Tagged for Life

by Sam Destiny

  “If I push you away suddenly it’s just because I need to run away from them, not you,” he gave back, just as quietly, making her laugh.

  “You two love birds better share that joke,” Aimie ordered, but Tessa just shook her head, winking at the girls.

  “Some things are just meant for my ears,” she grinned, loving the stunned expression on her friends’ faces.

  “Sex talk? On my sofa? Really?” Hilary asked and Jazz shrugged nonchalantly.

  “I guess we better not mention that usually we wouldn’t be talking about that here on her sofa, right, Tess?” he joked, earning a punch from Hilary.

  “You are incorrigible,” she fussed, but Tessa knew that wasn’t true. He was simply great.

  Jazz snuck a glance at his watch. It was almost four and he needed to get back to base if he still wanted to shave and maybe catch at least half an hour of sleep.

  "You have to go, right?" Tessa asked quietly, turning enough so she could look at him.

  "We took away all your time!" Aimie realized, jumping up from the recliner she had sat on.

  "That's okay," Tessa said gently, but Jazz knew she was lying. He could hear in her tone how disappointed she was that she didn't have more time with him.

  "You could never play Poker, Missy," Hilary said softly, proving Jazz right. They had all heard it.

  "No, it was nice to spend the evening with all of you," Tessa protested and Jazz squeezed her tightly, letting her know that he had thought it nice, too. It didn't change that he wanted to have just some more time with her.

  "Let me walk you to the door," Tessa whispered, giving him a long look.

  "Oh please. Let me translate that for you," Hilary graciously offered. "I'm gonna walk to the car with you so we can quickly make out in your truck before you leave."

  Jazz saw Tessa take a deep breath, realizing that her patience was running low. She obviously could take only so many comments about them.

  "We can sleep in all day tomorrow. Jazz can't. So I'm going to walk him to the car, kiss him goodbye, let him hold me for a minute and then I'll make sure he'll get on the way. This isn't just any job where it might be okay if he drops by later. Plus..." She looked up at him, brushing her hand over his cheek. "He still needs to shave and I'd rather he'd take his time with it instead of cutting his handsome face," she finished, touching her thumb against his lips. He kissed her fingertip; surprised she had picked up on those rules.

  "Tessa, I wasn't trying to be a bitch," Hilary said quietly, looking apologetic.

  "Tessa wasn't trying to say you were, she was just trying to point out how much she hates that I need to be on time," Jazz grinned, picking Tessa up. She yelped in surprise, holding onto his neck. "I do have to go now though," he agreed, putting her down right at the front door.

  "This wasn't what you came for, I know," she whispered and he kissed her forehead, knowing that actually four girls were sitting in the living room, not trying to hear something and yet being totally silent.

  "I came to spend time with you, hold you and see you. And I did. It was fun. You have a crazy bunch of friends, but Tessa, they love you. Remember that next time you snap at Hilary for a comment she makes," he said gently, cupping her cheek in his hand.

  "They act as if all we do is have sex or talk about the time we will have sex. As much as I like doing that with you," she said with a smile, making him close his eyes at the memory, "it's not all we do and especially not all we’re about. At least not if you ask me," she explained, lowering her eyes. Why wasn’t she looking at him anymore?

  "Tess?" he asked, waiting until she met his eyes again. "If this would have been only about ... you know," he mumbled, shrugging, "I would have taken you in my truck, but remember I told you that wasn't what we are about?" he wanted to know and she nodded.

  "I just don't want them to think you’re one of those guys, because I know you aren't. And I'm not one of those girls. That's all," she whispered.

  “One of what girls, beautiful? Because I sure didn’t think I was throwing off the vibe that I was into cheap girls. In fact…” What in the world was she thinking? And when exactly had he given her the impression seeing her wasn’t enough?

  She hid her face in her hands, shaking her head. He couldn’t decide if he was insulted or hurt.

  “I don’t think I ever did anything or said anything to…” He shook his head and then stepped back.

  She instantly followed, grabbing his jacket as if she feared he was going to leave. And maybe he was.

  “No, I don’t want them to think that because I know you are the most amazing man anyone can wish for. Don’t you see, Jazz? You just spent hours humoring four girls that are a handful if you have them in two groups. You managed like a pro, and I don’t want them to think it’s because you want sex. Damn, you’re so much more than that! And I…”

  She was trying to compliment him and it was the sweetest thing ever. He framed her face and pushed her back until her back hit the wall while he kissed her deeply.

  “I’m sorry I misunderstood,” he whispered against her lips, knowing that he needed to go.

  “I’m sorry you make me so damn nervous I couldn’t say what I really wanted. But…” The way her cheeks blushed he knew there was something dirty on her mind. Oh, how he wished they had some more time so he could get just a little more of her.

  “I sure hope we’ll get more nights alone because I bet that sofa bounces really good,” she grinned, checking to see if any of the girls were close enough to hear.

  Jazz groaned as the sensual images of their night invaded his mind, mixing with all the things they could be doing on a sofa.

  “Don’t even dare to think about it!” Hilary called from the living room and Tessa closed her eyes, something unreadable crossing her face. He touched her lip, but she didn’t look up. He just wished he knew what she was thinking, but then again, which guy didn’t hope for that?

  Tessa wished for the first time ever that she was home and Jazz just a guy from her neighborhood. She wanted a few hours alone with him without needing to worry about the time, or the fact that someone else was listening, or the house that wasn’t hers. She wanted Jazz all to herself for two days without needing to feel guilty. And she considered herself a bitch for that thought.

  The way Jazz looked at her, she almost thought he knew exactly what she was thinking. He called a last goodbye to the girls and then pulled her over to his truck, embracing her so she wouldn't freeze outside.

  "We'll get another night alone, okay? I'll be back and you'll be able to just focus on me," he smiled and she replicated that, cuddling into him even though now she wanted to let him go even less.

  "You need to go. I don't want you speeding and then end up getting hurt. I'm gonna text you as soon as I'm up, okay?" she promised, wondering if she had maybe scared him away with her rather emotional outburst. After all, she all but had said that she was totally into him.

  "Tessa, you’re seriously driving me crazy today. What's up now?" he wanted to know, brushing his thumb over the crease in her forehead. Instantly she forced a smile on her lips, shaking her head.

  "And here I thought I’m always driving you crazy," she whispered in a hushed voice, making him laugh even while he rolled his eyes.

  "You know what I mean," he grinned, squeezing her backside just that bit tighter to let her know that the second was still true, too.

  "I’ll tell you when we meet again," she smiled, and went on her tip toes to kiss him one last time, then made sure she vanished back in the house so they wouldn't get tempted anymore.

  Going straight up to her bedroom she grabbed her iPod, sitting on her bed. She didn't feel like talking to the girls about Jazz ... or that fling in general. Obviously though she didn't get that reprieve.

  Evy came in, just looking at Tessa for a moment before closing the door behind her and coming over to the bed.

  She reached for Tessa's iPod and checked the song since Tessa didn't take out her headphones.r />
  Beautifully Unfinished by Ella Henderson was playing.

  "Seriously, babe?" Evy asked and Tessa picked up a brow. She loved slow songs and even though most people found them depressing, she found them comforting. Plus, this wasn't really a depressing song after all.

  "Yes, seriously," she gave back and Evy unplugged the music from her ears, setting it aside.

  "This is getting pretty heavy, Tessa. You are falling head over heels in love with him and I don't think you could stop it if you wanted to," she explained, but Tessa just stayed quiet. She would neither agree nor disagree. "Don't get me wrong, he’s one amazing guy, but this is a fling ... three weeks and nothing more. Look what my three weeks got me," she went on and finally Tessa closed her eyes. She was not going to let that happen.

  "We are being responsible." Why did this feel like a talk to her damn mother? She was nearing thirty, she knew how to make sure that she got neither sick nor pregnant. "And besides that, I know it's three weeks, but you all told me to go for it and enjoy every minute. That's what I'm doing."

  "Encouraging you might have been stupid. This is going to break you," Evy whispered.

  "This is going to make me stronger," Tessa protested. She had no idea if she was lying to herself because, as it was, she couldn't see how this would end up making her feel. Except for a little bit lonely maybe.

  “When we suggested this we didn’t think it would be like … this,” Evy admitted, making a circle gesture with her hand.

  “And from where you stand, what exactly is ‘this’?” Tessa asked and Evy took a deep breath, getting up from the bed and walking over to the window.

  “It’s intense and sweet. Damn, girl, this is a whirlwind romance and we both know how those end. Not even in books do they all have a happy ending. He’s too perfect, and together you two are like triple chocolate fudge with extra sugar. It’s amazing if you get one taste of it, but anything more kind of makes you want to throw up.”

  Tessa stared at her best friend’s back, wondering what she was trying to say because this sure hurt like shit. Tessa couldn’t remember the last time she had been happy like that … or had met a guy that made her smile as much.

  “I’m sorry a guy likes me so much it makes you want throw up,” she said calmly, not knowing what to think or say next.

  “Oh God, no,” Evy instantly exclaimed. “That was not what I meant in the slightest! It’s just so strong and the two of you have only known each other for a week. Things like that are supposed to be fun, not serious. And the two of you are very serious. The way he looks at you and the way you look at him! You will be going back, Tessa. And you won’t return any time soon. Is that how you want to be at home? Depressed and sad? You’ll miss him like crazy. I’m still sure you should have fun with him, but maybe you should consider slowing down. How about you just text him now that you’ll only see him Wednesday? Please, you two are getting hot and heavy and I’m going to be the one to see your tears and try to dry them.”

  Tessa shrugged, hugging herself. She knew this was intense and fast, but she also knew it was right. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so sure about something.

  “I am careful,” she promised.

  “You have only one heart, Tessa, and I don’t think you should risk it,” Evy urged. Tessa closed her eyes. If all the girls had picked up on how much Tessa was invested in this, she maybe hadn’t been as sneaky as she had thought. And as much as she hated it to admit it, it scared her too.

  “Maybe you are right and I should step back a little,” she whispered, her heart already breaking at the thought of texting him something like that.

  “I know it’s right,” Evy agreed and Tessa forced out a smile, hoping to appear relaxed.

  “It’s all good. It’s not that I’m in love with him,” she promised, thinking to herself that maybe a ‘yet’ should have ended that sentence. She faked a yawn. “I’m gonna text him once I finally get some sleep,” she then added.

  “Yeah, I bet you need the most sleep of all of us. And trust me, if he was a guy from back home, I’d give you all … ah hell, I’d still talk you out of something like this because you need to get to know him, okay? Promise me that you really see this just the fun way and then, at home, we’ll find you a nice and right guy, okay? One who’s there to stay,” Evy said, hugging her tight. After she had left, Tessa grabbed her iPod again, turning her music back on. She had a hard time trying to think about something different, yet somehow she couldn’t stop thinking she wished Jazz would be there to stay.

  Jazz was staring at the motor in front of him in silence. He had long ago figured that the filter was the problem, but instead of taking it out and searching for a new one, he just stood there, wondering what this thing between Tessa and him was.

  He knew he wanted to see her again. Hell, he even knew he wished he didn’t have to work so he could still be with her, but something in her eyes had set alarm bells off in his head. They were going at a rapid pace and he wasn’t sure if they were headed to a destination or if it was towards destruction.

  Tank entered the garage, singing happily and, to Jazz’s dismay, terribly out of tune. His best friend probably couldn’t carry a tune to save his life.

  “Shut your mouth or I’ll do it for you,” Jazz called, hearing how Tank froze in his steps before coming over.

  “Well, well, well. And here I was, fully prepared to make excuses for why you weren’t at work today,” he said, giving Jazz a grin.

  “Why shouldn’t I be here?” he wanted to know and Tank wiggled his eyebrows.

  “I just figured you might have overslept in your girl’s bed. Unless she suddenly found someone new,” Tank remarked, giving him a questioning look.

  “You know I always put the Army first. I wouldn’t miss work because of a girl.” As much as that might have been true just a week ago, he knew he still wanted to be by Tessa’s side. He was even considering skipping work just so he could bring her to the airport, if she’d let him. Then again, he wasn’t sure he really wanted a goodbye that lasted forever.

  “I know, man, but I have seen how you are when it comes to her,” Tank shrugged and Jazz straightened before sitting down with his back to the car.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Easy. You’re thinking about her constantly. You drop everything if she calls or texts you. Are you that desperate for a little action between the sheets? I mean, it has to be something about her, right?” Tank sounded almost challenging.

  Jazz knew there was a lot to her, like the way he felt when he was with her, or the subtle smile she wore on her lips when she thought he wasn’t looking. But mostly he totally loved the way she listened to him, supporting him whenever he needed it. He knew everyone thought they just made out, but that wasn’t true. He loved holding her and telling her about his life before he had joined the Army. It was crazy, but sometimes he felt as if he had been a different guy back then. As it was, he had been a different guy last week.

  Resting his head back, he closed his eyes. He was pissed at Tank for speaking that way about Tessa, but he doubted that his best friend would see reason. Besides, Jazz didn’t feel like fighting.

  “It’s not sex, is it?” Tank asked, his tone having lost all playfulness.

  “I like her,” Jazz admitted, wondering if that even was the truth because he liked a lot of people. Tessa was unlike any of them though.

  “You need to stop seeing her, Jesse.”

  Jazz snorted. He probably could count the times Tank had called him by his real name on one hand.

  “I’m being serious here, dude. She has you all wrapped around her little finger and as much as I like you considering something more than just jerking off under the shower, she’s not a permanent fixture in your life, and you would do better to remember that. After all, she didn’t take long to jump into this thing with you, did she? How do you know it’s not her MO?”

  Jazz wasn’t even sure he should answer that. Tessa just didn’t seem
to be one of those girls. And he had initiated this whole thing after all. Not she had kissed him at the airport. That had been all him.

  “I don’t know what you mean, Tank.”

  “I mean you want her to be yours. Fully. Do you suddenly think fucking hearts and white picket fence? Because that’s sure what it looks like to me. And we both know that is stupid. Enjoy this, Jazz. Fuck her on the bed of your truck, or inside of it, then drop her off, squeeze her ass and get back here. No lovey-dovey talks, no heart-to-hearts. You need to focus. The training for your deployment starts in a few weeks and we have loads to do here. I think we should go out with the guys for a beer tonight.”

  “But…” Jazz was hoping to see Tessa that night and knew Tank wouldn’t like that much.

  “She’s going back in two weeks. Jazz, you won’t see her anymore then. Answer me one question: What is this thing between her and you from where you stand right now?”

  Jazz instantly opened his mouth, but then stopped. As crazy as it was, Tank was right. He was leaving soon and she was leaving even before that. She completely occupied his thoughts and yet there was no future for them. Tank had a point and Jazz figured it was better to pull back slowly and maybe just see her in a couple of days. He had a life before she came into it and suddenly he was putting everything on hold for her?

  “Seriously, did she once jump when you said it? No, instead you risk everything by barely sleeping anymore. What if you fall asleep behind the wheel? For what?” Tank continued

  Jazz just gritted his teeth. There was so much he wanted to say to that, but nothing would come out that would convince Tank of Jazz still having full control over this. As much as he examined it from every angle, he didn’t see any chance for a happy outcome, especially not with him leaving for Africa in the very near future. Even if they’d agree to try this long distance thing Jazz simply couldn’t see him missing her all the time and never holding her.

  “You’re right,” he finally agreed, taking out his cell to text Tessa. With every word he typed his heart’s beating got more erratic, but he still forced himself to send the message.