Brenden rests his forehead on mine, making my knees go weak. I’m certain I’m going to pass out, but when the beat of the song starts to come through the speakers, he begins moving us to the quick rhythm.
I can’t keep from laughing as he lifts his head from mine, singing along with the lyrics.
My heart nearly bursts as I watch and listen to him, recognizing almost immediately the song is Grand Funk Railroad’s Some Kind Of Wonderful.
“You know,” he says, taking a break from singing, “I think I’m starting to understand what you mean about music speaking to real life situations.”
“Damn, Mr. B,” someone says from behind me. I try to ignore it, desperate to hold on to this moment. I’ve been dying to have Lizzy back in my arms, to have her body pressed up against mine and see her reaction to it. “I didn’t realize you had so much game or such a beautiful girl.”
Realizing the mood has been killed, I swing my head around to find Tommy Sanford, one of my high school kids, smiling mischievously. He used to be one of my favorites. Tommy is smart, driven, and determined not to let the hand he has been dealt keep him from succeeding.
“Tommy, remember what we talked about in regards to language and respect?” I ask, needing some valid reason to scold him right now.
“Oh shit…shoot,” he responds. Lizzy laughs as she pulls out of my arms and stands at my side. “Sorry, Mr. B, ma’am.”
“Tommy, this is my friend Lizzy,” I say, my voice a little flat from the disappointment of no longer having her in my arms as I gesture toward her. “Lizzy, this is Tommy, one of my students from the high school.”
“Nice to meet you, Tommy,” she says, talking to him like he’s ten instead of seventeen as she waves, but he doesn’t seem to mind. The little bastard blushes a little as she smiles at him.
“You too, ma’am.” He can’t even meet her eyes before turning his attention back to me. “I was just trying out the new ball you bought me,” he tells me, excitement evident in his higher pitch. From the corner of my eye, I see Lizzy’s head snap over in surprise, but I pretend not to notice, “and I’ve been working on my form, like you said.”
“That’s awesome, dude. How’s it going?”
“I just bowled my best game ever.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” I say, holding up my hand to give him a high five.
“Yeah, man. I’m going to be ready for you next time we play. Who knows, I might even beat you,” he chuckles.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, son,” I tease. “You heading out now? It’s getting late.” Lizzy scoffs, bumping her arm into mine.
“Yeah, I should get home,” he answers, his eyes diverting toward the floor. He’s never felt at home with his current foster family—a fact he’s divulged to me, and one I wish I could fix for him, but the family hasn’t legally done anything wrong. Besides, he’ll be eighteen in a couple months and able to get his own place. He’s been saving up his money from the job I helped him get here at the bowling alley.
“You get that history paper due on Monday done?” I ask, raising my eyebrow. When I helped him get the job, he promised he wouldn’t let it interfere with his schoolwork.
“Yes, sir,” he answers with a curt nod.
“All right, you be safe heading home. I’ll see you next week.” Smiling, I pat him on the shoulder. He’s a good kid, and I hate knowing he doesn’t have the support he needs. I know all too well what that’s like.
“I will. See you, Mr. B.” He turns his attention back to Lizzy, giving her a shy smile and small wave before turning toward the door.
“Sorry about that,” I tell Lizzy, shifting to face her again. She’s smiling at me, regarding me in that way that causes a tightness in my chest. “What?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders, feeling overwhelmed by the softness in her eyes.
Shaking her head, she leans in and places a swift, delicate kiss on my cheek before whispering in my ear, “I think you’re a pretty incredible person, Brenden Scott.”
A lump forms in my throat as she leans back to meet my eyes again. There’s so much warmth and sincerity there, I find myself wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve someone like Lizzy in my life. She truly is some kind of wonderful.
State of Mind
“Tell me again how Brenden ended up coming along on our little excursion to Pennsylvania,” Julianna says, digging through her suitcase.
We flew out here today to pack up the rest of her things and ship them back to Tennessee. Julianna said she didn’t trust Christopher to do it right or get it done in a timely manner, and we both agreed she shouldn’t come back alone.
When I told Brenden about our planned trip, he insisted he tag along. He said it wasn’t safe for us to be traveling alone, and although I feel Julianna and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, the idea of having him with us did make me feel safer. Now, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s in the hotel room right next door.
“He just wants to make sure Christopher doesn’t bother us, and I don’t think it’s a bad idea myself,” I say, plopping down on one of the queen size beds.
“I’m not worried about Chris hurting me. The stupid cheating asshole just thinks he can win me back. Besides,” she says, turning to face me with a lopsided grin on her face, “I think him being here has more to do with wanting to spend the weekend with you than it does protecting me from my ex.”
My face heats as I bite my lip and divert my eyes away from her glare. It’s not like I hadn’t thought of that possibility, but I hadn’t really allowed myself to think about it—or, perhaps, overthink would be more accurate. For once, I didn’t want to consider all the different ifs, ands, or buts. I wanted him here with me and didn’t want to think about what all that meant or what having him here could lead to.
“Maybe he came for both reasons,” I retort, shrugging my shoulders as my eyes land on her again.
“Well, hot damn,” she says, slapping the bed as she takes a seat. “Does that mean the two of you are finally talking about how you feel? I mean, I’ve watched you guys all day and it’s pretty damn obvious you are crazy about each other, I just don’t understand what the problem is.”
My lips curve up against my will as I think about Brenden carrying my suitcase and taking my hand to comfort me as we took off on the plane earlier. Anyone who saw us together surely thought we were a couple.
“No, there hasn’t been any talking,” I groan, running my hand through my hair. “I think it’s just me holding us back...that he’s just trying to be respectful and make sure I’m ready.”
I finally admitted to Julianna my feelings for Brenden had grown beyond friendship, telling her he shared things with me about his past and gushing over the brave, strong, caring person I know him to be.
“All right, and what’s holding you back?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, shaking my head. “Xander, I guess. What does it say about my love for him if I’m falling for someone else?”
“I’m going to put a pin in that whole falling comment for now,” she says, tilting her head as she smirks. “Having a relationship and developing feelings for someone else doesn’t have anything to do with your love for Xander.”
“Doesn’t it, though? And what about the kids?”
My kids have certainly been a contributing factor in my efforts to keep my relationship with Brenden platonic. I don’t want to confuse or upset them. Losing their father was enough of a traumatic experience.
“I get you being nervous and cautious when it comes to them, but Brenden seems like a great guy, and you don’t have to bring him around the kids right away.”
“But—” I begin, getting cut off with the raise of her hand.
“Look, you don’t have to make any lifelong decisions right now, but how are you ever going to find out how things could be if you don’t at least try?”
My head turns toward the wall connecting to Brenden’s room behind me as she stands from the
bed, wondering what he is doing and if he’s awake—thinking about what would happen if I were to just go knock on his door.
“If I were going to try, now would be an ideal time,” I laugh, although I’m seriously considering the possibility. I’m hundreds of miles away from the reminders of why I’ve been holding back from this in the first place.
“You laugh,” Julianna says, her lips curling as she rubs her hands together, “but you know it really would be the best time to go for it.” I narrow my eyes at her as she gasps before pressing her lips together and making a squealing sound, shaking with excitement.
“What in the—”
“You have to do it! It’s too perfect with it being Valentine’s weekend.”
“Valentine’s weekend?” I screech, my heart sinking as my thoughts leave Brenden and focus on her. Valentine’s Day isn’t something I’ve given much consideration to since I lost Xander, and I hadn’t realized it was this weekend. “We shouldn’t have come here this weekend, why didn’t you say anything? This has to be hard enough on you without having to do it on Valentine’s.”
“Oh, whatever,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes before turning and making her way toward the bathroom. “Valentine’s Day isn’t until Sunday. Besides, it just gives it a poetic vibe.” She opens the bathroom door and steps inside before facing me again, the bright smile on her face unable to bring light to her eyes.
“But—”
She holds up her hand and shakes her head, cutting me off again. “I’m fine, honest. If you don’t take advantage of this weekend, I’m going to kick your ass.” My mouth hangs open as she laughs and begins closing the bathroom door. “Getting in the shower. Don’t be here when I get out,” she calls right before it shuts.
My heart races as I look over at the adjoining wall again, listening closely, trying to hear him. There is no way I can go over there now, right?
“Lizzy?” I say, swinging open the door to my hotel room. “Is something wrong?”
I’d nearly been asleep when I heard a light knock. It was so soft, I wasn’t positive whether someone had actually knocked or it was just the television until I heard it again.
She shakes her head, her wide eyes doing that flustered blinking thing they do as her cheeks begin to blush, and I realize I’m in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. At one in the morning, I hadn’t exactly been expecting company. Lizzy should have been asleep and I practically ran for the door, concerned something was wrong.
“Sorry,” I chuckle, pulling her into my room. “I wasn’t thinking about my wardrobe or lack thereof when I opened the door. I thought something was wrong.”
She continues to stand by the door as I walk down the small entry toward the bed, her body rigid.
“Lizzy?” I say, motioning for her to come farther into the room. My breath catches as I allow myself to look at her. Her long, dark hair is untamed and her makeup-free face has a stunning natural glow. She is so damn beautiful, it’s almost painful to look at her.
“I’m sorry,” she sighs, shaking her head as she turns toward my door.
“Whoa!” I call out, jetting over to her, reaching past her and catching the door right as she pulls it open. After pushing it shut, I keep my hand on the handle to prevent her from opening it again. “Where are you going?” I turn her around to face me, but her eyes remain on the floor between us. Placing my other hand on the wall beside her, I trap her in. I have no intention of letting her leave until she tells me why she came here in the first place.
“Why did you come to my room?” Her eyes snap up, locking on mine, and I notice her large pupils making her eyes appear darker.
We are so close, I can feel her heavy breaths on my bare chest and smell the floral scent of her hair, my willpower dwindling more with each second.
“I couldn’t sleep...” she breathes, trying to create more space between us by pushing her back up against the wall, though there’s nowhere for her to go. “Julianna was snoring…really loudly.”
I scoff at her explanation, my lips curling and eyebrows lifting. “If you came to my room to sleep, then why are you trying to leave?”
“I, uh…” she stammers, quickly giving up on her vocal response with a slight shake of her head and shrug of her shoulders.
I tuck her hair behind her ear, then sweep it away from her neck. A shiver courses through her and I suppress the urge to kiss her, make her feel me—feel what we have.
“Are you sure you didn’t come here for another reason?” I keep my eyes glued on hers, looking for any sign that she came here for me—that she wants this too.
Her heavy breathing is the only sound filling the air as I pull her away from the wall and into my arms. When she doesn’t resist, my hand settles on the small of her back and I mold my body flush with hers, certain the thin piece of fabric around my waist is doing nothing to keep my desire for her a secret.
“If there is something you want,” I pant, tilting her head up with my free hand and leaning in until our lips are mere inches apart, “all you have to do is tell me. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
Her skin feels so soft in my hands, and I’m itching to feel more of her. My vision blurs as she remains silent, my resolve to let her have the control dissolving at an alarming rate. She gasps as I run my thumb across her bottom lip, her body jerking and pressing into mine.
“Is this what you came here for? Do you want this—do you want me?”
“Yes,” she breathes before taking my lips with hers. Her hands cling to my back as my tongue slips inside her mouth, desperate to taste her again.
Her mouth is cool and sweet, like ice cream. It’s perfection, and I’m certain I’ll never be able to get enough of it. She lets out a moan as my hands make their way to her ass, gripping her cheeks as I lift and wrap her legs around me.
Electricity surges through my entire body as I carry her over to the bed. I tell myself to move slow and take my time, not wanting Lizzy to feel pressured or freaked out by what’s happening between us, but the adrenaline pumping through my veins won’t allow it. I want her too much. I’ve waited so long. Nothing else exists in this moment except her. She is the only thing that matters, and nothing has ever made me feel as phenomenal as I do being with her now. This is what I’ve been waiting for. Lizzy is finally giving herself to me—not just physically, but emotionally.
For the first time, she doesn’t seem to be holding back. Her kiss is demanding and her hands greedy as I guide her body down to the bed. Never breaking our mouths apart, I join her, my knees bending as I straddle her and she lays back. Once I’m hovering over her, the weight of my body bearing down on hers, a shudder of pleasure ripples through me. I want this so badly, but I want all of her, not just her body.
Pulling back, I break our kiss and open my eyes. She’s panting as she licks her swollen lips, her face flush and eyelids still closed. Allowing my eyes to roam over her flawless body laying beneath me, I commit every detail to memory—the way her hair is fanned out around her head, the way her milky skin seems brighter in the dim light provided by the television, and the way the thin material of her t-shirt clings to her seamless, round breasts. Desperate to see more of her, I hook the hem of her shirt and begin to lift it, enjoying the way her body quivers as goosebumps pop up on her skin under the pads of my fingers. As her shirt reaches the bottom of her breasts, I look up to gauge her reaction and find her eyes still screwed tight.
“Hey,” I move my hand to cup her cheek. “Open your eyes, beautiful,” I implore, needing reassurance that this is about more than sexual desires for her too.
Fluttering open, her eyes take a moment to focus. When they finally lock on mine, my heartbeat becomes erratic. There is so much more than lust hidden in the depths of her gaze, and the magnitude of it is almost overwhelming, but it’s all the confirmation I need to move forward—to make her mine.
In This Moment
“Okay, I can’t stand it any longer,” Julianna whispers, keeping her eyes on the f
ront door of the home she shared with Christopher. Brenden just walked outside to put some of her things in the car and I’m guessing she doesn’t want him to hear whatever she is going to say. I have a pretty good idea what this is going to be about too. Last night has caused things to be noticeably different and a little strained between Brenden and I today, which has made this very uncomfortable for all of us.
“What?” I huff as I continue to pull her books off the built-in shelves in the living room and pack them.
“This awkwardness between the two of you,” she answers, waving her hands around as I turn to look at her. “You’re barely speaking to him, and I don’t think you’ve really looked at him all day. Yesterday, he took every opportunity he could to touch you, and today, he’s acting like he’s afraid to get too close to you. What the hell happened last night?”
My body tenses as my breath stills. She hadn’t mentioned anything about last night before now, and I assumed—or hoped—that was because she didn’t know. We left the hotel early this morning to pack her things and I haven’t had a chance to talk to Brenden about any of it—not that I know what to say. “What do you mean?” I ask, reaching for another book on the shelve.
Scoffing, she steps over to me, pulling the book out of my hand. “I heard you leave last night. I know you went to his room.”
I moan, meeting her eyes. Shaking my head, I run my hand through my hair and drop to my knees next to the box full of books. “Nothing happened.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, but not the whole truth either. My eyes squeeze shut as the events of last night replay in my mind, my chest burning with embarrassment. After hours of not being able to sleep, tossing and turning as I thought of Brenden next door, I’d finally gotten out of bed and walked over to his room without allowing myself to think everything through.
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