The Do Over

by A. L. Zaun

  After the Ruiz Family Inquisition was over, her parents morphed into normal people, and I liked them. The rest of the afternoon went on without a hitch.

  Dani curled up next to me on the couch as we watched football and talked about boating with her dad. Her mom brought us some turkey sandwiches and about ten photo albums filled with pictures of Dani growing up. I was definitely part of the family, and it felt good.

  The dessert dishes were piled in the sink as the last of my friends left. Liam blew out the candles on the table. Thanksgiving dessert at my place was a long-standing tradition with my friends. We'd gather to decompress and laugh at the lunacy that was sure to have happened during our family Thanksgivings.

  I had a lot to be grateful for on this day, including good friends, my health, and most significantly, the man walking toward me. A warm glow flowed through me. I was still processing everything he'd said to my parents. His not-a-grand declaration was grand. I stood there, hugging the dishtowel to my chest. Wonderful didn't begin to express how his words had made me feel. God, I love him.

  As our eyes met, I bit my lower lip. He grabbed the dishtowel out of my hands and then wrapped it around my waist, pulling me into him. Tilting my chin, he lowered his mouth and teased my lower lip with his tongue. I smiled and parted my lips.

  Kissing Liam was my favorite pastime. Every cell in my body tingled, leaving me wanting more. Sure enough, my heart raced, my breathing quickened, and my mind cleared itself of anything other than the man whose arms were wrapped around me.

  "I finally have you all to myself," he said in a husky voice.

  Pulling back from him, with a raised eyebrow, I asked, "You didn't like hanging out with my friends?"

  He twirled the dishtowel in his hands. "Your friends are great, and I'm glad that you and Macy have patched things up."

  "Oh, really?" I said playfully. "Are you counting on learning my dirty little secrets from her? Fat chance since she's still on probation."

  He flung the towel at me, and I yelped.

  "Baby, I'm your number one. We don't keep secrets. I have nothing to learn from Macy."

  I'd planned on telling Liam about Rick on a number of occasions, but the timing had always felt wrong. Now was a prime example. Everything with Liam was perfect, and I didn't want to rock the boat. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the visit with Rick was harmless. I'd be upsetting Liam for nothing at all. I had dragged him through enough post-Rick break-up shit that I didn't want to talk about him anymore. I was letting all of that go, so I could move forward with Liam.

  "I have something for you," I said.

  As I was leading him toward my bedroom, he wrapped his arms around me. I purred as I reclined against his chest. He buried his face in my neck, tickling me with his stubble.

  With his lips against my ear, he whispered, "I have something I want to give to you, too."

  A shiver coursed through my body as he pressed his growing erection against me. I forgot what I had for him. I remembered that it was special, but the overwhelming passion and desire I was feeling was all I could think of. My body craved him and throbbed in anticipation of his touch. His hands slid under my blouse and settled on my nipples. His breath against my ear tickled my senses.

  He whispered, "I've wanted to touch you all day."

  I whimpered as my legs stopped moving mid-way to my room. While his fingers kneaded my nipples, I panted and squirmed against his body.

  "You like that?" he asked.

  I nodded in response.

  Still standing behind me, he unbuttoned my blouse, and it slipped to the floor. His hands reached for mine, and then he brought my fingers over my nipples.

  "Baby, play with them," he mumbled in my ear.

  I trembled, my legs weakening. His hands traveled along the side of my body as he lowered himself, trailing kisses down my back. I widened my stance and propped myself against the wall with one hand while keeping the other on my nipple. After he slipped off my skirt, his fingers gingerly skimmed up my legs. I moaned in pleasure as he began caressing my folds. He inserted his fingers inside of me.

  "Baby, you're so wet."

  He kissed along my legs and softly nipped with his teeth. I quaked at his touch. Both of my hands were now pressed against the wall. I stood on my tiptoes, closing my eyes, as I rocked against his hand. Then, he pulled away.

  "What? No…don't…stop."

  I was desperate for his touch. As I heard him unzip his pants and open a condom wrapper, anticipation rippled through my body.

  "I'm not stopping. I'm never going to stop loving you," he said.

  He teased me with his tip, rubbing it over my opening. My heart fluttered, beating uncontrollably.

  "Please…Liam."

  Giving me what I needed, he entered me. His arms reached around me, and his hands rested next to mine. My back arched into his chest as he rocked me into complete and total euphoria. The pressure mounted, my legs weakened, and I shattered, moaning and crying out his name.

  Holding me up, he picked up his pace. With each thrust, the pressure built again. As he moved faster and harder, I couldn't hold on. He pressed me against the wall, supporting my body, as I let go. We found satisfying pleasure as we climaxed together.

  "Happy Thanksgiving, baby," he panted.

  I raised my hand to him, asking for a minute. "Yeah…happy…yeah."

  His hands ran up the side of my highly sensitized body. I was about to pass out from the lack of blood flowing to my head. He picked me up and carried me to my room.

  "I have something for you. Give me a minute while I try to remember what it is," I said.

  When he set me down on the bed, my hair fanned out on the white sheets.

  "You're so beautiful, baby. This is how you looked the first time I brought you home."

  "Oh yeah? When you wanted to cop a feel?" I teased.

  "I wanted to do a lot more than cop a feel. I had to hurry up and get the hell out of here. You've always driven me crazy."

  I threw a pillow at him.

  "What? You know it's true, and you love it."

  Liam came to bed and dragged me into him. "Today was great. Thanks for making it special," he whispered, combing his fingers through my hair. "You're always surprising me. It was hot watching football and ESPN with you. Baby, it was a total turn-on." He kissed my neck and hugged me tightly.

  "You're always turned on, not that I'm complaining," I said, squeezing his arms. "I'll watch football with you anytime, especially if that Cole Murphy guy is on SportsCenter."

  "Cole Murphy? Baby, when I'm in bed with you, don't ever talk about another man. Got it?"

  "I'm just teasing." I kissed his arm. "You know that I'm yours."

  Liam had not been kidding in CPR class when he'd told me that he was a jealous fool. Most of the time, his alpha caveman attitude was sexy. Then, there was his exchange with Macy's brother, Marco, who had been flirting with me since high school. I didn't want Liam to interfere with how Marco and I goofed around. I really thought Marco would've matched my irritation, but instead, he'd been impressed by Liam's approach. They had formed an alliance, and I was outnumbered.

  As I pulled away from him, the sheets slipped off of my body.

  "Hey, where are you going?" he asked.

  "I have something for you. When you're close to me, my brain goes to mush, so I need some distance, please." I waved him back before I slipped on a T-shirt.

  He propped himself up on his elbows as he watched me prepare my presentation. I opened a drawer and took out a small wrapped box. I breathed in deeply. This was huge for me.

  "This is for you." I extended it to him and then quickly drew it back. "I love you, Liam. No one has ever cared for me like you do. You've met my family and lived through their interrogation. And you're still here. I know that loving me isn't always easy. I have my stupid hang-ups. Moving forward, I promise you that I won't make you pay for what someone else did. I'm trusting you with my heart." I handed him
the box and stepped back.

  He smiled and slowly started to unwrap it. I realized then that watching him open gifts on Christmas would be painful. He wasn't the rip-it-open kind. He was the peeling-back-the-tape-carefully type. Before I could yank the box out of his hands and open it myself, he pulled out the key to my home.

  "Like my heart, I don't share this easily. I want you to have it. I want more with you. I want more for us."

  He sat up on the bed, hooking the key ring around his finger. "Do you still need your distance?" His eyes were hungry. He was ready to pounce on me.

  "Wait. Don't get too close. I have to show you something else."

  As I walked over to the bathroom, he sat on the edge of the bed, craning his neck.

  "Um, I can't see. How about I promise to keep my hands to myself?"

  "That'll work." I smiled. "On nights like tonight, I don't want you to leave." I looked into his soft eyes and smiled. I showed him the drawer I'd prepared for him. The other day, I'd cleared out my stuff and filled it with his.

  "Baby, I love you," he said, dragging me into him. His hands cupped my face as his thumbs caressed me. "I love you so much."

  "You're okay with all of this?" I asked coyly as our bodies swayed together.

  I was relieved. He led me back to the bed. Lying down next to me, he laced his hands with mine.

  "It wasn't too much? Not over the top?"

  "Nope. It was just right, like you."

  His lips grazed mine, sending a shiver through my body.

  "Let's do more. I meant every single word that I said to your parents."

  I took a huge leap of faith with him, and it couldn't have felt more right. The timing, as with everything pertaining to us, was perfect. Our individual grand gestures paved the way for more.

  The sun beat down on the pavement, and the heat was oppressive for a late November morning. I counted on a breeze, but I was disappointed as the palms stood still like soldiers guarding their post. Other than the potential chill of air conditioning, there was no reprieve in sight.

  I braided my hair as I walked toward Van Dyke's. The sundress I was wearing offered little comfort. Maybe the umbrellas covering the tables outside would provide the respite I was looking for. Doubtful. I sighed as I concluded that we'd just have to eat inside.

  I didn't want to admit why I wanted to eat along the sidewalk. I wondered if he was running today. A part of me liked seeing him. I convinced myself that it didn't mean anything. We were just two old friends. I felt better about what had happened or hadn't happened between us. I stopped mid-step and shook my head. I had to stop this foolishness.

  What the hell am I thinking? It was so much easier when I hated Rick. Now, it felt complicated. I didn't know how to explain it. I'd enjoyed his company. For a brief moment, it had seemed like we had traveled back in time to when we were together. I had forgotten how he'd caused me so much heartache. It was crazy, but it was no different than all the love affairs I had with my book boyfriends. I wasn't acting on anything. A few stolen moments hadn't meant anything, and it never would.

  Anyhow, it had all been coincidences, just like Rick had said. I doubted he was running today. It was too hot. The weather had to be a sign that I needed to let it go.

  I looked inside a storefront and checked my reflection in the glass. As I tucked in a few strands of hair that had fallen out of my braid, my phone chirped. I smiled.

  Liam: Hey, baby.

  Dani: Miss me?

  Liam: All the time.

  Dani: I love you.

  Liam: Love you.

  I loved Liam. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I closed my eyes, savoring my thoughts of him. My heart fluttered, and my smile widened.

  As I opened my eyes slowly, I caught something in the reflection in the glass. No, it couldn't be. I turned around, and there he was. Lying on the ledge by the fountain, he clutched his phone against his chest. He looked pathetically delicious.

  I walked over and stood above him, casting a shadow. His eyes were closed. He must have felt my presence as he opened one eye to look at me.

  Staring down at him, I said, "Is this part of your reinvention? You've become a bum, sleeping near the fountain?" I laughed.

  He chuckled. His upper lip curled into a smile, making his cheek dimple. "I'll have you know that I'm many things, but a bum isn't one of them." He used his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "I'm dying."

  "You're dying?" I raised my eyebrow and laughed some more. He can be so dramatic. "And why is that?"

  "I'd rather not say. Just know that I had my last dying wish fulfilled. You're standing here. You laughing at me in my despair wasn't part of it, but I'll take whatever I can."

  "At least I'm giving you a little shade. It's hot as hell. Come on, get up. Let's get you some water." I held out my hand to help him up.

  "I have water right here." He splashed his hand in the fountain. "Don't laugh. I pulled my hamstring, and right now, this is the most comfortable position. I'm waiting for it to fix itself."

  "What kind of runner are you?" I put my hands on my hips. "Don't you stretch?"

  I couldn't believe I was going to do this, but he was injured. I had no other choice. I was a nurse, and I had a duty. "Okay, look, I'm going to help you stretch."

  "I think I've died and gone to heaven." He sighed and winked. "Just don't hurt me."

  "You're such a baby. Now, which leg is it?"

  After I put my purse down, I kneeled on the ledge in front of him. As I moved his sore leg to rest on my shoulder, he clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. He really was in pain.

  "I promise to be gentle," I said.

  "Cariño, you have your hands on my leg. You can do whatever you want."

  His skin glistened in the sunlight as sweat streamed down his face. His hair was slicked back. When I leaned in slightly, his hands reached up and grazed mine. He opened his eyes and met mine.

  He smiled wickedly. "I always liked you on top."

  "Behave," I scolded.

  I reminded myself that I was a professional. However, that didn't stop the pounding in my chest or the blush that kissed my cheeks. The heat wasn't helping the situation either.

  "Why? Being bad is so much more fun."

  I forced myself to look away. I'm just helping an old friend. I released the pressure from his leg, letting it rest on my shoulder and then pressed my body forward, moving his leg toward him. I needed to distract my mind and fast. What am I doing?

  "So, how was your Thanksgiving?" I asked.

  "For the most part, it was great. I ran the Turkey Trot, fed the homeless, and ended the night with the family." He propped himself up on his elbows. "That helped. Thanks."

  "Liar. You didn't feed the homeless."

  "First, I'm a bum, and now, I'm a liar. Your opinion of me is really low and…wrong."

  "Nope. I don't believe you."

  He slowly swung his legs over and sat up. I moved to sit next to him.

  His face brightened, and his perfect smile burst wide. "As a matter of fact, I have proof."

  He tapped on his phone and pulled up a picture of him. He was wearing a shower cap and being silly with his arms stretched wide as he stuck out his tongue. He looked like a complete goofball. Rick was playful, but I'd never seen him look this happy.

  "It was quite an experience. I think I'm a better man for it," he said.

  I nudged him on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you." I'd always known that deep inside, this man was hiding and waiting for the right time to come out. A part of me felt vindicated. I hadn't been delusional when I'd known there was more to him. He'd always had so much potential.

  "I sometimes surprise myself. I couldn't believe something that knocked me down a peg could be rewarding. I was so pumped that I'm now getting my mom involved." He nodded his head with a look of satisfaction.

  "Who are you? What have you done with the self-centered, arrogant asshole who broke my heart?" I asked, half-joking, as I lean
ed into him.

  I was crazy for even talking to him. It was downright insane to engage in this game. My friends would ring my neck, and I knew Liam wouldn't understand. He'd go ape-shit caveman. The truth was that Rick had hurt me, but this made me feel better. It didn't make sense, but for once, I decided not to overanalyze it.

  His shoulders slumped, and the corner of his eyes dropped slightly. "I was waiting for you to bring that up." He let out a deep sigh and looked over at me. "I know I hurt you, and saying I'm sorry doesn't seem to be enough. All I can do is try to be a better man and hope that you'll forgive me one day."

  I shrugged my shoulders and smiled softly. "I honestly don't know how I feel, except that I don't hate you anymore. This," I said, motioning between us, "has helped." I felt the need to lighten the moment. "Don't think that I'm letting you off the hook. One day, you'll have to give me an acceptable explanation, but for now, it's too hot. I'm melting."

  Leaning back, I dipped my hand in the fountain and then splashed him. For a few moments, we were back to that place where the playfulness was familiar, and the hurt started to slip away.

  "I should probably move, so my hamstring doesn't tighten up again." He stood up and grimaced. "Thanks for the stretch and the cool down."

  "Will you be okay?"

  "Me? Of course. I'm Superman. It's going to take a lot more than a pulled hamstring to keep me down." He limped around in a circle.

  "Superman," I scoffed. "Says the man who was crying on his deathbed just a little while ago." I laughed as I offered him my shoulder to use as a crutch. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car. Please tell me you didn't park far away."

  He placed his arm around my shoulder as mine wrapped around his waist. I could feel his tight abs under my hands.

  "Been working out?" I asked, patting his stomach. Why did I go there?

  I had to remind myself that I was helping him. I was being a Good Samaritan. When I tilted up my head, he smiled at me. Damn that dimple.