Peace of Her Heart

by Lyndie Strawbridge

  He stood and took her hand, then led her through the restaurant and out into the parking lot, manicured and landscaped. The security lamps twinkled on the shiny roofs of the luxury cars parked in front. There were only a few left so late into the night. Nick and Maddie crossed the lot and meandered to Nick’s tidy white BMW. She gazed up at the moon.

  “Take me home, call me tomorrow. That is what you are supposed to do,” she finally said, her voice stark in the quiet parking lot. “But it’s not very romantic, is it?” she asked, turning to look up at him, rotating the sharp heels of her shoes against the pavement. The crunching of the metal tips against the gravel rang loud in the night.

  “Well, then, what would be romantic?” Nick mused, stepping back from her, folding his arms across his chest. He leaned against his car. “Would staying out all night be romantic? Lying on a quilt on the golf course, talking until the sun came up? That sounds like it would fit the bill, doesn’t it?” he asked. Maddie smiled a little and looked down at her shoes, grinding the heel of her shoe wistfully into the pebbles. She raised her eyes and gave him her best smoldering look, pursing her lips just a little, holding her lashes low across her gaze.

  “But Maddie, that kind of romance isn’t real. It’s manufactured,” Nick said, giving his head a little shake. He tilted his chin up a little and his eyes wandered through the air above her head. “It’s like a performance that one person is putting on for the other person. If I say, ‘Let’s walk the golf course tonight’ and I bring a picnic basket with wine and a blanket and I orchestrate for us to doze off in each others’ arms…well, it’s all fake, because I planned for it all to go exactly that way.” Maddie turned her gaze away from him, pondering the wheel-well of the slick white car. “Maybe I’m not making sense, but I’d prefer romantic things to happen spontaneously than to be so contrived. That over-the-top romance stuff—it’s just not my style,” he finished.

  “But you’re wrong, though,” Maddie answered timidly, after a long pause in which she counted the lug nuts on the tire four times. “You say it’s about the guy manipulating the girl into seeing mirages, and you say it like it’s a bad thing. Maybe the girl wants to be manipulated a little sometimes, because it’s awesome to have somebody make something magical for you.” The words sounded dumb in her ears. She dropped her eyes and stared at Nick’s wristwatch. It was large and heavy-looking, some kind of silver. She felt insecure and suddenly decided that her little gray dress was a bit more revealing than she’d realized; she wished she had a sweater, even though it was a hot July night. She folded her arms across her chest and ran her palms up and down the backs of her own arms, trying to warm them.

  “Interesting,” Nick finally said.

  She took a few steps toward him and leaned next to him against the car.

  “Hey, don’t look so sad,” Nick said. “I may not have a picnic basket full of romance in the trunk, but I do have a bottle of bourbon.” He pushed away from the car and walked around to the back of it, opening the trunk, rooting around under the mat, and producing a bottle of bourbon. “Have a swig. You’ll feel better,” he said, as he twisted open the cap and handed the little bottle to her. It was a stately little bottle, with a regal emblem.

  After they had each taken a little swig, Nick said, “Hey, get in the car, I’m going to pull it over to the end of the parking lot, over there, underneath the trees. We’ll sit and listen to some music and stare out at the water hazard and drink. What do you say?”

  “Okay,” Maddie answered weakly as she took the bottle in her hand and turned up a second little gulp. They both got in the car and Nick drove it over to the edge of the parking lot, where she could see a pond glimmering in the near distance. The trees that overhung the spot made it dark and shadowy in the car. “But how will you drive us home?” she asked Nick as he took a gulp from the bottle of bourbon.

  “I’ll either wait until I’m sober again, or we’ll just leave the car here and sleep at my dad’s house,” Nick answered with a slight grimace as his stomach reacted to the alcohol.

  “Where does your dad live?” Maddie asked, confused.

  “Across the golf course,” Nick said, looking at Maddie sideways with a twinkle in his eye. “Will staggering drunk across the golf course in the middle of the night do? It’s not quite the same as falling asleep on it all romantically,” he teased.

  “No, it’s not the same at all,” Maddie laughed, the bourbon growing hot in her belly. “But actually, now that I think about it, I guess the end result of us passing out drunk on the golf course would be the same result as us going to sleep on it: dozens of bug bites in the morning.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Nick said, swallowing another sip and offering the bottle back to Maddie. She took a few determined gulps and felt her esophagus and stomach burn.

  They sat quietly for a few moments and passed the bottle back and forth. Maddie’s vision began to slip a little, and she waved the bottle away. Nick capped it and slung it in the back seat. He reached out and tapped the volume controls on the stereo, turning the car into a gently thrumming orb of music. Maddie didn’t know the band, but it was a song with layered guitars that made her think of the stars. She looked through the windshield, up at the stars twinkling, luxuriating in the music that seemed to complement the moment so perfectly.

  “Maddie, tell me what you’re looking for in a guy,” Nick asked, as he thumbed the car’s stereo, lowering the volume. “Because in all honesty, I’ve got to tell you that I’m confused. You date Raffie and now you’re here with me. We couldn’t be more different, he and I, despite the fact that his dad lives across the golf course, too.” Nick swiveled his head and gave Maddie a meaningful look. “If that guy ever made you think he came from humble roots, he lied.”

  Maddie looked away from Nick’s face and out through the glass, into the night. “Why am I not surprised,” she said sourly. She thought of Raffie’s romance with Clover. He’d lain beneath the stars with Clover, giving them names and telling tales of undying love. It was exactly what he’d done when he’d romanced Maddie.

  She flopped her head to the side and eyed Nick, who himself seemed lost in thought, tracing his finger along the contour of the steering wheel. “Do you know the names of the stars?” she asked quietly. She shut her eyes against the drunken, twirling interior of the car and listened, knowing Nick would somehow name the stars and it would be the perfect thing. After a moment, she heard him shift in his seat. She peeped her eyes open again, and willed the world to be still. It complied.

  Nick pressed a switch and the sunroof slid open. “I don’t know many,” he said. “I know the basic constellations: Big Dipper, Little Dipper. Cassiopeia.” He twisted and pointed up, and Maddie watched his face. “There’s Cassiopeia. It’s the chain of stars that looks like a letter W. It’s named after mythology, of course. A beautiful queen who was so vain that the gods decided to kill her daughter, Andromeda, or something like that.” He shook his head a little, and Maddie knew him well enough by now to tell from his face that he was frustrated about not remembering the story more clearly. Her lips curled into a lazy smile as he said, “And then, basically, that’s where the movie Clash of the Titans picks up. Cassiopeia is Andromeda’s mother. Andromeda is the one that Harry Hamlin is trying to save.”

  “Who is Harry Hamlin?” Maddie asked absently, watching Nick’s lips move.

  “He’s the guy who plays the main guy in Clash of the Titans,” Nick answered. He looked down into her face and said, “I don’t know why I can remember his name but not the character’s name. I try to remember everything about everything, but I just can’t. Maybe if I hadn’t had been drinking.”

  “I love that movie. The little mechanical owl? He’s adorable,” Maddie smiled up at Nick. “I didn’t like the remake so much,” she murmured, shifting in her seat so that her face was closer to his. The console bruised her ribs and she didn’t care. “I like it that you know so much stuff,” she purred.

  “I like telling
you stuff,” Nick said, turning in his seat and slipping his hand through her hair as he brought her face even closer to his, their eyes so close that Maddie couldn’t focus. He gently pressed his lips against hers. Her mind began to race, and her modesty seemed to vanish into the darkness. She twisted her body more toward his, wrenching her knee free from beneath the glove compartment and trying to climb into his lap. She wanted, suddenly and more than anything, to be as close to him as she could possibly get.

  “Hold on,” he breathed, as he reached down between his legs and pulled the release on the seat. It slid backward and Maddie jostled herself into the driver’s seat, straddling Nick, looking down at him and grabbing his face in her palms. His hands fumbled with a second release handle and the driver’s seat glided down into a partial recline.

  And then they were kissing and his hands were on her, slipping beneath her dress—the delicate grey dress with the blue piping that had called to her like a siren in the store—and sliding across her tummy and up her ribs to her bra, which he didn’t bother to unfasten. He pulled it aside and palmed her breasts. Maddie’s mind was gone; it its place was only Id, and so she reciprocated, sliding her hands beneath his shirt, feeling his body, which was significantly more manly than she’d ever had the opportunity to touch before.

  She indulged in feeling his chest for a long moment before she was startled by his hands finding her crotch. He pushed her panties to the side and probed her damp body with his hand. She sunk down onto him, and there, in the parking lot of the clubhouse restaurant, she let Nick touch her in ways that made her realize that she’d lived so far without yet having good sex.

  ♥♥♥

  “He’s not even here,” Nick said an hour later as he eased the white BMW into the driveway of his father’s house, having decided he was too tipsy to drive farther than a block or two. The car fell silent as he turned the key, and Maddie stepped out onto the stone driveway. She could hear nothing but the sound of their footsteps and the monotonous buzzing of the streetlights.

  Nick opened the door to the house and she stepped into the shadowy foyer, looking overhead at the ornate light fixture fifteen feet above her. He threw his keys down on a little gilded entry table with a glass top and a flower arrangement.

  They climbed the winding staircase and went down a short hallway to a set of double-doors. Nick opened one of the doors—dark wood and engraved with curlicues and flourishes—and flicked on the lights, revealing a sizeable bedroom with an attached sitting area, and a doorway that opened into a bathroom. Maddie stood there for a moment as he turned on a couple of lamps before throwing himself down on his back across the bed.

  “Come on in, Maddie. Nobody is going to bother us. We’re the only ones here,” he said, propping his head up a little. He watched as she took a few steps toward him and set her purse down next to a short bookshelf.

  “Is this your room?” she asked, taking in the floor-length heavy draperies embroidered with ornate stitchwork. They were very similar to the ones in his apartment.

  “Yeah, it is. I lived with my mom until high school, but then she got re-married and it was all about the new man and the new babies, and I thought it would be best for everyone over there if I made my exit.” He sat up and then crossed the room to give her a bear hug and spin her around a little. “So, yeah. This is my room. My room at my mom’s is full of Elmo dolls now.” He looked down at Maddie, ducking his face toward hers and giving her a little kiss. “It’s cool, though. Hey,” he said, “you should go on in there and take a shower. I’ll find you something to wear and get you a new toothbrush.” He released Maddie and crossed the room to a giant closet which he promptly disappeared into. She stood for a moment in deliberation before turning and entering the bathroom.

  It was large, and decorated in beige and gold, and had a shower and tub that were separate from each other. Towels hung from the racks, but to Maddie they looked too nice to dry off with. Besides, she thought, Nick doesn’t even live here anymore; those towels are probably dusty. But when she examined them, she found that they were not only dust-free but fresh-smelling, as if they’d only recently been hung. She opened the door to a large closet, expecting to find the ragged for-real-use towels. They weren’t there. Instead she found stacks of beige and gold towels identical to the ones hanging on the rack.

  In the shower, she hesitated before running her face under the spray, fearing how plain she looked without makeup. But when she noticed the bar of tomato-colored soap on the shower shelf—a bar of soap that she recognized as facial soap—she threw caution to the wind and lathered up.

  “It’ll only seem more dumb if I come out the shower still wearing eyeliner and blush and lipstick,” she whispered to herself.

  As she rinsed the professional-brand shampoo from her hair she heard a knock at the door, followed by the sound of the knob turning.

  “Maddie, I’m going to leave some things here for you, on the sink,” Nick called to her.

  “Okay,” she said, visions of him coming into the shower and having his way with her dancing through her head. He didn’t. She sighed and ran her face under the spray.

  When she stepped out of the shower onto the plush, cream-colored bathmat, she saw that Nick had indeed left some things for her on the counter. There was a glass of ice-water, a toothbrush still in the package, a t-shirt, a pair of boxer shorts, and a safety pin. She wrapped herself in the luxurious jumbo towel and considered the items while she opened the toothbrush box. She didn’t know what Nick had meant the safety pin for, but after she brushed her teeth and got dressed she used it to pin the boxer shorts so that they would fit her better.

  She regarded herself in the full-length mirror across the room. “I look like a girlfriend,” she whispered as she studied the plaid boxer shorts and the white t-shirt. For a moment she felt embarrassed that despite the t-shirt’s thickness, her nipples were still poking the material; but the longer she looked at herself, the more she decided that she actually looked pretty hot, in a college-girl sort of way, with her wet hair in a twist and her pokey nipples on-hard and her bare face looking playful.

  She took her glass of ice water and exited the bathroom to find Nick standing in the middle of the room with a towel around his waist. He was rubbing at his wet hair with another towel, and clicking a remote control with his free hand. She turned her gaze from him to the enormous television with difficulty; Nick had a great body, and he’d obviously sneaked off to some other bathroom to shower it. She felt a pang of lust and set her glass down on a side table before it slipped out of her weak grip. She slinked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his damp waist.

  “Hey,” he said, looking over his shoulder at her. “The satellite’s all messed up. It’ll take me a minute to fix it. Go ahead and get in bed,” he said as he tossed aside the towel he’d been rubbing his head with. Maddie turned and looked at the bed behind her. It was a king-sized bed made of heavy, dark wood and was dressed in a plush maroon set of sheets and bedspread. She turned back the sheets and said, “Do you have a side that you sleep on?” Nick was preoccupied and shook his head absently. Maddie decided to turn down both sides of the bed and get in the middle. That way, Nick could take whichever side he preferred.

  A moment later he joined her, taking the left side, but before he got into bed he tossed his bathtowel away. She got a quick look at his rear before he finished pulling on a pair of floppy pajama pants. A little thrill went up her spine followed by a rush of embarrassment. She snuggled down into the pillow as he flopped the blankets aside and got in bed.

  Her mild embarrassment faded almost immediately as he twisted and began fiddling with his pillows. He propped them and laid back on them. He sat forward again and flipped some of them and then tried them again. Then he squirmed around in them for what seemed like eternities, tossing the remote controls from hand to hand as he wriggled.

  “Good lord, what are you doing?” Maddie finally complained, bemusement in her voice.

  “If th
ey’re not perfect, I can’t really relax,” he explained. “Shut up,” he elaborated, as she began to laugh. He flung an arm around her shoulders and yanked her close to him. “I mean it, Maddie. Shut up or you’ll regret it,” he said, his fingers probing her ribs. It was excruciating. She burst out laughing, twisting to swat his tickling hand away. He grabbed her again but this time he dragged her to his special pillow arrangement and tugged her into his arms. Her laughter faded to the occasional giggle as she nuzzled against him.

  “This will do fine,” he murmured as he juggled the television remotes and chose one. He flicked the channels until he found a nature show prattling on about tropical fish. Maddie gazed at the fish as Nick stretched out an arm to turn off the lamp. In the dark, with only the glow from the enormous television, she was struck by a funny thought: this could be what a real relationship is like. Showers and soft beds and pleasant television shows and snuggles. It sounded boring but felt wonderful. She drifted off to sleep, enveloped in creature comforts, to the sound of Nick’s beating heart.

  Chapter 16

  “Oh, my god, so then what happened?” Karla squirmed with anticipation as Maddie told the story of her night with Nick. Clover’s big scary dog, Feral, laid on the front door mat, his pose casual but his eyes flicking this way and that. He was definitely no ordinary dog, and if he wasn’t a full wolf, he was at least partially one.

  “Well, after we did our thing in the parking lot, we went to his dad’s house. I took a shower in this incredible bathroom,” Maddie laughed. “I felt like Cleopatra. It was crazy. Rich people, oh my god!”

  “Was there, like, a bidet in there?” Karla tittered.

  “No, but everything was just very plush,” Maddie laughed. “And then we slept in his bed together, but it was just sleep. Then morning came, and he gave me this button-down to wear over my gray dress,” she gestured down at herself, “and he drove me home. That’s it,” she said with a little shrug. “He said he’d call.”