Inescapable

by C. J. Fallowfield

  Alves swung open the gate and gestured for me to step through first. I had a moment or two to soak in the view in front of me as he followed me through and turned to close the gate behind him. A large, perfectly manicured lawn stretched out in front of me, gently sloping up to a formal terraced area, full of potted plants and gently swaying palm trees. Behind that sat a pristine and modern, two-storey, long white house, with large windows opening onto the terrace. There was a glass balustrade that ran the entire length of the first-floor balcony, which seemed to allow access from each of the sea-facing rooms. It was stunning. And vastly impressive in its size.

  I followed Alves up the path, climbing the steps while managing to take a quick glance backwards over my shoulder. At the peak of the island the view down the hill, over the wall and out to sea, was breathtaking. Not to mention that infinity pool with its comfortable looking cabanas dotted around it. I had a sudden urge to learn to swim again.

  We headed on, stepping past some billowing white muslin drapes into the cool interior, where the raw stone floor of the terrace gave way to highly reflective polished white travertine.

  ‘Good evening, Alex,’ Sarah smiled, as she set down a soup tureen at one end of a long wooden dining table with matching chairs. ‘I hope you managed to get some painting done this morning?’

  ‘I did thank you, Sarah.’

  ‘Mr. Castle sends his apologies, something urgent came up, but he’ll be down shortly.’

  ‘It’s a minute past eight.’ Alves frowned, glancing down at his watch and I resisted the urge to giggle as Sarah rolled her eyes and flicked her head in his direction.

  ‘Life doesn’t always run to a schedule, Alves,’ she stated.

  ‘But he’s rarely late,’ he responded firmly.

  ‘Well, today he is, and it was unavoidable. You can leave Miss Bishop in my care now, until he arrives.’

  ‘Well, I really ought to–’

  ‘Good night, Alves, I have everything under control,’ she repeated firmly. I sucked my lips into my mouth to contain my laughter as he visibly wilted under a fierce gaze from the petite housekeeper.

  ‘Very well. He knows where to find me if I’m needed.’

  ‘I’m fairly certain you won’t be, he’ll be too busy entertaining to want to discuss any matters relating to work tonight. Good night,’ Sarah repeated. Alves nodded at her, then gave me a forced smile before spinning around and disappearing out the way we’d come in.

  ‘Is he always so uptight?’ I asked when I was sure he was out of earshot.

  ‘He’s paid to be. Not the easiest of chaps to get along with, but he’d lay down his life for Mr. Castle if he had to, and any of the employees or guests, so I can forgive him for being a bit prickly and standoffish. He hasn’t been rude to you, has he?’

  ‘Just honest, which I respect.’

  ‘What can I get you to drink, Alex? Mr. Castle shouldn’t be long at all. I have a bottle of white wine chilling to go with your meal, but I can offer you a cocktail, champagne, red wine, spirits, or a soft drink if you prefer?’

  ‘Wow, I’m spoiled for choice. Just water would be fine for me, please.’

  ‘I’ll fetch a bottle for the table. Come and make yourself comfortable.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I took the seat that she gestured to and gave her a genuine smile as she squeezed my shoulder before hurrying out. I liked her a lot. She reminded me a little bit of Janice with her warm persona and smile.

  I gazed around, taking in the huge table that could easily seat fourteen at a time, maybe even more. The room was minimally furnished, with just two large open shelving units that contained a plethora of crockery and crystalware. Behind me, not that I could ever see it being used, was an open fireplace with a French style stone fire surround that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a château.

  ‘Here’s the water,’ Sarah said, as she filled my glass and set the bottle down on the table. ‘Would you like me to keep you company until he arrives?’

  ‘No, that’s not necessary, I need to send a few overdue texts home anyway. I’m sure you must be busy cooking. I hope your soup won’t spoil sitting out here.’

  ‘It’s a refreshing cold summer soup, but if you’re sure you’re okay, I do need to keep my eye on the chicken. It’s his favourite dish and I’d hate to ruin it when he’s taken the trouble to invite you to dinner.’

  ‘I’ll be fine, thank you for doing this, I can’t wait to try it.’

  She grinned at me and hurried off, so I grabbed my phone and fired off a few messages to Janice, then Tom, checking how they were, and how things were going at the gallery. I resisted the urge to ask about Richard. They’d let me know if they had any updates, and I didn’t want to ruin the rest of my evening giving him any more thought.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Alex, I ...’ Castle’s voice trailed off as he entered the room and locked eyes with mine, making my breath hitch. He had damp hair, a white shirt rolled at the sleeves and loose grey trousers that sat low on his hips, and he was barefoot. How did he look so casual and so damn hot at the same time? ‘You look stunning,’ he breathed, as he shoved his hands into his trouser pockets.

  ‘Thank you,’ I replied, feeling my cheeks heat up at the compliment. I’d lined my eyes in navy blue and swept a clear gloss over my lips, in an attempt to look as if I wasn’t trying too hard.

  ‘Hasn’t Sarah offered you a drink?’ he frowned as he saw my glass of water.

  ‘She has, but I was fine with water. I prefer something in my stomach before having anything alcoholic.’

  ‘You didn’t eat at lunchtime?’ he asked, padding over to take the seat at the head of the table, at a right angle to mine.

  ‘No, I got carried away, then had to rush for my session with Ester,’ I replied, lifting my glass to quench my dry throat. He’d just showered. He smelled fresh and woodsy, and just the sight of that triangle of his upper chest, where his shirt was unbuttoned, was like a potent aphrodisiac. Anyone would be affected by it, let alone a woman starved of male affection for so many years.

  ‘You need to eat and hydrate in this weather, Alex,’ he shot back, as he reached over and grabbed my napkin, then flicked it out over my lap. His forearm brushed mine, all masculine lines with hard muscle, then there were those long deft fingers of his.

  ‘Agreed,’ I confirmed as I swallowed gulp after gulp of water.

  ‘Relax, it’s just dinner,’ he advised as he gently took the glass from my hand and set it down on the table. ‘Tell me about how your painting went today?’

  ‘You don’t have to talk about my painting to try and put me at ease.’

  ‘If I need to try and put you at ease, then discussing something you love is exactly what we need to be talking about,’ he answered as he lifted the lid off the soup and started to ladle some into my bowl.

  ‘Oh. I thought … never mind.’

  ‘You thought what? That one of my minions would come and do this for me?’ he laughed. ‘I’m perfectly capable of serving soup, Alex.’

  ‘I didn’t mean the soup, I just … in my experience men like to talk about themselves.’

  ‘As we’ve already concluded, your experience is limited and not a fair representation of men as a species. You’re passionate about what you do and I love art. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing than having dinner with a beautiful and captivating woman and hearing her talk about something that makes her glow.’

  ‘I glow?’ I glanced over at him, wondering if I’d ever see myself the way he seemed to see me.

  ‘You do when you talk about painting,’ he replied, filling his bowl. ‘So, I want to hear all about it, knowing the thought process that went into a piece of art that will eventually hang on one of my walls, will make it all the more special. Eat while you talk, we don’t want it to go cold.’

  ‘It’s already cold,’ I said, then laughed as he winked at me before taking a mouthful of the delicious smelling creamy yellow mixture. ‘You do, you know,’ I added quiet
ly, sipping some myself.

  ‘I do what?’

  ‘Put me at ease, at least more than anyone I’ve ever met. It was months before I agreed to have dinner with Tom.’

  ‘Thank you. But I still want to hear you talk as we eat.’

  ‘Can we talk between eating? I’ve never had pina colada flavoured soup before and it’s delicious!’

  It was his turn to laugh as I started to devour my bowl of soup. I was famished. And not just for food.

  Chapter Ten

  Castle

  A Month Later

  ‘AM I CRAZY?’ I asked Ester.

  ‘Do you think you’re crazy?’ She pretty much always answered one of my questions with one of her own. I should know better after so many sessions over the years.

  ‘I’m thinking of sharing parts of my life with Alex that I’ve never shared with anyone. It’s only been five weeks.’

  ‘What significance do you attach to that timeframe?’

  ‘It’s too soon.’

  ‘Too soon for what?’

  ‘Feelings,’ I muttered, as I averted my gaze to look out of her window.

  ‘According to who?’

  ‘Me,’ I replied with a sigh. One moment I was convinced everything felt perfectly natural, the next I was worrying it was all too fast and everything could go wrong. ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with a woman again unless I was sure it would last.’

  ‘Can anyone ever be sure of something like that?’

  ‘No, I guess not.’

  ‘But you have them, feelings for her?’

  ‘Yes,’ I admitted on a whisper as my gaze slid back to hers.

  ‘Is it that you don’t trust in your feelings, or maybe it’s that you don’t trust in hers?’ Ester’s question made me take pause to consider the answer that I already knew, but hadn’t wanted to vocalise in case it made it real.

  ‘What if she’s transferring? I’ve made her feel safe and that’s why she’s giving me these subconscious signals that she wants me. She could have reacted like this to anyone who offered her protection.’

  ‘And that’s what’s worrying you?’

  ‘Yes.’ I felt some kind of relief just admitting it.

  ‘Hmmm,’ Ester murmured as she set her clipboard and pen down, then leaned forward in her chair. She held my gaze as she waited for me to say more.

  ‘Don’t do that,’ I muttered, frustration rising to the surface as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. These were the moments when I felt like therapy was a complete waste of time. These were the moments when I wanted someone to take the decision-making process out of my hands and give me a goddamn answer. I wanted to be able to blame someone other than myself again, if it all went horribly wrong. I scrubbed my hands over my face. I should know better. Only I was the master of my own fate. I dropped my hands and let out a heavy sigh as I made eye contact with her again.

  ‘Don’t do what?’ she asked after a long period of silence.

  ‘Just sit there, looking at me. That means you’re expecting me to say something insightful that will solve my own problem. Has she given you any indication of how she really feels about me?’

  ‘You know that I can’t disclose anything discussed in my sessions with her, Tate,’ Ester replied, slowly sitting back and crossing her legs, with her hands folded in her lap. ‘But as you’ve told me about the torture that she endured, I can tell you one thing. A woman that emotionally scarred would have incredibly high self-preservation barriers around herself. She’d never give away her trust quickly, or easily. If you truly believe that she’s given you that, and let you in, in such a short time frame, then it’s not her feelings that you need convincing of. It’s yours. What’s really holding you back?’

  ‘I’m bloody scared, alright? I’m scared that I’ll bare myself, make myself vulnerable again, and she’ll just walk out of my life. I can’t bear the thought that I’ll never feel the way I feel when I’m with her, ever again.’ I grabbed my glass of water off the side table and took a few gulps as my chest heaved with panic at my admission. ‘It fucking terrifies me the devastation she could leave behind if I let her in.’

  ‘Love by its very nature is terrifying. It’s about trusting your heart, taking a leap of faith and hoping that they jump with you.’

  ‘Love?!’ I nearly choked on my water. ‘I never said anything about love.’

  She just smiled knowingly at me. Like she had access to all of the places in my mind that I kept my secrets contained in. Then she picked up her clipboard and pen again as she waited for me to fill the silence.

  Damn her.

  Alex

  ‘What is it? Why do you keep looking at my mouth?’ I asked.

  ‘Do I?’ He lifted his brandy to his mouth and took a slow and measured gulp, which he savoured as his eyes drifted back to my lips.

  ‘Yes, you’re doing it now.’ He’d been oddly quiet as we’d eaten. Seeming in a contemplative mood, and he couldn’t stop staring at me.

  ‘Where would you like me to look, Alex?’ he asked as he settled back on his cream sofa, the soft cushioned back wrapping him in a hug. It was the first time since I’d arrived on the island that he’d invited me to any room in his house other than the dining room. Not counting the odd visit I’d had to make to his cloakroom. His lounge was warmer, not overcrowded, but it had a more relaxed vibe than the minimalistic look of the dining room. It had soft furnishings, comfortable cushions, a large rug, and lots of well-read books on the shelves, interspersed with works of art that I recognised as collector’s items.

  ‘I don’t know, but you’re lingering there. Do I have something stuck in my teeth?’

  ‘Not that I’m aware of. If I was staring at your chest you’d probably slap me. If I hold your gaze for too long you blush and avoid looking at me for a few minutes. So, I figured your mouth was safe ground. Would you prefer that I talk to your nose for the rest of the evening?’

  ‘My nose?’

  ‘Hmmm. That cute little thing in the middle of your face, that twitches each time you laugh, and occasionally flares when you look at me and think I don’t notice.’

  ‘It doesn’t flare,’ I objected.

  ‘You’re not denying looking at me.’

  ‘You’re fairly easy on the eye,’ I admitted. He gasped and pressed a hand to his heart faking a dramatic reaction.

  ‘Just fairly? I was really hoping you’d think I was devastatingly easy on the eye.’

  ‘You are,’ I admitted, knowing my cheeks would betray me before my honesty anyway.

  ‘The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. But each time I look at you now, I catch some different angle or feature that makes me revise that assessment. You’re beyond beautiful, Alex.’

  ‘Castle.’ My voice came out a shaky whisper as my stomach fluttered and flipped at his words, a mixture of elation, heat, and terrified adrenaline flooding my system at the same time. We’d spent over a month getting to know each other. Walks on the beach, drinks, and sharing meals together most days. I’d never felt so relaxed with a man, yet so tense at the same time. It was torture to want his lips on mine each time I looked at him, but for him not to try and kiss me.

  ‘I know, too much. But you deserve to know the truth, I don’t want to hide how I’m feeling from you, any more than I want you to hide from me. It doesn’t mean we have to act on it.’

  ‘I … I thought you were the personification of handsome when I first saw you. If it wasn’t for this scar,’ I reached out and slowly ran my finger along his temple, tracing its silvery line, ‘you’d be physical perfection.’ His eyes closed as he hissed though his teeth and shuddered at my touch.

  ‘Alex.’ His voice was gruff and low, causing a contraction deep in my abdomen, my pussy suddenly throbbing with an aching need to be sated.

  His eyes snapped open and held mine as he reached for my finger and pulled it away from his temple. He moved it slowly down his cheek to his lips, and c
ircled them, giving me time to pull my hand from his grasp. But scared as I was at the thought of where this could lead, I didn’t pull it away. My breath hitched as he parted his lips and gently closed them around the tip of my finger and sucked it. His tongue firmly laving it, circling, causing my nipples to harden in response. His mouth was hot, wet and firm, and if he could invoke this reaction on my index finger, God only knew what having that mouth on my breasts or clit would do to me.

  ‘Castle.’ The breathy moan that left my lips snapped me out of the lust-fuelled daze he’d surrounded me with and I quickly pulled my hand away, sucking in a deep breath of relief when he made no move towards me. His eyes were heavy and his chest was heaving, but in his own way he was letting me control whatever this was between us, yet giving gentle hints of where it could lead, while not taking me out of my comfort zone or pushing for more. ‘How did you get your scar?’ I asked, desperate for something to focus on instead of the aching need and throbbing between my legs.

  ‘I wish I could lie and say it was something masculine like a rugby tackle.’

  ‘You were a rugby player?’

  ‘In college, and again at university, yes.’ He took another swig of his brandy and blinked rapidly as he tried to maintain his focus on the middle of my face.

  ‘Just because I blush and can’t hold your gaze doesn’t mean that you can’t look at my eyes,’ I teased.

  ‘I love looking into your eyes, Alex. Just when I think I’ve counted all of the shades of blue in them, they change like a kaleidoscope and I find even more variations to drown in. I don’t like it when you look away, not just because you’ve broken a connection with me, but it makes me feel as if I’ve made you uncomfortable.’

  ‘You do, sometimes, but in a nice way. You don’t scare me, and I don’t know why that is. So, are you going to tell me how you got that scar, rugby boy?’

  ‘You really don’t take compliments well, do you?’ He laughed and shook his head. ‘You change the direction of a conversation mid-sentence.’