Because of you

by J. , Lea

  “Mm-hum, whatever you say,” I respond, a little distracted by nibbling on her earlobe.

  “Hey, I’m seriously asking you!” She pushes my chin upwards so I would listen to her. I raise my hands in defense.

  “I’m being serious too, I always am when it concerns lovemaking,” I say and trail kisses from her collarbone to her shoulders and her full lips.

  “Haven’t you had enough? In the morning in bed and an hour ago in the shower?” she asks, her eyebrow raised.

  “Never! I can never have enough of you,” I say and I fly us to ecstasy again.

  ~ * ~

  Aaliyah is lying on the exam table and I’m sitting beside her. We’re waiting for the OBGYN to join us.

  “Hello again, Miss Thomas.” She turns on the machine beside the exam table, washes her hands and reaches for the probe.

  “I’m so nervous,” Aaliyah exclaims with a shaky voice. She’s clutching my hands tightly and I can feel her palms are sweaty.

  “You don’t have to be. How are you feeling? You said you don’t have morning sickness anymore.”

  “I feel okay. Sometimes I get dizzy if I get up too fast, but otherwise I’m feeling alright.” The doctor nods to her.

  “Your pressure is fine, and you haven’t gained a lot of weight. I’m certain everything is going to be alright. Are you ready to find out who is hiding in here?” Doctor Gomez asks with a smile on her face, and squeezes some clear gel on Aaliyah’s belly. She slides the ultrasound probe over her skin. We both nod and wait for the news. She is quiet for some time, eyes fixated on the screen. “Well, it looks like everything’s okay.” We start breathing again, relieved, and look at the screen. She points her finger to the image on the screen. “This is the head, and look how the spine is clearly visible, arms and legs, too. Look,” she exclaims excitedly, “the baby is sucking its finger.” Aaliyah and I look at each other and tears are glistening in Aaliyah’s eyes. Doctor Gomez presses a few buttons on the computer and saves the footage.

  “Can you tell us the sex of the baby?” Aaliyah asks with interest.

  “Yes, I can tell you with certainty you’re having a cute little girl.”

  “A girl…” Aaliyah repeats dreamily and turns to me. Doctor Gomez wipes the goop off her belly with a paper towel and cleans the ultrasound piece that has been pressed against the belly of my beloved a few moments ago.

  “Congratulations. Get dressed in peace, and I’ll print out the pictures of the little cutie pie in the meanwhile.” She leaves the room and I hug Aaliyah tightly, kissing her passionately.

  First, we go to her room in the dorm to share the news with Addison and take her mail, since she’s been spending all her time with me. In a few weeks she’ll move in with me. Addison is jumping up and down in excitement, when we tell her she’s going to be an auntie to a little girl, and already starts planning what she’s going to buy for her niece. We quickly say goodbye, Aaliyah grabs the mail and we hurry back home, so we can share the news with my roommates, too.

  “What is wrong?” I ask her as I join her in bed. She’s holding some paper in her hand, but I can’t read the expression on her face.

  “I got the notice to appear in court – I have to testify against Caden,” my skin crawls at the mention of his name, “and the worst part is he’ll be present in the courtroom the whole time. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle such pressure.” I hold her hand and squeeze it encouragingly.

  “I’ll be by your side the whole time and I know you can do it – you’re one of the strongest women I know. Don’t worry.” I press a kiss to her forehead and take a picture of our little girl out of my pocket, so we can admire it for some time before we fall asleep.

  Aaliyah

  It is already the end of the school year, and I managed to successfully pass all the exams, even those from when I was in the hospital. Next week, we have a graduation ceremony in honor of those who graduated, Ryder among them. I am very proud of him. He graduated with honors, even though he spent all his time playing basketball, moving into a new house, preparing a nursery for our daughter and taking me to doctor’s appointments. We only moved a few streets away from where he used to live, so we’re still close to Addison and the campus. We’re two months away from becoming parents, but before that Ryder has to play the most important game of the season—the final game. He left with the guys a few hours ago, and I’m preparing the last details for the nursery. I’m arranging everything now, because in the next few months I won’t be able to move that much with my giant belly. It’s already difficult to do everyday chores now, I can't imagine how difficult it will be in two months when I’m due.

  “Done,” I say and look around the nursery as I put the last wall sticker, adorning the room of our little princess, on the wall. Ryder and I agreed on lavender as the color for the walls. Closets, the changing table and the crib are made of light natural wood with a white detail. I put a giant rocking chair against the wall and a tall floor lamp beside it.

  I have twenty more minutes, before Addison arrives to take me to the game, so I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I sit down in an armchair, rest my head on the back of the armchair and put my legs on the coffee table. I stare at my swollen ankles and sip the cold water that is very refreshing in this hot summer weather.

  “Gooo, Tigers!” everybody around us yells when one of Ryder’s teammates scores. The game has only just begun, it’s the third minute of the first quarter and the score is 7-5 in favor of the Tigers. The Wolves have just scored for a tie, and Noah throws the ball from under the hoop to Jayden, who then dribbles the ball across the midcourt line, where the Wolves are already waiting for him, covering the Tiger’s defenders. Ryder runs to Jayden, Jayden passes him the ball between the opponent’s legs, and Ryder dribbles the ball to the basket. Because he doesn’t have a clear path to the basket, he throws the ball to Jackson, who slam dunks the ball and scores. Excited cheers erupt from the audience again. The Wolves are in possession and they move the ball across the middle of the court, and are waiting for their opportunity to score a basket. Most of the audience are on their feet, excited about the game, but I’m only able to sit in my seat, my big belly not allowing me to stand. I feel a weird pressure in the lower side of my belly anyway, so I’m resting. A glance at the scoreboard tells me the first quarter is almost over. The Tigers are holding a small lead, but they’re doing great. Ryder is playing like his life depends on it, and so far he scored every time he shot.

  “They’re doing great,” Addison is radiating with pride as she finally sits down. We’re both wearing Tigers’ jerseys. I’m wearing pregnancy yoga pants and my hair is up in a ponytail, so I’m as comfortable as possible, but Addison on the other hand is wearing light blue jeans, her hair is styled in braids, with some soft curls falling around her face, making her look like a princess. Coach Collins gives the Tigers some final instructions, before the second quarter begins. Ryder is confidently walking to the middle of the court, waiting for the sound of the siren to announce the beginning of the second quarter.

  “Ow,” I groan out loud, clenching my teeth, and grab my belly. No one hears me because of the ruckus in the sports hall. A drop of sweat rolls down my forehead and soon I feel another cramp low in my belly. “What is happening?” I whisper, confounded. I wipe at my forehead with a sleeve of my shirt and take a few deep breaths. I look at the scoreboard to see how long until the game is over, and I shake my head when I see they still have a long way to go. I get feverish and I’m sick to my stomach. Addison is cheering again. Ryder has scored another basket and the audience are once again on their feet. When the cheers die down, I carefully get up. Perhaps a bit of fresh air will be good for me. It’s so stuffy in here, maybe that’s why I’m feeling so sick. I grab Addison by her elbow and tell her I’m going to the bathroom. She nods.

  “Is everything okay? Do you want me to go with you?” she asks with worry.

  “No, I’m alright, I’ll be back in a sec.” Ryder
notices me leaving and gives me a questoning look, but I only wave my hand like everything’s okay and point at the sign for toilets. He grins at me, nods and continues playing. Right before I step outside the door, I am hit with yet another powerful cramp, so I bend down and put my head between my knees and lean my hands against the wall. As the door closes behind me, I hear muffled noises and cheers. My palms start sweating, I’m still feeling sick and I grimace as I feel another sharp pain shoot through my belly. I reach out with my hand to grab the railing, but I reach nothing but air, and I hit my head on the cold floor.

  Ryder

  I feel like I’m floating in the air. I’m doing great, it is the biggest game of my life and I’m playing for all or nothing. I score every time I throw the ball. Scouts are watching us play and only a few players will get the opportunity to play in the NBA. I see Ethan is also nervous and he’s playing the best he can—he knows how important this game is. I’m glad Aaliyah came here to cheer for me, even though she’s heavily pregnant and would be better for her if she rested at home. She says she’s feeling okay and that she wants to be by my side, to support me in what I do. From the corner of my eye, I notice Aaliyah leaving the stands. I get concerned, but she just waves her hand and points to the ‘Toilets’ sign. I exhale deeply and continue playing. The game is getting so intense I don’t have time for anything other than concentrating on the ball and the plays. A few seconds before the end of the game, I bring the ball across the midcourt line with Ethan covering me, giving me a glare. I ignore his facial expression, dribble with my back to him and try to get closer to the basket, but suddenly he slams into me, hard. I fall to the ground and my ankle buckles. The referee’s whistle blows and a technical foul is called. It’s obvious Ethan did this on purpose. I carefully pick myself up, but my ankle is still hurting.

  “You gonna be okay?” Marc runs over to me, looking at me with concern.

  “Yeah, I just need a couple of seconds to walk it off.” He gives me a friendly slap on the back and runs back to his position, while the referee throws me the ball. I have two free throws to shoot. Ethan has to leave the court, and I throw the ball. I miss the first one, the pain in my ankle is still bothering me, but I focus solely on the ball and I score the second one. We have the ball in possession now and the game continues.

  After the extremely difficult game is over, which we won 95-90, I head to the bench to wipe the sweat off my shoulders and drink some water. I subconsciously look up into the stands where Aaliyah and Addison were just sitting earlier, but I don’t see them now. I am scouring the stands with my eyes when I hear someone calling my and Jackson’s name from the left. I turn around and Addison is standing there, radiating with joy and pride. I run to her and wrap her in a hug.

  “You guys were great,” she says with a grin on her face.

  “Thanks.” I look around the gymnasium again. “Where is Aaliyah?” She looks at me with eyes, wide open, and I can just hear her thoughts are all over the place.

  “She’s not here? I didn’t even notice she wasn’t sitting next to me. I remember her mentioning going to the toilet, and I haven’t seen her since.”

  “Damn it, Addy, that was almost half an hour ago.”

  “Don’t be so nervous, I’m sure she’s here somewhere, looking for you.” She’s probably right. I hear voices of people talking over each other all around me, but then we all hear a scream of horror from in front of the entrance door. A girl my age is screaming in panic and I can hear her saying something, but I’m too far away to hear. I catch a few bits of her rambling—something about a pregnant girl lying outside the door, and that someone should call the ambulance. In an instant, all the blood leaves my body and I run to the hallway, where I see Aaliyah lying in a pool of blood, motionless and pale, with eyes closed. Her normally red lips are devoid of color and look pale and tired. Her creamy skin now looks ashen. I kneel down next to her and put her head in my lap.

  “Aaliyah, baby, everything is going to be alright,” I say encouragingly, more to myself than anyone else. I blow my nose and wipe the tear that has escaped. Just as I raise her off the ground to take her to the emergency room, an ambulance arrives. Two paramedics pull a stretcher out of the ambulance and I lift her onto it, careful not to hurt her even more. I join them in the ambulance. “Are they going to be okay?” I ask with a shaky voice, as a paramedic takes her blood pressure. His face is full of compassion.

  “We’ll do everything in our power to save them,” he responds.

  The doctor who admitted Aaliyah to the hospital approaches us slowly. All my teammates and Addison are gathered around me and we’re waiting for the news with hopeful expressions on our faces. I’m still wearing my jersey and a towel is wrapped around my neck. I quickly stand up and go toward the doctor, others follow me. There’s tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife, but all my thoughts are with Aaliyah and my daughter. I pray everything will be alright.

  “Mister Knight, we brought your girlfriend to the OR…” I interrupt him.

  “Are they okay?” I ask, fear in my voice, and bow my head.

  “Miss Thomas was admitted to OR following an emergency C-section.” I instantly raise my gaze to his and my eyes are full of questions.

  “How? A C-section? She’s due in two months, that wasn’t supposed to happen yet.” My hands are shaking and I squeeze my fingers around my towel so hard my knuckles turn white.

  “Yes, as I said, it was an emergency. Your child was in fetal distress and we had no alternative but to perform a C-section. If we haven’t done that, we could have lost both of them.”

  “Fetal distress?”

  “This means your daughter wasn’t receiving enough oxygen. Now, she’s in an incubator and waiting for you to visit her.” My lips finally turn up. A heavy boulder rolls off my chest.

  “Th…this means she’s going to be alright?” The doctor nods, a smile on his face. “Wha…what about Aaliyah? How is she?” I stammer.

  “She’s alright as well. When she wakes up, she’s probably going to be a little disoriented, but they are both just fine.”

  “When can I see them?”

  “Whenever you want. It’s visiting hours now, so you can have some time with them.” I thank him profusely and quickly run toward the maternity ward, where all the women that gave birth are. I carefully open the door and my eyes stop on Aaliyah, sleeping peacefully. I slowly approach her bed and gently caress her, once again creamy, skin. Her eyes open and she seems confused, as if she doesn’t know where she is. She looks at me with eyes wide open and grabs her belly. Her eyes bulge as she realizes her big belly is gone.

  “What happened? Where is Emma?” I hold her hand, resting on her stomach, and smile at her comfortingly. We picked the baby’s name as soon as we found out it was going to be a girl, and we decided to name her Emma Hope, after her sister.

  “She’s perfectly fine, we’ll get to see her a little later.”

  “How? She shouldn’t be born yet, it was too soon, I wasn’t ready.” I kiss her to shut her up, and put my forehead against hers.

  “Emma was in danger and they had to perform a C-section. The most important thing is that everything is alright, nothing else matters.” She visibly relaxes and holds my hand tightly.

  Epilogue

  Aaliyah

  Two years later

  I’m standing on the stage of Mirage, reminiscing about the time when I used to work here. It seems like only yesterday, but a lot has happened in that time. Caden, Ryder, the pregnancy, Emma, marriage, and here I am again. As a guest this time. I was invited to sing a few songs from my debut album. Interesting, how it all turned out. I wanted to become a social worker, but I found my passion in singing, continuing Hope’s dreams. I must confess—I love what I do. My album is titled Because of You and it’s quickly climbing up the charts. People are starting to recognize me on the street, asking me for autographs. Each of the songs on my album represents one of my life experiences, and I’m so proud
of it. I direct my gaze toward Ryder and our little Emma. A pregnant Addison, Jackson and all our friends are sitting next to them. Even though life has taken us separate ways, we always find the time to get together and have fun, like today. Up on the stage, I sing about happiness, how it only takes a second for your life to turn upside down, how it’s not beneficial to build walls around yourself and keep people, who love you, away. Luck is love, and material things don’t matter if you’re not happy and loved. Love is power, and if you share it with others, you’re so very blessed.

  “I’m dedicating the next song to the man who showed me how to love again, to let happiness in my life. Ryder, I love you. This one’s for you.”

  Because of you

  All because of you

  Mmmm…

  I’m finally happy again

  Finally living my life again

  You tore down the walls and brought me happiness

  This feeling that I’m feeling

  Is so powerful,

  so strong.

  It’s all because of you, just because of you

  I’ll never let it go

  No, no

  I’ll never let it go

  Because of you

  It’s all because of you

  Yeah, yeah

  Because of you

  Because of you I can live again

  Breathe freely and sleep in peace

  My life is perfect

  Always happy

  Always full

  Thanks to you

  My love, thank you

  Because of you

  It’s all because of you

  Yeah, yeah

  Because of you

  I finish the song with my eyes closed, a smile creeping on my lips. Mirage is packed, people are clapping, and I take a bow, contentedly. This is one of my favorite songs from the album and I always tear up when I sing it. I am really blessed to have so many good friends, a husband and a daughter, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything in the world.