Torn Hearts

by M. E. Gordon

  I kept thinking that I had to make a decision on who to concentrate on, but here was my grandmother telling me to just go with it, which I was more than ready and willing to do.

  “I saw those photos of you on that web site. I may be old but I keep up with the gossip like everyone else, especially if my grandchildren are involved. I think you are one lucky girl to have these two hunky men pursuing you.”

  “Thanks, Gran, but I’m not so sure Spencer will be coming around any time soon after seeing those pictures of me and Simon online, if he even looks at them. He’s so confusing, and he’s too good looking. My eyes actually hurt when I stare at him too long. It can’t be healthy.”

  “A man like that does not back down so easily. Your father was one--a young, self-made man. They don’t usually take no for an answer. Look how long it took for your mother to come around, but once she finally did, they were the happiest couple I had ever met.” Gran had always told me stories about my parents. How my father pursued my mother for over a year before she finally gave in, then six months later they were married. My parents were twenty one when they got married and they had twenty-one great years together.

  “Spencer and I are nothing like Mom and Dad. He’s perfect, like I think he was called the sexiest man alive in a magazine once, and I’m--well, it took me a long while to be happy with who I am. And perfect and me don’t go together.” It was the truth. It was what I thought and I was sure the entire world thought that same thing about Spencer and me. “Ouch!” I shouted, rubbing a spot where my gran had pinched my arm.

  “If I ever catch you talking like that, a pinched arm is going to be the least of your worries. You understand, young lady? You are perfect. You are someone’s perfect. You just have to find them. It might be this Simon guy or it could totally surprise you and be Spencer Salvatore, or it could be the garbage man. You have to stay optimistic and let things fall where they may.” She sat me up and held my shoulders as she spoke.

  Her words hit me. I was someone’s perfect, though I highly doubted I was Spencer’s. But I wouldn’t tell her that. I didn’t want another bruise.

  Chapter 8

  My weekend at Gran’s went by so fast and, before I knew it, it was Monday morning. After my revelation over the weekend, I now had a new attitude on my situation. I knew Gran told me to just let things fall into place as they would, but I liked to be in control, especially with my so-called love life, which had been nonexistent until a few weeks ago.

  Spencer was a fantasy--one that I planned on keeping locked tight in my mind. I knew, deep down, I was simply imagining everything with him. The stupid gossip about us was good enough to make even me believe I had something with him when I clearly was imagining it all.

  Simon was reality and a pretty hot reality at that, no Greek God, but I was definitely attracted to the boy next door. I wasn’t going to sabotage my chances at a real relationship with a great guy just because I had some school girl crush on the popular guy. I sent Simon a text. It’s Monday, what u doing 2nite?

  It didn’t take long before I got a response to that little text.

  U ;)

  That was the smallest and sexiest text I had ever received in my life. What a smartass. I was sure I looked like a crazy person, laughing out loud in the library.

  But I could play that game too. Sorry your boss called. You have to work tonight.

  Don’t mess with the queen of sarcasm, you will lose every time. I placed my phone back in my bag and continued walking home. I was a few steps farther before my pocket starting buzzing.

  “Hello?” I answered after seeing it was Simon calling.

  “Elizabeth, it’s Simon.”

  No shit. “Yeah. I know. Caller ID,” I said.

  “I--umm, my boss called you?”

  I stopped walking and look down at the phone. What? “I’m not at liberty to say,” I said, exaggerating.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He sounded strange and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I saved him before he embarrassed himself anymore. “Simon, I was joking. Why would your boss call me? If you’re going to be a smartass, then you’re going to get it right back.”

  The sigh of relief through the receiver made me chuckle again. “Right, I knew that,” he said.

  I could practically see the relief on his face. “Secret’s safe with me,” I said. “So tonight. My place? Movie?”

  Gia had a late class and was going out after. We would have the place to ourselves. See if it was friendship or who knew what else?

  “I’ll be over around seven,” he said, amused.

  “See you then,” I replied.

  “Hey, Elizabeth?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I wasn’t being a smartass.”

  I couldn’t reply before I heard the phone click dead. I hung up my end, beaming with delight. If it wasn’t sunny out, I was sure the glow off of me would have lit the whole street. Soon, the glow dimmed as I thought about what he was really implying. I was not a virgin, by any means, but sex with a guy like Simon was new territory for me. Having a horrible body-image problem could do that to your sex life. The shield that I had built up since getting to know Simon was slowly falling down. Maybe it could be more than a friendship.

  ***

  I sat on the couch, nervously waiting for Simon to arrive. I jumped up and out of my skin when I heard a knock at the door.

  When I opened the door Simon stood casually on the other side. “Hey.”

  Upon entering, he didn’t waste one second. I was wrapped in his arms tightly as his lips found mine. Releasing me, he coolly walked over and placed his tattered bag on the kitchen table. I stood, shell shocked as I watched him.

  Something had changed in him. Maybe he had let his guard down, too. Closing the door behind me, I took a second to recover. God, did he look good in a hoody and jeans, and he smelled even better. Turning back to me, he stopped to admire the flowers that were on the counter. Crap! I forgot to get rid of them. Please don’t ask about the flowers. I could always say they were Gia’s.

  “You look wonderful tonight,” he said, turning from the flowers and walking over to me.

  Thank you. Having my silent prayer answered, I exhaled with relief. My eyes met his just as his complement registered. My cheeks instantly flushed with color. If I had a dollar for every time this man made me blush.

  “I told you to get use to the compliments.”

  He had warned me earlier.

  I shook my head as I lead him to the couch. “Come on, Casanova, let’s find a movie.”

  I went to turn the TV on but Simon took the remote from me and placed it back on the coffee table. He took my hand in his, running his fingers softly over the tops of them.

  “What’s this about?” I asked, looking down at our hands.

  “I’m just grateful to be here, getting to know you,” he said, as if he hadn’t been all the other times we’d been together.

  “I’m glad you’re here, too. Did you see the pictures from our date?” I asked, squeezing his hand a little, figuring this was why he was acting weird.

  “No,” he said, looking a little scared. “Did you take a picture of us that I don’t know about? I thought I was the photographer...Speaking of pictures, this light is perfect. You don’t mind if I take yours right now do you?”

  His eyes seemed to sparkle as he asked.

  “Seriously, Simon, some paparazzi snuck in and took a picture of us. It’s actually a good picture, but it’s still annoying.”

  Letting my hand go, he went over to his bag on the table. “I told you, I don’t care about that stuff. I don’t look at it and, frankly, neither should you. Now, more importantly, perfect light, camera, you.”

  How did he do that? Be so confident and unbiased? People were going out of their way to take candid, intimate pictures of us in front of Spencer. Okay, so I left that little detail out but still, he should be flipping out .Hell, I’ve been flipping out since the first camera clicke
d. I’d had enough with the pictures and paparazzi. Going from a nobody to a mysterious vixen had me ready to move to Siberia.

  “You don’t want to take a picture of me. I look awful,” I said, running my fingers through my hair.

  “Never, that’s impossible. You’re perfect.” He walked back over as I covered up my face. “Come on, I know you’re not shy.” Sitting back down, he started snapping away. “Perfect,” He said it without hesitation. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? Could I be his perfect match? Was he mine? Sure, the times we had spent together felt right, but were they perfect? All I knew was it was way too early to give in so fast, especially with the weird way he acted on our date. He was battling something and--God damn it, that was like thirty clicks of the camera!

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I said, peeking through my fingers before letting them down all the way. Looking at him through the camera lens, I couldn’t help the stupid smile on my face. I was sure I looked like a goof ball, but I couldn’t hide my smile, even if I’d wanted to.

  Moving the camera, he looked down at me. “Has anyone ever told you that you should model?”

  Ha! He’s joking, right? Me, a model? That’s rich! I chuckled. “Umm, no, I don’t think I have ever heard that one before--oh wait, Gia’s tried to tell me I look like Kate Upton. I told her she was crazy and, frankly, so are you.”

  “She’s right you know, only, you’re more beautiful. You photograph really well. It’s so easy to take a good picture of you.”

  Apparently it was, and apparently he was not the only one that had been. He was telling me all this while he walked back over to his bag. Pulling out his laptop, he placed the memory card from the camera into the computer.

  “That’s very nice of you to say, but I’m not the modeling type,” I said firmly, shaking my head.

  “I’d beg to differ,” he challenged, turning back and winking at me from the table.

  “It’s true. I’m more of a book worm than a flashy butterfly.”

  Rejoining me on the couch, he placed his laptop on the coffee table. “Look,” he said, messing with the computer some more.

  I glanced at the screen and ended up doing a double take. Shit, it’s stunning. Turning the pictures to black and white made such an artistic difference. These photographs were gorgeous, and they were of me. His camera must be magical. That’s the only logical answer here.

  “I told you, Belle, you are a beauty.”

  Taking my eyes from the computer, I studied him.

  “Belle, huh? Does that make you the Beast? Simon, I can’t believe you just did this. You really are good at what you do.”

  “It wasn’t me, it’s all you. And yeah, I like the name Belle. You love books and you’re beautiful. I would be honored to be your Beast, so long as I turn into the prince at the end,” he said as his warm eyes met mine.

  I smiled over at him. “Okay, Beast it is.”

  I loved his sense of humor and his witty one liners. He seemed to always know exactly what to say, in a good way. So the real question was, what was the catch? My doubting mind can’t help itself. It knows guys like this don’t just magically pop into my life.

  Just like that, the little piece of my shield I lost earlier was replaced. I was safe, at least for tonight. We never even turned on the TV, nor did he let my hand go the entire night.

  The front door rattled then swung open as Gia came barreling in with shopping and school bags. “Oh, God,” She jumped back when she saw us sitting. “Sorry I just barged in like that.” She looked just as shocked as I felt. “I’m just going to go back to my room, lots of work to do!” she said, holding up her bags and heading out of the room backward.

  “Well, I think that’s my cue. I’d love to stay all night and talk, but I have an event I have to get to.” He stood from the couch, but kept a hold of my hand, pulling me up to join him. Letting go only to pack his bag, he quickly took back possession of my hand. I grabbed onto his large biceps, not even able to wrap my hand half way around it. Our eyes met as he pulled me even closer. My heart raced faster at his closeness. His lips only an inch from mine, I was in a trance as I watched his tongue dart out and wet his full lips.

  “I’d like to make this a new habit of mine.”

  It took me a moment to focus on what he was saying, because all I could seem to concentrate on was his hand moving slowly up and down my back. Once again, I was glad he had to go. My shield had so many cracks in it after sitting with him all night.

  “I’d like that. I mean, I have class and need to study. I’m a pretty busy person, but I think I can make some time for you.” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “You better,” he challenged.

  “Oh really, is that a threat?” I asked, smiling up at him.

  I could feel his body tense as he began to lean closer. His soft lips were millimeters away now.

  “Yes,” he said, nodding once and wetting his lips again.

  I closed the miniscule space that separated our lips. I took the chance and was wholly rewarded.

  I felt so comfortable in his arms. I didn’t mind his hands running over my hips. He wasn’t judging me or my size. I couldn’t help but think that this was how it was supposed to feel when you started to fall for someone. That feeling when it was just the two of you and nothing else mattered. I hate to admit it, but I like this feeling, a lot.

  Breaking the kiss, he whispered softly into my neck, “You are making me do things I didn’t think were possible. I’m completely under your enchantment, Belle.”

  That’s it. My knees are going to give out. He was still holding me tightly and I relished the moment as his warm breath danced across my ear and down my neck.

  With one last kiss, he stepped back and made his way out the door and to the elevator down the hall. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” were the last words I heard him say as the elevator swallowed him up.

  I rested on the back of the door, taking deep breaths. He was under a spell I wasn’t even trying to cast.

  Chapter 9

  I waited lazily on the couch for Simon to arrive. We had spent every free second we had together. We’d meet at the café. He’d help me study, and I had to succumb to him taking pictures of me. I’d protest, but eventually give in. The past two weeks had been out of a story book. With no word from Spencer, I felt liberated. I concentrated all my efforts on Simon. Fame seemed to have dropped their relentless attack on Spencer and me, and even though I knew it was for the best, a little part of me missed it.

  I was usually excited when Simon came over, but tonight I was all nerves. Gia was away for the weekend and she was always my go to for stopping things before they got too far. I knew that he knew that she was gone. He was here earlier in the week when she told me about it.

  Simon was a man. I shouldn’t expect anything less than the next step. Not that I didn’t want him to be on top of me, I just didn’t want him on top me with me naked.

  Tonight, I had made sure my armor was polished and welded as strong as I could get it. I wasn’t ready yet. Three weeks might be all right for others, but I needed more time. I’m not ready for him to see me naked and vulnerable.

  The knock at my door set my heart racing. I knew that tonight was going to be the hardest night. It was like everything had been leading up to it. The kissing and touching had become deeper and more sensual. Simon might have had it in his head that he was going to have sex with me tonight, but I had other plans.

  He stood in the doorway, smoldering as usual. “Hey, baby.”

  Simon’s voice always warmed me.

  “Hey, come on in.”

  Closing the door, he sat on the couch in our usual spot. Walking over, I had to stop in front of him. Otherwise I was going to jump on his lap and run my fingers through that perfect, sandy hair of his. “How was your day? Do you want something to drink?” I asked.

  “Sure, whatever you’re having is fine, and you should know by now that my day always gets better when I’m over here.”


  Shit, the first notch in my armor. Too fast. At this rate he’s going to have me sprawled on my back in ten minutes flat.

  I headed to the kitchen to get some wine. I took my time pouring, needing a minute to recover. I handed Simon his drink and sat farther away from him than I ever had. He eyed me skeptically. I took a big gulp of my wine.

  “What’s going on with you? Do I smell or something?” he asked, sniffing his arms.

  Not a chance. You could never smell bad. I need more wine. “No, I...umm...I think I might be catching a cold. Don’t want to spread it,” I said with a very fake cough.

  “You don’t look sick to me, let me check you out. Come here. Dr. Sullivan is in the building.”

  There’s no getting out of this one, is there? I gave his gorgeous body a once over and found myself unintentionally moving closer to him. Why am I so nervous about this? Simon has given me no reason to be even the least bit insecure.

  He patted his lap. I laid my head on his thick thighs and looked up into his concerned face.

  Gently, he brushed my hair so it fell over his leg. “Now, let’s see here.”

  My mouth instantly went dry and I was finding it very hard not to close my eyes in pleasure as he brushed his fingers through my hair. He felt my forehead, cocking his head in concern. “You feel a little hot and your cheeks are pretty flushed. I think I need to keep checking you out. Don’t want to miss anything.”

  I can’t take it anymore. My eyes closed as his hand moved down my neck and shoulders.

  “How does that feel? Any pain?” he asked.

  I opened my eyes to look up at him, shaking my head no to his question.

  “Good.”

  Shifting down over me, Simon’s lips found mine, kissing them tenderly. I reached up, curling a hand around the back of his neck. The thin strap of my tank top slid down and off my shoulder as Simon’s warm hand ran over the top of my chest. I arched into his hand, wanting more. I was sure he could feel my heart pounding against my chest. He had to, because, to me, it felt as if it was going to explode from my body. I dug my fingers into the back of his neck as I raised my head off his lap to kiss him deeper.