by A. L. Zaun
"Lighten up, asshole. I was meditating. Madison suggested I take up yoga. She says it'll help me relax," I fucking lied my ass off to Chris.
"Don't tell me that. Please. I can't handle two of my friends turning into pussies."
"I'm very secure in my masculinity. Trust me, I've never had any complaints."
"What's up with Madison? First the X-rated show at Martini Bar and now yoga?"
"Chris, has anyone ever told you that you're an ass wipe?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, but only my close friends."
"So, who's the other pussy?" I asked.
"I'm ready to buy Lucas a box of tampons."
I could tell Chris was jealous. Hell, I was jealous, too. That motherfucker wasn't a pussy. He just had access to mine, and it was starting to fucking piss me off.
After the game, the guys suggested that we head over to Titanic for a beer. Even though I hadn't obtained any new information on Daniela, I was up for a celebratory drink. I'd found enormous pleasure in bodychecking Liam and knocking his ass to the floor. After the second time, Chris and Wyatt had to hold Liam back. I'd acted like I didn't know why he was so pissed off. After all, I hadn't played in years. I'd loved every second of it. That motherfucker had my girl, so this was war. He just didn't know it.
As we were leaving the gym, I overheard Liam talking on his phone.
"Hey, baby," Liam said. "Yeah, we just finished. We're going to get a beer. I'll be over in about an hour. Okay, see you then."
I saw red. I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Fuck! I hated that he was talking to her and that he was going to fucking see her. Fuck!
I needed to get my shit together. This was exactly what Madison told me I couldn't do. I walked outside to put some distance between me and that motherfucker, and surprisingly, the cool night air was relaxing.
Everyone else came out, and we met down the street to Titanic. We found a table in the back. I ordered the first round of drinks. I figured it would be my peace offering. Yeah, I don't even believe that one. I was going to drink only one beer. That was another thing Madison had been harping on me about. She'd said I had to cut back on my liquor. This advice had come from the manager of a bar. It was laughable. According to Madison, my overindulgence in alcohol wasn't attractive. I was going to have to check her references.
She was trying to turn me into a fucking choirboy. I wasn't sure if I could trust her. This might be her way of getting me back for fucking turning her on the other day. I knew she wouldn't admit it to me, but I was pretty sure that she'd played with herself when she'd gone back to her office. I really had to be careful with her. Payback was a bitch, or maybe in this case, it came in the form of Madison Stuart. I couldn't argue with the fact that I'd been sleeping better since I started reducing my consumption of alcohol. I was still in a fucking bad mood though.
I blamed one person for my mood, and it was the asshole with a damned smile on his fucking face sitting across from me. What does she see in him? I was a big enough man to admit that if Daniela was not blinded by her infatuation with the son of a bitch, I would consider him a good guy. At the end of the day, I was a fair person and a good judge of character. Liam Lucas was not a bad guy. He was just in my fucking way, plain and simple.
The only things I'd learned during tonight's basketball game was that Liam had gotten pissed off after two bodychecks and that he had not connected me to Daniela. As I was pondering all these things, he got up. That was my cue. I knew where he was headed.
"See you around," I said to him.
"Take it easy," he responded.
The only thing I was going to take easily was Daniela away from him. I followed him out of the parking lot. This was easier than I'd thought. He was barely in the car for five minutes.
Shit, I can't fucking believe where Daniela lives. Of course, she lives in these little townhouses. The damned thing is pink.
I kept driving on Ponce De Leon Blvd. then turned on Suarez, and pulled around. I sat in the dark. I had sunk to a new low. I was a stalker. I just wanted to see her and then I'd leave.
Seeing her jump into his arms was like a knife to my heart. Fuck!
I pulled out my cell phone and dialed. "Madison," I said before she could even say anything, "We need to kick this into high gear." I was desperate. I needed to get her back. "Fuck, he has my fucking life!" I yelled, frustrated.
"Hon, we'll get your girl back. Spill," she said.
So, I did. Maybe it was a mistake. I didn't know. Seeing Daniela last Saturday and then watching her jump—she fucking jumped—into that fucker's arms became more than I could handle.
She was supposed to jump into my arms. She was supposed to lie on the couch next to me as she read her porn, getting horny, while I watched my movies and played with her tits. She was supposed to laugh at my jokes and be my biggest cheerleader. She was supposed to be with me, not him. I pounded my steering wheel, turned on my car, and drove home.
I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. I saw the way she would tilt her head to the side as she would listen to me. I saw the way she would laugh at my jokes. She was fucking haunting me.
I barely knew Madison, but I found myself turning to her in my crisis. I was desperate, and I needed her advice and help. I did feel a slight bit of guilt for being such a motherfucker to her when we'd first met. I considered being nice to her. After all, she was putting up with my shit.
One time, I'd asked her why she was being so cool with me. Her response had been classic.
"Rick, you have got to be the biggest asshole I've ever met. I consider it my civic duty and privilege to smack some sense into you. The fact that you're volunteering just makes it sweet."
The bitch actually enjoyed watching me have a breakdown. I was out of other options though, so Madison would have to do.
Happy hour on a Friday was not the best time to insist on talking to Madison, but I really needed to get my head together and figure out my next step. The bar was crowded, but we had already established that I was a selfish bastard.
Pulling out my phone, I sent her a text.
Rick: I'm here.
Maddy: So?
Rick: I need to see you.
Maddy: I'm busy.
Rick: This is important.
Maddy: Take a number.
Rick: I'm number 1.
Maddy: Not.
I walked up to the bar and saw Bruce. I was about to order a drink, but then Madison's whiney voice popped into my head, reminding me to cut back on my drinking. I was being a jerk. Madison didn't have a whiney voice, but when it popped in my head, it was whiney and annoying.
Instead, I asked Bruce where she was. Bruce was ever so helpful.
He just said, "She's around."
I rolled my eyes and pushed back from the bar. Madison definitely needs to send this asshole to a customer-service seminar.
I sent her another text.
Rick: Stop ignoring me.
Maddy: That would mean you were important.
Rick: You know you can't stop thinking about me.
Maddy: Keep telling yourself that.
Rick: I'm at the bar. Don't make me wait.
Maddy: I'm at work. Go to hell.
Rick: Bruce is serving me. I'm already there.
I didn't know if this was a little game of cat and mouse or if she was really busy. I called Bruce over and ordered a light beer. I figured that anything with light in its name didn't count as a real drink. I sat back and got comfortable.
After a while, I knew she was playing games. There was no way she wouldn't be on the floor or near the bar. She had what I needed, and I was desperate enough to wait.
Sitting at the bar, I was plotting out my next step when I felt an arm come around my shoulder.
"You made me wait," I said, looking straight ahead.
"I was busy. You need to learn respect," she replied with a quick squeeze. She tugged at me. "Come on, let's go talk in my office."
I got up and
gave Bruce a fuck-you glare. I placed my hand on the small of Madison's back as I followed her to her office. She immediately sat behind her desk and began typing on her computer.
Looking straight at me, she reclined, twirling her fingers. "I thought it would be important to do a little research to see what you're going up against," she said, almost as though she did this type of thing on a regular basis. "I did a few Internet searches and pulled up your competition, Liam Lucas. I'm looking at a picture of him," she said with a lustful grin. "Did you know he was in the firefighter calendar last year? Shit, I would love for him to climb me like a ladder and hose down my fire."
"Maddy, whose team are you on here?" I asked impatiently.
"Ricky, I'm Team Rick all the way. Don't let your inner chick surface right now, okay? You're tall and nicely built with an ass that screams 'grab me.' You have a dimple that's disarming, eyes that are seductive, a voice that's sensual, and lips that are made for licking. I can only imagine that you're gifted when it comes to pleasuring a woman."
I couldn't help but smile. She had me pegged perfectly.
I raised my eyebrows. "You want me, don't you?"
"Don't flatter yourself," she deadpanned, taking on a very serious tone. "Now, look at me. We have some serious competition. Are you really sure you want to do this?"
"Of course, I'm really sure I want to do this. First of all, she hardly knows the guy. Second of all, she was in love with me. I know I fucked up, okay?" I got up from the chair and started pacing around her office. "I'm taking responsibility here. I haven't fucked in almost a month. Do you realize how serious that is?" Pausing, I looked at her to make sure she understood the effort that I was putting into this. I was serious. "Maddy, I'm thirty years old. This scene is old." I ran my hands through my hair as I continued pacing. "When I saw her last week, she took my breath away. I could barely speak. Do you understand how much it killed me to see how sad she was when she saw me?"
"Rick, how much of that bullshit do you actually believe?" she asked impassively. "I'll put money down that when you saw her, you wanted to seduce her back into your bed."
"Maddy, has anyone ever told you that you're a bitch?" I asked, offended.
She smirked. "All the fucking time. I'm right though, and I know it."
"Before I saw her, I was dreaming of fucking her. Yes, I admit it. I admit that when I saw her sitting there, I wanted to pull her hair down and tug on it, so I could suck on her neck. Yes, when I saw her lips, I wanted to taste her mouth. I wanted to hear her moan and beg me to fuck her. I'm the biggest motherfucking asshole that ever walked the earth. I know that. I'm trying to be a better man," I argued. Standing in front of her, I leaned down, placing my hands on the desk. With as much honesty as I was capable of, I said, "When I got close to her and saw the hurt I caused, it killed me. It killed me so much that I've even lost the urge to fuck. If that isn't serious enough, then I don't know what is."
"Well, we can't have you losing your urge to fuck. That would be a real tragedy." Madison snickered.
She couldn't fool me. I knew she wanted me.
We came up with a game plan, and Madison gave me homework that included clean eating and exercise. With Thanksgiving approaching, she said I even had to help feed the homeless. Oh yeah, Madison Stuart was a royal bitch trying to cut off my fucking dick. But, hell, if she helped me with Daniela, I didn't give a fuck.
Lincoln Road was surprisingly quiet this morning. The weather was glorious. Of course, our cold front had lasted two days, but now, we were back to eighty-five degree temperatures. This was wonderful because Liam and I would be going away to the Keys for the rest of the weekend. I was over-the-moon excited. I couldn't wait to spend the night with him again. Just thinking about it made my heart flutter and my insides tighten in a delicious way.
There were no words to describe Liam and the way he made me feel. He was so good to me, but he didn't put up with my bullshit either. When I'd had my meltdown, I was sure that he was going to leave. What guy wants to deal with that emotional mess? A man who truly cared about me—that's who.
I thought about how I'd felt when Liam had fought for me and for us. Then, he'd taken care of me. After I had put him through hell, he'd given me the most incredible night of my life. The best part was when he pulled me in close, and we had fallen asleep together. Yes, the three orgasms had been incredible, too.
I walked along Lincoln Road with the same goofy smile I got every time I thought about him. He was really giving my book-boyfriend extraordinaire a run for his money. Nothing could possibly ruin this day. With my smartphone in hand, I plugged in my earbuds and pulled up my favorite playlist as I strutted down to Van Dyke's with a little hop and dance in my step.
Then, someone startled me out of my daydream.
"Are you stalking me?" he asked, tapping me on the shoulder.
I looked down and shook my head.
Rick slowed his pace to walk next to me. Of course, he's running on Lincoln Road. I had never seen him running here before, and now, I couldn't seem to get away from him.
"Me stalking you? Really?" I rolled my eyes. "I think it's the other way around."
He laughed softly as his breathing returned to normal. Sweat was glistening off his skin. He had obviously been running for a while. He looked good. When doesn't he? Frankly, I didn't want to observe anything related to him, especially his muscles in his sleeveless T-shirt. I forced myself to keep looking forward.
"I think you're being paranoid, Daniela," he responded.
From the corner of my eye, I could see him smiling.
My heart rate increased as I picked up my pace. Or is that due to Rick's presence? I didn't want to deal with Rick Marin again.
"Rick, I don't want to be rude, but go away," I said, physically shooing him away this time.
He laughed again.
He had a contagious laugh that had always been my downfall. When we were together, I could never stay mad at him. He would say or do something stupid and then laugh. The next thing I knew, angry thoughts had been laughed away.
Sure enough, my reflexes betrayed me, and I laughed back. I stopped and turned toward him. "Rick, what do you want?"
His expression fell as his eyes dropped to the sidewalk. I leaned my weight on my right leg and put my hand on my waist as I waited for his response. He looked up through his lashes and gave me a small dimpled smile. That look used to get me every time. Damn him.
"Cariño, I was just running, and then I saw you," he said as though I was being hard on him.
"You need to keep running then," I snapped, glaring at him, and noticed a strand of hair fall on his forehead. I fought back the impulse from old habits. Geez, I want to tuck it into place.
He looked straight at me with a penetrating gaze. "You're right, Daniela. I should keep running, but I can't," he murmured. He looked away, running his hands through his hair.
I stumbled back at his admission while my eyes followed his hands, watching as his fingers combed back the strand I longed for. I regained my bearings. Shaking my head at him, I shouted, "No, you are not doing this to me. No! Do you hear me?"
When he moved closer to me, I backed up.
"Daniela, I don't want to hurt you. I know I don't deserve to share your air." He paused, looking up and then back at me. "But, after seeing you, I've just—"
"Stop!" I screamed at him. I put my hands out to ensure he didn't come closer to me. "You leave me the fuck alone." Looking away, I fought back the tears.
I didn't want to do this. His pleading eyes and his deep voice transported me to a different time, a time when I'd hoped that this was actually real. It took me to a place where I'd believed that he would become the man I had wanted him to be. It was a time when I'd waited for his phone call to beg for my forgiveness, telling me he wanted me back. It was the call I'd never received. It had all been a lie then, and it was a lie now. I wasn't going to let him manipulate me.
"Daniela, por favor, please…" he begged.
I turned and started walking away. I told myself to think happy thoughts. He followed me. I was just going to ignore him. I hoped he would go away, but he didn't.
When I arrived at Van Dyke's, I settled at my table, pretending he wasn't standing there. I continued my usual routine of organizing my things. I pulled out my Kindle, set my purse on the chair next to me, and propped up my feet on the chair across from me. Then, I signaled for the waiter and ordered my diet soda. As I dropped my eyes to my Kindle, my feet fell to the ground. He actually pulled the chair out and sat down. I shot daggers at him with my eyes.
"Let me finish what I was saying," he said in a commanding voice. He then turned to the waiter and asked for water.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Rick, there's nothing to say." I paused. "Look, I have a boyfriend, and I'm really happy with him. That isn't going to change."
He closed his eyes and then slowly opened them, taking a deep breath. "Look, I've gone through some stuff lately, and I've realized what's important. I'm getting my shit together. So, yeah, I run, eat clean, and I'm actually going to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving," he said very seriously.
I couldn't help but giggle. "I'm being punked, aren't I?" I laughed. "That has got to be the biggest load of shit I've ever heard, and you've told a few whoppers."
He sat up, like he was almost offended, and took a big gulp of his water.
I pointed at his bottle and smirked. "You do know that you're paying for that, right?"
He gave me a crooked smile as he put the bottle down on the table. He asked, "Are you happy?"
I nodded and smiled. That's the God's honest truth!
"As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me. But…"
I started to shift in my seat. I knew he was closing the sale.