Ex-Daredevil

by Zoe Lee

  My cell was fused to my right hand, waiting for his next text but hoping for a call so I could hear his voice. While I waited, my camera roll was lit up with tiny thumbnails of picture after picture of Gavin or Gavin and me. It would have been pathetic, except I believed him when he texted soon, and I was focused on being ready to work this out.

  But when it rang and vibrated, Gavin’s name and picture icon popping up at the top, I screeched like a spider had just landed on me. Laughing at myself, sounding rusty because I had barely been sleeping, I swiped fast to accept the call before it could go to voicemail.

  “Gavin?” I croaked, knowing I sounded too hopeful and wrecked.

  “Hey,” he said, breezy like nothing had happened. “Come unlock your door.”

  I lurched to my feet, then forced myself to move at a sedate pace across the living room and down the stairs while I hummed and tried to be casual, patting my hair flat.

  When I opened the door, the last thing I expected to find was Barley Finn holding a big neon blue plastic container with BEAUTY SHIT written on a wide piece of masking tape. Another man in his late forties, who I recognized from Barley’s party, was next to him, holding two wide, short neon green plastic containers with BIKING SHIT on its masking tape label. Five other people, all strangers, were behind them, all carrying plastic tubs in varying neon colors and dimensions with masking tape labels. COMIC BOOKS & LUBE. FLUFFY SWEATERS. SHIT FOR THE CLUB. GLASS GLASSES. FRAMED PICS.

  There was no mistaking what this looked like, but I was sleep deprived and couldn’t make a connection between our fight and what was happening on my condo porch. I blinked and ran my tongue around my teeth, which I hadn’t brushed yet today.

  “Morning,” Barley said with a grin. “Going to move over and let me by?”

  Astonished, and kind of sure I was dreaming, I asked, “Uh, is Gavin here?”

  “Hi, baby!” I heard him call from behind all these people. “Just let them by, please.”

  Automatically, I acquiesced, stepping aside so that they were free to troop right inside, leaving Gavin in their wake. His hair was twisted in a knot high on top of his head and he was wearing a loose Barnyard top probably aimed at women and skin-tight running pants.

  I rushed over to him, yelping wildly, “What the hell is happening?”

  Carefree as you please, he bounced up and smacked a kiss to my lips.

  “Gavin,” I growled in warning, my eyes narrowing down to slits, even though my heart was beating wildly with hopefulness.

  “Hey, Eliott, can you open the garage too?” Barley called.

  “Not now, Barley!” I yelled. Suddenly remembering that I was wearing the damn cat pajama pants, which undermined any authority I might’ve had, I sighed. “It’s 94657.”

  “Wow, it’s so organized,” Barley complimented cheerfully.

  But my focus was fully on Gavin, whose beautiful eyes flickered with uncertainty.

  What had been a suspicion about what was happening firmed up into certainty, and I swallowed hard and asked him softly, “Sweetheart, what is all this? Are you really—?”

  “I told you,” he said quietly, before he took hold of my hips and steered me across the driveway and around the side of the house. The noise from the people Gavin had brought over faded enough that I felt like we had a modicum of privacy. “I’m serious about you and I’m madly in love with you, and I promised you that I’d think of a way to prove it to you.”

  Sunlight splashed across his face through the trees overhead. A butterfly flitted onto his topknot for a second. My eyes roved over his face hungrily.

  “I’m in love with you too,” I finally answered, simply. “But you don’t have to prove it. That’s not what I…”

  His gorgeous sly smile curved his lips slowly. “While we were at the Grand Canyon, we went whitewater rafting,” he began, still holding my hips firmly, “everyone was having a great time, but I got scared all of a sudden. I thought, if things get fucked up and I get hurt, then Eliott’s going to say I told you so and break up with me for putting him through that.”

  I gnawed my bottom lip. “I will always say I told you so, given the opportunity.”

  He smiled faintly. “Me too. And I know you wouldn’t break up with me unless I did something truly stupid and reckless, which I never have. Never will either.”

  “I know. It’s never even crossed my mind to give you an ultimatum about choosing your daredevilry or me,” I replied, brushing away a few leaves squirrels had shaken down out of the tree onto his shoulder, taking a moment. “I… as long as I matter more—”

  “You do!” he declared, his face going taut and fierce. “That’s what this is about, okay? I don’t usually have to explain myself to anyone and I trust my instincts, so I can’t always work out the details of how I get from a gut feeling to a decision. But I’m trying, so you’ll believe me when I say I’m madly in love with you, and I’m not going anywhere. I take this challenging, sexy thing between us very seriously. I love that we look mismatched from the outside, because it makes me feel like we share a secret world no one else can ever find.”

  That made me smile, even as I got choked up. “Who would’ve guessed it?”

  “Not me.” He laughed, then sobered and cupped my chin, stepping into me until every quick, hot exhale ghosted over my lips. “That’s how I should’ve started our conversation the other night, and then said I love you. But, Eliott, you want to see me take something seriously? Look at me—I take us seriously. So seriously, I realized how to prove it.”

  “By moving in?” I asked, a tad more incredulity in my tone than I’d intended.

  “Yeah.”

  I raised my eyebrows and tried to work up some outrage, since normal couples didn’t move in together after one of them unilaterally made the decision and just barged in. But there wasn’t a single shred of me that was torn or against this. It actually, perversely, made me love him even more that he’d managed to prove his love and commitment while simultaneously challenging me to stop him from moving in, thereby rejecting him.

  “Is your lease up at the end of the month?” I queried, keeping my expression and my tone cool and impeccable as if I were at work, because this was us, and I didn’t just roll over.

  “I sublet illegally,” he tossed back.

  “So you’re a fugitive and you think you can hide out in my very respectable condo?”

  Humor, and not a little bit of relief, danced in his eyes. “It’s not respectable now. Now it’s full of economy size lube, sparkly princess crowns, my sheets with fat baby dragons all over them, and mugs that have the best gay sex phrases on all of Urban Dictionary on them.”

  “Now that sounds like the opposite of serious,” I commented.

  It must have come out with a little less levity than I’d intended, because his eyelashes dipped down before they swept up again. “I’ve been kicked aside a hundred times, but this is the first time I’m asking someone to accept me. This is the first time I’m putting myself in someone’s path and demanding an answer because I deserve it just as much as you do.”

  I absorbed the hit, the rage on his behalf that people had treated him so poorly, or not even taken a second look at him to discover how amazing he was, and took a deep breath.

  “Yes, you do deserve it, just as much as I do,” I murmured, cupping his neck. “This isn’t going to be flawless, baby; I’ve never been to your illegal sublet, so I have no idea if you’re a complete slob or if you eat disgusting, cardboard frozen meals. We’ll fight over music.”

  “Oh, is that it?” He rolled his eyes and kissed me, moving against me slow and sweet.

  “Sorry,” I said when he pulled back, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”

  “I can handle sour morning breath,” he said, and it was so decisive and firm, I knew he wasn’t just talking about my taste. “I brought my big whiteboard and my rainbow of dry erase markers. We can make schedules and chore lists, and we can give each other gold stars and angry black X
marks and whoever loses each week owes the other a favor.”

  The quick answer told me that he’d actually thought about this, and had a lot of backup arguments and enticements lined up in case I wasn’t as easy or amenable as he’d been hoping. It seemed like a silly thing, but it was so thoughtful and so clever, so us.

  I kissed him again, smiling stupidly when he made a little whiny noise of joy.

  “We have to order pizza and run down the street for pop, so we can thank my friends for helping me pack and move,” he said once we’d both kissed each other breathless.

  Leaning back against the slender trunk of the tree behind me, I plucked at my pajamas tented over my erection. “I’ll do it. I just need to stand here a minute and calm down.”

  Gavin squeezed me and murmured in pure appreciation, “As long as I can rile you up again later, take all the time you need. I’ll just be flexing my cut muscles carrying heavy things and bending over to show off my cute ass while you do that.”

  “Damn it, Gavin,” I groaned.

  “I can do this every morning before you go to work, when you’re all prissy and perfect in your suits,” he said, eyes going wide as he obviously thought of this for the first time.

  My laughter was so light and loud, it sent a bunch of birds into the air, squawking.

  Chapter 39

  Gavin

  Late in the afternoon, Eliott and I were finally alone at his house.

  Our house.

  My heart had been racing off and on all day, the most nerve-wracking rush of adrenaline and joy I’d ever felt in my life, even more than BASE jumping or scuba diving near sharks. For most people, that physical reaction was a sign of danger or panic, a biological warning system. But for me, it was a sign that I was right where I wanted to be, right where I should be, because complacency was my enemy. There had been big breakthrough moments with Eliott, like the first time he’d bottomed, and little moments, like when he brought me socks because my feet were cold. In those moments, I’d wondered, was this it? Had we learned each other so well that there wouldn’t be any more surprises?

  But I’d never wondered for long, because Eliott had bottomless thoughts, a trillion intriguing and sweet and sad nooks and crannies that I loved exploring. I had always been confident that I was interesting, but it had always been anchored in the interesting things I did, like whitewater rafting or working for Barley. Before Eliott, no one else had been interested in who I was. He wanted to know what I was thinking and where those thoughts came from, and he loved when I led him through the leaps and curlicues of my experiences.

  So this was exactly where I was supposed to be, and I wanted to tell him again, now that we were alone and my belongings were at least stacked neatly in the right rooms.

  We were on the couch, Eliott kicked back with his feet on the coffee table, me lying with my head cradled on his thighs. We were discussing where to hang my art and photos and whose set of dishes should be the everyday ones. They were topics I would have considered as exciting as death a year ago, but they made me soar with happiness now.

  “Eliott,” I said, wiggling so I could meet his curious gaze.

  “You don’t like my idea for a new his-and-his medicine cabinet?” he asked mildly.

  I tilted my head back into his touch when he started to gently detangle my hair tie so he could rub my head and slide his fingers through my hair. “No, I’m super into that. I just wanted to say,” I began, not nervous but with the same thrill I got before I leaped off a cliff.

  But into the space where I was trying to… I wasn’t even sure, sum up everything I felt and everything I wanted, Eliott curled down and kissed my lips sideways, then my chin.

  “We’ll have to properly christen the place too,” he murmured, angling his head sharply so our eyes could meet. “Every room, every piece of furniture. Sturdy piece of furniture,” he amended quickly, rattling the delicate table next to his end of the couch to demonstrate.

  “I’m trying to be romantic,” I complained, but I knew I didn’t look mad about it.

  His eyebrows raised to provoke me, but he relented. “Go ahead then, woo me.”

  “I just need you to know,” I blurted out, woozy from not dressing it up this time, “I’m just… really glad you do accept me. And so happy that you love me too.”

  My ribs were vibrating with nerves, but Eliott only nodded slowly and swept one hand in a firm, settling touch from my hip up to my heart. “It’s a gift and I’ll never forget it.”

  I gulped and threatened my eyes with hot pokers if they didn’t quit watering.

  “And also,” he went on, a glint coming into his eyes, “I knew you made up that excuse about needing your skydiving gear back from me the night you called me out of the blue.”

  Gasping in outrage, I wriggled around until I could plop myself onto his lap.

  “Admit it,” he taunted, his fingers wedging into my tight leggings and trailing over my ass in another kind of taunt. “Admit you couldn’t get me out of your head after we met.”

  “Met,” I mocked with a wicked grin, grinding down onto his growing erection as subtly as one can grind, “I admit I wanted to go a second and possibly third round with you, yes.”

  “Please.” He shifted a bit, and then somehow was hauling me into his arms and hauling himself up off the couch at the same time, with barely a grunt. “You fell in love at first sight, just as much a daredevil in love as you are with skydiving. You just didn’t know it yet.”

  I nipped sharply along his throat, then nearly split my lip on my own teeth when he lost his grip at the sensation and sent us careening into the bathroom door frame.

  Once I I got my feet on the ground, I dragged him into the shower, heedless of our clothes, and cranked on the water, laughing madly while he shrieked, “Gavin! Nooo!”

  “Come on, baby, peel us out of these soaked clothes and let’s go two rounds.”

  “If I slip and fall trying to get these skintight leggings off you,” he threatened as he tugged them down my waist and thighs, “I’m never negotiating on a whirlpool tub.”

  That had me snickering, but I also swatted his hands away. “Safety first, Eliott!” I chastised him as if it had all been my idea. He relaxed back under the spray while I peeled my clothes the rest of the way off, then his, before I tossed them all out into the sink.

  I loved his taste and how he gave up his mouth so sweetly in between taking my mouth so sweetly, and the dance was a blast, to advance and be pushed back, to see who would lead and who would top. But today, we kissed lazily, tired and a little sore from the move and unpacking, the warm water soothing, and slicked our hands over each other.

  When the mood changed, it was a long, slow roll into pure desire, our every move timed for maximum effect, our thighs interlocked and our cocks trapped deliciously together between our stomachs. Eliott gripped the back of my neck and pushed me with inexorable, beautiful control into the shower wall, ravaging my mouth and moaning.

  My hand flung out blindly until I found a bottle, then I aimed and squeezed it, hissing in relief when cool, slippery gel splattered our torsos and made its way onto our cocks.

  “You’re not putting those dragonfly curtains up in the bedroom,” Eliott proclaimed while he pried our bodies apart just enough to get a strong hand around us both.

  “Your curtains are beige,” I sneered, but also moaned, as I shuttled my hips, glorying in the way my tip felt bumping over his. “I can never fall asleep, there’s too much light.”

  His hand tightened and sped up, making the water splash onto the bottom of the tub rhythmically, and he managed to counter, “Dragonflies’ dicks have barbs, it’s a hard no.”

  “Why do you—ohh holy hell, yes, please don’t sto—”

  Garbled pleas echoed in the shower, competing with the loud water, and I shuddered, clutching his shoulders like he was the only thing holding me together. Once it was too much for my softening cock to keep being stroked, he used his hold on my neck to urge me
to my knees. I bared my throat while I got my fingers between his cheeks to tease his hole, and as soon as I dipped in it, he made an impatient, pained noise and blew over his hand.

  Looking up at him, I let the water rinse away our come and said, “I will concede dragonflies don’t belong on our curtains, if you prove the barbed dick thing to me.”

  “Thank you, I’ll prove it as soon as I can feel my fingers again.”

  With a soft laugh, I climbed to my feet carefully and licked his chin. “Can’t wait.” I winked at him and added as I turned off the shower, “Can’t have round two otherwise.”

  “Not easily,” he mused, handing me a towel.

  “You’re thinking about your rope, aren’t you?” I laughed as we left the bathroom, which was as hot as a sauna since we’d been way too distracted to turn on the fan.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he teased, then sauntered off.

  Grinning, I sauntered right on after his glorious ass.

  Chapter 40

  Eliott

  Gavin and I had been living together for almost three months now, and it was a dream come true. It was all of the relaxed contentment of shared space and time I’d settled for with previous partners, except we also had all of the challenge and excitement we’d always had. It had been only my plain space, but Gavin’s arrival turned everything upside down, just like he’d turned my boring life upside down the day he crashed next to my car.

  My rigid schedule was shaken up even more. We had standoffs about who loaded the dishwasher and if we should combine our laundry or keep it separate. We had fights about finances, which neither of us had ever dealt with in a relationship, although he had experience since he’d had a ton of roommates. Sometimes he made plans and didn’t let me know until he was already on the way. Sometimes I lost track of time at work.