Tears blur my vision. I hate the way we left things, too, but it’s not my fault. Why do I always have to step up and be the bigger person? Why can’t I have what I want just once?
Dad’s bushy eyebrows pull together as he studies my face. “Tell you what, sweetheart…if this is what you really want, we’ll move you out right after graduation. Until then, I want you to stay with me.”
I let out a deep sigh. Something in me knew I wasn’t going to get away with that.
“Can I at least have my own car?”
Dad laughs deep in his throat. “I guess that’s a fair compromise.” His eyes take on a puppy-like expression. “Am I forgiven?”
“Yes.” I let him hug me. “Thank you.”
Being held in Dad’s arms again feels awkward, but I know that feeling will fade with time. Things will be repaired. No matter what we go through together, Dad and I have a way of always working through things in the end. He’s the one who raised me. My heart is tied to his like a horse to a post, whether I like it or not.
January 17
Home Again
I’m eighteen years old and my father wouldn’t give his blessing for me to live with my boyfriend long-term. Imagine that.
So yeah, I’m back at the mansion. Living next door to one of my enemies. Again. Yay.
It’s okay. Dad was right when he said leaving things the way we did wasn’t right. I just took off. Didn’t even wait to plead my case. Didn’t try to show them the truth. I just ran away like a coward. That’s not going to be me anymore from now on. After all I’ve been through, I’ve realized the only thing that matters is the people who love me. It doesn’t matter who I’m blood related to or where I came from.
I wish I had realized that earlier this year. However, I never would have met all these amazing people if I had, including Logan, so I guess I should be grateful for my own ignorance.
Still, these wounds are going to take a long time to heal. My new mission is just to get through high school.
Oh, and to kick Raven’s ass during the talent competition. I need some pride and dignity restored.
Ttyl,
Mads
On Monday, Dalton, Devon, and I find an empty table at lunch and huddle into one side of it. My lab partner, Michelle, joins us and so does Chandler when she’s free from a brief meeting with a teacher. So many people stare at us as they walk past. It’s hard to determine what they’re thinking. Does everyone here still think I’m after Dalton? I can see how it would look that way with us hanging out, though it could also be an unspoken argument in my favor that Dalton and I are only friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.
When I’m halfway done with my lunch, I spy Kiki coming up toward us to sit next to Devon on the opposite side of me.
“May I join you?” Her sparkling white teeth are bared with a smile.
“Of course. Sit down.” Devon smiles, remembering her from footage of her testimony in court. Short videos are circulating on YouTube of the court case among Wilcox students, the most popular of which is Raven’s face during Kiki’s testimony. She was so mad her face looked like a beet. For once, I look way prettier than her in a video.
Kiki takes the seat beside Devon and they chatter and giggle as she takes a bite of her meal. A couple more students join us from Chorus, and soon the entire table is filled. Laughter and teasing overtakes our side of the room, and I finally start to feel like I belong here. These are my friends. Some of us have been to hell and back together. All of us have one thing in common—we’re nice people who want to finish our high school diplomas and leave here in peace. This to me is how all of high school should be. We’re all working toward the same goal. Why should we waste our time sabotaging one another and doing things that could land us in big trouble?
A person who does not share my philosophy passes our table with her usual mob. They all scoff and giggle at us as if we wore dunce caps to school and look utterly ridiculous.
“Well, look at the royal rejects. This table carries a fungus, ladies. Beware,” Raven taunts.
None of us have to even look at each other to know ignoring her little jabs is the best way to piss her off. All of us continue talking and laughing over the sound of her voice until she finally leaves. When she’s gone, I feel a sharp point pummel my shin.
“Ow!” Furious, I look straight ahead and meet Dalton’s impish hazel eyes. “What the hell was that for?”
“I figured out our name.”
“Wait…our band name?”
“Yes. Here it is. You ready for it?”
“Spit it out, man.”
“Royal Rejects.”
“Eh…” I shake my head. “That sounds too ‘middle school.’”
“You’re right,” Dalton sighs. “Maybe a variation on the theme?”
“Interesting…” Rubbing my chin, I let the wheels turn in my head until creativity sparks. “What about Rejects Royale?”
Dalton grins. “That is pure genius.”
“You think so?”
“Yes. You are a band-naming machine.”
“Awesome!” We bump fists over the table. “I guess now all we have to do is convince the others.”
“I’ll call Max, and you can talk to Logan tonight over dinner. If they approve it, I’ll add our name to the roster tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.”
The sting of Raven’s immature stabs wears off and is replaced by a lightened feeling in my chest. Naming the band is a task that has been hanging over our heads for so long. I’m glad there’s a chance we’ll be nailing down that one key piece of ourselves soon.
The lock clatters as I turn the key, gaining entrance into an apartment that I now have access to any time I want. Logan secretly gave me his spare key when I left to go back to Dad’s. I’m essentially living at the mansion but also living here, because I spend at least two nights here a week.
When I open the door, I hear shooting sounds and grumbled swearing coming from the game room. Instead of interrupting Logan’s game, I go to the bedroom, change into a comfy t-shirt and shorts, and get settled on Logan’s bed to do my homework. I’ve finished my English homework and I’m halfway into my math assignment when Logan knocks on the open door. A tender smile graces his face at the sight of me.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Hey, you.” I invite him over with a pat on the comforter beside me and set my computer aside.
Logan makes his way over to his side of the bed. Lifting up the comforter, he slides in easily next to me on the mattress. Then he takes me into his arms and ravishes me with a kiss. Moaning, I lean into his lips, happy to waste as much time as he wants me to this afternoon. To hell with deadlines. His kiss is worth being late with just about anything.
Logan detaches from my lips sooner than I want him to. “I missed you today.”
“I missed you, too.” I press my lips against his.
After a brief kiss, he pulls back again. “Why didn’t you come and get me when you walked in?”
I shrug. “You seemed busy, and I had homework to do, anyway. I figured I shouldn’t bother you in the middle of a game.”
Taking my chin in his forefinger and thumb, Logan forces me to focus on his face. “I’m never too busy for you, and I always want to know when you get home.”
When he kisses me again, my lips are stretched into a smile.
Later, over a scrumptious dinner of lemon pepper chicken and roasted potatoes, I bring up the idea of naming the band “Rejects Royale.” Instead of giving me an answer, Logan almost chokes with laughter. I pound his back with the heel of my palm when he leans over, trying to cough out food that went the wrong way.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah…” His voice is strained. Sitting up, he turns toward me with a reddened face and bloodshot eyes. “Why did you have to bring that up while I was eating?”
“Well, I didn’t expect you to die of laughter—almost literally—after hearing it. What’s so funny about it?”
“I t
hink it couldn’t possibly suit us more. We were all abandoned by somebody. Rejects Royale definitely works for our motley crew.”
“Well, that’s a sad—almost morbid—way to look at it.”
“It is, but it’s true.”
“So…you like the name?”
“I love it, sweets. I think that’s a winner.”
“Great!” I pull out my phone from my back pocket. “I’m gonna text Dalton real quick.”
Me: Rejects Royale is a winner!
Dalton: Max liked it, too. Said he was a member of the chess club back in high school. Why am I not surprised?
Giggling, I show Logan Dalton’s text. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“Douchebag. Glad we finally have a name, though.”
I lock my phone and put it away, worried over the bitterness behind that statement. “Babe, are you still mad at Dalton?”
He breathes out a sigh, jealousy riddling his features. “A little bit.”
“He regrets what he did, you know, and it was only for revenge. Besides, you have nothing to worry about with us. We’re just friends. He’s like a brother to me, to both of us now.”
“I know…” The corner of his lips pulls up. “I just don’t like that my cousin got to taste these sweet lips before I did.” He brushes his forefinger down my lower lip. His hand falls down to cover one of mine.
“Well…” I gather his hands into my lap and squeeze them. The promise I made right after our first kiss needs to be restated. “What if I promise you’ll be the only guy to kiss these lips from here on out?”
His smirk widens into a full-fledged grin. “I guess I can accept that.”
Leaning toward him, I lose my breath, taking in the sheer perfection in front of me. Everything from his rich chocolate hair to his stunning green eyes to his physique and tattoos turns me into jelly inside. What I love most about him isn’t his looks, though—it’s the way we understand each other. It feels like we’re each half of a perfect whole. A unit that can never be severed.
“I love you so much,” I whisper, my breath fanning over his lips and growing facial hair.
“I love you, too.” He cups my neck and pulls me into a kiss filled with sweetness, trust, and tender affection.
February 4
Here Goes Nothing
Tomorrow is the show that will determine the winning sister for much more than just a dumb talent competition. Either Raven or I will be at the forefront of the entertainment scene if everything pans out tomorrow night. Not that I care that much about the publicity. I have Logan, my music, and my friends. I should be content with the good life I’ve made for myself. However, something has been added to the long list of reasons why I want Raven to suffer.
This past weekend, I realized something fundamental has changed between me and Dad. There’s a stiff, forced tone in our voices now sometimes when we talk to each other, like deep down, we both know things are still not okay between us. I screwed up by leaving without saying goodbye. He screwed up by not believing me. We said we’re sorry, but now the trust has been damaged. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to repair that now.
And this never would have happened in the first place if it weren’t for Raven.
I’ll never forgive her for what she stole from me. Ruin my reputation? Cause a relationship quarrel? Fine, but Dad was my best friend. He was my hero, and now there’s a chasm between us that I don’t know if we can ever close.
I have to beat her tomorrow. There’s no question. If I lose to her…I can’t stand the thought of it.
Fingers crossed. With the guys’ help, I’m hoping I’ve got this by a landslide.
Ttyl,
Mads
Behind the Wilcox auditorium stage, students buzz to and fro, perfecting their makeup, outfits, and acts. Dalton and I are sitting on a couple of tall metal stools in a corner, waiting on Max and Logan to arrive so we can tune up together before the show begins in forty-five minutes. As we watch the madness that surrounds us, I feel unnervingly calm. This is my first real, on-stage performance. I should be petrified, but I’m not even close. For some reason, I have a peace about this, like being backstage is the most natural thing in the world for me. It’s where I belong.
Dalton notices my lazy smile and jabs his elbow into my side, almost making me fall off the stool.
“Jacobs, you ass! What was that for?”
“You look like you’re about to fall asleep.” His intense hazel gaze drills into mine. “Focus. We’ve got to be on our toes tonight. Gotta get that adrenaline pumping.”
“Right.” I bounce atop my seat, trying to get my blood flowing.
After I notice some odd stares, I stop bouncing to avoid looking like a freak. Looking back up at Dalton, I notice something has triggered that pained expression I’ve seen on him several times before.
“What’s up?”
He gestures toward the door on the other side of the backstage area. Turning my head slightly, I see Raven and her posse walking in with smug expressions and groan.
“Just ignore them. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to crush her.”
Dalton swallows hard. “I hope so.”
An awkward moment of silence passes before I work up the courage to ask him a question I’ve been dying to ask since I met him.
“What exactly happened between you and my sister?”
His eyes spark with hatred. “We were each other’s first. She was the only real relationship I’ve ever had, and I know I was the only one she’s ever had. We said we loved each other…said we wanted to be together forever. Then one day I had the guts to point out that something she and Jess were doing together was wrong, and both of them hated me for it. They tossed me out on my ass and told me I wasn’t welcome to come around them again.”
“What were they doing?”
“I found out Jess had bribed a director to change his mind and allow Raven to play a role in a film. Raven’s acting is really not that great, as you’ve probably noticed, but she got parts because of Jess’s influence. When I didn’t support Raven’s role, she broke up with me, so I outed them anonymously. Of course they knew it was me, but they couldn’t prove it. Long story short, the director went back to his original call, and Raven hasn’t acted since.”
I can’t help it—I bubble over with laughter. So Dalton’s the reason Raven’s been clinging to her fame by a thread and using boys for publicity all these years.
“That is impressive, Jacobs. I mean, not what happened between you and Raven, but what you did to her. You single-handedly destroyed her career.”
“Yep.” His lopsided grin shows both sides of that story—the humor and the pain behind it all. “And I suspect I had a hand in firing up her crazy, too.”
“Well, so did I. Thanks to us, the world has now witnessed psychotic Raven at her finest.” We give each other an ironic high five.
“I’m glad we were able to move past that stupidity between you, me, and Logan. He’s coming around since you talked to him a couple weeks ago.”
“That’s good.” When I smile, Dalton can’t help but mirror it. I mock scold him. “No more kissing me, though, you hear?”
“I think I was working out the last bit of feelings I had for Raven. You look so much like her, I just…” Dalton shrugs. “I’ve never seen you in that light, though. Never will.”
“Same.”
Logan and Max join us a few minutes later. Unable to hide my joy at his presence, I run into Logan’s arms and press a kiss to his lips, letting him deepen it for a brief moment. Then, once we’ve pulled apart, Dalton, Max, and I take out our instruments and tune them up, making sure we match each other. Nerves flutter in my chest once I realize this is really happening. I’m actually going to play in front of an audience with my band for the first time.
When the principal signals the beginning of the talent show by going in front of the red velvet curtains and giving a speech, some girls move around the backstage area with water cups
and hand them out to the performers. Everyone, including my bandmates, accepts a cup, so just to be polite, I accept one, too. Then when I’m moving my lips down to take a sip, my nose stings with a familiar smell.
Vodka. This is not water. It’s straight-up alcohol. A full red Solo cup of vodka.
“Hey guys,” I whisper, “do you smell what I smell?”
“Hell yeah!” Dalton’s grinning like a fool and has already downed a small fraction of his cup. “Just what the doctor ordered.”
“Guys, we could get in huge trouble for drinking on campus,” I protest.
“Oh, quit being such a princess.” Dalton chortles at me.
“Dalton, stop! It’s a trap! They’re trying to get us drunk so we don’t perform well.”
“I perform better drunk,” Dalton retorts, taking another sip of his vodka and snorting. “Whew! Strong.”
“Well, I don’t. I’m dumping this shit.” I move toward the door that leads down the hallway to the girls’ bathroom. Our act is not until the end, so I’ve got plenty of time to dispose of this incriminating material before a teacher catches me.
On my way down the hall, I notice the girls that passed out the cups of “water” are now gathered around Raven, whispering to her. I stick by the lockers on the other side of her, walking as lightly as I can to avoid being heard. However, my presence draws Raven’s attention like the blood of a deer calls to a wolf. She sees me creeping down the hall and pushes her minions aside, parting them like the red sea. Then she walks beside me as I scurry down the hall and dump the vodka into the water fountain, shaking like a leaf.
“You say a word about this, and I’ll call the police and blame you for the drinks. They’ll believe my girls when they testify against you.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” I seethe out, boiling over with fear and anger all at once. “I don’t want to give into temptation and ruin my chances of beating you.”
Her derisive cackle claws its way out of her throat. “Your chances are slim to none as it is. You have to rely on three men to support you. All I need is my voice and a microphone.”
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 58