The Wrong Side of Twenty-Five

by Dionne Abouelela

  I could feel my heart beating harder with each breath. My pulse pounded all the way to my temples and my breath started to get shallower. Chrome was my out. He was my safety, my get out of jail free card, and now, he was gone. If he had gone to the bathroom, I should have heard the door shut since it was next to me and the walls were only thin partitions, not actual plaster or drywall.

  “Calm down,” she said, soothingly. “He’s just outside looking at your car.”

  I turned around to see the hood raised and the driver’s side door open. I took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief before moving quickly back to the clock. We were running out of time. I really didn’t want to go back into the cabinet, but if the cabinet was the only way to get myself out of this mess, then I would gladly oblige.

  “Carl made you two extra pancakes. He put chocolate chip in these ones.”

  “Thanks Norma. I’m not sure I can eat right now. I think I’m feeling what one would describe as anxiety,” I said with short breaths.

  “I figured you would say something along those lines, which is why I had them packaged for you just in case you’re hiding out in Chrome’s cab for a few hours. I don’t want you to go hungry. People do stupid things and make bad choices when they’re hungry,” she said in a motherly tone that I wasn’t very familiar with.

  “Tell me about it. That’s probably why I punched Jersey in the face,” I replied.

  “No, Blossom. That wasn’t a bad choice, or stupid. That was the best thing any girl has ever done to that, that, well, I was going to say woman but I’ve never thought she qualified for a positive term relating to females.”

  We both laughed and stared out the glass windows lining the diner’s perpetually empty booths, watching the hood of my car and praying it would come down. Each tick from the typical white-faced clock that hung above the door drove me closer to the edge. This may be because there was another clock framed by half burnt out neon tubing above the cook’s window ticking just a quarter of a second behind the one over the door. The dual ticking felt like you were being assaulted by time, had time thrown in your face, and constantly reminded that seconds were passing you by. Maybe the dual second ticking was time’s way of laughing at me.

  The hood dropped down and I once again exhaled a deep sigh of relief. That deep sigh of relief would be how I would forever remember Kansas, the state that exceeded my expectations and not in a good way. Dorothy and the Yellow Brick Road let me down. Glenda the Good Witch was just a costume on a mannequin, and in my haste, I wound up here with the real Wicked Witch of the West.

  Chrome wiped his hands on a dirty rag and walked back up to the diner, shaking his head. He kept the rag wrapped around his hands and opened the door. This small gesture solidified I could trust him. Any man who keeps his dirt to himself and doesn’t put it on your front door is a man to have on your team. I wanted Chrome on my team, and, he could get me to Salt Lake City.

  “What’d you find?” Norma called as soon as the door cracked open one tiny inch.

  “It’s the damndest thing,” he replied. “Hold on, I’m going to wash my hands and I’ll be right back.”

  We waited two minutes and seventeen seconds by one clock, two minutes and sixteen and three-quarter seconds by the other clock. He walked back to us with the gate of a cowboy and the stature of a linebacker.

  “Well, what is it?” I asked impatiently, waiting to be hit with more bad news. What if Jeremy and Big Red had absolutely no idea what they were talking about? What if it’s worse? What if I need something ridiculously expensive like a whole new engine? Most importantly, why am I so worried? I’m leaving the car behind and hopping in Chrome’s cab to go west.

  “It was simple, really. The battery cables were removed.”

  I heard Norma sigh and I felt she would probably relate to my opinion of Kansas if she could ever get away herself.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, still looking at Norma and not Chrome. “Norma, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. You’ve been pale, sweaty, and fidgety all day. And you,” I pointed my finger at Chrome, “you need to explain what you mean about the battery cables. They said I needed an alternator and something else that I don’t understand.”

  Chrome joined in with the deep sighs. “Well, they lied, Blossom. That car is an old piece of shit, don’t get me wrong, but someone has been taking real good care of you. It’s obvious you know nothing about cars, but under that hood, it’s full of new parts. The battery date is only a month old, you’re full of new oil, everything that can be new is new, except the car.”

  “I still don’t understand. Are you saying that someone just removed the battery cables…and that’s it?”

  “They didn’t remove them,” he replied. “They just unhooked them from the battery. That would be enough to keep your car from starting. At first, I thought that maybe they took them off when they were looking for the problem. But the more I dug around, the more I could tell something wasn’t right. Someone has been taking real good care of you. There’s no reason for that car to not run. I hooked the cables back up and she started like a dream.”

  “He,” I said. “He started like a dream. Merle is his name.”

  Norma chuckled. “Chrome just told you that you’re free to go and your car is in good shape. All you got outta that is he called Merle a girl?”

  “Well, I guess not. But I need a minute to digest this. Are you saying someone purposely messed with my car, and if I wasn’t so stupid, I could have been out of here days ago?”

  A heavy silence filled the room. Chrome furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side. He watched Norma frantically wiping down the counter tops.

  “Norma, you know something,” Chrome said, breaking the awkward silence.

  “Look, guys, it’s nothing. The car is fixed, she can move on.”

  “No,” I interrupted. “You do know something, and I want answers.”

  Norma looked at the clock over the door then turned to look at the neon clock. I wasn’t sure why she double-checked the time unless that quarter of a second was really important.

  “Okay, listen. The club doesn’t do well when it’s just those three hooligans. Jeremy knows this, he isn’t stupid.” We all shook our heads in agreement. “He knows he needs fresh meat to get interest and raise sales. Sometimes, we get girls who stop by for a few nights to make some money. Those girls are strippers. We call them road poles. They travel around the country and guest at different clubs.”

  “Go on,” I urged. I looked over at Chrome who hadn’t touched his huge platter of food that took up three plates and two saucers. He was staring intently at Norma, fixated on every word coming out of his mouth.

  “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m going to be straight,” Norma started. “And, I don’t like Jeremy and I don’t agree with what he does. Normally, I just stay quiet because it’s best to not get involved. When a girl rolls through here on her own, about three out of four have car trouble and end up taking a few turns on the pole. The club gets busy, the girl gets mentally beaten down, and she works for a few months to pay her repair bill. At first, I thought this was just a coincidence that girls kept breaking down here. I was stupid. I didn’t pay attention. But, one day, I saw it.”

  “You saw what?” Chrome and I asked in unison.

  “Jeremy. He tipped the hood up, reached in and did something, and then walked away. When the girl went to her car, it wouldn’t start. Everything finally made sense. I felt so dirty, but it’s not my place to intervene. And, I can’t lie. When a new girl comes and those men get drunk, it means we have better sales and better sales means I might make better money. Extra money helps me pay for my grandkid’s Christmas presents and I sponsor a family for holiday meals through the city shelter.”

  I wanted to tell Norma it was extr
emely sweet of her to give her hard end money to someone less fortunate, especially when she could probably use those free holiday meals. But, I couldn’t. I just sat there, numb.

  I finally spoke up and had to choke out the words. “Norma, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I wanted to, but I don’t know exactly what they do. I just know Jeremy and Red split the repair fee. It’s some sort of business. I don’t know cars. Like I said, I don’t agree with what they do, but what’s my place? I don’t know what he’s capable of. I am just trying to keep my peace and my job.”

  “Have you told any of the other girls?” Chrome asked.

  Norma fell silent. Her left hand began trembling and the coffee inside of the carafe started to slosh. “No,” she whispered. “I never said a word. I would give them a free breakfast or dinner every now and then, make sure they had a safe place here, but that’s all I felt I could do. And believe me, it was hard. The girls who left here were not the same girls that came in. Doing that, it changes you,” she exhaled.

  “No shit,” I said. “Yes, it does. If you’ve never told anyone else, Norma, why me?”

  She didn’t waste time; she already knew her reasons. “Well, you were just so damn broken. You weren’t like the other girls, you weren’t running for adventure, you were running for hope. I don’t know. I guess you just kind of reminded me of my daughter before she passed away.”

  “Well, Norma, that was an honorable thing to do and we both give you our thoughts for your daughter,” Chrome said. I was glad he spoke; I’m not sure I could find the words. “Okay, ladies. We need a plan. Those two should be back soon, right Norma?”

  “Right,” she replied, still shaken.

  “She can’t go before they get back. You will get put in danger and things will look suspicious. Plus, they know her car. She can only get so far and I bet they can catch up. This is what I propose. Blossom, you need to go hide out in my cab. Like I said, there’s a bunk that’s out of view. There’s a TV, the cab has wifi, you can take a nap, whatever. Tonight, when the club is busy, you make a run for freedom. You leave my cab, you don’t stop to say anything to anyone, including us, and you get in that car and you drive as far as you can.”

  “Okay, that sounds like a good plan. But, I owe you both so much. I have to be able to repay you somehow.”

  “No,” Norma said. “You don’t owe us anything. You just get in that car and you go. And you keep going, and you make something of yourself Blossom.”

  The diner fell silent. Norma stood still; her trembles quieted along with the sloshing coffee. Carl rested against the cook’s window, listening intently to our conversation, despite me never seeing him or realizing he was a part of the diner. Chrome was having an internal conversation, shaking his head in agreement mouthing words none of us could hear.

  “You had better get to moving,” Carl said, finally breaking the silence. “I don’t want to be here when they get back and find you sitting here. We gotta wash those dishes, and Chrome, you gotta be back here eating off of your dishes. Come on now, hurry along.”

  Carl was right and we all nodded our heads in a silent thank you for being the voice of reason and pulling us from our deep freeze. Chrome and I headed towards his glittery purple over-the-top cab, and Norma bustled around the diner to wash my dishes. Chrome showed me how to work all the gadgets inside the upper bunk. His truck was absolutely amazing, and I was in awe that his cab was nicer than my house. Well, Mom’s trailer. It’s no longer mine. One day, my house would have all the bells and whistles this semi has in one small bunk.

  We set an alarm just in case I fell into a deep sleep. The sheets on the bunk were extremely smooth and cold to the touch. Chrome said they were 1500 thread count Egyptian Cotton, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. He showed me how to work the wifi and turned the tv to the History Channel before I settled in.

  “Hey, Chrome. If I don’t get to see you before I get out of here, I just want to say thank you. You’re a real stand up guy, you know? I have always been afraid of truckers. I always thought they were someone you couldn’t trust, someone who would rob you blind or grab your boobs if you closed your eyes. I was wrong, and I have you to thank for that.”

  “That’s real sweet of you, Blossom,” he replied. “You know, those guys in there might seem gross to a young lady like yourself, but when you’re on the road, by yourself with no other human company for days, sometimes weeks, on end, places like that are the places that welcome you with open arms. Those guys can’t just walk in anywhere and sit down without being judged. I can guarantee you that every man in that room would have done the same if they knew the truth. But, now that I know, I’m going to do my part.”

  “What’s your part?” I asked.

  “You’ll just have to wait and see. Now, I need to get back to my food and try to calm Norma down. We need to look cool and collected when those fools get back.” He turned and slid out of the cab. I bent down and watched him do his cowboy walk back in to the diner, settle down on the barstool and take a large bite of hash browns at the same time Jeremy’s car sped into the parking lot, throwing up dust when he whipped in to a parking spot next to Merle.

  I pulled my head up quickly, reminded myself that I couldn’t be seen, and opened the tablet Chrome had given me to use. I logged in to my e-mail and hit the button to compose a new message. This message was addressed to my buddy back in St. Louis, Tyler.

  I wasn’t sure how to sum this up for Tyler, and I knew he would be worried sick after he read it. Since Jersey had also managed to burn my cell phone, which I left on the floorboards, I wasn’t sure if he tried to call me. Probably not, he didn’t really have a reason to, but I just had to tell someone. And so I started to type.

  Dear Tyler:

  You are not going to believe this shit.

  A faint buzzing stirred me from my sleep. I was extremely thankful Chrome had the foresight to set an alarm. His bed was heavenly. The sheets were the perfect weight to lay lightly on your body and allow air to reach you but at the same time, give your body a comforting hug.

  Note to self: never buy WorldMart Bed-N-A-Bag sets again. Find those Egyptian Cotton sheets.

  I gingerly slid off the top bunk and looked out the front window. The parking lot was halfway full but I didn’t see a real human anywhere. I felt a sense of ease. I didn’t have a knot in my stomach, which I took to be a good sign. I tucked the bed sheet back into place, hoping this would be a sign of thanks that Chrome would understand.

  Note to self: Send Chrome a thank you and send Norma a postcard under a nom de plume.

  Note to self: Create a nom de plume.

  The well-oiled door opened without a sound, not that a tiny creak would matter. I wasn’t trying to be quiet, I was trying to be quick. My feet hit the dirty gravel ground and I wasted no time. I took off running to my car. I propelled myself forward by dreaming I was an Olympian and my car was my record-breaking gold medal. My keys were in my hand and I fiddled with the door while catching my breath. I took a quick glance over my right shoulder, through the dirty glass windows, right to Norma, behind that counter, pouring coffee, and watching me. She gave me a nod and I returned the gesture. I wanted to take it one step further, make a heart out of my hands or do a close fisted double tap on my chest, but to be honest, neither of us had time to be sloppy.

  I slid into Merle, recognizing familiar comfort in his slightly uneven driver’s seat. His stale air still carried the scent of plastic bags — those same plastic bags whose ashes I was about to run over. Those same plastic bags that infiltrated my nostrils and encouraged me to lay down the pile of vomit I had just eagerly stood on to unlock the door — it was dried by now but it was definitely still there.

  Merle started up like a dream. He didn’t catch, he didn’t hiccup, he just turned over and eagerly went into reverse. We lig
htly touched that gravel parking lot for the last time. I did as Chrome and Norma said and left my lights off. I would turn them on when I hit the on-ramp. And, like they said, once I hit the on ramp, I planned to keep going and never, ever, ever look back.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I unraveled the list Tyler had written down in that coffee shop, safely hidden inside of my glove box that only opened if you hit the front cover just right. I wish I could be sitting in any coffee shop with Tyler right now. I really just needed someone to laugh with. That night in St. Louis felt like ages ago. I wonder if we would have wrote my stops out differently if we could have known what lay ahead, just a few hundred miles down the road.

  The past few days had been hard, but truthfully, I’m not sure I would change anything. Of course, I’m not happy I strutted down a stage with stickers on my breasts and let toothless men shove dollar bills into the elastic waste band of my undies. But, something happened to me in there, something I’m not sure would have happened anywhere else. Something unraveled and grew from the twisted twine inside of my body. I feel stronger, I feel more aware, and most importantly, I feel completely in charge of my future.

  According to the list, I was now at my next stop in Lucas, well, my second next stop. I missed something he noted as ‘Little Sweden’. The writing was smeared from a liquid drop, most likely a tear. I looked at the edges of the newly formed blob and found the edges beautiful. The blue ink had somehow created a light pink, violet, and indigo puddle softly wrinkling over my to-do list. I found myself oddly comforted by the reminder that pain brings beauty when it’s all settled and done.