Take Me

by Anna Zaires, Pepper Winters, Skye Warren, Lynda Chance, Pam Godwin, Amber Lin

  Chapter One

  It was sweet, beautiful pain that filled her mind, washed through her, and had her needy for more. She wanted to always stay here, in this dream that seemed to haunt her on a nightly basis. But she couldn’t really say it haunted her, not when she prayed for the sweet release it brought her every night before she closed her eyes. Disgust and shame filled her each morning when she reflected on those dreams. For pain with pleasure shouldn’t be classified as “normal,” right? It made no difference, because it was only in her dreams that she would allow these dark desires to control her. She enjoyed the idea of marks on her flesh, a hand on her throat, slowly tightening until darkness threatened to take her away. But only in her dreams could she ever allow herself that moment of depravity.

  The outraged scream and the sound of something shattering had Ruby slowly opening her eyes. She blinked a few times, but otherwise stayed on the bed, her comforter that smelled faintly of mold pulled up to her chin, and stared at the ceiling. It was off-white, but riddled with brown stains. Her mother yelled something nasty and ugly, presumably at her boyfriend. Ruby thought his name was Buck, or maybe it was Chuck. She didn’t really know or care since there seemed to be a new one every week. With her graduation already past, it was time for her to finally leave. This had been the moment in her life she had been thinking about for years, and that time had finally come. Ruby was going to leave this shitty city behind her, forget about the ugliness that surrounded her every single day, and start over. She didn’t even have a set plan, but she didn’t need one because she just didn’t care. The idea of spending one more moment surrounded by the failings of her upbringing was enough to have her leaving. She’d work things out when she got to Fort Hampton. Maybe she would fail and feel just as misplaced as she did right now, but she wouldn’t know unless she tried. If she stayed here another moment longer she wouldn’t survive.

  Her mind felt like it was deteriorating with every harsh comment that left her mother’s mouth, and with every inhalation of this smog-filled air. With a trailer to call her home, a reputation as “trash” all through high school, and no friends, Ruby was used to feeling like she didn’t belong. Yes, she isolated herself, but she found that being alone was a much better existence. The waste that surrounded her, the feeling of emptiness and of having no self-worth was something Ruby was used to, but not something she wanted. There was a big world out there, one that she could explore and hopefully start to feel like she was finally living.

  She pushed up on the bed and the comforter fell away from her body. She hadn’t fallen asleep until well after midnight, courtesy of her mother having sex in the next room. The paper-thin walls did nothing to block out the sound of a banging headboard and the vile things that had been said. Scrubbing her hands over her face, she dropped her hands and breathed out. She reached over and grabbed her cell. Flipping it open, she stared at the lit screen. It was only five-thirty in the morning and already the yelling had started. Tossing the cheap phone back on her scarred bedside table, she decided she’d rather be sitting at the bus stop for the next twelve hours than stay here. It was only a matter of time before her mother took out her anger on Ruby.

  After she had her jeans on, she grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it over her head. Getting on her knees and reaching under her bed, she felt the straps of her backpack and wrapped her fingers around it. Once she pulled it out she reached inside for her ratty hoodie. It was ugly as hell, but well loved. She grabbed the one-way ticket to Fort Hampton and moved her fingers over it. It was a fourteen-hour bus ride, and she had no idea what she would do once she got there, but anything was better than this. She tucked the ticket in the bag next to her money. Once she had her hoodie and her shoes on, she sat back on her bed. It was sad that everything she owned could be shoved into this bag. Clothes, the thousand dollars she had saved from working at the fast food place down the street, and a few personal items were all inside the confines of this canvas. Although she had no definitive plans once she got to Fort Hampton, she had researched some cheap places she could stay. She had restaurant experience, well, fast food experience, but she was hoping to find something of that nature to do soon after she got there. The thousand dollars she had wouldn’t last her very long.

  Standing and slinging her bag over her shoulders, she moved toward her door and waited a moment to see if there would be any more yelling. She pulled it open as silently as she could and listened again. Should she have felt guilt over the fact she planned on leaving without telling the woman that had given birth to her? Maybe if that woman had actually acted like a mother in the first place.

  The lights were on, and she stepped out of her room and shut the door quietly behind her. If her mom was fighting with Buck/Chuck she would already be in a foul mood. The sound of the TV was low, but she didn’t let that distract her. Ruby kept her eyes averted to the ground and made her way toward the front door.

  “And where the hell do you think you’re going?” On instinct Ruby stopped and looked over at Missy Jacobson, her mother and the woman that treated her like she was shit on the bottom of her shoe. She sat at the faded yellow Formica kitchen table that was cracked in one corner and littered with cigarette burns. There was a bottle of whiskey in front of her, and the glass beside that was nearly empty. The bags under her mom’s eyes were dark, and it was clear she hadn’t gone to bed yet. Missy brought the cigarette she held to her mouth and inhaled deeply. She pulled it away and flicked the ash into the small aluminum tray beside the liquor bottle. “You gonna answer me or stand there like a fucking idiot?” she said at the same time she exhaled all that smoke.

  Ruby tightened her hold on one strap of her bag. “I have work early today.” Telling her mom that she was leaving for good would only cause a fight, especially since Ruby had been giving part of her paycheck over to Missy since she started working. With this being her only home, it was either help keep this piece of shit trailer afloat or have her mom kick her out. Finishing school had been a priority for Ruby, so she sucked it up and kept telling herself that as soon as she had her diploma in her hand she was out of here. Today was that day, and Missy Jacobson wasn’t going to ruin it.

  “Is that right?” Missy took another puff from her cigarette and exhaled. “Then why you need that backpack? Flipping burgers and filling up Styrofoam cups doesn’t require a lot of books.”

  “I have to go.”

  “I need money for rent.”

  Ruby stopped and looked over at her mom. “I just gave you some last week.”

  Missy shrugged. “What can I say? Keeping your big ass in this house costs money. There’s electricity, water, rent. A lot of shit.”

  “I don’t have any more.” Missy narrowed her eyes.

  “Girl, I put up with your ass prancing around here in your damn underwear, trying to tempt my men. You’re fucking lucky I let you even live here. You’re more damn trouble than what you’re worth.” Ruby wasn’t even about to argue over the fact she sure as hell didn’t prance around anywhere with just her underwear on. In fact, she rarely came out of her room when she was home, not after one of her mother’s boyfriends tried to touch her. She poured herself another shot and tipped the glass back to her lips. Her eyes were glossy and red-rimmed and Ruby knew she was drunk, probably had been since yesterday. “I should have aborted your ass when I found out I was pregnant.” Bile rose in Ruby’s stomach. Even though nothing her mom said was sweet and loving, and was always so vile in nature, it still hurt like hell.

  “I’ll bring you some money after work.”

  Missy leaned back in the seat. “You better or you can kiss your room goodbye.”

  Ruby stared at her mom for another second. “Bye.”

  Missy didn’t even respond, just stared straight ahead and smoked. But there was no sadness in Ruby at leaving. In fact, there was a very deep comfort in the knowledge that this was the last time she would step foot in this shithole. Anything was better than this, including sleeping under a bridge, which mig
ht be a possibility once she reached Fort Hampton.

  * * *

  Ruby wrapped her arms around her middle when a gust of wind whipped by her. The sound of the approaching bus and her cramping stomach had woken her from a somewhat restless sleep. She had been at the bus station all day, sleeping off and on as best she could with the noise all around her. She had only eaten a granola bar and drank a bottle of water that she had brought. She could have eaten something a bit more substantial, but she wanted to save every penny for when she got to Fort Hampton.

  Straightening as the bus pulled to a stop, she noticed that several people were already lined up to get on the Greyhound. The smell of burning rubber from the bus braking, and of exhaust filling the air around her had Ruby covering her mouth and nose with her hoodie. The door on the bus slid open and people that had been inside started piling out. When the last person stepped off the bus, it was a few minutes before anyone could get on as the attendants cleaned it. Ruby glanced at the people waiting to load. There were a few families with children in tow, some college-aged kids, and the occasional elderly person. She glanced along the people once more, and stopped at one of the several benches that lined the side of the bus station. A man in a long black trench coat held a newspaper in his lap, but his attention was trained on her. He didn’t look very old, maybe in his early twenties, with brown hair slicked back from his face, and eyes that looked black and bottomless. There was a clear darkness inside of him, but even though they were several feet away from each other, Ruby felt a very uncomfortable sensation move along the length of her spine. What she should have done was look away, but there was an invisible force keeping their gazes locked. She didn’t know him, had never seen him before, and the way he made her feel was like he could see into her soul, and knew every secret she held.

  She quickly glanced away, tightened her hold on the backpack in her lap, and felt very uneasy all of a sudden. She still felt his stare on her as if he was sitting right next to her, and so she stood, needing to just get on the bus and put some distance between them. Why was she having this sudden sense of wariness? Maybe it was the situation that had her on edge, the knowledge that she didn’t know what her life would be like? That rationalization had her easing slightly, because it seemed logical enough.

  Ruby took her place in line and waited as everyone loaded on the bus. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but she found herself glancing at where that young man had been sitting. A breath left her, one that she hadn’t realized she had been holding when she saw he was no longer sitting there. Yes, she was overreacting, seeing things that weren’t there because of this huge step she was taking. Putting everything else behind her, the life she led, the worry she had felt since she decided to actually follow through with this, and only focused on her future, she handed the driver her ticket and climbed on the bus. There was a seat in the very back, and she moved down the aisle toward it. After stowing her bag away and taking the seat, she glanced out the window and watched the cars passing by on the street. Well, this is finally it. You’re leaving all this shit behind. That had a smile curving her mouth even if she felt scared shitless.

  A tingling on the back of her neck had her turning away from the window and glancing at the front of the bus, and instantly her heart started to beat faster. The guy in the dark duster climbed aboard. His head was downcast, but he lifted just his eyes and looked right at her. He took a seat a few rows in front of her, and she slid down her seat so she could no longer see him, putting the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. Exhaustion settled heavily inside of her and she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her eyes open much longer. But blissful ignorance as she slept, and maybe dreaming of a happier place, sounded a lot better than her reality.

  Chapter Two

  Ruby stepped off the bus and stretched. The sun was peeking over the buildings, and the smell of gas and smog filled her lungs. She stepped aside and allowed a few of the other riders to move past her. They had stopped several times throughout the night, but aside from the quick bathroom break and stretching her legs, Ruby had stayed on the bus. The man that initially made her feel uncomfortable was one of the first to get off. The first thing she noticed was that he didn’t have a bag with him. She hadn’t even realized that when she had first seen him, but who went on a long trip like this without any kind of luggage? She had watched him through the window, saw him make his way toward a black stretch limo, get in, and then watched as it drove away. Why would someone ride the Greyhound when they clearly had access to a limo? But that was the only time she spent wondering about that.

  Inhaling the smoggy air wasn’t pleasant, but she did feel freer. She walked over to where a stack of newspapers were, paid for one, and moved over to one of the plastic seats that were bolted to the ground. Ruby needed to find a place to sleep for a few nights until she found something more permanent. She had seen a stack of pamphlets, ones that had advertised less than attractive motels, but they had been in her price range—meaning dirt cheap. She was starving, the morning weather was chilly, and the sleep that she had gotten on the bus had been intermittently interrupted by the stops they made.

  People were laughing and walking by, children were complaining about being hungry and tired—which she could relate to—and a small group of younger guys stood off to the side smoking cigarettes and speaking low. Ruby leaned over and grabbed a few of the pamphlets she had seen about the motels. She looked them over, not knowing exactly where to start, and feeling a little out of place. But truth be told, as excited as Ruby was to start this new chapter in her life, she felt lost inside of herself. She had never felt like she belonged back in her hometown, never thought she was anything special, and certainly didn’t ever make an impact on anyone. She had just gone through each day in a repetitive motion. It worked for her, and she had always just chalked up her inner loneliness to the fact that her home life was anything but filled with the love and happiness that a lot of families experienced. But then there were the darker desires she had, the ones that invaded her dreams with pain and pleasure. She kept those desires hidden, didn’t allow them to control her, even though they tried. They were sick and twisted, and she knew they served no positive purpose in her life. Suddenly there was silence as everyone made their way from the bus station.

  “Hey, pretty girl.” The small group of guys walked up to her. There were three of them, and as she looked around, already knowing she was alone, she felt a dread settle in her belly. She stood, feeling the weight of their stares on her as if they had reached out and took hold of her. The bus had already pulled away, and a look in the small operator’s box showed that it was currently empty. Ruby’s pulse increased and the flight or fight instinct moved through her with each step the guys took toward her.

  “You shouldn’t be all alone here. This isn’t the best part of town,” one of the other guys said.

  “I’m waiting for my boyfriend to come. He should be here any minute.” The lie tumbled out of her easily, but the three guys chuckled and looked at each other.

  “That right?” The guy ahead of the other two stopped a few feet away and grinned. He brought his cigarette to his mouth and inhaled deeply before blowing the smoke toward her. “How about we wait with you? Keep you company?”

  She shook her head. “Not necessary, but thanks.” Her throat was feeling tighter, her mouth very dry. He moved closer still, and the stench of stale cigarette smoke and sweat filled her nose. He reached out to touch her, but she took a step back. The bench behind her stopped her retreat, and his grin widened.

  “The next bus won’t be here for another half hour, and the asshole dishing out the tickets took a cigarette break just a second ago.” He snagged a strand of her hair and gave it a hard enough tug that her head jerked to the side. “Girl, you got a mouth on you that was made to suck di—”

  “Hey, punks, get the hell out of here.” The deep, scratchy voice to her side had the three guys stepping away from her. “If I see you loitering around here again I’m
calling the cops.” They turned and all but ran in the other direction, and Ruby sagged in relief. She turned and looked at the guy that had saved her, and she realized he must have been the one they had said went on a smoke break. He wore a uniform with the bus company’s logo on it and had a cigarette hanging from between his lips. If he hadn’t shown up when he did … she shook her head because she wasn’t even about to go there.

  “Kid, you better be careful. This is a shitty part of town, and not some place a young lady like you should be traveling alone, even if it is morning.” She licked her lips and nodded. She bent down and picked up the paper, pamphlets and her bag, and looked over at him again. He was probably in his fifties with a pot belly and a receding hairline.

  “Thank you.”

  He nodded, and looked down at the stack of papers she held. “If you’re looking for a place to stay that is relatively decent, you can check out Liberty Inn. It’s about a thirty minute walk from here. Or a cab can take you, but some of the cabbies will try and rip you off.” She nodded and offered him a wavering smile. Shouldn’t afford a cab, and certainly not if she got jerked around with the price. But walking sounded much better after being on that bus all night anyway. “Just take a left at the intersection up there.” He pointed to the main road that led off of the bus station property. “Follow that all the way down until you see the donut shop with the giant freckled girl statue. Take a right and you can’t miss it.” He took a long puff from his cigarette. “It ain’t the Hilton, but the sheets are clean and no one should bug you.” She nodded and gave her thanks once more, and headed to the main road. It seemed like her visit to the city of Fort Hampton was not starting off on the right foot.

  It had taken her longer than she would have liked to find a motel for the night, mainly because she had ended up getting turned around, even if the bus station attendant had given her pretty straightforward directions. Ruby was used to crowds, used to filth and shoulder-to-shoulder bodies as she moved down the street, but Fort Hampton seemed ten times worse than where she had lived. She was pretty sure the few women she had seen on the side of one street corner had been prostitutes, and the numerous homeless people that had been sitting in the corners of alleyways and against the sides of buildings had looked half dead. She had known this city wasn’t the best place to live, but it was the biggest close to her, and the one where she’d most likely find work. She would travel tomorrow toward the better parts of the city, hoping to check out any positions she found in the classifieds.