Cleat Catcher (The Cleat Chaser Duet Book 2)
Page 18
Jessica Moore is one such woman, mid-thirties, bad marriage, basically raising the kids all on her own. She is sexy as hell, she just doesn't know what she's capable of. Will I give her everything she longs for? You'll just have to read to find out...
The Panty Whisperer, Volumes 1 - 5
The Panty Whisperer Series, Books 1 - 5
JOEL IS BACK!!
This collection includes the original plus four additional fast-paced, panty-dropping short stories.
Have you ever been pushed to the edge, and then over it? Have you ever had your toes cramp and your head shoot to the sky, trying to log every touch, every feeling in your memory, to reenact every situation later in the shower, or underneath your cool bed sheets? Have you ever had someone own your mind, penetrating every single one of your sexual fantasies, unable to shake free of them?
The thought of me will be a thirst you can't quench, an itch you just can't scratch, a drug that you cannot have. Every time you run your fingers down over your body, longing for that unattainable feeling I gave you, that warm sensation shooting into your toes, that complete surrender of all inhibition, aching for me to have you just one more time, I'll be there, inside your mind...
My name is Joel Hannover and I am the panty whisperer. Some men are good at business, some gifted at mathematics--I'm good at making women come, hard. It's a gift I've possessed my entire life. If there was a girl nobody could bed, I was the first to get there. I always get there. I work as an accounting software consultant. That's a fancy way of saying I'm a salesman. Accounting departments are full of women, dressed conservatively, presumed to live boring, mundane lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. These women are unique, sexual creatures, yearning for someone to take them to their breaking point and beyond.
Will Joel finally meet his match? You'll have to read to find out...
The Panty Whisperer, Volume 6
The Panty Whisperer Series, Book 6
Has Joel finally met his match?
This is a follow up novella to the first five short stories in The Panty Whisperer serial.
Have you ever been pushed to the edge, and then over it? Have you ever had your toes cramp and your head shoot to the sky, trying to log every touch, every feeling in your memory, to reenact every situation later in the shower, or underneath your cool bed sheets? Have you ever had someone own your mind, penetrating every single one of your sexual fantasies, unable to shake free of them?
The thought of me will be a thirst you can't quench, an itch you just can't scratch, a drug that you cannot have. Every time you run your fingers down over your body, longing for that unattainable feeling I gave you, that warm sensation shooting into your toes, that complete surrender of all inhibition, aching for me to have you just one more time, I'll be there, inside your mind...
My name is Joel Hannover and I am the panty whisperer. Some men are good at business, some gifted at mathematics--I'm good at making women come, hard. It's a gift I've possessed my entire life. If there was a girl nobody could bed, I was the first to get there. I always get there. I work as an accounting software consultant. That's a fancy way of saying I'm a salesman. Accounting departments are full of women, dressed conservatively, presumed to live boring, mundane lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. These women are unique, sexual creatures, yearning for someone to take them to their breaking point and beyond.
How will Joel cope with Quinn's rejection? You'll have to read to find out...
Panty Whisperer: The Complete Series
I love women. I’m not ashamed to admit that making a beautiful woman come is my main goal in life—one that I accomplish night after night. Women are as drawn to me as I am to them. I don’t get turned down. It’s not a brag, just a fact. At least it was a fact. Until I met Quinn—the one woman who didn’t fall for my easy charm. Now, I have to have her. She may not want to get close, may not want to admit that I turn her on and can give her a night that she’ll never forget, but she was mine the first moment I saw her. Eventually, I’ll have her beneath me, my hands in her hair, and my name on her lips. It’s what I do. I’m the Panty Whisperer.
***
Chloe Comes For Christmas, An Erotic Holiday Novella
James lives in the friend zone. His best friend and fraternity brother Mark, the All-American cornerback, has always found a way to get the girl going back to their teens. When James meets Chloe first and falls for her, Mark swoops in once again.
This time is different though. James has his sights on teaching them both a lesson for making him look the fool.
***
Bad Boy Revelation
The Alpha Bad Boy Series, Book 1
Daddy told me not to even look at the man in the corner. He's troubled he said. I wanted to do more than look at him.
I grew up in the church. I was raised better. And I was broken. Oh, was I ever broken. I had a sexual appetite that couldn't be filled. A thirst in me that only sin could quench. I needed him, the man in the corner, to claim me, dominate me, own me.
I'd do whatever it took. Goad him if necessary. I needed that man like I needed air or water. I needed the bad boy.
Bad Boy Prospect
The Alpha Bad Boy Series, Book 2
Fighting, f***ing, and winning. It's what I do and nobody will stand in my way. It's how I live my life on the field and in the bedroom. I make hitters fear me. If they're scared, it gives me an advantage, and I capitalize on it. People say I have an attitude problem, that I'm a bad boy. It's exactly what I want them to think.
Until I meet Elizabeth, the psychiatrist Coach makes me see. She specializes in pro athletes. There's something about her. Maybe she'll be the one who finally cuts through my layers and sees the real me. Who knows?
Bad Boy Brawler
The Alpha Bad Boy Series, Book 3
Devyn O'Dare is the Ultra MMA world heavyweight champion. He destroys opponents. He doesn't like to be in the public eye. One day he makes a bad decision that will alter his life forever.
In the hospital he meets Carly, single mom, nurse, struggling day to day. Devyn feels he can right some wrongs from his troubled past. He can change Carly's life and end her struggles, prevent her son from the same type of childhood he experienced. But Carly must decide if she wants to trust Devyn and put her pride aside, or soldier through life alone with her son.
Bad Boy Con Man
The Alpha Bad Boy Series, Book 4
Grayson is a con man. If he sees an opportunity, he capitalizes. When the score that can set him up for life comes along it's too much for him to resist.
Then he meets Amelia. Intelligent, funny, gorgeous, and a lover of comic books. She's everything he's ever wanted. But, at the end of the day he has to make a choice — hurt the woman he's crazy about, or take the money and leave his old life behind.
***
Payne Capital
The Payne Capital Series, Book 1
Devyn White and his fiancee Meredith—the perfect All-American couple—have just moved to New York City following his acceptance of his dream job working at Payne Capital, a private equity firm ran by Rebekah Payne, a billionaire math and finance prodigy. Devyn soon realizes his dream isn't all that he imagined as he is thrust into ethical dilemmas involving an ex-husband, an out of control boss, the operations of the firm, and his own personal relationship with Meredith. When the heat is turned up he must soon make difficult choices that will affect the rest of his life and possibly hurt the people he loves in the process.
BONUS MATERIAL
Hello! Sloane Howell here with a quick explanation. Each time I release a book that I write, or that I co-write with Celia Aaron, I upload copies early to pirate sites on the interwebz. I know you’re already thinking, “What a dipshit.” Well, I change the endings around to make them humorous, and to let the pirates know that they’ve been trolled.
This book was no different. We cut it off around chapter seven and I rewrote a sex scene. Celia added a few thing
s and we even took selfies to say thanks to the pirates for downloading our book illegally. (We added all of the U.S. copyright and anti-piracy laws to it more than once to make the file size look legit on the pirate copy, in case any of them have a brain. I’ve omitted that here, since you are all upstanding, law-abiding citizens.) A few fans suggested adding it to the end of the book as a bonus, and we thought that was a damn good idea. So here is the alternate ending. We hope you enjoy. :)
His hips jerked, but he maintained control. “Beg me.”
“Please, please, please Braden!” I tried to scoot down to get him inside me, but he moved his hips back.
“Tell me exactly what you want.” He pinned me with his dark eyes. “Beg.”
My pussy was on fire. I had to give in. It was the only way to get what I needed. “You. I want you. I want you to fuck me hard. Your cock deep inside me. I want your come. I want you to come inside me.”
“Jesus, Nik.” His voice was gravelly, dripping with sex.
“Please,” I whispered.
He bit down on my shoulder and growled, “I’m gonna spank my spunk into your ears.”
Holy fuck, he knew me so well. I hadn’t taken an earshot in ages and I was overdue. “God, I want your semen in my ear.”
“Then I’m gonna come on your night stand, your walls, just spin around like a Tazmanian jizznado. The fucking spunk sprinkler. Ch-ch-ch-ch d-d-d-d-d ch-ch-ch-ch d-d-d-d-d-d. Paint your goddamn walls in my nadpoles.”
“I’m so wet just thinking about it, baby.”
“Give you Cocklear implants. Better have your otolaryngologist on speed dial. Cuz here I COME!”
Ahoy, twats. Celia and Sloane loooooooooove youuuuuuuuuu!!! Now go buy the book, matey. It’s a frikkin buck.
BRADEN
Fuck off in every language:
Bulgarian
1. Kon da ti go natrese
Means: Get fucked by a horse
Used as: Fuck off
Cantonese
2. Puk gai
Literally means: Pave the road with your shit-worthless body
Dutch
3. Klootzak
Means: Testicles
Used as: Asshole
Czech
4. Mrdat, prcat
Used as: Fuck off (but slightly more offensive)
Filipino
5. Hindot ka
Used as: Fuck you
French
6. Ferme ta gueule
Used as: Shut the fuck up
7. Trou de cul
Means: Asshole
8. Putain de merde
Used as: Holy shit/ What the fuck
9. Putain
Means: Whore
Used as: Dammit (annoyed exclamation)
German
10. Hau ab
Used as: Fuck off
11. Mutterficker
Means: Motherfucker
12. Scheisse
Means: Shit
13. Fick dich
Means: Fuck you
Greek
14. Ade gamisou
Used as: Go fuck yourself
15. As to thialo
Used as: Go to hell
Hebrew
16. Khapes mi yena’ane’a otkha
Means: Find someone to shake you
Used as: Fuck off
Hindi
17. Uloo Ka Pathe
Means: Son of an owl
Used as: Son of a bitch
18. Kutte ka aulad
Used as: Son of a bitch
19. Matharchod
Used as: Motherfucker
20. Rundi
Means: Hooker
Hungarian
21. A macska rugjion meg
Means: May the cat kick you
Used as: Fuck you
22. Lofasz a seggedbe
Means: A horse dick in your ass
Used as: Fuck you
Italian
23. Cazzo
Used as: Dick
24. No me interesso un cazzo
Used as: I don’t give a damn
25. Vaffanculo
Used as: Fuck you
26. Vafonapoli
Means: Probably not a real word. (CC: Joey Tribiani and the cast of Friends)
Used as: Fuck off
Japanese
27. Urusai Gakai
Used as: Shut up
Kashmiri
28. Thraat paaye
Means: May lightning strike you
Used as: Fuck off
29. Kohn Chuuke
Means: Are you blind?
Used as: You’re kind of a bitch
Latin
30. Irrumator
Means: Bastard
31. Filius canis
Means: Son of a dog
Used as: Son of a bitch
32. Bovis stercus
Means: Bullshit
33. Stercus accidit
Means: Shit happens
34. Potes meos suaviari clunes
Means: Kiss my ass
Mandarin
35. Tsao Ni Zhu Zhong Shi Ba Dai
Means: Fuck all your family for generations past
Portuguese
36. Vai te fuder
Means: Go fuck yourself
Spanish
37. Mierda
Means: Shit
38. Pendejo
Means: Pubic hair
Used as: Fuck/shit
39. Puta
Means: Whore
Yiddish
40. Putz
Means: The opposite of mensch? Yiddish is a pretty peaceful language
Used as: Dickhead
These are Words we Use to Describe you:
1 Vagina
2 Vagine
3 Lady Bits
4 Pussy
5 Poon
6 Poon-Tang
7 Punani
8 Vajayjay
9 Cooter
10 Cho-Cha
11 Cooch
12 Muff
14 Sugar Notch
15 Yahoo
16 Hoo-Haw
17 Honey Pot
18 Beaver
19 Thatched Cottage
20 Pink Panther
21 Snatch
22 Cherry
23 Cunt
24 Hot Pocket
25 Vertical Smile
26 Pink Taco
27 Petticoat lane
28 Wizard Sleeve
29 Cupcake
30 Cookie
31 Woo-Woo
32 Lady’s Low Toupee
33 Love Tunnel
34 Sin Flower
35 Peach
36 Bear Trap
37 Minge
38 Foof
39 The Sarlacc Pit
40 Hairy Potter
41 Hairy Manilow
42 Pink Portal
43 Mount Majesty
44 Coochie Pop
45 Eve’s Tunnel
46 Harpy Nest
47 Lady Jane
48 Flap Dragon
49 Butter Boat
50 Flaming Lips
51 Puff Pillow
52 Egg Crate
53 Pecan Pattie
54 Frothy Creek
55 Velvet Glove
56 Silk Igloo
57 Sticky Bun
58 Pearl Hotel
59 Magic Crepe
60 Mother Of All Souls
61 Velvet Goldmine
62 The Batcave
63 Pink Mink
64 Lawrence of A Labia
65 The Promised Land
66 The Notorious V.A.G.
67 Field of Dreams
68 Pink Truffle
69 Furburger
70 Ariel’s Underwater Treasure Grotto
71 Her Vadgesty (Thanks Popkitttayyyy)
Celia Aaron
Sloane Howell
Celia Aaron & Sloane Howell
Copyright © 2015 Celia Aaron & Sloane Howell
All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of
this e-book only. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Celia Aaron. Please do not participate in piracy of books or other creative works.
This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
WARNING: This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Please store your files wisely, away from under-aged readers.
“How can you not be romantic about baseball?” -Billy Beane
KYRIE
THE CRACK OF the bat echoed around the half-full stadium. Nikki hissed. I looked up from my Kindle and caught a glimpse of the runner speeding toward first base as every head on the field craned up to watch the ball’s flight. It soared into the stands beyond the left field wall, and the runner slowed his pace, taking each base with unabashed swagger. I returned to my book.
“That guy has been talking shit about the Ravens for the entire off season and now he gets a homerun?” Nikki took an angry bite of her hotdog, getting mustard and ketchup in her blonde locks. This was on top of the beer she’d already spilled on my jeans. The scent of fresh dirt, green grass, and popcorn mixed with the hops to create a smell that could be bottled and sold under the label “eau de ballpark.”