Leaning forward between the seats, she puts her hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re tired and probably just want to go home, but Mack needs me at the club now. Do you mind if we stop there real quick? I promise we won’t be long.” Her voice is laced with concern, probably because this would be the first time I would be going to the clubhouse. Though Dani has informed me of that way of life and how things work, I’m a little nervous about actually seeing some of the things she’s mentioned, mainly about the “club whores.” Let’s hope it’s not too bad.
I nod my head, hoping she takes my lack of answer as just being tired like I said and not what it really is, which is that I’m really fucking nervous about going. But also because I can’t get what happened at the diner out of my head.
Toby turns us around and heads in the direction of the club, or that’s what I assume, at least. Maybe I can just wait in the truck for Dani to talk to Mack, or maybe Toby will drop her off and take me back to my apartment.
Five minutes later, Toby pulls into a lot near a row of bikes. I’m surprised when he puts the truck in park and turns off the ignition. They both get out of the truck, but not knowing what I’m supposed to do, I stay buckled in and don’t move.
My door opens and Toby looks at me questionably. I don’t answer, not sure what the question is, and just stare at him. “I gotta go in to make sure everything’s okay. I don’t really want to leave you out here by yourself…” he leaves the sentence hanging, waiting for me to get out of the truck. When I still don’t make a move to get out, he shakes his head and reaches around me to unbuckle my seatbelt. “Come on, Doll, we won’t be long.” He physically lifts me out of the truck, only putting me back on my feet once we’re right in front of the door.
I don’t see Dani anywhere, so I assume she’s already inside, looking for Mack.
Toby places his hand on the small of my back, ushering me inside the club. Once inside, I take note of how loud it is. How did I not hear the music from outside?
There are people everywhere―scary looking men sitting on stools at the bar, some with women between their legs, and some by themselves. There are men playing pool with a few girls standing off to the side, and men sitting on couches with women either draped over their laps or straddling them. All the girls in here are dressed in clothing that would rival a stripper.
Looking around some more, I come across a couple in the corner. Holy shit! Are they fucking?
Averting my eyes, I decide that it will be safer to not look around and keep my eyes down.
Toby gently urges me forward, moving towards the bar, and whispers, “I know it’s a lot to take in, Doll, but just stay with me. No one will hurt you here, I give you my word.” I just nod my head, afraid if I open my mouth, he’ll hear how nervous I really am.
When we reach the bar, Toby pulls out a stool and offers it to me. Without looking to see who I’m sitting by, I take the seat and stare at the wood that makes up the bar.
“What can I get ya?” I hear a deep voice ask close by, but I still don’t look up.
“Give me a Bud Light. What do you want, Sara?” Wanting to calm my frayed nerves a bit, I ask for a beer as well. Seconds later, two bottles of Bud Light are set down in front of us. Taking the bottle, I chug half its contents before putting it back down. Toby laughs softly and runs his hands up and down my back. “Relax,” he says before taking a sip of his own beer.
After a few minutes, I decide to brave the room again and take another look around. I hope the couple in the back are done fucking, or at least moved the party into a room with a door, but just to be safe, I don’t look in that general direction.
On second inspection, I notice that the men don’t look as scary as I first thought. I mean, they are rough looking, covered in tattoos, wearing leather, and they’re all packed with muscle, but I can tell by looking at the way they interact with each other that they don’t look all that bad. I mean, I’m sure they can all be scary if the situation called for it, just like I know Toby can be when he wants or needs to, but the vibe I’m getting off of these men isn’t anything that that would make me feel uncomfortable. Plus, knowing that Dani calls these men her family and knowing what they’ve done to help her, they can’t be that bad, right?
Speaking of Dani, I see her talking to an older man, who I assume is Mack. They are walking into the bar area from what looks like the hallway. He looks old enough to be her father, but he’s young looking as well, if that makes sense. He’s tall and broad, packed with muscle, has short, dark hair that looks to be graying in areas, but his face is what catches my attention. The look he has when speaking to Dani is a look I would assume a father makes to his daughter. My parents died when I was very young and then I was placed with a foster family, so I don’t really remember them, but if my father was still alive I would want him to look at me that way; loving and proud, all at the same time. I can also tell that this man is most likely the scariest of them all, but probably the most gentle, as well.
From what Dani’s told me, he is the saving grace she needed to get her life back together when she left her hometown four years ago. He is most certainly a man I want to know and have on my side, but I have no idea how to go about making people like me the way they like Dani.
I see her nod her head, then look around the room until her eyes land on me. She smiles and leads him over to where Toby and I are sitting at the bar. When they stop in front of us, Dani introduces us.
“Sara, I’d like you to meet Mack, the President of the Forsaken Sinners. Mack, this is my friend, Sara. She’s helping out at the shop and staying in the upstairs apartment.” Mack looks to her for confirmation on something, then turns to me and smiles while he offers me his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. Dani has told me a lot about you.” Not sure what she would have told him, I just smile and shake his hand.
“Hi,” I say in return, offering him a polite smile.
Mack turns his head and looks at Dani. They seem to be having a silent conversation between themselves. Just by looking at the two of them, I can tell this is something they have perfected and do a lot of.
When Dani looks back in our direction, she steps towards Toby. “I need to steal you for a couple of minutes. Mack, why don’t you take Sara into your office where it’s quieter?” Toby looks between Mack and Dani, then at me with a silent question in his eyes, asking if I’ll be all right. He seems torn and guilty about leaving me. Not wanting him to worry about me when Dani needs him, I smile, assuring him that I’ll be fine and turn to Mack.
He offers me his arm and once I take it, he leads me back the way he and Dani had just came from.
Once inside what looks like a small office, he leads me to a couch that’s set off to one side of the room before taking a seat next to me. “So, tell me about yourself, Sara. What brings you to our neck of the woods?” I give him a nervous chuckle. He would go right to the hardest question. I wring my hands in my lap and think about how much I should tell him.
Deciding to go with the truth, or most of the truth, I tell him the story that I wanted to leave home, so I left. I got in my car and just drove till I wound up here. I don’t want to go into the details with him, but I have a feeling he’s not going to be satisfied with my vague answer.
After I finish, he just sits there and stares at me, almost like he’s waiting for me to continue, but deep down, he knows that I won’t.
Standing up from the couch, he walks over to the desk and sits down behind it. He brings his right hand up and rubs his index finger along his lower lip while the other hand taps on the arm of his chair. He hasn’t stopped looking at me since he sat down and I start to feel uncomfortable. I know he won’t hurt me, but the way he’s looking at me, I can tell he’s trying to read me.
“Look. I understand that you don’t know me from Adam, and you certainly don’t trust me, but I just want you to know that I’m one of the good guys.” He stands up and begins pacing, “I’m not sure what Dani has told you about
when she first came into town, but when she came into my shop, she was running away from her old life and looking to start over. I gave her a job, a place to call home, and offered protection if she needed it. Thankfully, the only thing she was running from was herself and not some lunatic, but that’s her story to tell, not mine. So, the bottom line is this. I offered her a safe haven and protection, and I’d like to do the same for you. Now you don’t need to tell me everything, but I need to know enough to be able to spot trouble if it comes knocking, because I have a strange feeling that it will.” He’s quiet for a moment, giving me time to let what he’s saying sink in.
I do know a little about what happened to Dani, but not the whole story. She only told me she was once in my shoes and Mack, along with this club, helped her when she didn’t have anyone. With what I know of Dani, I know that she’s someone who inspires me, someone that lets me know that people can overcome their pasts and make their lives better. I want what she has, and if it means laying all my dirty laundry out for Mack to see, then that’s what I’ll do. It would be nice having someone watching my back and be there for me. I don’t know Mack, but I can tell that he means what he says, and he’ll do anything he can to help me.
Taking a deep breath, I decide that in order for him to help me, or at least let him decide if he still wants to help me, I need to tell him everything.
I motion for him to take a seat and begin telling him what led to me to leave and end up here.
“What I told you was the truth, but not everything. I did live in New York, but with my ex-boyfriend. I’d tell you the short version, but I suppose you need to know it all?” He gives me a small smile, then nods for me to continue. “We’d been together for about five years, but during the last year and a half, things went downhill. Actually, now that I think about it, I can’t say that we ever really had a “good” relationship, but the last year or so, it was bad―the worst. He was always kind of a jerk and possessive, but I just thought he was your typical alpha-male type of guy, and to be honest, I liked it in the beginning, especially because we'd been together so long, it made me feel important. As time passed, he became obsessed with being in control and was jealous over the littlest things. He would always make rude comments about me, the things I did, or what I wore. After three and a half years of going through the motions of what people call a “relationship,” things with him began to escalate, turning into harsher words, only to turn into harsher actions. His control over me became suffocating. He told me I was starting to look fat and that I dressed like a slut, so he went through all my clothes and threw half of them away before taking me shopping to buy only things he approved of. Then he demanded that I stop hanging out with my friends. He would tell me what time I needed to be home, and when I didn’t always make it on time, he hid my keys, telling me that I must have lost them. He was supposed to take me to get another set from the dealership, but that never happened, so I was stuck with only him for transportation. He made me dependent on him for everything.” I stand up and start to pace in the same spot Mack was pacing moments before, needing to be doing something besides sitting there and reliving everything that Rick did to me.
“Before I knew it, he was the only one I had in my life. He had officially made sure that the friends I had were no longer there for me and even my co-workers stopped talking to me. He wanted me to quit so I couldn’t leave the house at all, but since he liked having extra money to spend on gambling, he let me continue to work. The only reason I still had my own apartment was because I’d have to pay more money than he was willing to give up just to get out of my lease. He never let me stay there unless he was with me, but I was thrilled that I still had it because it was the only thing that was truly mine anymore.
His jealous rants turned physical. He started with slapping, then went to punching and beating me anywhere that could be hidden with clothes. I knew I needed to get out of there, but every time I tried to leave, he would catch me and beat me to the point that I was too scared to leave anymore. I’d given up on the idea of ever getting away, so there I stayed.” Taking a deep breath, I try to compose myself as much as possible, knowing that the worst part is coming next.
“One night, he came home late from work and was mad that I went to bed without him. I guess he thought I shouldn’t be able to sleep unless he gave me permission to. I woke up to him grabbing my ankles and pulling me out of bed. He was yelling at me but I couldn’t understand anything he was saying, he was slurring so bad. He started dragging me into the hallway and towards the bathroom, and I instinctively started kicking out, hoping I could distract or hurt him long enough for him to release me so I could get away. I was able to catch him in the crotch, but it wasn’t anywhere near hard enough. It only caused him to drop my feet and start punching me in the stomach, and a few times in my face. It hurt me enough that I stopped struggling, which allowed him to rip off my pajama pants and panties. He was going to rape me. In all the years we had been together, even when he was abusing me, he had never forced himself on me. We barely even had sex by that point, but that was because he was out screwing other women because I disgusted him. He said that I needed to lose weight before he would touch me again. I knew I wasn’t overweight, but if that’s how he felt, then I was good with it. It kept him from touching me.”
I look Mack in the eyes, “I knew if he succeeded, I wouldn’t be able to come back from that. It was one thing to deal with the hits and verbal abuse, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to get over being raped.” I know it makes me look weak in his eyes that I stayed and let it go on for as long as it did, but I just need him to understand.
“My eyes landed on a small statue that must have fallen to the ground in the struggle, or maybe on his way to the bedroom, who knows, but I saw it and wiggled just enough to reach it. Rick was too busy trying to spread my legs and keep me from kneeing him in the balls to notice that I now had a weapon. Without even thinking, I hit him over the head as hard as I could, repeatedly, until he fell to the side of me, dazed from the blows until he went completely limp. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive and at that moment, I didn’t give a shit. I got up, pulled on my pants, and ran out the door.”
Now that the hard part was over, I felt a calmness take over my body. It actually felt pretty good telling someone the whole story. “I had found my keys that he’d hidden and I knew I had a getaway bag still hidden in my trunk from the last time I tried to run, so I didn’t grab anything from the house. I didn’t go to my apartment. I just got in my car and drove until I wound up here.” Wrapping my arms around myself, I look up at the ceiling and wait for him to speak.
It felt like hours, years even, before he finally spoke. “Do you think he’ll come after you?” I almost smile because knowing Rick and how he operates, I feel pretty confident with my answer.
“No. Even if he had looked for me, he would’ve given up by now.”
Mack looks at me with doubt. “What if he has found you, but he’s waiting to make a move?” He makes a solid argument, but he doesn’t know Rick like I do.
“He would have approached me already. He isn’t a patient man, so if he knew where I was, he would’ve made a move already.”
After thinking about that for a moment, he nods his head. “Okay.” He stands up and walks over to me. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he gives me a reassuring squeeze. “You did good, Sara. You got yourself out of a bad situation. You did whatever it took to make sure you were safe. And I know it wasn’t easy telling me that, but I needed to know. I’ll keep my eyes open for any trouble, but you come to me if anything feels off or you see him around. Do you have a picture of him so I know who I’m looking for?” I nod my head and open my wallet. I only have one picture of him and it’s from when we first got together, but he hasn’t changed much.
Pulling it out, I hand it to him. “It’s an older photo, but he looks the same, just older.” Mack studies the picture, then puts it in his pocket before slowly walking us out of the office and b
ack towards the bar.
“I won’t tell anyone what you told me, but I am going to pass this picture around for the guys to keep an eye out for him. They won’t know it’s related to you, though. I promise you that.” I feel so much gratitude toward this man that I can’t help but stop in my tracks and hug him tightly.
“Thank you,” I whisper in his ear.
“Anytime, sweetheart. Whatever you need, you just let me know, all right?” He says, but this time I just nod my head, afraid if I say anything more, I’ll start to cry again and I don’t want to do that in front of a crowded bar.
I start walking towards the bar, but stop short when I see Toby sitting there, but he’s not alone. My sudden stop has Mack looking at me with concern, then he follows my eyes across the room.
“Is there anything going on with you and him that I need to know about?”
I should be embarrassed that he’s asking about my relationship with Toby, but knowing more about Mack and the way he works, it doesn’t really surprise me that he’s already caught on, even if I’m only now just starting to realize my feelings. “Well, it’s kind of complicated. We met at the gym, then again when he found me working at the strip club. All I know is that when I’m with him, I feel safe and wanted, but that scares me after everything I went through with Rick. I mean, I have no idea who Toby is or what he wants with me. The way he is sometimes reminds me of the way Rick would act, but I don’t want to believe Toby is anything like him in any way. What I do know for sure is that I like the way he makes me feel most of the time, and I can’t stay away from him.”
Mack puts his arm around me and squeezes. “Sweetheart, Toby is an intense man, but I know for a fact that he would never hurt you or try to control you. Hell, he’d go to the ends of the earth to make sure you’re safe. That’s just the type of person he is; he’s a fierce protector.” He releases a long sigh and stands in front of me so I have no choice but to look at him. “Take a chance. Sit down and tell him about your worries. You need to be open and honest, and see where the road takes you. Who knows, maybe he’s exactly what you need.” With that, he leads me toward the man in question.
Fighting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC; Book 2) (Forsaken Sinners MC Series) Page 7