Eldorado

by Yvonne Whittal

  Gina was as impatient and anxious to reach Eldorado as she had been to leave it three weeks ago. She had to see Jarvis; she had to talk to him, and she had to convince him that a divorce would not be the solution to their problems. She would never forgive herself if she was the cause of Jarvis relinquishing his right to his family home. Eldorado belonged in the Cain family; it belonged to Jarvis, and she would do anything to see that it remained that way.

  The drive from the farm to Johannesburg had seldom taken more than an hour, but on that particular night it seemed to take an eternity before the familiar city lights beckoned her in the distance. Yet another eternity seemed to elapse before the Alfa sped up Eldorado's long drive, but Gina was suffering from an unexpected attack of nerves when she got out of her car and carried her suitcase up the shallow steps to the front door.

  The lights were on in the hall, and her hand was trembling when she inserted her key in the lock and went inside. She paused at the foot of the staircase with its carved wooden balustrade and quietly put down her suitcase to glance about her. Eldorado. It was a beautiful old house that needed to be lived in and laughed in, but Evelyn Cain had foolishly made it a prison from which there would be no escape unless Jarvis forfeited his right to his inheritance, and he had obviously been driven to choose the latter.

  No! She could not allow him to go through with this crazy decision to end their marriage. Eldorado belonged to Jarvis, and her own feelings were of no consequence in this absurd and unbearable situation. She loved him, and she knew now that she loved him enough to do anything and everything within her power to see to it that the home Jarvis loved remained in his possession.

  Gina's heart was beating so hard and fast it seemed to her that the heavy thuds were echoing throughout the hall, and she placed a trembling hand against her breast in a conscious desire to steady it. Where was Jarvis? Was he at home, or was he perhaps spending the night with Lilian?

  A door opened and closed in the silent house, and Gina spun round with a nervous jerk as if someone had unexpectedly cracked a whip directly behind her, but it was Rosie emerging from the kitchen with a tray on which there was a large flask of coffee and a plate of sandwiches. Rosie halted abruptly in her stride when she saw Gina, and her welcoming smile almost split her face in two.

  'I'm so glad you're back, Missus Gina.'

  'Thank you, Rose.' Gina forced her unwilling lips into an answering smile and she gestured towards the tray in Rosie's hands. 'Is that for Master Jarvis?'

  'Yes, Missus Gina,' Rosie answered politely, allowing Gina to take the tray from her. 'The master is in the study.'

  'Thank you, Rosie, you may go.'

  Rosie scuttled away into the kitchen, and Gina squared her shoulders, bracing herself for this meeting with Jarvis. What was she going to say to him? Dear heaven, she had been too shocked by Harold Ashton's disclosure to formulate a plan of action. Her only thought had been to get to Jarvis as soon as possible to dissuade him from taking a step that she knew he would regret for the rest of his life.

  The study door was closed, and Gina felt her nerves knotting painfully at the pit of her stomach. She was scared, there was no other word to explain how she felt at that moment, but she had to go into that study to face Jarvis. She balanced the tray carefully on one hand and, taking a deep, steadying breath, she knocked and went inside.

  The study was in darkness except for the soft, warm glow of the fire burning in the grate, and her heart lurched in her breast at the sight of him standing with his back to the door. His hands were gripping the mantelpiece built over the stone fire-place, and his wide shoulders were oddly hunched beneath his grey woollen sweater. She had always admired him for his seemingly inexhaustible vitality and strength, but at that moment he was projecting an unfamiliar image of tiredness and dejection, and Gina's compassionate, loving heart ached for him.

  'You can leave the tray on the desk, Rosie, and that will be all for this evening, thank you,' he said without turning, and that husky, weary note in his voice made her want to weep for him.

  Her hands were shaking uncontrollably and, afraid she might drop the tray, she placed it quickly on the cluttered desk before she straightened and turned to stare at his formidable back.

  'It isn't Rosie,' she corrected him, swallowing convulsively to ease that uncomfortable lump out of her throat, and a wave of shock washed over her when he spun round to face her.

  'Gina!'

  Her name seemed to be wrung from him in a hoarse, incredulous whisper that made her throat tighten mercilessly when their glances met and held for tense, interminable seconds.

  CHAPTER TEN

  'Gina!' Jarvis repeated her name in an unfamiliar, husky whisper as if he were attempting to convince himself of her presence in his study. 'What are you doing here?'

  His dark hair lay in untidy strands across his broad forehead as an indication that his fingers had, uncharacteristically, combed through it several times, and his steel-grey eyes glittered strangely in a face that was gaunt and oddly white in the dim light of the fire. Concern rose like a tidal wave inside her, and she knew an impulsive desire to rush to his side, but her control did not falter—she dared not let it.

  'You appear to be surprised to see me,' she remarked with a calmness that belied the turmoil inside her while he continued to stare at her intently as if she were an apparition instead of a solid reality.

  'I had no idea what length of time you intended to stay on the farm, and when I didn't hear from you during these past three weeks I thought—'

  'You thought I'd decided to walk out on our marriage agreement?' Gina filled in for him quietly when he broke off in mid-sentence and gestured oddly with his hands.

  His mouth tightened into a grim line and, for the second time since knowing Jarvis, she saw him take a packet of cigarettes off the mantelpiece, and light one.

  'We have to talk, Georgina,' he announced, inhaling deeply and allowing the smoke to jet from his nostrils to add a devilish touch to his appearance.

  'That's why I'm here, Jarvis. I don't—'

  'Before you say anything,' he interrupted her brusquely, his eyes narrowing as she took off her fleece-lined jacket and moved closer to the crackling fire in the grate to warm herself, 'I want you to know that I've done exactly as you suggested in that letter you left me. I've been doing a lot of thinking these past weeks, and I've decided that there's only one thing to do.'

  'And that is?' Her voice cracked as something close to fear clutched at her throat. Would she be capable of making him change his mind, or would he insist on a divorce and rob her of the opportunity she needed so desperately to win his love?

  'I'm going to give you your freedom, Gina.' Harold Ashton had prepared her for this, but Jarvis's words fell like drops of iced water which fed directly into her bloodstream. 'I know it's what you want and, quite frankly, I want it as well.'

  Gina's mind told her that the sensible thing to do would be to accept his statement without argument, but her heart was not in agreement. They both had too much to lose if they went ahead and ended their marriage. She tried to read Jarvis's expression, but he turned away from her to stare at the flames leaping high in the grate. He had become cold and unapproachable, his distant manner making them strangers rather than the lovers they had been during the past months. Gina shivered violently despite the warmth emanating from the fire, and the mechanism of her mind started to grind slowly back into circulation.

  'You do realise that if you give me my freedom, you will lose Eldorado?' she questioned him tentatively, wondering whether she ought to tell him that Harold Ashton had warned her of his intentions, but she decided against it.

  'I'm well aware of the fact that I shall lose Eldorado!' came the harsh reply, and he drew hard on his half-smoked cigarette before he flung the remainder into the fire. 'I've spoken to Harold Ashton, and have instructed him to go ahead and arrange a divorce. It shouldn't be a long-drawn-out business, since we'll both agree to it. They'll require our signa
tures on paper, and one of us may have to make a brief appearance in court, but that will be all.'

  It all sounded so orderly and so terribly easy, but nothing, it seemed, would ever dull the pain inside her. Gina pulled herself together with an effort. She must not think only of herself. She had to think of Jarvis, and what he would be deprived of if she agreed with this decision to terminate their marriage before the twelve months had expired.

  'I don't want a divorce, Jarvis,' she stated firmly, but inwardly quaking. 'Not yet, anyway,' she added hastily.

  'I beg your pardon?' He turned to stare at her with an incredulous look on his face, and she could not withstand the probing intensity of his glance. 'What did you say?'

  'I said I don't want a divorce. Our marriage may have been perpetrated for all the wrong reasons, and I may have been hurt and angry many times, but I'm not going to let you go through with your decision to divorce me. This house is big enough to accommodate two people without the need for us to get in each other's way unnecessarily. You could always pretend I'm not here, and you could come and go as you please, but I—' Her mouth felt horribly dry, and she swallowed nervously. 'I could never take from you the only thing you've ever really loved.'

  The atmosphere was strained almost to breaking point during the ensuing silence, and Gina lowered herself into the leather armchair in front of the fire when her trembling legs would no longer carry her weight. She raised her glance at length, but the plea in her eyes was lost on Jarvis while he stared fixedly beyond her into the shadowy corner of the room.

  'I used to love this old house. It was solid and dependable, it would always be there as my refuge, and it would never let me down.' He spoke slowly, and his words sounded faintly slurred as if he was speaking his thoughts aloud without actually being aware of it. 'A relationship between a man and a woman might falter and die as a result of our fickle emotions, but I used to believe my love for Eldorado would survive any crisis.'

  Gina stared up at him confusedly, incapable of dragging her eyes from the attractive though gaunt planes and hollows of his features accentuated by the glow of the fire. 'Why are you speaking in the past tense?' she asked.

  'Because that is the past, Gina. During these past weeks of soul-searching I've finally allowed myself to face the truth, and the truth is that Eldorado means nothing to me without—' He broke off abruptly, his face hardening into that familiar, impenetrable mask, and he turned to gesture towards the tray on the desk. 'Rosie has prepared enough sandwiches to feed an army, and there's plenty of coffee in the flask, if you'd like to join me.'

  How could he think of eating and drinking at a moment like this? How could he be so cool and sensible when she was almost frantic with the desire to know what lay behind his oddly disjointed statement?

  'I'll have a cup of coffee, thank you.' She accepted his offer with a hint of growing impatience in her voice.

  Jarvis poured coffee into the cup for Gina, and his own into the mug attached to the flask. Gina's glance was troubled as she stared at those strong, slender-fingered hands which had caressed her so often, and so intimately. She had a feeling that she had missed something vital, but her mind was temporarily too numb to find what she was looking for.

  'How's the family?' Jarvis questioned her conversationally when he joined her beside the fire with a sandwich in one hand and his coffee in the other, and his cold, aloof manner made her want to weep like a child for something which she could sense was slipping far beyond her reach.

  'They're fine—just fine,' she managed, getting a mental grip on herself. 'I've just remembered that I promised to give them a call to let them know I'd arrived safely.'

  Jarvis gestured without speaking towards the telephone on his cluttered desk, and Gina put down her cup before she rose from her chair to make the call.

  It was Susan who answered the telephone, and they spoke very briefly, but before Gina could ring off, Susan said: 'Remember, Gina, if everything else fails, try seduction.'

  'I'll remember that,' Gina promised, her soft mouth curving in a wry smile as she replaced the receiver.

  Seduction. She cast a quick glance at Jarvis, and decided against it. Seduction was not the remedy for the problem confronting her, and there was absolutely no point in attempting to seduce a man who held himself so rigidly aloof from her.

  She returned to her chair in front of the fire, and they lapsed into a conversation of platitudes that made her want to scream to ease the tension within her. She wanted to touch him, she wanted her love for him to flow from her fingertips while it dared not flow from her lips, and she needed to feel the strength of his arms about her. But instead they sat facing each other across a mental chasm, conversing like polite strangers.

  'Jarvis… I meant what I said about not divorcing you and allowing you to forfeit your right to Eldorado.' She attempted to steer the conversation towards the important issues.

  'If you don't mind, Georgina, I've had an extremely heavy day and I'm tired.' His cold voice chilled her to the marrow. 'I suggest we go to bed and sleep on it, and it's possible you might feel differently about it in the morning when we resume this discussion.'

  'If—if that's what you want,' she agreed reluctantly, but her mind was not ready to retire for the night. She wanted to thrash this matter out between them, she wanted to know where she stood, but Jarvis's manner remained totally forbidding.

  Gina picked up her jacket and preceded him out of the study. He switched off the lights in the hall and carried her suitcase up to the master bedroom for her where he placed it at the foot of the magnificent four-poster bed. Their eyes met when he straightened, and Gina trembled expectantly. She willed him silently to touch her and hold her, but he had become as immovable as the wall behind him. For one crazy moment, however, she thought she had glimpsed that familiar flicker of desire in his eyes, but it was gone so swiftly that it was possible she could have imagined it. An invisible barrier had risen between them to make him completely unapproachable, and it aroused her frustration and anger.

  'Goodnight, Gina.' his abrupt voice intruded on her thoughts, and she was astounded when he walked out of the room and closed the door firmly behind him.

  She heard him entering the room across the passage, and a wave of cold desolation swept through her to leave her shivering as if she had been dumped in a bath of icy water. She had been so close to him moments ago, and yet so far removed that they might have been standing at the opposite ends of the earth. Gina blamed no one but herself for the present situation, and she was blinded by tears when she knelt on the carpeted floor to fumble with the catches of her suitcase until they clicked open.

  She undressed and went through her usual nightly ritual before she got into bed, but she could not sleep. She was shivering with the cold beneath the blankets, and she had never felt more lonely. Her tormented mind launched a replay of every word they had said to each other in the study. It was as if it wanted to drive that painful sword deeper into her battered soul, and she encountered again the curious sensation that she was overlooking something of vital importance. What was if. The answer continued to elude her, and her mind stubbornly refused to let the matter rest there. It deciphered, dissected, and discarded every fragment of their conversation that evening until she felt certain she would go mad. On and on it went, for almost two hours… and then, at last, she knew! She had asked Jarvis why he had spoken in the past tense, and he had said that it was the past. Eldorado meant nothing to him without… Without what? Or was it whom!

  Gina sat up in the darkness, and her hands clutched agitatedly at the sheets. Was it possible that during these past weeks of soul-searching he had realised that Lilian meant more to him than Eldorado? Had he found that not being free to see Lilian whenever he wished was too high a price to pay? Or could he have meant… Gina went cold and hot alternately as a result of the trend of her thoughts. She had to know! It was vitally important! Was it Lilian he loved more than Eldorado? Or was it… herself?

  She d
id not care how late it was, and neither did she care at that moment whether Jarvis was asleep or awake. She jumped out of bed without bothering to switch on the lights and stormed out of Eldorado's master bedroom and into the room across the passage.

  'Jarvis?' His name passed her lips in an anxious cry as she padded barefoot across the carpeted floor of the darkened room. The bed creaked beneath her weight when she knelt beside Jarvis to take him determinedly by the shoulders. 'Jarvis, are you awake?' she whispered urgently, shaking him.

  'What?' He had not been asleep, she was convinced of that when he flung out an arm to switch on the bedside light. The glare hurt her eyes for a moment as she sat back on her heels to stare into his angry face. 'For God's sake, Gina, what do you want?' he demanded harshly.

  'I want to talk to you! I've got to talk to you! You said that—that Eldorado meant nothing to you without—' Her mouth felt dry, and she swallowed nervously while she directed her gaze at his broad chest with its mat of dark hair. 'Without whom, Jarvis? Lilian?'

  'Lilian?' The blankets slid down to his lean hips as he raised himself up against the pillows and stared back at her with a look of incredulous anger in his steel-grey eyes. 'Lilian's husband left her a wealthy widow with a business to run, and I was appointed as her legal adviser.'

  'Are you asking me to—to believe you never had an affair with her?'

  'I'm not asking you to believe anything. I'm telling you that my relationship with Lilian has been purely business since the day I married you,' he replied in the cold, distant voice that chilled her. 'The last time I saw her was more than three weeks ago when I found her waiting for me in the corridor of the Supreme Court, and we had lunch together at my request. I instructed her to appoint someone else as her legal adviser, and I also made it quite clear to her that I wanted her out of my life, and yours in particular.'