feels like it was knocked around much like my aching body. “I could say the same for you,” I say letting my eyes wander down to his chest.
“Damn,” Landon’s husky morning voice sends shivers all over my body. “I fucking missed it, didn’t I?”
I huff and lay my arm across my face summoning the memories from last night.
“Ride me, Macy.” Landon panted in my ear while rolling us so I was straddling him. “Hard.”
Oh, God, do I ever. My head fell forward and I watched as his cock disappeared into me, the tip of him slipped past my opening. Feeling a sense of urgency suddenly that took over I slammed down onto Landon the rest of the way and winced from the bite of him hitting the hilt. I raised up and came back down again.
Landon apparently couldn’t handle it either. He gripped my hips and helped guide me up and down at an unrelenting pace, a pace that he controlled yet I was the one controlling things. I swiveled my hips against his before I raised up and slammed back down again. I reached forward and dug my fingernails from his chest all the way down to his stomach. Landon’s grip on my hips tighten so hard, that I knew I’d have bruises tomorrow but I didn’t give a shit. I reached down between my legs as I slowed my movements and started rubbing my clit. The sensation made me even edgier to hit my climax.
Landon sucked in a breath watching me knowing I just upped the game. He bent his knees and it caused me to pull my hand away. I caught myself before falling face forward into his chest. Apparently he didn’t want me to have too much control. That didn’t surprise me though. Landon always has control at all times when we have sex.
“Hold on,” Landon gritted out.
I placed both hands on his chest bracing myself for whatever he was about to give me. Landon slid out almost all the way, just leaving the head in, and then slammed so hard into me that I knew for a fact that I was going to be walking funny tomorrow. I’d almost lost what little breath I had in me but it felt so damn good I didn’t give a shit. Nothing mattered in that moment.
He did it again and again. “Fuck!” I yelled from the sharp pain and blinding pleasure from that new position that only seemed to drive Landon even crazier.
His relentless pounding caused my vision to go spotty. My heart wanted to give out from the overdrive of his never-ending, out of this world stamina, and threatened to not be able to keep up. He’d pumped into me so hard that all I could say was, “Oh, fuck!” as my orgasm took over.
If Landon didn’t work out as much as he did I would have been worried he’d die of cardiac arrest. He’d barely broken a sweat. My body started to go limp from the intense orgasm that was racing through my body yet again as he continued pounding into me. At one point I lost my balance; my boobs now bouncing in his face.
Landon lifted his head and took a nipple into his mouth biting it hard. A shiver went right down my back and straight to the very spot that just experienced two off-the-chart orgasms. He continued to suck on it as his body started to tense under me but he still pumped in and out. Landon released that nipple and dove into the other like he was possessed. He sucked on it, swirled his tongue around it and then he bit down hard and it threw me right into another mind-numbing orgasm.
Holy fucking hell!
I physically couldn’t hold my body up any longer and fell onto Landon’s chest breathing as if I had just ran the last mile right along with him. My lips were numb, my heart pounding and my legs tingling. He wrapped his arms around my back and drove into me a few more times cursing under his breath before he gasped. I turned my head into the crook of his neck and bit down on that sensitive spot between the neck and shoulder as he came in me. “Fuck, Macy,” he said through his clenched teeth.
Landon’s touch to my breast startles me. “Looks like things got a little intense,” he says, nervously chuckling.
I look down to see I have his teeth marks around my nipple. Groaning, I roll away from him. He’s about to bolt, I can see it in his face. This is his normal M.O., he bolts the second the emotions are brought in. Plus, we’ve never fucked around like we did last night, never. Landon always treats me like I’m going to break. It’s what I normally want but sometimes I want things a little crazy but I’m too afraid to say anything. I’m scared if I do he’ll pul
l back and push me away.
I lie there on my side and I wait for the bed to dip from him getting up but it never happens. He’s so quiet I think he’s fallen back asleep again. I turn slowly, trying not to wake him if he did. Landon has his arms tucked under his head staring off into space. I scoot a little closer to him and run a fingertip down one of the many scratches that have dried blood on it. Landon’s stomach muscles tighten. He lowers his one arm and brings my body closer to his. Is Landon Hayes actually cuddling with me after sex?
Shit!
The pills that I took last night. Oh my God, Landon is going to murder me. Maybe I just won’t tell him. Hopefully, he falls asleep and we can skip the pillow talk.
I wonder if this is this how Madison feels every day? Is that why she takes them, for that floating feeling, the escape from reality, the numbness?
Landon takes a deep breath and I watch as his chest rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. The marks on his upper body are red and puffy; they’re probably going to sting a little when he showers. I like seeing them there though knowing I put them on his chest.
“Do you remember anything that happened last night?” he asks.
I stop moving my thumb that’s rubbing just below his nipple. “A little. It’s kind of spotty though. Do you?” It’s a lie. I don’t want to say anything if he can’t remember.
I feel him shake his head rather than answer at first. “No, not really.” Landon plays with a piece of my hair. “I remember showing up to the party late.” He was late because he had to get high first, I’m sure. “Colton handed me a shot the second I made my way over to the guys and then that continued for a while. I remember I kept telling them no more and they weren’t listening so I left but I don’t remember how I got here.”
I lift my head off Landon’s chest and bring my hand up to the bruise under his eye, “Do you remember how that happened?”
He smirks, “Yeah. I punched Holden.” I remember dancing with Holden last night before things got fuzzy but if Landon doesn’t know why he punched him I’m not telling him. I’m sure the guys were rubbing it in his face.
I shake my head, “For what?”
Landon shrugs. “Don’t remember exactly.” He pulls on the strand of hair he’s playing with, “What happened with you?”
And there it is, the talk I didn’t want to have. “Heather and I were at a party.” That’s all I give him. He didn’t seem to care about where I was before he went to his party so why should he now?
“And…” Landon probes.
“And I don’t remember much of it. We weren’t there very long.”
He sighs, “You were trashed, Macy. I remember that part. You opened the door and jumped into my arms.” Landon reaches down for my hand that’s on his chest and brings it to the top of his head. He’s got a lump there. “We fell in the hallway.”
I frown. “I don’t remember that.”
“I’m not surprised. Heather said you weren’t drunk though when she helped us off the floor. She told me it was Madison’s fault that you were like that before she shoved us in here and left.”
Damn Heather and her big mouth.
Laying my head back on Landon’s chest I explain everything that I could remember about last night. “So, yeah, my head is killing me. I took a baggie of pills. I’m naked. I’m sore and I don’t know what the hell happened in those spotty moments.”
When I finish, Landon is breathing hard and his body starts to shake. “You took pills last night?”
I guess he did hear me say that part. “Yeah, whoever that guy that Madison deals with thought I was her, I guess.”
“Stay the fuck away from Jay, Macy. I fucking mean it.” Landon sits up abruptly. “He’s bad news.”
I cover my naked body with my sheet. “But not bad enough for you and Madison?”
Landon picks his jeans up off the floor and puts one leg into them. He glances over at me with rage in his blues. They’re so dark when he’s pissed. He reaches down and picks up his shirt and tugs it over his head.
“Stay the fuck away from him, Macy.” Landon seethes.
“But—”
“But nothing, I’m not fucking around.” He reaches for his sneakers not even bothering to put them on before stomping over to the door and slamming it shut behind him.
“Well, I guess I know how to piss him off when I need to get rid of him,” I mumble to myself before lying back down and going back to sleep.
Just as I think I might sleep, Heather comes over with coffee. I forgive her for coming in because of what’s in her hand. “Morning, sunshine.”
I grumble as she sits down on the bed and take the coffee. It’s warm and exactly what I need.
She hands me her phone. “I have video footage from last night.”
“Oh, God,” I nearly choke on my coffee. “Is this like that movie Hangover?”
“No,” she smiles handing me the phone. “It’s better. Especially at one minute, twenty-three seconds into your lap dance where you go to whip your head around and nearly knock out Will.”
“Will?” I press play.
It’s all there.
All of it.
I gave Will a lap dance in front of the entire party. I gave fucking Will a lap dance!
“You broke Will’s glasses by the way.”
I place my coffee cup on my nightstand and pull the covers over my head officially embarrassed.
“You don’t find that the least bit funny?” Heather says while laughing.
“Get out,” I grumble from beneath the covers.
She’s laughing so hard now she snorts. “Just wait till you see him in class. I bet he’s gonna have tape holding them together.
I yank the covers off and push Heather out of my room and lock it behind her. I’m never leaving my room again.
October 31, 2013
I’m sitting in class as another wave of nausea washes over me. That’s the second time today. Heather and I went out to Studio One Café for breakfast this morning and as soon as the waitress set the plate of French toast down in front of me I stood up, knocking my chair over, and ran to the bathroom. I never did get sick but my stomach never settled enough for me to even eat. I left poor Heather at our table to eat by herself while I walk around outside. I couldn’t even stand the sweet smell of syrup in the air of the café.
My period is two weeks late. I’m scared shitless. I have no one to talk to about this and that isn’t helping me at all. Yeah, I could talk to Heather, she knows more about my life right now than my own twin sister does but I’m afraid. I feel like I barely fit in now as it is and if I am pregnant I’ll feel like I have a sign on my back that says outcast for sure. Or people will say I got pregnant on purpose because Landon will go pro for sure. I’m not telling Landon because of the drugs I took a few days ago. He will freak the fuck out if he even speaks to me after I tell him I could possibly be pregnant. Will he even believe that it’s his? Probably not, but I know it is. I’ve never been with anyone else.
I glance up to the clock, twenty minutes until this lecture is over. I sit back in my seat and rub a hand over my stomach begging the feeling to just go away. I thought seeing Will shortly after I gave him a lap dance would be awkward, well more awkward than normal, but it wasn’t. He asked for another one. For a brief second I forgot about my problems. And here we sit in this never-ending lecture while I’m feeling like death warmed over.
Will leans over in my direction, careful not to bring attention to us. “You okay? You don’t look so hot?”
I give him a pointed look. So, not only don’t I feel well, I don’t look well either. Just fucking great.
The corner of his lips pulls up, “Well, you always look hot.” His cheeks flush. “Just not right this second.”
I stare blankly at him for a few seconds letting him squirm in his seat before letting him off the hook.
“I, uh, I…” Will stumbles with his words. He thinks he offended me.
I giggle, “I’m
just kidding with you, Will.” He visibly relaxes. “I don’t actually feel too well. I must have eaten something last night that isn’t sitting well with me.”
“Yeah, probably.” He looks toward the professor before meeting my eyes again. “I was going to ask you to a Halloween party tonight.” He’s nervous and it’s kind of cute. “But maybe we can just hang out and do something low key if you aren’t feeling all that well.”
I sigh. “I wish I could, Will.” I tap my pen on my leg. “Believe me, I want something normal in my life but I’m just not capable of normal right now.” My eyes tear up from the memories of my past, the good ones and even some of the bad. “I’m so in love with Landon and all his fucked up shit that I can’t see straight.” I look Will in his eyes and give him a small smile while my eyes water. “Run away while you can, run far, far away.”
Will looks like I’ve slapped him across the face for a brief minute before his expression changes to understanding. “We’re all fucked up in our own way, Macy.” He shrugs. “I hope Landon opens his eyes before you slip through his fingers and I step in to save the day.”
“That’s it for today. We’ll review briefly in the next class before moving on,” the professor says.
Everyone around us stands shuffling books and papers before gathering all their belongings and leaving class. I reach down to grab my purse off the floor but Will beats me to it.
“Thanks,” I say taking it from him and slinging it on my shoulder.
“I’m serious, Macy. When he fucks up I’m holding you to our date,” Will says with a smirk on his face as his cheeks burn red. He’s still trying to impress me even though I just shot him down.
I step past him and into the aisle, “And I’ll be ready.”
Chapter Five
November 3, 2013
Landon
I took a few days before I called Madison to tell her about what happened with Macy. When I left Macy’s dorm I went straight to the gym and beat the shit out of the punch bag until my knuckles were raw and bloody. I would have kept going if one of the trainers hadn’t stopped me.