The Governor's Daughter (Winds of Change Book 1)

by Jerri Hines

  “I wasn’t aware. I had thought it was your father’s. It is good to know,” she answered. “Now I feel as if I’m the mistress of the house.”

  He took her hands up to his lips. “As well you should, but more importantly, I have given Mr. Hamilton all my listings. I have set up a will for you and our future child.”

  Cathryn caught her breath as a warmth flooded her face. “Philip, how did you even consider?”

  “Let me just say I know it’s a possibility. A possibility that fills me with great joy. With Christmas coming, if we find out for certain, I would like to tell Mother. She will be ecstatic.”

  “I had hopes of telling you for Christmas, my dear husband,” she reprimanded him. “Now I will have to come up with another plan.”

  “I have you and that’s all I need,” he said and kissed her.

  * * * *

  Cathryn was worried. Philip had a look about him that hinted his health wasn’t what he wanted her to believe.

  He had strange red spots upon his arms and legs. He fatigued at times and his night sweats continued. Try as she might, her fear grew daily. She watched, but tried desperately to hide her concern from him.

  Mary, also, had expressed worry. She had found him at times grimacing in pain. Cathryn made a decision. It couldn’t go as it had. She wrote to his mother, asking specifically for the name of the doctor that Philip had seen. She wanted to talk to the doctor herself.

  Within the week, the Duchess of Eversleigh was at their door.

  * * * *

  When Malcolm announced the Duchess, it took Cathryn by surprise. Philip had given her the impression that his mother would be joining them for Christmas, She hadn’t heard personally from Her Grace, but Cathryn hadn’t expected to be welcomed with arms open wide, not after the scandal Cathryn was certain occurred.

  She had asked only for the name of the doctor. Philip had been evasive. She had thought it might have been better if they traveled to London for Christmas, in that way to visit his family, and for him to see this doctor once more. She could go with Philip and have the doctor explain his condition to her.

  She was certain Philip wouldn’t want her to travel now she had confirmation that she was indeed expecting. When she told him that it was a certainty, the look upon his face was one she would never forget. She thought she saw tears well up in his eyes. She was happy, but worried.

  “Your Grace.” Cathryn stood upon her entrance. “I’m so glad you came down, but we weren’t expecting you. I’ll have Malcolm make up your room.”

  “What is going on, Cathryn?” she said in a cool and aloof tone. “What have you done?”

  “I’m not quite sure what you are asking, Your Grace,” Cathryn responded. “I can understand that you may not be pleased with our news, but I can assure you that I’ll try to make Philip happy.”

  “That is exactly why I’m here. Philip, happy? Why are you writing expressing concern over his health? Where is he?”

  “I’m right here, Mother,” Philip said, coming in the door. He gave a look toward Cathryn. He walked over and kissed his mother’s cheek. “I have been quite the delinquent son. Now, I have no choice. I’m going to have to confess everything to the two women I love the most.”

  “I don’t understand, Philip. You up and disappear before your wedding. The whole of London was abuzz. Your father…I’ve never seen him so angry. He won’t even say your name he’s so mad. I’ve had no word from you. Your father said that you had left the country, traveling abroad to find yourself! Then I get a letter from Cathryn stating concern over your health!”

  Philip led his mother to a high wing-back chair. “Have a seat, my dearest mother. I will explain everything.”

  Cathryn stood with her mouth slightly open. Philip hadn’t told anyone. He was hiding. “I thought…”

  He walked over to her and placed his arm about her. “I know,” he said and leaned over and kissed Cathryn’s open mouth. He turned back to his astonished mother. “Mother, let me introduce my wife, Lady Cathryn.”

  Shock overcame the Duchess’ face. She sat speechless. Philip smiled and helped Cathryn take a seat beside him.

  * * * *

  Cathryn left Philip to talk with his mother. They needed to be alone. At most times, Cathryn would have been enraged. To have kept their marriage a secret from his mother! She could have looked upon it as he was ashamed of her, but she realized something was going on with Philip.

  Cathryn lay down for a nap, but she couldn’t sleep well. Her thoughts wandered to Philip and his mother. She wanted to be beside Philip to help defend him, but it was his mother.

  She lay upon her bed and thought back over the last three months. How unsure she had been to marry Philip and how much her feelings had changed. She had been in need. He had filled it. He gave her back life.

  She couldn’t sleep. She walked back down the stairs. The sound of weeping echoing out into the foyer startled Cathryn, gave her pause; Philip and his mother were talking softly.

  “Does she know?” the Duchess asked, choking back tears.

  “No, I don’t want her to know yet. Give her Christmas, Mother. Please. Can you do this for me? You will stay, won’t you? I want you here. Cathryn,” his voice slightly cracked, “I don’t want her upset in her condition. You’re going to be a grandmother. Can you imagine that?” He laughed.

  Cathryn’s legs weakened as she comprehended the words spoken. Her hand instinctively reached for her stomach as if gathering strength from her child. Philip was ill. She had to collect herself. If he was ill, he would need her to nurse him through all. She had to be strong.

  * * * *

  Philip went all out for Christmas. The house was decorated and festive in appearance. The Duchess, as she had done in the past, stood by her son, never once mentioning to Cathryn anything about the wedding scandal. Cathryn made her beloved son happy and for the Duchess of Eversleigh that was all she needed to know at this time.

  Cathryn heard the Duchess tell Philip she had written for his father to join them here at Trafford, but he had steadfastly refused. Cathryn wished he had taken the invitation, for in Philip she had seen the void his father’s refusal left. But Cathryn played her part for Philip. She didn’t have to pretend when she was caught up with all the activity of the holiday. It was only when she stopped that her fear for Phillip crept back to the surface.

  Cathryn found herself not feeling well. The constant nausea, not being able to hold down food, but Her Grace assured her that it was normal. Cathryn fought through it for she had a great desire to enjoy this Christmas.

  The Duchess helped Cathryn with her gifts, taking her into the village. Cathryn got caught up with the excitement of the season. She picked out a beautiful brooch for Mary. For Tacy, she picked out a silk scarf she knew she would love.

  The Duchess helped with all the presents, and if any of the neighbors thought strangely of the two, it wasn’t noticed. Her Grace greeted all in her usual friendly manner, asking after their families. Cathryn had a growing admiration for her mother-in-law.

  “I wanted to see if I could find a watch for Philip,” Cathryn said. “I hadn’t an idea of what to get someone that seems to have most everything. I want him to have something to remember our first Christmas together. He gave me something special I’ll always treasure.” She held out her hand and stared at her ring. “He told me my ring was his grandmother’s.”

  “It was. She was very special to Philip. She spoiled him rotten, as we all have,” the Duchess said. She had a faraway look in her eyes. She took Cathryn’s hand and squeezed it tight. “Come. I know a jeweler.”

  * * * *

  Cathryn felt content with all she had gotten as the carriage rode into the circular drive. She had been assured the watch would be readied by Christmas.

  Tired, she only had one desire—to take a small nap before dinner. As she exited, she noticed a horse being held by the houseboy. Had the Duke changed his mind? She hoped so.

  Mounting the step
s, her anticipation altered to concern. She heard voices, loud angry voices. She knew the voices. The Duchess reached toward Cathryn. “Dear, what is going on?”

  “I have no idea, but I intend to find out.”

  She walked into the foyer. The voices came echoing out of the study even with the doors shut tight. The Duchess followed Cathryn down the foyer.

  “What gave you the right? How dare you? I trusted you. You were my best friend!”

  “Give me time, Jake. I can explain. It wasn’t like you think. You walked away! When she needed you the most, it was you that walked away!”

  “Did I not give you a letter to give to her? Did you give her the letter? While I had to take care of my uncle, I trusted you to deliver it. I trusted no other. You never gave it to her. Did you? Did you?”

  Philip didn’t have a chance to answer for Cathryn opened the door and walked in. The room was in disarray. Chairs lay on their side; papers spread over the floor; the center table smashed. Her eyes rapidly glanced around. Jake held Philip by his collar.

  Jake let go upon her entrance. He stared at her. The hurt…the pain lay within his eyes—betrayal. Her chest heaved; her breathing quickened. He stepped around Philip, who had fallen against the wall. He strode by Cathryn, pausing a moment. He reached for her left hand. He held it up and stared at the ring upon her finger.

  He met her eyes. “I wish you well, my lady.”

  “Jake? I…” she stuttered. Her eyes followed him walking out the door. He never looked back. She glanced over at Philip. The next minute she felt everything go black.

  * * * *

  Cathryn lay in her bed awaiting the doctor. Philip sat on the edge of the mattress. His eyes filled with worry, distress, he had called for the doctor, even though Cathryn tried to stop him.

  “Philip, it happens at times,” she assured him. “I feel much better. I was taken by surprise and am quite mad at myself for such.”

  “It will make me feel better, my dear, to know that you are well,” Philip insisted. He held tight to her hand. His hand sweated. His forehead beamed with moisture.

  “Maybe he could look at you while he’s here,” Cathryn said. She turned her head away. She let go of his hand. “I need to sleep, Philip. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Protest lay upon his lips, but he looked at her once more. He bent over to kiss her.

  She moved her head so he caught the side of her cheek. Her emotions ran high. Anger fumed inside of her at her husband for lying to her…tricking her. Since her arrival in England, she had been met with only betrayal and guilt. She closed her eyes, feigning sleep until he departed.

  Cathryn refused to see anyone for the rest of the day. The doctor had come and had confirmed she needed only bed rest. So she lay in bed with her thoughts.

  The morning dawned and with it the first snow fall of the season, a light dusting of no more than a couple of inches. For the last couple of hours, she had stood by the window and stared out. At times, she noticed Philip had looked in upon her. She had said nothing. Nor had she spoken to Tacy.

  Mary hadn’t tried. Mary sat through the darkness of the night, never leaving Cathryn. Cathryn wiped her eyes and turned slowly away from the window.

  “I need to get ready for the day. Do you not think, Mary?”

  Cathryn walked down the stairs. She had Tacy take care with her appearance. She couldn’t remember feeling so nauseated. The feeling never ceased, but she fought it back. The house had descended into silence. She found Philip by the fire. His eyes were focused, intent upon the flame. He looked desolate. His face was pale. He had tried to cover, but Cathryn noticed the bruise marks that could not be hidden around his neck.

  The Duchess immediately caught sight of Cathryn. “My dear, you shouldn’t be up. The doctor said for you to rest.”

  Cathryn didn’t respond to her statement. Instead, she sighed heavily, holding back a wave of nausea. “Do you mind leaving us for but a moment, Your Grace?”

  Cathryn noticed the look exchanged between Philip and Her Grace, but he nodded to his mother. She said no more, but passed by Cathryn with pleading eyes. Cathryn didn’t divert her attention from Philip.

  “Cathryn, I need to tell you everything. I need to explain.” He walked over toward her. She held her hand up to stop him.

  “Stay where you are, Philip,” Cathryn said, holding back her emotions. “I need to say this and can’t if you are upon me. Please.”

  Philip paused. “Then let’s at least sit.” Cathryn took a seat upon the couch. He sat facing her upon the high wing-back chair, gripping the arm tightly.

  She stared down at the floor. “This is so hard for me, Philip. I have thought about everything that has occurred. My journey since I arrived on the shores of England. How much my life has changed! How much I had taken for granted being the protected, beloved daughter! Then everything fell apart.”

  “Cathryn, I…”

  “Please, Philip. I need to say this without stopping. I’m not without a semblance of intelligence. Yesterday, I realized easily you have done something to deceive Jake and myself. For some reason, Jake believes you have betrayed him in some manner.” She put her hand up again, for he was about to interject. “Listen, please. I laid in our bed and thought of Jake. I kept seeing his face over and over, but all I could remember was the pain I felt when he left me. I had never been so deserted, so alone. You didn’t do that, Philip. Jake did.

  “I’m not saying that if you hadn’t brought to me what he asked or the situation that he found himself in I wouldn’t have accepted him back. I don’t know, but this I do know, Philip. You had no need for my money or possessions, nor did you expect me to be perfect. For you know, Philip, I’m so far from perfection.” Her voice cracked.

  Philip needed no more, he was by her side.

  “I want to tell you everything, Cathryn. I do,” he uttered, taking her hand to his lips. “You may yet find you hate me, but I can’t go on like this. I can’t run anymore.”

  “Is it going to change the fact I’m your wife?” she asked. She reached over, touching his face. “I don’t want to know, Philip. Not now. It will serve no purpose, for it won’t change how I feel about you, Philip.”

  “What kind of man do you think I am, Cathryn?”

  “You are a good man, Philip. Jake left me. When I needed him the most, he left me. I don’t know what a letter would have done to change that fact. I don’t need to know,” she said softly. “You took me as I was. You gave me love when I needed it the most.”

  “You might think differently,” he answered. Then he stopped. He eyed her tenderly. “You are my world, Cathryn. Whatever happens or has happened, remember how much I love you.”

  She reached over and touched his face. “I love you, Philip.”

  Saying it out loud to convince him or herself, she didn’t know, but she would hold to it. He kissed her and took her in his arms, but even as he held her, her thoughts ran to Jake. His face. His eyes. A part of her cried out for him. But he had left her so alone…and Philip had rescued her.

  * * * *

  Over the next few weeks, Cathryn found she was in a constant state of queasiness. She had once again found herself in bed the first week of January. She could hold little down. Philip hovered around her, but his own health had taken a drastic turn. He fatigued quite easily.

  There was much that concerned Cathryn.

  The Duchess of Eversleigh requested the doctor from London. He had come and consulted the local doctor. The whole of the house avoided the subject. The doctor talked to Philip and the Duchess. No one talked to Cathryn. She had no desire for them to do so.

  Cathryn found herself living again day to day. She could see worry within both Philip and his mother, but she had no desire to confront such. She grasped hold of her new life: a beginning with a man who loved her beyond reason, who gave her back her life with meaning, who had given her a child growing within her with a promise of a future. She refused to let go; she wasn’t going to allow her
life to take yet another turn, another change.

  But she cried when the Duchess told her she had written her husband. He wanted them to return to London immediately. The Duchess thought it best. They departed the next day.

  * * * *

  The first night in London, Philip held tight to Cathryn. She awoke to find him staring at her. His hand lay upon her stomach. “I believe, my darling wife, the babe is beginning to grow.”

  “Do you think so?” she responded. Her hand met his. “Oh, Philip, I’m going to be huge. The babe isn’t due until July.”

  “I will love you no matter your size.” He laughed.

  Cathryn slapped him slightly.

  “You say that now, but I have seen women…” she said, bringing her hands way in front of her stomach.

  He pushed back her hair. “We haven’t begun to talk of names. Have you thought of any?”

  “Not much. We have a while, Philip, but you seem to have been thinking about some,” she replied. To her it seemed surreal, as if she was listening to another, for his words haunted her.

  “I have,” he answered. “Of course if it is a boy, he would be heir to the dukedom. My father would expect him to be named after him. I would like to do so, too. It would mean much to me.”

  “My darling, you can name the babe whatever you want. Your wish is my command.”

  “Charles, then, my love. My father’s name is Charles. My full name is Philip Guy Charles. I was thinking of Charles Philip. That way if it’s a boy, he would have something of mine, also,” he uttered in her ear.

  She wanted desperately to cry out he could tell his son himself, but she held back. Reality was slowly creeping within their world. He had a need to tell her. “If it’s a girl, I have one, also. Lucy, after my grandmother. You would have liked her. I know she would like you.”

  Silence ensued within the darkness. Cathryn lay awake, watching the shadows of the night play against the walls. Her eyes fixated upon them.