But what she hadn’t been prepared for—what all the books, songs, and movies hadn’t made clear—was just how much it would hurt. Oh, she supposed they made a big fuss over the pain. But there was knowing and then there was knowing.
This she could have done without. The worst part was, with the pain came a whole other kind of knowing. More like a certainty.
She loved Spencer.
Idiot that she was, she’d gone and fallen for her mark. There was no doubt in her mind, because this was true heartbreak. A first for her. And to have a first real heartbreak meant she’d found her first real love.
And she hadn’t realized it until it was too late.
She hadn’t planned on making a play for him when she’d gone to that Christmas Eve party. She’d told herself she was just going there to warn him, and maybe get some satisfaction out of seeing him one more time.
And if she was really being honest with herself, she might have even admitted that she’d hoped something would happen between them. Something like that kiss.
But she hadn’t planned on telling him she liked him, which she’d done multiple times. And she certainly hadn’t realized going into it that saying she liked him was an understatement.
The most ridiculous part about it was that she hadn’t even known the depths of her feelings until she’d realized she could never have him.
But he’d made that abundantly clear when he’d told her he could never trust him. And could she really blame him?
So now she was back to her old life. Eve was back, along with all their money problems. But they’d fix it. They’d survive. The Hallister sisters always survived.
They were similar to cockroaches in that way—but only in that way.
A tapping at her sister’s hospital room door had her and Lexy swinging around to face their visitor.
Holly’s hopes were dashed at the sight of Charlie in the doorway.
There had been zero reason to think that Spencer would seek her out, let alone track her down to her sister’s hospital room. Nevertheless, she was crushed to find Charlie standing in the doorway where she wished Spencer would be.
He motioned for her to come out into the hallway and she did, with Lexy in tow.
Charlie frowned at her little sister but that had no impact whatsoever. She’d filled Lexy in on their last little hallway showdown when he’d been a total jerk and there was no way Lexy would leave Holly on her own with him now.
So all three of them came to a stop in the hall. Charlie turned to her, pointedly ignoring Lexy, who leaned heavily on Holly’s shoulder. She was ready for his displeasure or maybe that pitying smirk.
What she wasn’t ready for was his charming smile, the one that gave her chills.
“Congratulations, Holly. Looks like it’s your lucky day.”
She looked to Lexy, who seemed just as confused. Then it dawned on her. “You heard about Eve?”
He blinked in incomprehension as though he’d never heard of Eve before. “What about Eve?”
Holly sighed. “Never mind. Why is it my lucky day?” Aside from her sister waking up, this was feeling like a pretty terrible day.
Charlie grinned again and she heard Lexy make a sound of disgust in her ear. So it wasn’t just her then.
“I heard from Jack,” he said. “He’s been in touch with his bosses and it seems there’s been a change of heart.”
She crossed her arms over her stomach. “What do you mean?”
He smirked at her suspicious tone. “Don’t worry, it’s a good surprise. You’ll get your payout after all, the full quarter million.”
The words didn’t compute mentally but they made her stomach do the cha-cha.
“They had a change of heart?” she repeated woodenly as Lexy’s hands dug into her arm at the words “quarter million.”
“Holy cow,” her sister muttered beside her.
This wasn’t right. It was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. It was tempting…but it was wrong. Even if she didn’t have qualms about getting paid for falling in love, her gut was telling her that this smelled rotten. What were the chances that Jack and his buddies had a change of heart?
“The banks are closed today, but the money will be wired next week, you have my word.”
She shook her head. His word meant nothing. Besides, it might have been Christmas Eve but she didn’t truly believe in Christmas miracles. Not outside of the movies, anyway.
“What’s the catch?” she asked, suspicion clouding her voice.
Charlie’s grin faltered and his gaze turned mocking. “No catch, Holly. Just take the money like a good little girl and say thank you.”
Lexy glared at Charlie with his “good little girl” remark. “Ew.”
Exactly. Holly couldn’t have said it better. Charlie was gross. Jack was a manipulative jerk. There was no way those two men—or the baddies behind them—came up with the idea of giving her the money she needed. She highly doubted the money came from their pockets at all. She glanced up at Charlie with suspicion. “The money isn’t from Jack, is it?”
Her heart rate was picking up its pace as a new suspicion took hold. She had no evidence. Nothing but her instincts and her knowledge of Spencer.
Charlie rolled his eyes in exasperation. His tone was condescending. “Look, take the money or don’t, I don’t care. I’ve done my part here.” He turned to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “You’re welcome.”
They were quiet for a second as Holly’s brain raced to make sense of this sudden windfall.
“He gives me the creeps,” Lexy said. When Holly turned to face her she was still looking after Charlie as he turned a corner.
“Me too.” That was putting it mildly.
Lexy turned to Holly. “So what gives? Why aren’t you psyched about the money? I thought this was what you wanted.”
“It is,” she said automatically, then she corrected herself. “It was.”
“But now…?” Lexy prompted.
“Now, I don’t want money I haven’t earned,” she said. “I don’t want their money.” She nodded toward the spot where Charlie had just walked out of sight.
“Of course not,” Lexy said. “Who wants to get in bed with the devil?”
Holly stared took a deep breath. There was no doubt in her mind. “Also,” she said slowly. “I don’t think the money is coming from them.”
Lexy was quiet for a moment and Holly could feel her stare. “Then who’s it from?”
“From Spencer.” The moment the words left her mouth, she knew she was right. It was the only answer that made sense. It was the money he’d saved for his house upstate. Stupid, stubborn man was willing to give her everything except forgiveness. But this was a good sign. It meant he might still care, maybe even enough to give her a second chance.
She heard Lexy’s loud exhale followed by a meaningful, “Whoa.”
“Yeah.” Her thoughts exactly.
“So what does that mean?”
“It means I might have a chance,” she said, excitement making her stomach dance again as her heart ached with hope. With hope came fear. She could be wrong. What if she was wrong? She couldn’t bear it if she was. She’d put herself on the line earlier today and his rejection had nearly killed her.
Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, but that was what it had felt like. As if her heart had been sliced open. If she went to him now and she was wrong…
“Uh oh.” Lexy nudged her arm and donned a stage whisper that was loud enough to wake the dead. “Incoming.”
Holly’s head shot up. Spencer?
No, of course it wasn’t Spencer. When was she going to get it through her head that he wasn’t coming for her?
It was the detective, the one she recognized from the halls of the hospital and from the Christmas party earlier today. What was he doing here?
“Ladies,” he said. When he gave them a smile, Lexy sighed and it sounded like a swoon. Oh dear, her little sister was clearly not immune to his looks.
He had nothing on Spencer, as far as she was concerned, but she supposed she could appreciate his allure. Even now when she had a bad feeling he was here in an official capacity for her…or worse, for Eve.
“Holly,” he said. His tone was friendly. Convivial, even. Almost like they were old friends and not strangers who’d only glanced at each other in passing.
“Detective,” she said. It wasn’t like she could pretend she didn’t know who he was. She’d learned her lesson in trying to be anything less than forthright. It didn’t suit her. “What can we do for you?”
His smile turned to Lexy and she willed her tipsy sister to refrain from swooning again. Her sister did her proud when she merely smiled. Granted, Holly was pretty sure her sister was thinking about sex when she smiled, but she let it go.
“Could I have a moment alone with your sister?” the detective asked Lexy.
Lexy, still smiling that flirty smile, shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere. If you have something to say to my sister, you can say it in front of me.”
Holly looked to Lexy and saw no sign of sexy thoughts. She was still smiling but her posture and gaze were made of iron.
Sometimes she wished she could be more like Lexy. While she stood strong, she had a feeling her smile was ingratiating. Sweet, even.
The detective didn’t seem fazed by her sister’s iron will. His smile only grew as he extended a hand. “Detective Eddie Gonzalez, and you are?”
Lexy’s brows arched. “I have a feeling you know exactly who I am, detective, considering you’ve been watching my sister like a hawk for months now.”
Holly turned to her with wide eyes. “He has?”
Lexy’s smile warmed with amusement as she met Holly’s stare. “Not you, sis. I meant Eve. He’s been on her like white on rice.”
Eddie didn’t try to deny it. He didn’t even flinch when Lexy adopted the stage whisper again to add, “If you ask me, I think he’s got the hots for her. But then, who doesn’t?”
Holly had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at her sister’s antics. A little joking was exactly what she needed to remember that she had nothing to fear from this man. Spencer had taken care of that when he’d dealt with his father.
“So, Detective, what can we do for you?” she asked, her smile slightly less ingratiating.
“Believe it or not, I’m here as a friend—”
“You’re his friend?” Lexy interrupted, looking to Holly.
Holly shook her head. “Nope.”
Eddie looked like he was torn between amusement and frustration. “Fine, I’m here as Spencer’s friend.”
Spencer’s name made her stiffen defensively. “What do you want?”
Eddie’s gaze softened. “I know you’re his friend too so I’m not going to ask you any questions about how you came to be involved with Charlie.”
She kept her mouth shut, waiting anxiously for him to continue.
When he realized she wasn’t going to offer up any information, he continued with a weary sigh. “Look, you got lucky this time. Spencer put an end to whatever you were involved in so no harm done, I suppose. But next time you might not be so lucky. You won’t have Spencer watching out for you.”
His words stung more than he knew. She had a feeling he was grasping blindly—clearly he didn’t know the details of what she’d been involved in any more than she did. But one thing was clear, it hadn’t happened. The job hadn’t taken place. They hadn’t made their money.
Any doubts she had that the money wasn’t coming from Jack were erased.
She inhaled so quickly Lexy and the detective both gave her curious looks. “Sorry,” she said, “but there’s somewhere I need to be.”
She started backing away, a silly grin taking over her face as she realized her initial hunch had been correct. The money was from Spencer, which meant…he cared.
There was still hope for them after all.
Giving Eddie and her sister a little wave, she made her excuses—sort of. “I’ve got to go see someone. Lex, I’ll see you later. And, Detective,....”
He raised his brows in question and she realized she had nothing to say. She shrugged, “Um…Merry Christmas?”
This hallway was her own personal purgatory. Why did every epic breakthrough moment in her life seem to take place while she hovered in front of Spencer’s door?
She knocked three times, loud and fast. There was no turning back now, not even if she wanted to. But she didn’t want to. She needed to see this through. He cared about her, she was sure of it. No man just handed over a quarter of a million to a woman for no good reason.
The memory of his earlier rejection still stung and it was fear of a repeat performance of that afternoon’s heartbreak that had the butterflies in her stomach acting up. She could have her heart broken for the second time that day. There was every possibility she’d leave here humiliated and more miserable than ever.
She heard him approaching on the other side and did her best to shove aside those negative thoughts. Now was not the time for self-doubt. If she loved this man, which she did, now was the time to show it. Now was the time to fight for him. After the way she’d deceived him, he deserved nothing less from her.
The door swung open quickly and she forgot her opening line. She’d spent the entire subway ride over here drafting the perfect apology followed by an even better argument about why he should give her another chance. But now, looking him in the eye, she couldn’t think of anything except how badly she wanted to kiss him.
“Holly,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
While her verbal skills might have taken a hiatus, adrenaline coursed through her, adding to her sense of urgency. This was it. Her last chance. With that thought in mind, she decided not to waste time on words and forced her way in. He backed his chair up as she rudely pushed past.
There. She was inside his apartment now. There was no way he could slam the door in her face. It wasn’t an epic triumph but it was a start.
She would have thought he looked amused by her behavior if he didn’t look so tired, so weary. His normally clean-shaven face bore the stubble of a five o’clock shadow and his eyes had a gritty redness to them that said he was in desperate need of sleep.
Well, sleep she couldn’t give him but if he was anywhere near as depressed as she was at the thought of being apart then maybe she could help.
A little voice of reason told her she had no reason to think he was depressed. It was entirely possible she was the only one aboard the lovesick boat. But then his gaze met hers again and beneath the exhaustion and the cynical amusement, she saw it.
He was miserable.
Thank goodness.
Maybe it was irrational but seeing the man she loved so unhappy brought a wave of joy. She had to believe that his unhappiness was because of her. Because of them. Or rather, because of the lack of them. The non-themness where there once had been a them.
Apparently her joy was obvious because he raised one brow in question. “You look like you’re having a better day then I am. Did you get some good news?”
His dejected tone made her that much happier. He’d thought she was ecstatic because of the money. Oh, the poor fool. He had no idea how much he meant to her.
She needed to change that.
Not even trying to hide her grin, she moved closer to him. She marked it a success when he didn’t try to back away. “I am having a good day,” she said. “A great day, in fact.”
He rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses before looking up at her, a whole world of weary in his posture and his gaze. “Oh yeah?”
She nodded. “Do you know why?”
He gave her a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Tell me.”
She took a deep breath. “Because I realized how much you care about me.”
He blinked at her, his expression giving nothing away.
For a second she wavered, fear sweeping through her and leaving her frozen. What if she’d g
otten it all wrong?
But then she saw his nostrils flare and his breathing pattern change. It wasn’t much of a tell but it was something. He wasn’t as unflappable as he’d like her to think. Somehow that was enough for her to fight against the fear and push past it.
It also helped to know that he needed her to fight for them. She had to be strong for both their sakes. It was always easier to be brave when someone she loved was leaning on her. She focused on that now. If she didn’t make him admit that he cared about her, he’d go even further into his isolated little world. If she didn’t get close, who would?
Scratch that thought. She couldn’t let herself think of any other woman he might meet someday. He was hers. They fit.
He still hadn’t spoken—not to admit that she was right, but not to deny it either. Maybe it wasn’t a win but it wasn’t a loss either. Finally, he said, “How do you figure?”
Ugh. He was not going to make this easy. “Well, you see, some dummy promised to give me a whole lot of money today.”
He didn’t so much as flinch. “Really?”
“Mmm.” She took another step toward him so she could place a hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t much by way of touching but she needed the feel of him to help keep her strong. “See, I know the money isn’t coming from your father or any of his people.”
He shifted beneath her hand but she didn’t budge. He also didn’t speak. Smart man, he knew better than to show his cards.
“I know the money is from you,” she said.
His expression was admirably blank. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She rolled her eyes. There was no way she was going to argue with him about this. If she was wrong—and she wasn’t, not about this at least—then she would just have to face the humiliation later. She had bigger fish to fry and topics to tackle. “Let’s skip the part where you deny it and get to the part where I tell you how I’m not going to take it.”
That got a response, at least. His brows furrowed and he glared up at her. “Why not?”
She sighed. This was another argument she’d rather avoid. “Spencer, I’m not taking your money and that’s final.”
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