Waiting for Devon

by Dee Stewart

  Much later, Jack allowed Blair a brief visit with Devon but warned her not to upset his ex-wife.

  After sharing a hug, Blair commented, “Your ex is a bulldog.”

  “Too bad he didn’t care this much when I really needed him.”

  “How are you doing?” Blair sank into the seat vacated by Jack.

  “Not that well. Don’t tell Jack.”

  “Are you still planning to return to San Francisco?”

  Pain twisted Devon’s heart. “I don’t have a choice.”

  “Dev…”

  “No, don’t say his name. I broke his heart and confirmed his worst suspicion about me. I failed him, and he won’t forgive me. You should have seen the look in his eyes earlier today. He loathes me.”

  Blair did not deny it. “You’ll keep in touch with me, won’t you?”

  “Of course. We’re friends.”

  When Devon grew sleepy again, Blair left.

  The following morning Dr. Bailey announced Devon could be released from the hospital. Jack brought her fresh clothes from her luggage and her purse. Thankfully, nothing had been taken from it. She changed into jeans and a T-shirt and pulled open the curtain. “I’m ready, Jack.”

  He rested his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward a taxi waiting to transport them to the airport. While Devon’s release was being processed, Jack had been able to book the first available flight to San Francisco. When he reminded her on the plane they needed to have a serious discussion, Devon begged him to wait until she was settled at home. He honored her request, and they lapsed into silence during the rest of the flight.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Devon burst into hysterical tears as soon as Jack pulled into the driveway of her Victorian. Unable to move, she sat frozen until the storm passed and she composed herself. Jack waited for her and murmured soothing words of comfort, which surprised her. He’d never been prone to do so while they were married. When they stepped inside the cool interior, Devon declared all she wanted to do was take a shower and crawl into bed. Jack assured her he wouldn’t leave her alone as she slept.

  Disturbing nightmares plagued Devon. She dreamed she’d been sold on the black market to the highest bidder, not by Digger Sharpe but by Reed. He vowed to see her broken and humiliated for trying to bilk money from him and his family. When Inez and Téa lay on the dirty mattress with her in the tin shack as Reed live-streamed their helplessness on the internet, she screamed, “No! No! Please don’t do this to them, Reed! They’re innocent!” Reed’s evil laugh mocked her.

  As he held her during the worst of her nightmares, Jack cursed Reed for the hundredth time for being such a cold-hearted bastard. He couldn’t believe Barrington rejected Devon after she’d been rescued. Pity for his ex-wife prompted Jack to administer a mild sedative in order to keep her nightmares at bay. Afterward she slept peacefully for the next fourteen hours.

  Something jerked Devon awake out of a sound sleep. Fear seized her heart until she realized she was safe in her own bed in her home in San Francisco. As her heartbeat slowly returned to normal, tantalizing aromas teased her senses and aroused her hunger. She felt faint from it since she hadn’t eaten anything for several days. In the hospital they’d only given her fluids. Foregoing a shower, she slipped into a robe and padded in bare feet toward the kitchen. For a brief, crazy moment, she yearned for the man who whistled to be Reed.

  Instead, Jack grinned at her and said, “I cooked breakfast. I hope you’re hungry.”

  She gazed in wonder at the feast spread on the kitchen table. Scrambled eggs, bacon, French toast, a carafe of fresh orange juice and cups of steaming coffee beckoned her. Her stomach growled. “I am. Thank you, Jack.”

  Devon sat down next to him, and he served her a plate of food. She ate at a moderate pace to avoid getting sick and savored every bite. Though she and her ex-husband faced a tough conversation, she appreciated his effort to keep her mind off what happened to her in Dallas through lighthearted remarks about things that interested her. And then Jack won her gratitude even more when he told her what she wanted to hear the most. He was following her model in his management of the ER pediatric care unit.

  After they finished eating, Jack told Devon to lie down while he cleaned the kitchen. She carried a cup of coffee into the living room and curled up on the couch. When he joined her, she patted the cushion next to her.

  “I haven’t thanked you for saving my life. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if my not showing up in San Francisco or answering my phone hadn’t alerted you to the danger I faced. You have my eternal gratitude.”

  Devon half-expected Jack to come on strong and press her for a reconciliation, but he didn’t. He laid a hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I wish you hadn’t felt the need to get away from me. You have no idea how much I regret the way I acted when I saw you in your office almost five months ago. I don’t know what made me think I could impress you with a bunch of macho bullshit.”

  She offered a slight smile. “Your outrageous ego?”

  His lips turned up at the corners, and for a moment, it reminded Devon of why she found him attractive all those years ago and fell in love with him. Their eyes met, remembering. “Not anymore,” Jack assured her. “I’ve learned my lesson. If I hadn’t taken you by surprise that day, if I had forewarned you I was in town and wanted to see you, Shane Barrington wouldn’t have been able to drag you into his crazy, selfish scheme.”

  Devon’s eyes clouded as she gazed into her half-empty coffee cup. “And I wouldn’t have met Reed.”

  Jack made a face. “I know you’re in love with him, Dev, but the guy doesn’t deserve you.”

  “You don’t know him.”

  “Funny, that’s what he said. But I know how he acted when I was frantically searching for you. Like he didn’t give a damn.”

  Devon winced. Unbidden tears sprang into her eyes. “I hurt him. I betrayed his trust and don’t deserve his forgiveness.”

  “I disagree. His father and brother played with your life and hurt you both. Look, call Reed. Talk to him. Ask for his forgiveness and hear what he has to say. As I am asking for the same consideration.” Jack reached for her hand. “Forgive me, Devon. Please, I am begging you to forgive me.”

  She cried. She couldn’t help it. Jack draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. When she felt him shaking along with her, Devon glanced up in astonishment. Tears rolled down his cheeks. For the first time since she lost their baby, they cried together in mutual grief.

  In a tender gesture, she brushed away Jack’s tears and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

  He knew what she meant. “The miscarriage was never your fault, Devon. If I blamed you unconsciously or not, I am deeply sorry.”

  Devon drew a ragged breath. “We can move past our sorrow now, Jack. Do you intend to stay in San Francisco?”

  “Yes. You may be my ex, but you’re my only family. Besides, I love your job,” he teased.

  She chuckled a little, then frowned. “About that. What am I going to do?”

  “Oh, Jasper Barrington came through for you. He, uh, ordered Mr. Linhart to rehire you.”

  “So, we’ll be working together again?”

  “Yep. But with a difference. You lead and I’ll follow.”

  Devon studied him and her pain over losing Reed eased somewhat. Having Jack back in her life was perhaps a blessing after all. “What if we lead together?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I say we make SFGH the model for pediatric emergency care in the States.” Jack grinned and they clinked their coffee cups.

  After checking her cell phone every day for a week, hoping and praying to hear from Reed, it became obvious to Devon that he wanted nothing to do with her. When she couldn’t stop crying herself to sleep every night, she volunteered to work double shifts. She didn’t want to have time to dwell on everythi
ng she’d lost when she left Dallas.

  Although her friends at SFGH welcomed her return and refrained from asking her questions, Devon felt alienated from them. Only Jack gave her support when she needed it the most. He worked alongside her, and his presence offered silent comfort. More often than not they ate lunch and dinner together at the hospital, and when they weren’t working, he went over to her house and took care of odd jobs for her. Sometimes she cooked and other times they ordered take-out and watched mindless TV. Though Jack gazed at Devon with longing, he kept his distance and didn’t pressure her for more than friendship.

  When October arrived on the vibrant wings of fall, Devon experienced inexplicable lethargy and episodes of nausea. At first she assumed her symptoms were the result of working too hard, but after vomiting three mornings in a row, the truth struck her like lightning. She rushed into her den and examined the desk calendar. As she counted the days, Devon realized she couldn’t be wrong.

  “I’m pregnant,” she murmured. “I’m pregnant.” Her heart came alive, and her soul flooded with joy. Reed had not abandoned her nor left her desolate and alone. He had blessed her with the most precious gift anyone could give—a new life. Devon trembled with happiness. She was carrying Reed’s child and a part of him would be hers forever.

  Jack guessed Devon’s condition as soon as he saw her when she arrived at the hospital. He couldn’t mistake the warm glow in her eyes because it was the same expression he saw when she learned she was pregnant with their child.

  “Are you going to tell Barrington he’s about to become a father?”

  Devon sensed he kept his jealousy and sorrow at bay. “No, I’m not,” she answered as she perused a patient’s chart.

  “Don’t you think he has a right to know?” Jack pressed.

  “He doesn’t need to know at the moment. Please, Jack, don’t pressure me about this.”

  Jack respected her wishes and dropped the subject. She surprised him, however, when she asked him to accompany her to her first appointment with Dr. Warren, a well-known OB/GYN in the Bay area. The doctor confirmed the date of conception, and after a lengthy conference with Devon about her previous miscarriage, instructed her to limit herself to an eight-hour shift.

  Devon took special care of herself by starting on prenatal vitamins, eating as healthily and regularly as she could as long as her morning sickness lasted, and resting often. She also walked at a brisk pace in the coolness of the evening, either alone or with Jack when he wasn’t at the hospital, in order to stay in shape for the impending birth. Although Dr. Warren assured Devon there was no reason to believe she would miscarry again, the fear was always present, lying beneath the surface of her calm veneer. Most of the time she was able to control it, but as her pregnancy progressed, she prayed more often for the safety and health of her unborn child. Even though Jack took it upon himself to watch her every move, Devon didn’t mind. Nothing could mar her happiness.

  As the weeks passed, Devon scanned the newspaper for the slightest word about the Barringtons. Today, as she ate a turkey sandwich and a small salad in her kitchen, her effort was rewarded. A bold headline on page eight of the main section of the San Francisco Tribune announced the engagement of Blair Barrington to Antonio Gennaro and the engagement of Shane Barrington to Alana Turner. Photographs of both couples were included. Fortunately, the article made no mention of Devon and Shane’s previous ‘engagement.’ She suspected that was Jasper’s doing. It pleased her to also learn that Shane was now the CEO of Barrington Industries. So, Jasper had decided to step down and pass his legacy to his son.

  However, another picture caught her attention and brought immediate tears to her eyes. Reed stood smiling next to a tall, willowy blonde whose sultry beauty filled Devon with jealousy. The reporter speculated about a third Barrington engagement on the horizon. Devon stared for a long time at Reed’s beloved face. The black and white photo did not do him justice. And then she noticed his eyes. Devoid of any emotion despite his smile.

  Guilt swept through her. She did that to him.

  Devon had not spoken to any of the Barringtons since leaving Dallas, but she felt compelled to call Blair and offer her congratulations. Hoping Blair would be at the clinic, she called the landline. “Blair, it’s Devon.”

  “Oh, my God, Devon! Hi!”

  Devon hesitated as sorrow overwhelmed her. “I’m sorry for not calling sooner.”

  “It’s all right. I understand. We’re almost like sisters, remember? There isn’t anything you could do that I wouldn’t forgive.”

  “Thanks. You don’t know how much that means to me. I’m calling because I read about the double engagements in the newspaper. I’m delighted for both of you. Please tell Shane I’m thrilled that everything worked out for him.” She paused. “How are Inez, Téa, and little Rafael?”

  “They’re fine, but they really miss you. Everyone does. It’s not the same here without you. You were the heart and soul of this place.”

  Emotion choked Devon, and she swallowed the heavy lump in her throat. “How’s Reed?”

  Blair hesitated a minute or two before she answered. “He’s different.”

  “I need to know…did he ever read my letter?”

  “No. He ripped it into shreds.”

  Devon’s heart dropped into her stomach, and it clenched with pain. “Is he serious about the woman in the photo?”

  “Hardly. She’s his current flavor of the month,” Blair declared in disgust. “Next week he’ll be flaunting another woman. Lord knows, he’s been with four or five different women since you’ve been gone. I’ve lost count.”

  “Don’t,” Devon begged. “I don’t want to hear anymore.”

  “I don’t suppose you do. Of course, it’s not my place to tell you what to do, Devon, but you should have stayed and defended yourself, if nothing else. Running away made you a coward.”

  “I might have after Reed and Jack rescued me if he had given me the slightest bit of reassurance that he loved me. Instead, he sent me home with Jack.” Devon paused. “Do you think Reed will ever forgive me?”

  “Honestly? No,” Blair told her without mincing words. “You broke his heart as soon as he gave it to you, and you made a fool of him. You were right when you said he wouldn’t understand.”

  “You’re being very candid.” Devon’s chest tightened with remorse.

  “Shall I lie to you and fill you with false hope?”

  “No. Take care of yourself, Blair. I wish you and Tony a lifetime of joy.”

  “Thanks. And you? Are you reuniting with your ex?”

  “Oh, heavens, no. Jack’s been a shoulder to lean on, nothing more. I’m hopelessly in love with Reed. My heart belongs to him.”

  “I’ll remind him of it, Devon, from time to time. Maybe he’ll relent and forgive you. We’ll talk again soon, I hope.”

  “Of course. Goodbye, Blair.”

  Moments after she ended the call, Devon heard Jack’s familiar knock on her front door. As she admitted him, he noticed tears shining in her eyes. “Judging by the look on your face, I assume you saw the article about the Barringtons.”

  She pulled her sweater close around her body and nodded. “I did.”

  “For God’s sake, Dev, tell Barrington about his child. I don’t understand why you aren’t eager to do it.”

  “It’s complicated,” she hedged.

  “If you believe it’s going to somehow get less complicated, you’re deluding yourself,” Jack argued. “The longer you wait to tell him the harder it’s going to be.”

  “You don’t understand, Jack. I can’t tell him. Not now. It’s too soon.”

  Devon’s eyes met his and communicated her fear. Understanding dawned as Jack’s expression grew somber. The reason she hesitated became all too clear to him now, and he drew her into a warm embrace. “This child will survive, my love. You mustn’t lose faith. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or to him or her. I promise.”

  Day by day Devon blosso
med with her pregnancy. Her skin glowed with a healthy sheen, and her deep brown eyes shone with perpetual joy. She radiated such an air of peace that it permeated the atmosphere in the ER and affected everyone who worked closely with her. When Jack observed Devon treating the babies in emergency with tender, motherly concern, he fell in love with her all over again. He simply couldn’t help himself.

  On a cold evening toward the end of October when their shifts ended at the same time, Jack invited Devon to join him for dinner and a movie. They’d been so busy running the pediatric care unit that neither of them had any time for a social life. Devon accepted Jack’s invitation, and he looked forward to spending the evening with her.

  During their meal at her favorite steakhouse, Jack subtly courted Devon. In little ways he showed her how he had changed, how he wasn’t the same arrogant man who’d visited her months ago. He demonstrated gentleness and consideration, qualities he’d once disdained as weaknesses. Instead of monopolizing the conversation with talk of his accomplishments, Jack listened to Devon and focused on what they could achieve together in pediatric medicine. After dinner, he allowed her to choose the movie they attended at the theater, and later it seemed natural for him to drape his arm across her shoulders and draw her close as they strolled down the street.

  When they returned to Devon’s home, she offered him a cup of decaffeinated coffee and a slice of peach cobbler. While she was in the kitchen, Jack built a small fire to remove the chill from the room. Devon handed him the coffee and cobbler and settled next to him on the sofa.

  “Devon, I know you’re still in love with Reed Barrington. Maybe you always will be. But you must know how I feel about you. When we were married, I killed your feelings for me long before the miscarriage. Little by little, I saw it in your eyes and felt the distance between us when we made love. I was too involved in carving a niche for myself to give you the kind of love and attention you deserved. After the loss of our baby, it became easier to make the break that would have been inevitable anyway.”