by Rita Hestand
"We'll make a stop in another town to get one. I want them to understand you are white. And I want them to treat you right, that's all." He told her.
"But it doesn't matter what I wear, I'll still be me." She told him.
He sighed heavily. "Forget it, you don't have to." He turned away.
"I'll wear it— for you."
He whirled around to look at her.
"I've never had a white woman's dress, not since I was six." She told him, trying to smile.
A slow burning smile edged across his face, "You'll need two, one to wear there, and another for the dance they'll have on Saturday."
"Dance?" she questioned.
"Don't you think that's a little too much?" she frowned. "I'm not going to be there for dancing. Besides, I have never been to a white man's dance either."
"Maybe it's time you have," he watched her every move now. "Men are much more considerate to a beautiful woman. And besides, I'd like to waltz you in the moonlight."
"Aiden, this won't work," she pleaded.
"It won't hurt to try, Lucy." He said softly. "You're a beautiful young woman, I'd like to show them that."
"Me?" she shrieked.
He came up to her now and lifted her chin with the curl of one finger, staring into her eyes, her soul. "You."
"Can you dance?" she asked.
"I manage pretty well, I'm told." He grinned.
"Well, I can't. I won't fit in there."
"You don't have to fit in. Just be there with me, let me hold you and waltz you around the floor. Let me treat you like the lady I know you are. Let me kiss you in the moonlight…"
"Aiden?" she gasped.
"Every girl should be kissed in the moonlight," He smiled gently at her now.
"Have you kissed many?" she asked with a smirk.
"Dozens… " his grin grew when she looked a bit stunned.
Seeing the reflection of a tear, he pulled her into his arms, and stared down into her pale face. "But none of them kiss like you… " he murmured. Slowly he tipped her chin up, his head bent, and his lips touched hers, like a feather blowing across her lips. His mustache and shadow tickled her cheek, stroking her cheek. He heard her slight gasp, just before he kissed her for all she was worth. It was breathtaking, soft and sensual in the same breath. It stole her heart, and she answered him with a response she didn't know she had in her. This kiss was achingly sweet. Her heart began to throb, her mind went blank save for him. It wasn't bold and wild like the other kisses, but soft and sweet and the kind a girl dreams of. She let him lead her, as this was one kiss she didn't want to end. The kiss went on and on, and she moaned deep down in her throat at its sweetness.
But he pulled away breathless and panting. "You're one hellova woman Lucy, and I want to show that to you. I want you to go down there with your head held high. With confidence. And show them what you are made of."
"Why?" she asked simply.
"Because I know who you are. But they don't. And it's time they did."
"Why'd you kiss me like that?" she was breathless still from the kiss, her breathing erratic, her heart pounding.
"Because I enjoy kissing you, honey. Now get some sleep. And don't ever think you're not as much a woman as any I've ever known."
He grinned at her.
She smiled shyly at him and escaped to her blanket to dream of that kiss once more.
Claw Hand never kissed her like that. He always pecked her on the cheek. She tried to compare Claw Hand to Aiden, but they didn't compare. Claw Hand was a sweet, and unassuming man. He never took anything from her, but always gave.
But Aiden had matured, and he was worldlier than she realized. He could manipulate her any way he wanted, and he knew it. And yet his kisses were as gentle as a soft rain.
When he saw her staring, he smiled. "Goodnight sweetheart."
Why did he say such beautiful things to her? Things that made her heart leap, her mind reach out for him.
She drifted off to sleep before she realized it.
The next morning Aiden was up and checking the weather from the barrel he'd drove into the entrance wall.
"It's stopped snowing, but we'll have to dig out of here when we leave."
"Are we leaving today?" she asked making the coffee.
"No, not yet. The temperature hasn't risen enough yet. We aren't in any rush, none of us. I don't see any reason to try to leave yet. It's still very cold out there, probably below any scale. Too easy to get frostbite. We'll hold up a bit longer. We've plenty of food, and supplies."
"You're the boss." She shrugged.
"Is it getting to you?"
"What?" she glanced at him.
Bad choice, he looked devastatingly handsome this morning.
"Staying inside?"
"No, I'm fine." She told him.
"You forget I know you too well," he came up and kissed her on the ear. "You've got the cabin fever. But it will only be a few more days."
"Days?" she protested.
He smiled beguilingly at her. "Days."
She put some fatback in the small pan and began to cook it.
The smell rousted the others.
Aiden fed and watered the horses.
Lucy realized she thought differently of Aiden now. She had to find a way to act normal around him. She couldn't be swooning every time he walked into a room, although her heartbeat always quickened when she looked at him.
His mastery of the kiss made her way too aware of him. She wished on one hand he'd never kissed her, and on the other that he'd take her and make her his.
But maybe now that he knew what had happened, he wouldn't want her. She'd heard that men no longer wanted women who'd been tainted like that.
It was nonsense, her mind seemed to slap her back to reality. Aiden wasn't a man to take a woman. He had control, something she lacked.
Was he romancing her to get her to comply with the army? No, he wouldn’t do that. But he couldn't possibly have feelings for her, could he?
No, that was her dream, not his! And she had to remember that.
Aiden had always flirted with her, it was his way. But now that she had grown up, she was taking it seriously. She couldn't do that. He'd always been charming to her, sweet. She just let herself dream a bit too much was all.
Dancing how silly!
She needed to stay where she belonged. But then truth be told, she didn't know where she belonged any longer. Especially since she'd left the tribe. She missed Yellow Deer, but she wished he would see his son as what he was.
Still a small part of her wanted to find out what the white world would be like.
What was hard, was separating Aiden's genuine nature to be kind and loving, from falling in love with him. He came from another world, the white world, where she really didn't belong.
She was tarnished now, and he knew it and it would put a gap in their relationship. He would feel nothing but pity for her. Something she never wanted from him.
Remembering that would be hard in the days to come.
She had to be stronger than she'd ever been, for her own sake, and for Aiden.
Chapter Twelve
On the last day, the men dug out the entrance of the cave and ventured out to check the weather and surroundings.
It left Gloria, Pumpkin, and Lucy to clean up the breakfast dishes.
"What was it like falling in love with your husband?"
Gloria turned to Lucy in surprise. "Well I, … I'd just lost my husband, I was pregnant and felt so alone. But Frank was there for me all the way. He was so gentle, so kind, so understanding. He helped me with the funeral and visited me every day. He brought flowers and we took long walks. Then finally one day he kissed me. Our first kiss. I remember I was swept off my feet by it. Naturally, I wasn't expecting it. I hadn't been thinking of him as a suitor, but as a friend. That kiss changed my mind. My first husband wasn't exactly a romantic kind of man, but he was a very good man. Frank was too. He woed me for weeks."
"How long had you known him?"
"Oh well, Frank and I were friends for years. He was my husband's friend too. He told me later he'd always secretly admired me, but because he and Boyd were such good friends, he'd never take an advantage. I respected him for that. He really woed me after Boyd died. When he asked me to marry, I was stunned? But rather pleased too. I wanted to tell him about my pregnancy, but he confided in me when we became engaged that he would prefer not to have any children. I was in love with him by then and didn't know what to do. So, I kept quiet, until I couldn't any longer. He accepted it calmly and told me he'd always stand by me. But it changed our relationship, he became more distant. He treated me well, I'll admit, and he still kissed me but for a while, afterwards we didn't make love. One, he was afraid he'd hurt me, two, he lost the desire, I think. It was the lie between us that changed things. He didn't want to come on this trip, but he wouldn't let me go alone."
"Did your heart feel as though it might burst when he kissed you?"
"Actually," she smiled now, in remembrance, "yes, it did." They giggled together.
"He's been very supportive of you. You must be terribly in love."
Gloria blushed, "More than I first realized, Lucy. He stuck by me. He held me when I needed him, he was there, and even though I've lost my little girl, he's promised we could try to have another. For him to compromise like that, just for me, it meant so much to me. I never thought he would go that far to please me, but he has. I'm just now finding out what a really good man he is."
Lucy took her hands and held them, "I'm so happy for you."
"And you, are you in love?"
"Me? In love?"
"I've seen how Aiden looks at you." Gloria smiled at her. "And you've already said you loved him… "
"Aiden and I don't live in the same world though." Lucy hung her head. "He wants me to go to the fort with him."
"Well isn't that a good thing?"
"I don't know. It is to meet with the Colonel and Major there. They want me to persuade my people to stop making raids and stay on the reservation."
"Will your people do that?"
"I don't know. This land here was promised to us. Now the settlers are trying to move in, they want to cut down the trees. Before long they will come and want our land too. And we will be moved again, each time to a place that is worse, I've seen this happen. When your government finds something, they want on the Indian lands, they simply move us to another place, not a better place, but a place where we can't grow crops, we can't find buffalo, where we could easily starve. How can I convince my people to agree to this when your government lies so? So, I am not looking forward to going, but I promised Aiden. So, I will go."
"You can't change all of that Lucy, can you?"
"No, I can only speak to them and ask them to obey the whites. They will not like it. The young people of my village want war. It is part of why Aiden and I cannot be together."
"I see. All you can do is try. But I think there is more between you and Aiden than this talk of war. How long have you known him?"
Lucy's eyes took on a faraway look. "He came with a French trapper the first time I met him. I was ten, already adapted to the Indian way of life. He taught me to read and write that summer he stayed in our camp. I fell in love with him then, and that has never changed. Even though I've not seen him in a long while. Every time I do, my heart flutters. I try not to love him, but it has never worked. There will always be something between us."
"How old was he?"
"He was fifteen when he first came to our camp."
"He taught me a lot and I owe him so much."
"When did you see him next?'
"When I was sixteen. My father and I were trapped, my father had stepped in an old bear trap and we took refuge in another cave, much like this one. But I didn't know what to do. I couldn’t' carry him back to camp and so I doctored him the best I could. I thought I'd wait it out for someone to find us. Aiden found us."
"What happened."
"Aiden happened. There he was grown and handsome as ever. And I knew I loved him then. He took my father back to camp and me and for the first time. And then he kissed me. I'd never been kissed."
"He must have made quite an impression."
"A silly girls' impression, yes."
"Love isn't silly, Lucy, it's wonderful."
"He wants me to dress like a white woman, so the people won't make fun of me at the fort."
"That might not be a bad idea. After all, you are white. What's wrong with that? I can help you with that."
"I fear I am crossing a line that I may never cross back to. The Indians have been good to me, all my life, I love them. But I also ache to know the white world too. There is so much I could learn"
"You are white Lucy. Is it fair to turn your back on that side of you because the Indians raised you?"
"I don't know."
"Then, listen to your heart Lucy. You've had some life, and there's more to come, embrace it."
"I have always loved Aiden, but I fear his feelings for me are pity not love."
"You are braver than I have ever been. How can he pity that? When you are in love, it doesn't matter what world you live in. Look at Angus and Pumpkin, they love each other and she's an Indian and he's a white. They are happy. And it shows. I've envied them, they are so close."
"Angus is a trapper, and many trappers marry Indians and it usually works out well. Trappers seldom get to civilization, they seldom see a white woman. It is natural to mate and the Indians and trappers live a lot alike. But Angus and Pumpkin have a very good relationship, so open and honest."
"You can have that too!"
"I love Aiden, but I do not know if he really loves me like I do him. And I would never force the issue on him." Lucy confessed.
"Then make it work, if you love him." Gloria put her hand on hers and smiled as the men came back inside.
The men came back and glanced at them.
"We'll be leaving tomorrow. Angus and Pumpkin are coming with us to the fort." Aiden announced.
But that night they had killed a couple of wild turkeys and were roasting them and as they sat around the fire enjoying it, they heard it.
It was a loud screeching sound of a mountain lion, and it was just above them.
Gloria reached for Frank. Pumpkin's eyes widened.
Angus and Aiden went on alert.
"Cougar," they both shouted at the same time.
"My Lord, what next?" Gloria gasped.
Frank pulled Gloria to him.
"Easy now, he won't come in, he's waiting until we come out." Aiden told them.
"What are we going to do?" Gloria asked, her voice shaken and weak.
"We'll wait him out, for a while. If he doesn't give up, then we'll have to figure something else out." Angus told her. "We'll have to outsmart him. There will be no going outside for a while. There are things to remember about a Cougar, never stoop or squat in front of him, it gives him strength to see you lower than him. Never run, he'll outrun you, and he is capable of jumping from high places. They are very strong animals, they reach for the neck to puncture it for the kill. So, guard yourself, but right now, no one goes out. We need time to figure out how to outsmart him."
"Then how will we ever escape him?"
"We probably won't. We'll have to out think him. And I'm afraid we'll have to kill him. Unless he gets distracted. He knows we are here, and he knows this is his territory."
"Why is he just now here?" Gloria asked. "We've been here many days now. Why has he just now shown up?"
"They have a big territory usually, could be twenty miles of territory. They move about and mark all their territory. The only time they share is during mating season." Aiden told them.
"We were going to leave tomorrow, but, not with him so close and us without some kind of plan." Angus told them.
"You're going to out think a Cougar?" Frank asked, with interest.
"We're going to try, yes." Aiden repl
ied. "We have no choice, we can't stay here forever."
"I guess you're right about that." Frank agreed.
"If I had my traps, he'd be gone by tomorrow," Angus told them.
"Can you make a trap for him?" Lucy asked.
"Don't have nothing to make with. Takes iron to make a trap for a Cougar." Angus explained.
"Well, you downed a bear, surely you can do the same with this Cougar?" Frank assumed.
"No, a cat is different." Aiden told him quickly. "A cat is more cunning than a bear. A bear uses scare tactics purely from the fact that he's bigger. A Cougar is fast and can jump from anywhere. He knows exactly where to attack from and how. He seems to have a mind, as he plots his kills."
"Then how will we ever get out of here?" Gloria wailed.
Pumpkin put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and Gloria smiled at her.
"Sometimes you can walk right past them and nothing happens. But this one is defending his territory. Those screams he makes is to warn us to get out, this is his land."
"My God, an animal can't think!" Gloria pouted.
"They can scheme and plot to kill, they have that instinct." Aiden told her. "He might get distracted and leave, if he does, so will we."
"But he can smell those horses in there, and he'd kill them if he could get to them." Angus told them.
"We'll never get out of this cave," Gloria wailed once more.
"Yes, we will. We do have more thinking power than he does. We'll get out, but it might be a spur of the moment thing, so we need all of you to be ready to leave at a moment's notice."
Lucy nodded.
"Why can't you simply shoot him," Gloria asked.
"Because he'd jump us before we could cock the gun and aim it. And we'd be dead." Aiden told her.
All that day the cat screeched and hollered, reminding them of his presence. Gloria would nearly jump out of her skin and even Pumpkin was uneasy.
Angus explained to Aiden, "Her daddy was kilt by a Cougar. They were hunting him, and he was perched on a high tree waiting for them. He jumped down on Bold Knife, killed him instantly, he didn't have a chance to fight back."
"No wonder she's shook up."
"Yeah, she's got a fear of those cats." Angus nodded.