Surviving Regret

by Smith, Megan

  “I guess you’re right. Mason and Cooper will probably just wind up here anyway.”

  “Trust me. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to tell everyone. There is going to be a bunch of bullshit that goes down, but it is you and me, CC. I won’t let anyone come between us.”

  I hoped he was right this time.

  On the drive back to my parents’ house, I told Hunter that I was going to finish out the semester at ODU. I would transfer my credits back to a college in New Jersey close to the house. That way, I could still figure out how to get my teaching degree and be close to him where we would have help with the baby. Mom and dad were in the kitchen eating lunch when we arrived.

  “Andrew, Elle, we need to talk to you guys.”

  Hunter, who never gets nervous, stood at my side, sweating.

  “Well, I’m glad you two are back to speaking again,” my dad said. “I didn’t like seeing you guys fighting. It was worse than you fighting with Mason.”

  “Um, Dad, things might not be so well between us and Mason once he finds out what is going on.” I reached over and grabbed Hunter’s hand; I needed the connection with him.

  Hunter squeezed my hand and cleared his throat, “CC and I are going to move in together when I graduate college in a few months.”

  Dad frowned. “Kenzie still has three years left of school.” He looked at me for answers, “You want to transfer back home just to be closer to Hunter? That’s not like you.”

  My eyes darted to mom. She gave me a thin smile. “I’m pregnant, Dad.”

  He had the same reaction as my mom. Disappointment, hurt.

  “I don’t know what to say.” he said.

  “I’m sorry, Dad, I know you’re disappointed in me, and I’m more disappointed in myself.”

  I started crying. He turned from me. Mom stopped him before he left, wrapping him in her arms.

  “You knew about this?” Dad asked mom. She nodded. “What are you going to do about school? You need to finish, MacKenzie; you need a college education nowadays.”

  “She’ll finish, I’ll make sure of it,” Hunter said. “We will do whatever we have to do to make sure she gets her degree. I have a job lined up when I graduate and I have money saved up from my inheritance. She will be taken care of Mr. Cahill, you have my word.”

  I was proud of Hunter for standing up to Dad. It made me fall a little more in love with him.

  “This isn’t going to be easy, MacKenzie,” Dad said. “You are basically giving up your life. You understand that right? You are sure this is something you want? You are ready for such a huge responsibility?”

  I smiled at Hunter. “Yes, this is what I want. I want to raise our child together. I know things are going to be tough and I’ll have to work extra hard, but I have to do this.”

  “Hunter, you are in this for good now, right? You are going to take care of my little girl, protect her and my grandchild?” Dad said sternly.

  “Yes, sir. No one comes between us ever again.”

  “You know I already think of you as a son, but I’m glad it’s you that this happened with and not some other asshole. I’m not happy with it at all but as long as you give me your word I’ll accept it.”

  Hunter cleared his throat. “You have it, sir.”

  Hunter and I left shortly after that and went to talk to his mom, his sister was out somewhere with Cooper so she would find out later tonight when we told my brothers. His mom took it pretty well. She was disappointed, but that was to be expected, but was proud of her son for standing up and taking responsibility. She rode with us back to my parents’ for dinner.

  Cooper, Jaylinn, Chloe, Jackson, and Alex were at the house when we got back, but Mason was out picking up Hailey. Mom had dad grill so that the smell wouldn’t turn my stomach. She was already helping me so much with my pregnancy.

  Mason finally showed up with Hailey. She glanced at me, but I could only shrug. She knew, but I hadn’t prepped her for the shit-storm. I hoped she knew to hold on tight.

  We served dinner, and I trembled as we sat. I decided to wait until everyone was mostly done with dinner before making our announcement.

  I took my last bite of food set down my fork. Hunter grabbed my left hand, and Chloe took my right.

  “So, I, um…”

  Hunter squeezed my hand giving me the courage to finish my sentence. I squeezed my eyes shut.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Everything stopped. Mason was in mid-bite, frozen in place. Cooper dropped his fork. Jackson almost knocked over his soda.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Mason asked.

  I shook my head.

  Jackson stared at Chloe. “You knew? And you didn’t tell me?” He glanced at Mason. “She was at the house so early Saturday morning. I knew something wasn’t right.”

  I nodded. “I was scared, and I didn’t know who else to talk to.”

  Mason and Cooper simultaneously rose from the table. A moment later, Mason’s car started out front. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Hunter ran his hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me. I was hoping they would be supportive and not freak out.

  Wishful thinking.

  Jackson didn’t say anything more about the pregnancy; I didn’t really expect him to. He was already a father and knew what we would be in for with the baby coming.

  Jackson finished off his soda. “Let’s go.” He placed his empty cup on the table and walked away without a goodbye.

  Chloe grabbed Alex from the highchair. “I’ll catch up with you later in the week.” And then the three of them were gone.

  Jaylinn and Hailey were both happy for us. Mom and I were in the kitchen cleaning up dinner when Hunter came back with Mason and Cooper.

  They each had their hands in their pockets, a good sign, except for Hunter’s busted up lip. Hunter motioned for me to follow them.

  “Before you guys say….”

  Cooper cut me off. “We talked to Hunter, we’re all good.”

  Mason’s voice was on low simmer. “I’m not good with it but I’ll deal. He gave us his word and that’s all I need to deal with it.”

  “What happened to Hunter’s lip then?”

  “Nothing,” Cooper said.

  “Didn’t look like nothing.”

  “Kenz, drop it.” Mason said stretching out his hand. At least I knew who hit him.

  Now that everyone knew, the weight I had felt on my shoulders was gone.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Hunter, Hailey, and I returned to school that weekend, on the way back I told Hailey what my plans were for next year. I explained about going to school in Jersey so that I was closer to home and the baby and I could be with Hunter. She agreed with me that that would be for the best. She said she would be transferring too since her and Mason were getting pretty serious and talked about moving in together if she did.

  Hailey and I made an appointment to speak with our counselors that week to explain to them the situation and started the process of transferring our credits to our local community college.

  Hunter had refused to let me stay at the dorms after the first night that we were back. He said he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t take care of me the way he wanted. He spoke with Bentley, and they both agreed to have Hailey and I move in with them. I felt bad for not giving Bentley a choice but he assured me that he was perfectly ok with us and he even joked around with Hailey and me about cooking to earn our keep. I stuck my nose in the air at the mention of food while Hailey and Hunter laughed at me. They had to explain that cooking food made me sick but Hailey said she had it covered. I was really going to miss seeing Bentley when we moved back home; he turned out to be a great guy even when he threw some crazy parties.

  Hunter and I had our first little argument since getting back together about me keeping my part time job at the library.

  He had his hands on his hips, scowling at me, he said, “I don’t want you working you don’t have any reason to.”

  “I’m n
ot going to quit when I’m perfectly capable of working.”

  “I don’t like it, Kenzie. You need your rest.”

  “Hunter, I’m fine. If I feel it becoming too much I’ll give them my two weeks’ notice.”

  I eventually won since he had no valid point that I couldn’t continue with my job. My first day back, I pulled Logan aside and thanked him for talking to Dominic about him figuring out that I was expecting. Hailey stopped by one evening to check up on me, Hunter’s part of the agreement that I could work, and she and Logan talked about what happened earlier in the year. It came down to a huge misunderstanding about Brittany.

  Dominic stopped by the library to check on me.

  “How’s Brittany taking it?” I asked.

  “You know her,” Dom looked exhausted. “She is convinced the baby is mine.”

  “I don’t mind telling her myself that this baby is Hunter’s. Just say the word.”

  “No, I don’t want you anywhere near that crazy bitch. I told her if she kept this up we are done.”

  “Ok, well the offer still stands.”

  Hunter waved at me from the entrance of the library. He frowned as he approached.

  “I’ll take care of it,” Dominic said. He and Hunter mumbled hellos and then Hunter took me home.

  “So what was all that about?” Hunter asked.

  “Brittany is giving him problems. She is convinced that this is Dominic’s baby. I offered to set her straight but he refused my offer.”

  “Good, stay away from that nasty whore, CC.”

  I didn’t even attempt to argue back.

  I was still doing well in my classes despite missing a few because of headaches and morning sickness. April rolled around, and Hunter and I drove back home for a doctor’s appointment and to meet with a contractor my dad found to help with the house. We had our first ultrasound scheduled for this appointment. It was the ugliest thing and most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Hunter said it looked like a gummy bear with his heart on the outside; we were also able to hear his or her heartbeat for the first time that day, too. Mrs. McCormick, mom, and dad met us at the house along with the contractor after our appointment was over. We showed off all the pictures. The contractor arrived while we were showing the pictures off so my dad and Hunter told them what we were looking for and told them we would get the contract back to them as soon as we reviewed their proposal. Later that night we made our journey back to school.

  We all took our finals in the middle of May, and Hunter and my brothers graduated the next week. We agreed to have one major graduation blowout at the house.

  When we arrived home, it looked like a completely different place. With the renovations finished, it finally felt like home. Hunter told me the baby’s room was off limits since he wanted to work on it himself.

  We had another ultrasound scheduled so we could find out the sex of the baby. Sitting in the waiting room, Hunter and I discussed whether we wanted to find out or not, but we still didn’t have an answer when the nurse called us back.

  “Hunter, we are going to have you wait right out here while we get some measurements of the baby. Then, we will have you come in, and show you everything as well.” The nurse explained all this while leading us back to the ultrasound room.

  “Sure, that’s no problem.” Hunter kissed my forehead before I disappeared behind the curtains.

  After the nurse finished all of her measurements, she stepped out of the room and asked Hunter to join us.

  “So, I will let you guys listen to the heartbeat for a few minutes while l work on getting you two some pictures.”

  Hunter stood next to my head, reached for my hand and gave it a little squeeze. The baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong. It was like music to our ears. I wished we could bottle the sound up and take it home with us.

  “So would you like to know the sex of the baby?” The nurse asked us.

  Hunter looked down at me and I smiled. I was letting him make this call. He knew I really didn’t want to know.

  “No, we’re going to let it be a surprise.”

  “Very well then, Ms. Cahill, you are all done here.”

  ***

  Two weeks later, we threw the boys a graduation party at the shore house and had the wedding rehearsal for Jackson and Chloe, all on the same weekend. Between all the action, I took some time to feed Alex while Chloe napped. Jackson did a double take when he saw me sitting on his couch.

  “Getting your practice in?” he asked.

  “I guess you can call it that.” I looked down at Alex and gave him little kisses on his little chunky cheeks. “Or you can call it spending time with my awesome little nephew.”

  “Did you burp him yet?” Jackson asked, taking a seat next to me.

  “Not yet, he just started drinking it.”

  “I know what you’re thinking, Kenzie. Trust me; it’s harder than it looks. You are up all hours of the night, leaving the house takes forever and you have to pack half the house just to go around the damn block.” He reached over, grabbed Alex’s little hand and Alex grabbed hold of his pinky. “Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it is hard work.”

  I blinked away the tears. “I know.”

  “Everything will work out.” He looked down at Alex’s bottle and took it from me. “Now, give me my son. Hunter is looking for you out back.”

  Hunter waited for me on the beach. Between the sand dunes and grasses, he stood in the middle of heart made out of candles and seashells.

  He pulled me to him and smiled that panty-dropping smile.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  He looked over my shoulder. My family and all our friends stood on the sand. Then it hit me.

  He was proposing.

  I was a complete blubbering mess. Hunter pulled a Tiffany’s little blue box that held a princess cut diamond ring with little diamonds wrapped around the band. He looked up at me with glassy eyes.

  “CC, you’re my world, you’re my light in the darkness, my safe haven. I love you more than anything. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

  I was sobbing and could only nod. He took the gorgeous ring out of the box and placed it on my finger. He put both of his hands on my stomach and said, “You hear that, little man? Your mama is gonna marry me.”

  He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my stomach. At that exact same moment, the baby kicked for the first time, right where Hunter’s lips were.

  His eyes shot up to me, wide. “Was that the baby kicking?”

  I just laughed through the tears. “Yeah, I guess our little peanut likes that we’re gonna get married.”

  Hunter wrapped his arms around me, and our family came rushing up to congratulate us. Everyone was happy for us, including Mason, which made this day a little extra special. We had a lot to celebrate that weekend.

  The following week was extremely busy. I had my final fitting for my maid of honor dress, we were throwing a bachelorette party at Chloe’s house Friday night and the wedding was Saturday afternoon.

  Chloe and Jackson’s beach wedding was stunning. The girls wore coral colored dresses, and Jackson and the guys wore khakis pants with white shirts and coral ties. Chloe’s parents didn’t show, so my dad walked her down the aisle. Hailey held Alex in his little white tuxedo. He looked so handsome.

  Chloe and Jackson decided on a cruise for their honeymoon, and I was watching Alex while they were gone. Jackson volunteered me, saying it was good practice; I didn’t have a problem with it since Hunter was going to be starting his new job that week. He was working with the local police department in the investigation unit. He was excited that he was able to land this job.

  Mom, Mrs. McCormick, Hailey, and Chloe threw me a surprise baby shower two weeks after Chloe got back from her honeymoon. Hunter and I got everything we needed for the baby, plus more. Hunter still refused to let me see the baby’s room until it was finished. I began having some swelling issues around m
y thirty-third week, was put on bed rest and had to go to the doctor’s office twice a week for monitoring.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  I was thirty-seven weeks.

  And huge.

  I had a doctor’s appointment and ultrasound scheduled—the last one before we would meet our little chunky monkey. Hunter planned to meet me there on his lunch break.

  My phone rang before I left. Hailey immediately demanded to talk to the baby. I rolled my eyes, but I cradled the phone at my belly, like she demanded the past dozen times she called.

  After a good minute, I put the phone back up to my ear. “Sometimes I think you like the baby better than me.”

  “But you don’t have those teeny-weenie toes!”

  I grinned. “I have a doctor’s appointment around lunch time today. Do you want me to stop over when I’m done?”

  “Sure. Mason is supposed to come over and take me to dinner tonight.”

  “Oh, really?”

  Hailey and Mason’s relationship was rocky right now. Something was going on, but they both refused to talk about it. Any time I mentioned anything about it, they told me it was really nothing for me to worry myself. I tried talking to Hunter about it, but he just told me everything would be ok between them. He explained they weren’t really fighting themselves. They were fighting about something else that was going on.

  “I really wish you would tell me what is going on, Hails. I hate seeing you guys like this.”

  “You don’t need the added stress. Everyone is taking care of everything. Stop worrying that pretty little head of yours.”

  “I’m not made of glass. Now tell me what the hell is going on.”

  She huffed. “I just can’t. Now stop worrying and go get ready.”

  “Fine, but this isn’t over. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

  “Ok, love you and little man.”

  “Or Princess. And, I love you too.”

  A crack of thunder shook the house and I jumped. The baby kicked like a fiend. I rubbed my belly.