Inescapable

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘He kept you prisoner, cut you off from everything and everyone you ever loved. He hit you, bit you, cut you, beat you down, and scarred you. Don’t just get mad, get fucking even!’ he roared.

  ‘Arghhhh.’ I screamed, so loudly that it felt as if I’d just ripped my vocal cords apart as I threw a right hook his way. He lifted his hands to protect his face and blocked it seconds before my left fist flew at him and caught him on the temple. I gasped and shook my bandaged fist, which was throbbing, and watched as Castle wobbled and staggered, then landed with a thud on his back as he shook his head, blinking with his eyes unfocussed. ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’

  I ran over and was about to kneel down to check on him, when his leg swept out and took mine from under me and I crashed down onto the mat beside him. Seconds later, he’d rolled me onto my back and was hovering over me on all fours, making sure to keep his body weight off me.

  ‘And he’s got you. Never underestimate your opponent, keep going until he’s out cold,’ he warned as he rasped for air, his chest glowing with sweat. I was hot as well, but not just from training. I reached up, locking my hands behind his neck, then licked my way up his throat, tasting the salt on his skin before I crushed my mouth against his. He balked for a second, surprised by my reaction, then his lips merged hungrily with mine. As soon as I felt his muscles relax, I twisted my body to my left and slid my right arm and leg to his left-hand side, then used every ounce of strength I had left to push and unbalance him. I flipped him onto his back, then scrambled up to straddle him.

  ‘Never fall for a woman’s wiles, or she’s got you,’ I grinned, eyeing up his muscular chest, then running my hands over it, loving how dewy his skin felt under my touch. Like a ripe peach.

  ‘Alex, this is serious,’ he protested, carefully grabbing my hands and stopping them in their tracks.

  ‘I’m deadly serious. All work and no play,’ I added in a whisper. His nostrils flared as his eyes darkened and he sat up, putting us chest-to-chest, nose-to-nose.

  ‘And I want to be able to play with you for the rest of your life, Tiger, but that will only happen if you can defend yourself from people who want to harm you. As you reminded me, I might not always be there to protect you.’

  ‘I don’t expect you to be,’ I replied, holding his gaze as we took it in turns to breathe, so close we were exchanging each other’s breath.

  ‘Damn it, Alex, you’re weakening my resolve,’ he groaned.

  ‘It doesn’t feel like anything’s weakening,’ I observed, as I felt him swelling between my thighs.

  ‘I’m not having sex in the training room in the middle of the day.’

  ‘You had sex on the terrace in the dark, I don’t really see the difference.’

  ‘Goddamn it woman, I didn’t expect one encounter to turn you into a full-on tiger overnight.’

  ‘I … I thought you wanted me,’ I uttered, suddenly feeling very confused.

  ‘I have a feeling I’ll always want you, Alex, but sex isn’t the only way to show feelings. Words and actions do that, too. The next time we have sex, I want to do it with my eyes open, to be able to take my time, show you all of the pleasures that it can bring, not just have a quickie on the floor when we’re at risk of any of my staff, or my daughter, running in to find us mid-act. Does that make sense?’

  ‘I guess.’ I lifted one shoulder and bit my lip in embarrassment as he brought my hands to his face and kissed both of my exposed wrists.

  ‘Saying no to you is harder than that punch you threw.’

  ‘Well that doesn’t say much, I hit like a girl,’ I replied with a roll of my eyes.

  ‘Not many people have knocked me off my feet, Alex. You’re a complete bloody distraction.’ He made me shiver as he tilted his chin a fraction to bring his lips against mine and kissed me. ‘We need to get back to training, before I forget everything I just said and take you right here.’

  ‘Does sexual training count?’ I asked, giggling as he groaned and kissed me again.

  ‘Up, now.’

  ‘Someone’s already very up,’ I reminded him, wriggling on his lap. Years of sex when I felt nothing but revulsion and pain, followed by years of abstinence, had left me tightly compressed, like a Jack-in-the-Box desperate to escape his bounds. And now I’d experienced what amazing sex could feel like, I wanted more.

  I squealed in shock as I was launched into the air and landed with a thud on my back, Castle doing some agile back flip to land on his feet like a cat, before he loomed over me.

  ‘Training,’ he said firmly as I looked up at him in shock. ‘You look over-heated, lose the damn T-shirt.’

  ‘I don’t want to,’ I replied, hastily tugging it down to make sure my stomach was covered.

  ‘I’ve already seen it, Alex,’ he gently reminded me.

  ‘So, I don’t want it exposed, to have to see your eyes wandering down there with pity in them.’ I scrambled back up, all sexual desire having left me in an instant.

  ‘There’s a solution, if you want it.’

  ‘What?’ I asked, taking the bait.

  ‘See the scar on my jaw that I did actually get from playing rugby?’

  ‘No,’ I replied, after studying both sides intently, there was a tiny sliver of skin on one side that wasn’t covered in his appealing late afternoon scruff, but no obvious scar.

  ‘That’s because I had laser treatment to get rid of it, and it was a bloody ug–’ he halted mid-word and ran his hand over his mouth.

  ‘A bloody ugly one?’ I folded my arms across my chest as anger flared in my veins. ‘Tell me about ugly scars, as I don’t really have any experience of them.’

  ‘I was young and vain, Alex. The point is, the treatment worked.’

  ‘If it was that good, then why do you still have that one?’ I asked, flicking my chin up in the direction of his temple.

  ‘I wear that one proudly, because it was given to me by my daughter. I sincerely hope that she’ll outlive me, but if the worst were to happen and I lost her, I’d still have a permanent reminder of her on me wherever I go.’

  ‘Like my penguin, like Bear,’ I said quietly, understanding of his reasoning settling in.

  ‘Exactly. You only have to say the word and when we return to London I can set you up with the specialist, but only do it because it matters to you. I can see past the scars to the incredible woman that bears them.’

  ‘How do you do that?’ I asked, gazing at him in amazement.

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Take me from mad, to hot, to insulted, then make me melt inside because you know just the right thing to say, all in the space of a few minutes.’

  ‘It’s a gift, one that’s taken many years to perfect,’ he smiled as he lifted his bandaged hands and started to dance around me on the balls of his feet. ‘Now, let’s get you back to mad, shall we?’

  Castle

  ‘Sit still for a minute will you,’ I warned Rosie as she wriggled with excitement on her stool, while I tried to brush her hair.

  ‘It’s dinner time. And Alex is coming.’

  ‘And you promised to be on your best behaviour,’ I reminded her. ‘No chewing with your mouth open, talking with your mouth full, or belching loudly then giggling.’

  ‘Or parping at the table,’ she reminded me.

  ‘No, no parping either please, and no endless stream of why, why, why questions.’

  ‘Why?’ she moaned. I sighed and rolled my eyes as she totally ignored my last request.

  ‘Because I said so. And no arguing when I tell you it’s bedtime, okay?’

  ‘I know, Daddy.’ She huffed out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes in response. I pressed my lips together in an attempt to hide my smile. I was going to have to watch my actions around her, she was copying everything that I did. ‘Can we go now?’

  ‘Let me finish your hair, don’t you want to look pretty for Alex?’

  ‘I am pretty,’ she replied, tossing me a “how stupid are you” look
.

  ‘You are, Angel.’

  ‘Is Alex your angel too?’

  ‘No, there’s only one angel and that’s you.’ I put down the brush, satisfied that her dark hair was brushed to within an inch of its life. It looked so glossy you could almost see your reflection in it. I’d put her in her favourite white sundress with yellow daisies around the hem, and she’d put on her yellow sandals to match.

  ‘I’m your gorgeous too,’ she reminded me.

  ‘You certainly are.’ I kissed the top of her head and checked my watch. It was five-fifty-nine. One minute to go.

  I ran my clammy palms over my black trousers. I hadn’t felt this nervous since I was holding Imogen’s hand waiting for Rosie to be delivered. I’d always said I wouldn’t let anyone meet her until I was sure they had a place in my life, a future with me. I just had to hope that my faith in Alex’s feelings for me, feelings she hadn’t even vocalised yet, was justified.

  ‘Come on, Daddy,’ Rosie called. I shook myself out of my thoughts to see she was waiting by the bedroom door, eager to get going. I couldn’t back out of this now if I wanted to. I was going to have one very unhappy little girl on my hands tonight if Alex had second thoughts and didn’t show up. A quick glance at my reflection in Rosie’s dressing table mirror, at my cerulean shirt, told me I’d pass muster. I held out my hand as I made my way to the door.

  ‘Let’s go, Angel.’

  ‘Yipeee!’ she cried, grabbing it and scampering at my side as we headed towards the stairs.

  When we walked into the dining room, Alex was standing with her back to us looking out at the myriad of hues of the magnificent sunset. She was in heels, which elongated her slender calves, and a sleeveless black dress that showed off her toned shoulders, nipped in at her slim waist, then flared out at the knee. She was the perfect combination of elegant and sexy.

  ‘Alex,’ Rosie squealed, before I had a chance to announce our presence. She let go of my hand and hared across the room as Alex turned to smile at us both, then gasped and nearly fell over as she was cut off at the knees by a pint-sized ball of excitement.

  ‘Rosie,’ she laughed, putting both of her hands on the top of Rosie’s head as she beamed up at her. ‘How lovely to see you again. Where’s Bear tonight?’

  ‘It’s past his bedtime. He’s had a very busy day.’

  ‘That’s a shame, I was hoping to see him again too.’ She lifted her black-rimmed, stunning blue eyes to meet mine and gave me a heart-stopping smile before looking back down at my daughter.

  ‘You can come and read me a bedtime story and say goodnight to him then,’ Rosie told her.

  ‘Only if that’s okay with your dad.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ I confirmed, clearing my throat as I realised I’d barely croaked the words out. I hadn’t realised quite how important it was to me that they got on, until I saw them standing there together chatting like old friends. ‘It’s okay,’ I repeated. ‘If it’s okay with you?’

  ‘It is,’ Alex confirmed, smiling at me again.

  ‘Yay,’ Rosie cried, letting go of her, and grabbing her hand instead. ‘Come on, I’m hungry. Let’s eat.’

  ‘I hope you’re hungry,’ I said to Alex as I pulled out the chair to my right for her. ‘Sarah went a bit overboard with the menu when she heard you were joining us both.’

  ‘I’m starving,’ she confirmed. ‘Is this seat for me?’

  ‘Yes,’ I replied, as Rosie exclaimed ‘No.’

  ‘Okay, now I’m confused,’ Alex laughed as she bounced her gaze between us.

  ‘I want Alex to sit by me,’ Rosie moaned.

  ‘Well, I wanted her to sit by me,’ I replied, determined not to be overruled by a six-year-old.

  ‘How about I sit in the middle of you both?’ she suggested. I looked at Rosie who gave me a happy nod of approval and we took our places.

  ‘Are you Daddy’s girlfriend,’ Rosie asked, making Alex choke on the sip of water she’d just taken.

  ‘Rosie, what did I tell you about questions,’ I reminded her.

  ‘No, why, why, why. I didn’t ask why,’ she replied. Damn it, she was a wily one. I was torn between being proud, and mortified at what else might come out of her mouth. ‘Are you his girlfriend, Alex?’

  ‘I … I don’t know, we haven’t really labelled our relationship,’ Alex answered, looking at me for help. I sat back in my chair and ran the side of my index finger across my mouth to cover my smile. It made a change for me not to be at the end of the awkward questions. ‘How would you feel if I was?’

  ‘Happy. Daddy was very sad when mummy left. I want him to be happy too.’

  ‘He deserves to be happy, he’s a very special man,’ Alex added, as I felt my chest tighten to think that no matter how hard I’d tried to pretend I was fine in those early days, my daughter had sensed my pain. I was supposed to protect her from it.

  ‘I love you, Daddy,’ Rosie called, blowing me a kiss. I pretended to catch it and blew her one back.

  ‘I love you, too, Angel.’

  I was barely able to eat any of the delicious looking five-course meal Sarah had cooked for us. I couldn’t take my eyes off the two of them together. I’d never seen Alex so relaxed, or Rosie so happy as she chattered ten to the dozen, determined to fill Alex in on every aspect of her life, before she was sent to bed.

  I felt like I’d reached a turning point in my life, like I’d been missing a piece of the jigsaw that mapped out my future, obscuring it from view. But now, it had slotted into place and suddenly everything had become clear. There was only one thing that could unravel the pieces.

  Richard bloody King.

  ‘Sleep now, Angel, that’s enough storytelling,’ I warned her as she begged Alex for another chapter.

  ‘Please!’ She pulled her famous pout and Alex giggled as she looked over at me.

  ‘No,’ I said firmly. It was well past her bedtime and she’d monopolised Alex all night, it was time I got to monopolise her. Preferably with my lips all over her body.

  ‘I feel sick, Daddy,’ Rosie whined.

  ‘I’m not surprised, you ate two whole chocolate brownies with ice cream after a very large dinner.’

  ‘But they were yummy,’ she said, trying to stifle a yawn.

  ‘Very yummy,’ Alex agreed. ‘Goodnight, Rosie.’

  ‘Kiss.’ Rosie pursed her lips and held her arms up for a hug. I smiled and shook my head, wondering why I’d been so worried that she wouldn’t get on with Alex. She got on with everyone. Alex leaned in to kiss her and gave her a tight lingering hug and I frowned as I noticed she had tears in her eyes.

  ‘Okay?’ I mouthed as she sat up and forced a smile onto her face.

  ‘Yes, I’ll leave you alone to say goodnight to her.’

  ‘Wait for me in the lounge,’ I ordered.

  ‘Okay.’

  My eyes tracked her to the door and I heard Rosie giggle behind me as it closed.

  ‘You fancy Alex, you fancy Alex,’ she sang.

  ‘I certainly do,’ I agreed as I looked down at her and tucked the sheet around her. ‘You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, but I happen to think that Alex is the most beautiful woman. Now, light off and eyes shut, young lady.’

  ‘Is Alex having a sleep over?’

  ‘No, Angel. I’ll walk her home and see if she wants to join us for dinner tomorrow, okay?’

  My response was met with a vigorous nod.

  ‘Sorry to keep you waiting.’ I walked into the lounge to find Alex looking at the photos on the stone mantelpiece above the open fireplace. Sarah had hidden all evidence of Rosie each time that Alex had visited, but replaced everything now that I’d come clean. There was one photo on there of Rosie and me with Imogen, and for a moment I felt a rush of guilt. I blew out a slow breath, reminding myself that there was nothing wrong with trying to move on.

  ‘I can see where Rosie gets her looks from. Your wife was beautiful, Castle.’

  ‘She was. Thank you for tonight,’ I rep
lied, quickly moving the conversation on.

  ‘For what?’ Alex asked, nodding her head as I held up my bottle of brandy. I pulled two glasses down off the shelf and poured a good measure into each of them.

  ‘Putting up with her endless questions and entertaining her. She adores you.’

  ‘The feeling’s mutual, and I enjoyed spending time with her. She’s a breath of fresh air.’

  ‘Why were you upset when you said goodnight to her?’ I asked, wondering if that bastard had got her pregnant and she’d lost it after he’d beaten her. I handed her the brandy, feeling my skin prickle to life as our fingers brushed.

  ‘I always dreamed I’d get married and start a family, but life had other plans for me,’ she shrugged with a sad smile, then sipped some of her drink.

  ‘You’re still young enough, Alex. It’s not a dream that’s out of reach.’ I went to sit down on the sofa and gestured for her to join me.

  ‘I guess.’ She took another sip and set her glass on the table as she twisted on her seat to face me. ‘Are we going to have sex now?’

  ‘Jesus,’ I laughed, wiping away the brandy I’d just sprayed all over my chin, as I set my glass down. ‘Sometimes you’re pretty blunt, you know.’

  ‘I asked Sarah for some condoms as I know you were worried. I don’t really like them, but if you want to wear one I have them in my purse.’

  ‘Sex isn’t something you plan in fine detail, it just happens, naturally.’

  ‘But how do you know when it will happen?’ she asked with a frown.

  ‘You don’t. This is one of those areas where it’s better if you don’t have a picture painted and just go with the flow.’

  ‘But I liked it when you painted the picture the first night you kissed me.’

  ‘Because you knew what was coming, or because it turns you on to hear what I want to do to you?’ I twisted to face her, one leg bent up on the sofa.

  ‘Both,’ she answered.

  ‘Would it turn you on if I told you that right now I want to take off your dress, lie you down, then pour brandy onto your breasts so I can lick and suck it all off?’